Good entry today, at least I hope so . . . this is something that's been mulling in my mind for the past few days, especially while reading All Quiet on the Western Front, and after hearing some gossip later on today about something I'll go into at the very end of this entry.

First of all, let me ask you all to do something. Consider what you all were wearing today. Did anyone give you compliments on your clothing? Was it unusual for you? Casual? Sexy? Consider what the average responses to the people around you have been in the past, and did you get any variation, respect, or disrespect because of your new look?

My point in this entry is this. People judge you by what you wear. As I've discussed before, goths are immediately judged. I could be "Gothic Bob", just as Casey is "Gothic Casey", but by being a goth I'd be given a connotation that all the other goths on campus seem to have. (Something along the lines of being depressed or a rebel against society, this isn't the topic of this entry so it's not my focus). I ran a 1:01 400 meter sprint with my jeans on, and because of it earned the respect of several members on the track and cross country teams. How? I proved myself to them. People never would expect anything of me because I wear long baggy black jeans and a collared t-shirt, until I go sailing by at 400 meters a minute (In miles per hour that's decent . . . let's see, 3.3 feet in a meter makes 1200 feet, divided into 5280 and calculate a proportion for mph by isolating X - you all know how I feel about math lately though, so let's trail off . . .)

Basically, what I've been getting at is the idea that if one wears a certain type of clothing they can accomplish small goals. By wearing what I wear I get several advantages. From teachers, whether noticed or not, there is a different level of respect. If one dresses with a collared shirt, it is true that person will be immediately judged differently than those around him wearing spaghetti strap bras and mesh tunics. From peers, I have my baggy jeans. I slouch a little and push my legs a bit and my jeans become more easily visible, and I am immediately given a punk association, because "do it yourself, I don't care." For those of you who are into research on punk culture, go ahead and do a www.google.com search on "Punk, Do It Yourself movement", it's actually quite interesting. Punk culture is fascinating, especially its direct influence with the next generation of popular culture. It seems as though punk culture has died off at El Molino though, and a small minority is attempting to start a new influence among the younger generations and isn't prevailing very well. The direct effect is most likely taking place among the siblings of the true punks, which will cause a new generation of weighted punk culture.

Anyway, today was a pretty good day. 2 4 and 6, so I only had three classes, which made life a bit easier. I needed the break, and my legs were hurting quite a bit today from running and working out yesterday. At the end of the day, I was informed that one whom I thought I could trust (Tom, for those of you who care) has been saying quite a few rude things about me behind my back. Perhaps he doesn't understand my situation. I'll talk to him about it, because I have a feeling he has been directly influenced by another persons point of view, who will remained unnamed. I honestly don't mind him as a person, but that's a recent development. I was fed quite a few lies about him for quite some time, so I didn't like him, but as I discovered their untruth, I changed. Perhaps he'll do the same.

I've been playing chess a lot lately again, I love it.

AHH! That reminds me, someone stole all 5 chess sets from the chess club. If any of you have any information, please contact me immediately, or contact Greck in J6. I'm collecting 3 dollars from all chess club members to buy new boards and pieces - we should be able to buy around 10 "checkers" quality sets.

I'm actually very happy, and I'm feeling good about things. I got a 95 out of 100 on my last English essay on Catcher in the Rye. It made me feel awesome. I guess that's a bit odd considering I hate being judged, and grades are simply a means of judging . . . but I'm coming to accept that other people do think about me, whether I want them to or not. I'm going to be entering a few poems of mine into a competition in Sebastapol if I can, and the school contest. The category? Diversity of course.

Take care my friends.