I looked at Mush. He nodded for me to go ahead, so I took a deep breath and began to tell the boys what I knew. "Well, after I told Spot...well, you know what I told him. Anyway, I thought you'd all be mad at me." Mush opened his mouth to say something, but I pressed on. "I ran for a couple of blocks, then sat down against a building in an alley and cried for a little while. I thought about you guys for a long time, and started...well, daydreaming, I guess. I didn't realize how late it was getting, and the next thing I remembered, it was cold and dark, and I had no idea where I was. I stood up to figure it out and kinda ran into Mike. Then I passed out and woke up in the room I told you guys about. Everything was like it had been before I ran away, but worse. Jack and Mike and Mike's friend, David, came in almost everyday. It was Jack and Mike that beat up Bits. They told me about it every night." I turned to Bits. "Bits, I'm so sorry for what my father did to you! I'd give anything if it'd just been me! It was my fault, I shouldn't have run off. That's the only reason he came after you, because he was mad at me for leaving and you probably looked kind of like me from behind." I stopped and tried to compose myself.

While I paused, Bits and Mush both inturrupted my story. Mush went first.

"Tremb, nothing and I mean nothing could ever make us hate you! We looked for ya all night, and every night since ya left. We were so worried!" Mush started.

"And it's not yer fault yer pop soaked me. He's just a jerk, and you can't help that! I'm glad you left when ya did. If ya hadn't, you'd be dead by now!" Bits finished up.

I nodded absently and continued my story. "Anyway, after a while, I just didn't care anymore. I couldn't eat or concentrate on anything. I hated living in that tiny room, and I wanted out of it, anyway I could get out. I figured the only way I could was to just go ahead and let Jack and Mike kill me. I thought he was going to anyway, so I just figured I was saving both of us some time. I figured my dreams could never come true anyway, so I decided it was best to just forget about them." When I finished, I looked up to find all the guys staring at me in astonishment.

"Ya mean ya didn't wanna live no more?" Bumlets asked.

"No, I didn't. Would you want to live like that?" I said quietly.

Mush looked at me for a long time, and everyone was silent, trying to understand what I'd been through. "I'm glad you didn't give up completely, Trembles." he whispered.

I looked at him. "But I did, Mush. The day you guys came and found me, I'd given up. I had decided the night before that I wasn't going to even try any more. I hadn't eaten in days. I didn't even have enough energy to open my eyes. I heard everything you said, but I couldn't open my eyes." I waited a second, then asked a question that had been on my mind for a while. "Um...guys? How did you know where I was? I never told you where Jack's apartment was, or which room in it was mine."

"I can't believe it took me as long as it did ta figure out where youse was, Tremb." Spot's voice startled everyone. No one had seen him come in. "You pointed that window out to me once, 'memba? I wasn't really paying attention at the time, but when youse had been gone a whole week, I tried ta think of ever'thing you ever said 'bout yer family, hopin' I could figure it out. Then I remembered you pointing out that window, and I got to thinking. I asked Snoddy why you would'a told me somethin' like dat. He couldn't figure it out either, so we decided to check it out." He looked around the room, then back at me. "And we's shoa glad we did!" Laughter broke out throughout the room.

A nurse came in then, and ushered everyone out. They all said their goodbyes and promised to visit soon. Everyone left, and I settled down to wait out the night. About ten minutes after I had been left alone, I heard the door open again, and saw my brother walking towards the bed, with Mush right behind him.

"Rob? Mush? What are you guys doing here? I thought the nurse made everyone leave."

Rob grinned. "She did, but me an' Mush convinced her ya needed yer brudda and yer boyfriend. And you've got to start callin' me Snoddy. I ain't Rob no more."

I laughed. "Okay, Snoddy. Just give me time to get the hang of it. Come to think of it, how did you get the name Snoddy?"

His face turned red. "That, my little sister, is a whole other story!" He turned to Mush. "Mush, take care of me sis, k?" Mush nodded, and my brother left to go back to the Lodging House. Mush came over and took his place on the bed next to me.

"I figured you'd sleep betta if someone was here wid ya." he said simply.

"Thanks, Mush, I appreciate it. I was just going to stay up until you guys came in the morning."

Mush nodded. "That's what I thought. Get comfortable and go to sleep. I'll stay here wid ya all night, so ya don't have to worry."

I hugged Mush tightly, then leaned up to kiss him on the cheek. "You're great, Mush. Did I ever tell ya dat?"

Mush grinned. "Nope. Ya must'a forgot. Did I ever tell ya that I loves ya?"

My breath caught in my throat. "No," I choked out. "Do you know how long I've waited to hear that from you, Mush? I love you too! And I'll never forget that!"

Mush pulled me to him and kissed me. When he was done, he looked at me and smiled softly. "Just don't ever forget yer dreams, either, Tremb. Without dem, what's life for? Some things ya can't forget. Know what dose are?"

I smiled. "No, but I bet you're going to tell me, huh?"

Mush laughed. "Yup. Ya know me too well. Friends, family, and dreams. And by family, I don't mean yer pop. I mean yer mudda and Snoddy. Those three things: friends, good family, and dreams, you never forget, no matter how bad things get. Promise?"

I kissed him. "I promise." I whispered, then I leaned against my boyfriend and we both fell into a peaceful sleep. That night, I dreamed of being in the Manhattan Lodging House, sleeping between Mush and Snoddy, and selling papes with my friends everyday, dreaming of when we could go on to something better, and enjoying our lives until then.

The End

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