Today was an exciting, energetic, and entertaining day all smashed into one, but it has left me exhausted. It's 7:15, and I just got home from G.A.T.E. as usual. Let me talk a bit about some deep feelings I had today.

First of all, I remembered that last night I said that I would talk about phobias, and as I do frequently, I got wrapped up in the most appealing train of thought and totally neglected my commitment to tell you all of my phobias, so allow me to explain them now. First of all, I used to have arachniphobia to an extreme. That was probably 2 or 3 years ago, before I got a job working in an old wood pile, stacking and moving wood. It's very difficult for one to have arachniphobia and work in a wood pile for $10.00 an hour, so I decided that I would lose the arachniphobia and keep in mind that the power of my fist bests the power of millimeter teeth on a single spider, almost anytime. (Some day if you're interested, allow me to tell you the red ant story from Florida).

Anyway, so my first phobia that I discussed was arachniphobia, but the second, which I don't have the technical term for, other than the definition "2-C", is common among most teenagers. 2-C is a psychological commonality, that just about everybody has - the desire to love and be loved in return. Being a teenager, I of course desire a working relationship, but at the same time fear the process of getting into one. For the time being I'm concentrating on my studies and occupying my mind with them, and them alone, but at the same time of course there's the whisper of human lust that crawls around the dimensions of my mind at every possibility it has. Let me tell you all something, honestly, because I'm ready to talk about it now. Before, I'd pushed it off and ignored it, just as Holden Caulfield did his problems in Catcher in the Rye, but I think I'm ready to face the fact that . . . As much as I'd like to say this, it's hard for me . . . mainly because despite the fact that this person has caused me a lot of emotional disappointment and anger, I still feel some sort of emotional attachment to that person - the remainder of a partial friendship perhaps. So, instead, for the sake of that person and my morals, I'm going to speak anonymously about that which has troubled my mind in the past. To me, she was attractive, God was she ever. That wasn't always the way though, it was part of what I'm going to elaborate on throughout the entire rest of my journal - Being mislead, and how it leads to mankind's inhumanity to man. This misleading ruined not only a friendship, but crushed my previous feelings for that person. So much so, that she immaturely stopped speaking to me, and dropped the issue with me entirely. There are so many words I want to spew out at the same time - I want to talk about the whole idea of a "shadow emotion", one that is totally contradictory to the argument that one is making, and how I'm experiencing that same emotion and doubt while I'm writing this entry . . . Not because I doubt my previous choices of course, but because I doubt whether or not discussing a previous relationship is even worth it. Although, I must admit, after venting on myself to myself, I feel much better. Journals are good for that.

Now that I'm done concluding yesterday's entry, please allow me to enlighten you all on the wonderful day that I had today. Today brought back a load of memories, and will most likely be the start of some amazing new ones.

I'm going to start telling about today with the fact that I woke up tired, and did the same mundane routine I do every morning, then took off for school. In drafting, I'm working on a project of drawing a standard desk with a glass table top. It's challenging, but a lot of fun. English was good, mainly because Mr. Sumner is really good at giving intelligent lectures, and we can practically learn an entire novel from his lectures alone. Spanish was great because I love the topic, and Mrs. Larkin is the goddess of the Spanish realm. World Civ was a pleasure as usual. Fifth period, the highlight of my day (as many of you can guess, I didn't exactly have math class 5th period today), I went to the first meeting of the Summer Search leadership potential program. I have been selected along with 25 or so other kids from my school as possible born leaders, and will have potential for being qualified for the Summer Search program, in which case I would receive many scholarships and be able to go on journey's abroad and what not. Sixth period was P.E., and we went down to the weight room, which contributed to my sore body. Seventh period was chemistry, and I managed to have a lot of fun taking a test. Mainly because I was able to deal with any anxiety that I had, and I'm very confident that I did well. We'll see the results when the exam is returned. I got an A in the class for the mid-quarter report, because he told me.

My day wasn't over with seventh period though. I went to the library and tried to get some help with the math lesson that we'd been assigned and I hadn't gotten lectured on. It vaguely made sense, and I could probably get a C on the first part of the chapter for now, but I want an A, so I'm going to continue to study it with my peers and teachers, and ask questions tomorrow in class so that I can actually gain a sort of understanding this chapter. So far though, the beginning makes sense, and the middle lacks all lucidity possible.

After that, I went to G.A.T.E., and had a flashback and a foreshadowing in my life. Mr. Olzman, the absolute best English teacher I've ever had, who has helped to shape my analytical writing was the teacher for the program today, and I absolutely loved it. Even though I was tired, it was a pleasure being in his company. He is most likely one of my favorite teachers ever - other than that it would be my fourth grade teacher Patty, who we've stayed in touch with, and she is probably one of the better family friends. Anyway, the cool thing was that I played three games of chess, one of them being a one on six (everyone against me), all of which I won. I had the best checkmate of my life today, in which I was able to sacrifice the most valuable unit, the queen, in order to checkmate my opponent on the next move. It was the coolest move I've ever made, and I'm still extremely happy that I was able to do it finally.

Chess club pictures are tomorrow, I better look sharp. *Smile*.

Take care my friends, I'm doing great!