Hey hey! It's Christmas Eve! Merry Christmas Eve everyone. I'd love to sit around and type, but we're about to eat dinner and my hands are freezing cold. (Those were two totally different ideas, but it's true, my hands are extremely cold, I'm probably only typing 60 words a minute to my usual 180 right now, I think I have bad circulation while I'm sitting, because I drop temperature dramatically).

My brother should be by tomorrow.

My friends Ryan and Sean brought over a gift, and we scrambled to create theirs (burned music) immediately. I rarely get Christmas gifts for people, you know, but always birthday gifts and such if I know about their birthday in advance. I'm not much for a flow of currency if you know what I mean, I like to have possession of my money, despite the fact that I hate it and despise the material value that people create with it. Food is so expensive . . .

Anyway, dinner is ready soon.

I just learned that I'm going to stay at a friends for a few days . . . from Sunday to New Year's Eve, so I won't be writing journal entries during that time. We can call it my "first break" I suppose. Either way, I'm still having fun writing these because it gives me a chance to think of how industrious I was over the day, and how much fun I'm having in life, and all that good stuff. It also helps me to realize what's going right and wrong in life . . . mainly because I haven't reread these yet, but while I'm writing them I have the ability to express my opinions and emotions.

Tomorrow morning I'm driving 3 hours to pick up my brother for Christmas - joy! Driving! Brother! Makes me jolly with those rosy Santa cheeks, you know?

Take care my friends.

-1 Hour Later-

Well, this sucks . . . allow me to explain. You see, a few days ago my mom called me an idiot on the way to band practice because I didn't close the door and lock it, but I closed just the screen door instead, and we discovered this immediately after I'd shut the screen door. A silly thing to call someone an idiot over if you ask me, mainly because it was a simple mistake. Today, she called me stupid because I'd forgotten to buy a present for Ryan and Sean and created one that very same day, but I still remembered, and I still put thought in it, so I don't see that it was wrong. I gave them my two favorite CDs, so I hope they enjoy them - I've grown with them, and don't really need them. Anyway, to move on with the "this evening is sucking" story . . . my Aunt sent me some clothes for Christmas - she's an amazing clothes shopper. She bought me a matching swim suit set, but sadly they were too small by one or two sizes, because if I made the slightest motion my shirt would tighten at the shoulders, and my swimsuit with the velcro snap would unstick. So, my mom said some cruel comment about something, and I mentioned that she'd been saying a lot of cruel things to me lately, which further led to my father saying that I'd ruined the spirit of our Christmas evening, and my mother approaching tears because I'd called her bullshit.

Sometimes life as a teenager is far too overemotional. I state my mind about the holidays, that it's a time where people shouldn't be called idiots or stupid by their parents, and yet I'm accused of ruining the spirit of christmas. I'd say the crying was nothing more than an emotional blackmail game, and my father coming in and telling me I'd ruined the evening was unnecessary. Do they not even consider that I too have feelings? Do they look only at the nice things they say to get the images of themselves? Either way, they are doing wrong - I'm not some toy for emotional abuse - Christmas or no Christmas what happened tonight has made me feel as though I'm a pitiful person.

They'll probably read this . . . this is how I feel though, so what're they going to do, call me stupid?

You don't ask someone "Why do you feel bad?" then call them an idiot, or call them stupid just two days later. That's either extreme myopic nature, or hypocrisy, I can't really distinguish at the moment I'm too . . . upset? disappointed? Help me with the words here guys, I've got to go.

Everything will be fine in the morning, because it always is . . .

P.S. The christmas dinner was amazing and tasty. We had mashed potatoes, zucchini and squash combo as a vegetable, and ham with apple jelly and barbecue sauce as a topping. It was delicious.

Take care my friends #2.

-1 Hour Later-

To help resolve things, and because I felt guilty about my father's comment, I appologized to both of my parents separately. I'd rather get along with them over the holidays. My mom said she was wrong to call me stupid, and an idiot, and my father had a talk with me about things that made me feel better, one of those talks like, "I understand because I've been there", and it made me feel good to have someone to relate to that really understands me.

I probably shouldn't have said everything I said earlier, but I think it's good to keep it here, because it shows that people make mistakes, but they can still be resolved.

Take care my friends #3.