Well well, back to routine, at least for another four days - "and then, God created weekends." Let's start with the beginning - specifically, in the butt-crack of dawn that some people like to call morning. If you previously called it morning, you're wrong. As we near this winter season, it's actually called "mourning" - it's dark and cold outside. By the way, the other day I was asked the question "Why do you set your clock to 6:09 instead of 6:10" - a few reasons.

1) Non-conformist - you WANT me to put it on 6:10, don't you?

2) For some god-forsaken reason my clock gets around 59.95 seconds to a minute instead of 60, so every few days it starts running fast. This makes less effort for me in the future if I set it a few minutes ahead - by the end of the week things will have changed and I'll be waking up at 6:10.

Oh oh, while I'm at it, this is a great place to talk about motivation. Some of you might believe motivation is going to school because you've got a pretty girlfriend or a handsome boyfriend, for others of you it may be that you want a sweet ride in your brand new car. Then there's people who value other things of course, like future education and the passion for not flipping burgers at some fast food joint where your boss is some one-armed Italian woman who says she wants you to utilize her arm and help you flip her skillet. Now,what this all sums down to though, is the modern invention of man. Sure, you may not have thought of this before, but think about it now, because it could change the way you're thinking for the rest of your life.

Time.

Everyone wants a part of your effort.

Everyone wants a part of you. Love, hate, whatever it may be. We're influenced by everyone around us. Every "thing" around us affects us subconsciously and consciously in one way or another - our being is touched. One might see a hair-style out of the corner of his eye, his subconscious filters the information as "wow that person's cool", and then later one may imitate that hair-style and claim that it was his own. Interesting how the human mind works. Even more interesting that we have humans manipulating humans in this very same system we call a civilized society. Take me for example.

What a beautiful night it is. It's 8:13. I could go outside. Oh wait, I can't do that. I have a test tomorrow on Catcher in the Rye, and I need to review the 150 pages so I can get a good "grade". Oh wait, I'm being rated! Grand. All of us are. We're the peons of the United States of America, destined to scrounge for green paper to keep ourselves alive. A starving boy might stumble into a fast food joint, and be denied food because "he doesn't have a dollar nineteen". Personally I'd rather see the boy with a job, contributing to the rest of society just like myself - as you all know, I have a job. However, back on track - Nobody deserves to starve. At the same time though, one should realize that if we aren't wise to ideas such as "I can't walk outside because I'll fail my test tomorrow", we should also realize that we're being dictated, and that if we're going to survive we have to fight for that survival. The way of doing that? Play the game.

Learn how THEY play the game. Use it against them. "How can I use this" - the question that everyone will find themselves asking at one point or another. I ask myself the question all the time, it gets me into trouble sometimes, but at least I gain a certain understanding of the way the world works. Guess that's all part of being a teenager though.

Speaking of using. I choose my friends. I don't let them choose me. If you're reading this journal, you mean something to me. You're somebody special, you're somebody I love or care about. Misinterpretation is the number one cause for failed relationships.

I had my second driver's training lesson today by the way. The instructor's a real kick. "Turn on your blinky blink, don't hit the woolfy-woofs or the pedestrians!" or "Some crazy girl nearly busted my tire the other day *scoff* Sheesh." My favorite today was, "Toot your horn, that lady doesn't know which shade of green she prefers."

By the way, I love to write poetry. It's a side of me that involves a deep, reflective expression of what I'm going through. When I write poetry, it's either about random objects or about something deep, and it rarely strays from that.

I talked to my English teacher about how my journal seems like rambling sometimes . . . he told me to re-read my entries, and that in one way or another, the human mind will connect itself. You know what . . . he's right. Everything I wrote here reflects my current state of mind. Except I forgot to communicate one last thing.

Picture me: I'm relaxed, one foot on my desk, my keyboard just at arms reach, me typing away slowly, my eyes closing slightly because I'm tired. I'm comfortable. I'm relaxed. I'm loving life. I haven't been so happy in weeks - I'm getting along with my parents great, I'm not in a stressful relationship, and I get to vent all my problems to society through the internet.

Never better.

G'night friends.

(By the way, if anyone ever wants to read some of my poetry, I'd be more than happy to share. It's on an ask-tell schedule though. I didn't get a chance to upload the astrology section. My friend didn't get me the information she told me she would, oh well, girls!)