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Many times before, I've said my feelings are indescribable. Right now, you have no idea. Let me tell you a story, and then I'm going to go wash my face and go to bed. I'm very weary, and very depressed about all this, and most certainly very shook up. Tonight, at the pasta feed, many cool things happened, and I had a great time. I had a great time for the most part though. Not the entire thing was such fun. Half way through the dance, I asked an older woman who told me she loved swing dancing and said it was fun to watch us dancing, if she would like to dance with me. We walked out, and started dancing. She told me she felt dizzy, so we started to talk to a chair. She had a seizure. Her husband was there, and it wasn't a big scene or anything. Supposedly, she has a seizure condition. However, the moment has left me scarred with guilt, and the image of that woman curling up in her chair will last with me, forever. Jenna was performing tonight - I had no idea I'd see her there. We saw each other several times. I didn't ask her to dance. I didn't want to dance with her. She hurt me. She's started smilling at me, and looking at me with her pretty hazel eyes again. I suppose that's just her way. It's not mine. Allyssa's love seems to wax and wane with the moon, and thank god, today and hopefully forever it has waned. Lord give me strength. Take care my friends.
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