Well, the math test was horrible . . . I felt so prepared, and to not even be able to finish the test in the designated time was a disappointment unexplainable to any of you. I set standards for myself that are constantly higher than what I can achieve, and it seems as though I've done it to myself once again, and have not been able to achieve the near unachievable. I hope to get a higher grade on the next test, and to maintain a decent grade in the class, but I'm trying so hard as it is . . . my friends tell me that's the problem though (that I'm trying to hard), and that I need to relax and I will do well. Now, I know they are right.

During the test I got such a bad headache I didn't know whether to subtract or add to get 0 on one side of the equation. It was so stressful that I felt dizzy and near faint. That's extreme, it was only a math test, and I should have remembered that before getting so sick and stressed.

Now I feel pale, cold, and ill. I have disappointed myself, but I look forward to reaching my standards once again. I've swallowed my pride and am going to allow myself to be tutored.

Spanish went well . . Nick and I did extremely well.

After school was good, people say I made a wonderful improvisational speech, and that I should certainly try out for speech and debate next year. That made me feel much better, but at the same time there was a lurking agony of self-disappointment inside of me. Especially since I have that pictographic memory, and I managed to solve 3 of the 4 problems I hadn't solved in my head as I was putting my head on my desk in chemistry trying to alleviate some stress. What's worse is I realized I forgot a single zero in one of my answers, which throws it off and makes it wrong. There goes more points. How stressful.

I'm going to start taking some apathy lessons - It's time to start enjoying math whether I do well or poorly in it, because I never want to feel like this again.

I think that I'm going to go take a shower and cool off, feel better, get some rest, and in the morning I will pull out my math book and get ready to kick some Algebra II ass - I'm going to enjoy this next chapter because it's going to be fun, I'm going to understand, and things are going to be positive. At least I hope so.

Take care my friends, I will too.