When I woke up the next morning, Spot and Tracks were both in my room, and Tracks was shaking me awake. I sat up in bed, and remembered the night before, and the dreams I had had that night. I dreamed of Jack and Manhattan all night. I loved Spot like a brother, but I just couldn't go to Manhattan to meet this Jack person. It brought back too many memories.
"C'mon, Tremb, we's gotta go. Jacky-boy and da rest of da Manhattan newsies is waitin' fer us at da bridge."
"Go on without me, I'll catch up later." I mumbled, pulling the covers back up over my head.
"TREMBLES, GIT UP OUTTA DAT BED!!" Spot screamed, yanking the covers away from me. I sat up quickly, trying to get my covers back. I had just gotten to them when Tracks yanked them away again, this time throwing them across the room.
"What's da matta wid you, Trembles?? Spot and I needs ya right now, and I would'a thought dat ya liked us enough ta come wid us."
"I DO like you!! I love you guys like brothers, but I just CAN'T go with you to meet Jack! Please understand! If there's ANYTHING I can do, just let me know, I'll do it!! Anything but going to meet Jack."
Spot looked upset, and Tracks was furious. "Fine." he said, "We'll go alone. We didn't need ya help anyway." Having said that, Tracks stormed out of the room. Spot just looked at me sadly and followed.
I looked around frantically for my clothes. Tracks had layed them over the chair nearby. I jumped up and scrambled into them, then dashed out of the Lodging House to catch up with Spot and Tracks. They were within sight of the bridge when I finally caught them.
"Spot! Tracks! WAIT!!" I yelled. They turned around and stopped, waiting for me to catch up.
"Glad ya could join us, Trembles. Mind tellin' us what yer problem was?" I could tell Tracks was still mad at me, but Spot's eye gave his gratitude away.
"It doesn't matter, Tracks. Just promise me one thing...don't leave me alone with Jack. PLEASE. That's all I'm asking. Stay with me. Okay?" I knew I sounded ridiculous, and that I must have looked absolutely terrified (I was shaking AGAIN!) but I didn't care. I had to know that I wouldn't be alone with anyone named Jack.
Tracks looked thoroughly confused. Spot was confused, then mad. "Okay, Trembles." He said slowly. "But I have a question for ya. What'd Jacky-boy do ta youse ta make ya so scared of him?"
The question startled me, even though it probably shouldn't have. "Oh! Nothing, Spot. I've never met him, I just... I don't know. I just don't wanna be left alone with him, that's all."
The boys looked at me strangely, but nodded. We began walking towards the brige again. A few minutes later, the bridge came into full view, as well as the 20 or so boys waiting there. I stopped short. "Wait!"
"What's wrong, now, Trembles?" Tracks said, obviously very annoyed.
"I'm sorry, I just....which one's Jack?" I asked, my voice shaking. Spot looked at me with a mixture of sympathy, curiousity, and carefully veiled anger.
"Jacky-boy's da one wid da cowboy hat on." he said.
I looked at the boy he had pointed out. He was fairly tall and had brown hair. He wore a rope around his waist, a red bandana around his neck, and the hat Spot had talked about on his head. He was obviously the leader of the Manhattan newsies, and walked forward with another boy to meet us. The boy with him also had brown hair, but his was curly. He smiled softly as he walked towards them, showing that he had dimples.
"Heya Spot! Heya Tracks! Glad ya could make it. Who's yer friend? I don't think I's seen him around before!" Jack said, walking toward us. He spit-shook with Spot, then Tracks, then focused his attention on me. He stared at me for so long that I pulled back toward Tracks and shivered. Tracks put his arm around me protectively, and Spot moved between me and Jack.
"She's da goil newsie I was tellin' ya about. She gets noivous easy, so just back off, okay?"
Jack looked confused, but nodded. "Okay, whatevah. I's Jack, and dis is Davey. Nice ta meet'cha."
I nodded at them, and Jack looked back at Spot. "Okay, Spot, we's already been ovah to da hospital dis mornin' and da docs said Bits is doin betta dan dey though she would. Dey think she's gonna be okay. Now we's just gotta find da Delancys." Jack looked disgusted at the thought of finding the brothers. Spot looked happy enough to burst.
"We can drop da goil off at da hospital while we go ta find da Delancys, so's she'll be outta trouble. C'mon, let's go!"
"Wait a minute! Don't I get a say in this? I HATE hospitals, so I guess that means I'm going with you guys to find the Delanceys, too." I stuck my chin out, feeling my stubborness kick in.
Jack looked exasperated. "Look, goil, ya cain't come wid us, it's too dangerous." This boy obviously had no idea who he was talking to.
Tracks spoke up for me. "She can go. I'll stay wid her. Now, we needs ta split up inta groups."
Jack looked disgusted that a girl was going with them, then looked around at all the other newsies. "Okay, fine. Tracks, Mush, Blink, Race, Bumlets, Specs, and Snoddy, youse guys go togedda. Goil, I guess youse goin' wid dem. Guys, make sure she's nevah alone, cuz da Delanceys'll grab her if she is. Goil, watch yer back. Spot, Boots, Davey, Swifty, Itey, Jake, Dutchy, and Snipeshooter, youse go wid me, and da rest of youse guys are in da thoid group. Everyone split up, and we's gonna meet back at Tibby's tonite fer dinna. See ya den, and be careful!" With that, Jack and his group took off in one direction, Spot giving me a "be careful" look before leaving. The other group took off in another direction, and Tracks lead our group in yet another direction.
We ran for about a block, then Tracks stopped us. He led us all into an alley, pulled me up beside him, and looked at the Manhattan newsies. "Guys, this is Trembles, da goil me an' Spot told ya bout. Trembles, dese guys are Racetrack, Blink, Mush, Specs, Bumlets, and Snoddy." I looked at each of the guys Tracks introduced me to, nodding at each one. They all seemed really nice and smiled, and a few reached out to kiss my hand. The one Tracks called Mush was very good looking, and the ones he called Snoddy, Race, and Blink all seemed familiar somehow. I assumed I'd seen them selling their papes when I'd lived in Manhattan.
I hadn't realized I'd been staring at them until Tracks elbowed me in the side. "Hi." I managed to spit out. The guys looked at Tracks, then back at me and began laughing. At first, I was embarassed, but pretty soon I was laughing right along with them.
"So, Trembles, how long ya been a newsie in Brooklyn? Ya don't tawk likes youse from 'round heres." Racetrack asked me.
I smiled at him. "Oh, about three months. I made a deal with Tracks and Spot that if I could sell papes as good as the next newsie that I could keep my own accent."
"Why'd ya wanna do dat?" Snoddy asked looking at me suspiciously. "Ya don't think youse betta dan us, do ya?"
"Oh, no! Nothing like that! I just... I have personal reasons."
The guys couldn't seem to come to grips with what kind of newsie wouldn't want to talk like every other newsie, and, as much as I hated it, I knew it would be a lot easier to just tell the guys why I talked the way I did.
"All right, I'll tell you, but don't say a WORD to anyone else, okay? Not even Spot. Promise?"
They each promised, so I told them about how my mother had died when I was a baby, and how the rest of my family refused to discuss her. I told them about how the other people in my neighborhood had told me about what a fine lady she was and how wonderfully educated she was, and about my decision to speak like her. "That's all I have of my mother, and I just don't want to lose it." I finished up by saying.
Tracks put his arm around me sypathetically. Then he led me away from the others slightly, and turned me so that I was facing him. "Tremb, ya feel betta now dat youse told us 'bout yer mudda?" I nodded, not quite sure where he was going with this. He cleared his throat, and I looked back at the other guys. They looked very curious at to what we were talking about that they were being left out of. Tracks got my attention again. "Well, don't ya think ya'd feel betta if youse told us why youse were so scared ta come meet Jack?" I shuddered and began to back away from him. He reached out and grabbed my arm so I couldn't. "Tremb, just listen to me for a sec, k? All's I wanna know is why Jack got ya so scared. Did he do somethin' to youse?"
"No, of course not. Like I said, I've never met him before today."
Tracks wasn't about to give up until he found out what was bothering me. "Well, then, is it just da name Jack? What's happened to youse ta make ya so jumpy everytime dat name is mentioned? And why did we hafta go da long way to da docks dat day I took youse ta meet Spot?"
His questions were hitting a little too close to home, and I was getting annoyed. "It's personal, Tracks, and I'm not going to tell ANYONE about it. Not you, or Spot, or anyone. NEVER. Got it?"
I started to go back to the other newsies, who were still watching us, but again, I felt Tracks hand on my arm, pulling me back to him. "You're not gonna go anywhere till ya tell me, Trembles. Please, don't be difficult!" I don't think he realized that he was holding onto my arm so hard, it hurt, or that he sounded just like Jack. I know that when I heard him say that, though, I remembered the last time I had heard it. It was the day before I left, in the middle of yet another beating from Jack. I began to get scared. I knew that, unlike Jack, Tracks would never hurt me on purpose, but I also knew that he desperately wanted to know what I was keeping from him, and that he could forget himself completely at any time, and do something he'd regret.
"Tracks, let me go." I said softly. When he did't move to let me go, I spoke a little louder. "Tracks, let me go! You're hurting me!"
Tracks seemed to come to his senses and he let go just as Mush and Race came running up, with the rest of the guys behind him. Mush pulled me behind him, putting himself between me and Tracks.
"What do ya think youse doin, Tracks? Ya could've really hoit her!" Mush yelled.
Tracks looked upset. "Geez, Tremb, I's so sorry! I didn't mean to, I just wanted ta know why youse so scared'a Jack! Dat's da only thing ya won't tell me, and it hoits dat ya don't trust me enough!"
The other newsies looked confused and backed off, to let me handle Tracks. "Tracks, it's not that I don't trust you, I'd trust you with my life! It's just that I know that if I start talking about my past, he'll find me, and I couldn't bear it!! I'd die if he found me again! He'd lock me up in that horrible room again, and I wouldn't be able to stand it!" I was shaking and crying, and I'd told him WAY more than I'd ever intended to.
Tracks was so stunned to hear my outburst that he just stood there like a statue. I felt a hand on my back, and turned to find myself in Mush's arms. He held me for a long time, letting me cry, while the others waited, trying to figure out what had happened. Finally, I pulled back from Mush and turned to face Tracks.
"Oh, Tremb, I didn't know... I's so sorry. Whenevah youse feel like tawking bout it, just lemme know, ok?" I nodded, and looked around at the guys. We just stood there for a while, until Blink brought us back to what we were supposed to be doing.
"Um, guys?" He waited until we were all looking at him. "I don't mean ta break up dis lovely heart ta heart, but ain't we supposed ta be lookin' for da Delancys?"
"Oh, SHOOT! Spot'll kill us if he finds out we haven't been lookin for dem! C'mon! Let's go!" He took off out of the alley, with the rest of us following close behind. We looked for the rest of the day, without seein hide nor hair of the brothers. Finally, it was time to meet the others at Tibby's. Tracks led us through Manhattan, until we were in front of the restaurant.
We walked inside, and saw Spot and Jack sitting at a table with a few other guys. They saw us, and the other guys got up to give us their seats. After we had ordered, Jack looked around the table, then looked at me. "Any problems?" he asked.
"Nope. We didn't see the Delancys at all."
Jack nodded and turned his attention to Tracks and Spot. The three talked quietly for a long time, while the rest of us goofed off. Mush introduced me to the other Manhattan newsies. I said hi to all of them, and then some of them got very friendly with me.
"Well, Trembles, if ya wanna bodyguard ta walk youse back ta Brooklyn lata, I'd be honored." A boy who called himself Dutchy said. I looked at him. "Cute" I thought, "But not as cute as Mush. Now THERE'S a guy I could get used to having around." I could feel Mush's arm tighten around my shoulder, and before I had a chance to turn him down, I heard Blink holler from across the room: "Forget it, Dutch! She's been Mush's since he foist layed eyes on 'er!!" Everybody laughed, and I began blushing furiously. Tracks, Jack, and Spot had looked up when Blink yelled, and Tracks decided to point out to everyone how red my face was.
"Hey, Spot!" he called. "Take a look at dis. Have ya EVER seen Trembles's face quite dat red? She looks like a tomato or somethin'!"
"Ya know, now dat ya mentioned it, Tracks, I DON'T think I's ever seen Trembles dat red. What's wrong, Tremb, ya eat a peppa or somethin?"
The guys broke out in renewed laughter while I tried to hide my beet-red face. Mush finally put an end to my humiliation. "Okay, guys, dat's enough! I cain't let'cha make fun'a my goil no more! Ya leaves her alone, okay?" He got up, and, taking my hand, let me to a corner booth away from the others.
They guys laughter died down, but they never stopped chuckling. Every now and then, one would look over at me and Mush, and wisper something to the others. Then fresh laughter could be heard breaking out. Mush and I ignored them. We were having a perfectly good time talking in our booth.
The night passed by rapidly, without anyone noticing how dark it had gotten. Finally, Crutchy stood up and went to the window. "It shoa is a beautiful night out, ain't it?" He said.
"Oh, no!" Spot hollered. "We's been so busy, we didn't realize it was gettin' dark! We cain't walk back ta Brooklyn dis late!"
Jack smacked him on the back. "No problem, Spot! We's still got yer bunk ovah at our Lodgin House. And we's even got an extra one fer Tracks! Youse guys can stay dere tonite!" Spot looked relieved, then Tracks stood up.
"Wait a sec, what about Trembles? She's a goil! Dere ain't no way dat Kloppman'll let her stay."
The guys thought about that for a minute, then Jack stood up. "Okay, how's dis. We go inside, den Trembles can go up da fire escape. That woik for everyone?" We all nodded, and began walking back to the Manhattan Lodging House. We were talking and laughing, and having such a good time that no one noticed the two boys walking in the shadows behind us. After showing me where to go, the boys all went in through the front door, and I walked around to the side of the building to find the fire escape.
"What do you want?" I was able to say before a hand came back over my mouth. I looked at the boys in front of me while I waited for them to say something. They were about the same height, with dark hair. Both wore Bowler hats and one had a moustache.
The one with his hand over my mouth smiled. "Well, well. You must be Jessamyn. We's hoid a LOT bout ya from yer pop. He's been lookin' fer ya for a while now. He said he'd pay us a lotta money if we found ya! Ain't dat right, Morris?"
The boy with the moustache grinned and nodded his head. "Yup, Oscar. He shoa did." Both boys laughed, and I could feel myself begin to shake again. I wondered if they would listen to me at all about why they couldn't tell Jack where I was. I doubted it, but decided it was worth the chance.
"No, please! Please don't tell him where I am! You don't understand what he's like or what he does! I'd pay you to keep quiet myself, but I don't have any money. PLEASE! I'll do anything, just don't tell him!" I was begging them, and I hated myself for it, but I couldn't let Jack find me.
Morris just grinned bigger, if that was possible. "Anyt'ing, huh? Well, well. I'm sure I could think of SOMETHING ya could do fer us, huh, Oscar?"
I shuddered again, wondering if I might have been better off just trying my luck with Jack. But Oscar had gotten very quiet. He looked at me for a long time, while Morris began rubbing against me and kissing my neck. Finally, Oscar spoke up.
"What'd he do?" He asked quietly.
Humiliated and crying, I told them everything I'd been trying to hide for the last seven months. I told them the horrible details of nights with Jack and Mike, and everything that I hadn't been able to bear telling anyone, even Mush. While I was telling them, Morris hadn't stopped bugging me and Oscar's face had become unreadable.
Morris stopped kissing me long enough to look up and hiss in my ear, "Too bad. We'll make you feel good again, I promise." I had started to back away to run when I felt his hand start to make it's way to my chest. I was terrified, and I couldn't get away from him. Just as I was about to scream, I felt Morris being jerked away from me.
"That's enough, Morris. Leave her alone." I looked up and saw Oscar holding Morris by the neck. I was shocked as I listened to him talk to his brother. "She's been through enough. 'Member Kristi? Would we want her ta be gettin' bugged like dis?" Oscar's voice was shaking with anger. I struggled to understand what was going on.
"Kristi is dead, Oscar! She's dead, she ain't comin' back!" Morris shouted at his brother. Oscar nodded, and then we all heard my name being shouted from the fire escape. Morris and Oscar both turned to run, then Oscar stopped and came back to me.
"We won't tell yer pop we found ya. I had a goil once whose pop beat her up. I'd hafta kill 'im if I ever saw him again. We'd finally planned a way to get her away from him, an'he killed 'er. Don't worry. Ya secret's safe." He was about to say something else when we heard shouting from the Newsies and feet running down the fire escape. My friends had seen Morris Delancy, and they were MAD! Oscar knew he'd better beat it, so they both took off down the street. Half of the newsies followed them, while the other half came to look for me. Mush got to me first.
"Trembles! Is ya okay? Did he hoit ya? I'll soak da bum!"
I held on to Mush's arm, still crying from the threat of being back with Jack. "No, Mush, I'm okay. They didn't do anything." It was clear that he didn't believe me, so I told him how Morris had tried to start something, and how Oscar had stopped him and told me not to worry about being hurt. Mush looked at me in shock.
"Trembles, we needs ta get youse ta bed. It's a good thing dey didn't hoit ya, or dey'd be in big trouble!"
Mush helped me out from behind the dumpster, then up the fire escape. The guys all trickled back in, mad that they hadn't caught up with the brothers. Secretly, I was glad. They would have soaked the boys without waiting for me to tell them that they hadn't hurt me.
When we were all back in the Lodging House. I told them my version of what had happened. I told them about how Jack had been looking for me, and how he had offered the Delancys money to find me. When I got to the part about Oscar helping me and talking about Kristi, all the newsies became silent and looked totally amazed. Finally, Jack broke the silence.
"I rememba dat. Kristi and Oscar were like two peas in a pod. Ya nevah saw one without da udder. Kristi's pop used ta beat her and stuff. I'm not sure what all exactly, but I know dat dere were rumors dat he, uh....he...." Suddenly Jack fell silent and began to stare at me.
All the newsies looked from me to Jack, trying to figure out what Jack had figured out. The look in his eyes said it all. He slowly sat down on his bed, and let out a long breath, still staring at me. I pleaded with him with my eyes not to reveal my secret and hoped that none of the other newsies had known Kristi or heard the rumors concerning what her father had done to her.
"What, Jack? What did he do? Why would Trembles remind Oscar of Kristi?" Mush, along with the others was confused. I silently thanked the heavens that Jack was staying silent and no one else seemed to have been a newsie when Kristi was in the picture. I had finally relaxed when Racetrack spoke up.
"I remember what dey was sayin' bout Kristi." He said coldly. He looked at me, and I knew that he now knew my secret as well, and that he wasn't about to let it rest until everyone knew. "Trembles, is Jack yer pop?"
I looked down at the ground and felt Mush move away from me. I felt completely alone, and terrified that once the newsies knew about me, they wouldn't want me as a friend anymore. I knew I was dirty, and that no one would ever really want me. I heard Jack's voice in my head, reminding me of how no one cared, and how much better everyone would be if I was gone. I started to cry, which was enough for everyone to know the truth. Well, at least that Jack WAS my father, and that he beat me. But I knew the rest was coming, so I looked up at the other newsies. Race looked at me.
"Are you gonna tell 'em, or am I? Da guys have da right ta know, Trembles. Ya cain't keep it a secret no more, cuz Jack and I both know, and we can't keep it from da rest of da guys."
I nodded and moved over to the window. I looked outside and remembered all the times in the past three months when I had really been happy, meeting people who treated me as equals and truly cared about what happened to me. Then I thought of Mush. It broke my heart to know that I wouldn't see him anymore. I stared out the window and listened to Race tell the others what had happened to Kristi.
"...She was a real sweet goil, everybody loved her. Den she started showin' up wid bruises all ovah, and finally told Oscar dat her pop had been beatin' on her. Oscar threw a fit, den went ovah to her house. Her pop denied everything, den dat night, he went inta Kristi's room and..." I tried not to listen anymore because I knew what was coming. Kristi told Oscar the next day that her father had raped her, and Oscar told her to go home and pack. But when he went to pick her up, he found that her father had killed her.
I was crying steadily by now, but without making any sound. So, I heard when one of the newsies began walking towards me. I didn't move, assuming that it was Mush or Tracks to tell me to pack my things.
"Jessamyn, is dat youse?"
I jumped at the sound of my voice, and turned to face Snoddy. I tried to think of how he could possibly know my real name. All I could do was stare at him, and while I did so, suddenly his face seemed to change. He wasn't Snoddy anymore. Now, he was the smiling face that I had always turned to when I was hurting.
"ROB!!!" I screamed, flinging myself into my brothers outsretched arms. "My God, I didn't think I'd ever see you again!" I just sat there, letting Rob hold me for a long time, then I pulled away from him and jumped up, suddenly angry.
"Where were you? You just left me there with him! Why? I thought of all the people in that house, at least YOU cared!"
Rob jumped up. "Jessamyn, I DO care! I love you, you're my sista, fer cryin' out loud!"
I was crying again, trying to understand why Rob would have left me with Jack and Mike. I had been angry at Jack for too long, and was taking it out on my new-found brother. "You don't love me! If you did, you would've taken me with you! Do you know what he did to me? Do you have any idea what it's like to be locked in a tiny room 24 hours a day, knowing that the only thing to look forward to is a sunny day outside a tiny window? To know that every night, somebody would make sure to come by your room to hurt you and tell you how stupid you are? Do you have any idea? I LOVED you, Rob! I thought you loved me! I knew nobody else did cared about what happened to me, but I thought you were different!"
I fell to my knees on the floor, sobbing uncontrollably, as Spot had just the day before. Only there was no one to hold me while I cried. Or so I thought...
Suddenly, I felt someone kneel down beside me, and strong arms enfold me gently. "Gawd, Jessi, I's so sorry! I had no idea he was doing all dat to youse! If I'd known.... I was gonna come back fer ya, afta I'd found a place to stay and a job. I was only gone a week, den I went back to get you, but everything was gone, and da land lady said Jack an' Annabelle had moved. I tried ta find youse, but no one knew where he'd taken ya!" Now Rob was crying as well.
We had both forgotten about the other newsies, until Mush spoke up. "Okay. Now we know 'bout Trembles past. How are we gonna keep dis Jack guy from findin' her and hoitin' her? Cuz I still say, anyone dat hoits me goil is gonna get da soakin' of dere life!"
I looked up at Mush, completely amazed. "You...you mean you still like me? You still want me to be your girl?"
Mush came over to me quickly, and took Rob's place, with much grumbling from Rob. "Man! I just found me sista, and dere ya go takin' her away from me!" he said, smiling. He moved to let Mush next to me and stood by the other newsies. I could hear them hollering at him about finally finding me. Apparently, he had had his newsie friends looking for me for weeks after Jack moved us to Brooklyn.
Mush held me tightly for a long time. Then pulled back slightly. "I can't belive youse da same goil dat we's lookin' for for all dat time! Snoddy's sista! I can't believe it!" Mush smiled and shook his head. "Ya know da weird thing? Snoddy said dat we'd get along, if he evah found ya! And we did find ya and we DO get along!" I couldn't help but laugh at the huge smile on Mush's face, and hugged him fiercely. Mush returned the hug, so tight I could't breathe. When he finally let go, I pulled back from him, only to have him pull me back to him again. This time, it was not for a hug, but a kiss. I didn't pull back.
Mush's kiss was long and sweet, and I wished it could go on forever. But I gradually became aware of the fact that the other newsies were staring at us, begining to tease Mush wholeheartedly.
"Whoohoo! Go Mush! Look at dat!" Were just some of the things I could hear being thrown around the room. Finally, Blink stood up on one of the beds. "Hey Snoddy! Bet'cha didn't think Mush'd get along wid ya sista DAT well, did'ya?" The guys began to laugh quite loudly, some even rolling on the floor.
Finally, Mush had had enough. "Okay, okay! Youse guys have had yer fun! Me an my goil are goin' out on da roof ta tawk, and we DON'T want ya followin' us, got me?"
The guys nodded, and Mush led me outside and onto the roof. We sat up there in a corner for a long time talking. I told Mush about my life, and, after much prodding on Mush's part, everything I had been through with Jack. Then Mush told me about his family, and about the day that they were killed in a train wreck. We talked on and on, until we heard someone else come out on the roof and Rob's head stick up over the edge of the roof.
"Hey, sis! Ya gonna spend all yer time wid dat loser, or are ya gonna come tawk wid yer old brudda some?"
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