Chapter Two
Justin slept restlessly that night, waking often from nightmares. In them, he saw Dovelyn arguing with a man he couldn't see. His cousin looked angry at first, then frightened. He saw a large hand come down and strike Dovie's cheek, instantly making a black and blue print. Again and again the hand struck her, until finally she collapsed. The next scene was of a funeral. He saw only a dark wood casket, but heard weeping form all around him. Uneasily, Justin approached the satin-lined box and peered inside. He stared, horrified, at the figure inside--his cousin Dovelyn, or rather, a very pale and bruised version of her. Justin found himself unable to move or look away. Suddenly, Dovelyn's eyes opened. Justin gasped as he heard Dovie's voice all around him. "Help me Justin. Don't let me get lost. Don't let me fall."
Justin jerked awake, bathed in sweat. Before he could get himself oriented in the room, the door flew open and all four of his friends rushed into the room.
"Justin! Are you okay?" Joey asked.
"What?" Justin gasped, still terrified as his dream replayed in his mind. Lance turned on the lights and Justin blinked rapidly to focus. Chris and JC said down next to him.
"Curly?" Chris said softly, trying to get Justin's attention. "What happened?"
Still shaken and pale, Justin shook his head. "Nothing. I'm fine."
Joey shook his head. "You were screaming your head off, J. That's not nothing." Justin looked at his friends, and they all saw the fear in his eyes.
"Come on, man." Chris prodded. "Tell us, please."
Justin sighed. "It was just a bad dream guys. Everything's cool."
The guys weren't convinced. "If it's cool, then why do you still look so scared?" JC asked quietly.
Justin averted his gaze to the wall. "I'm scared because...� he trailed off, gathering his thoughts.
"Yeah Curly?" Joey prompted.
Justin's eyes brimmed with tears. They guys all looked at each other worriedly, knowing that if something made Justin cry, it was really bothering him. "I'm scared the dream will come true,� he admitted softly.
"Okay." JC replied. "Do you want to tell us what the dream was about?"
Justin took a deep breath and shuddered. "It's Dovie."
The guys all snapped to attention. "Dovie?" Lance whispered. "What about her?"
"I think she's in trouble."
Chris looked confused. "In trouble?" he echoed. "What kind of trouble? Why do you think that?"
Their friend sighed. "I think that the reason she was in the hospital last week is because her boyfriend beat her up." All four gasped as Justin took another deep breath. "I remember a letter my mom got from my Aunt Sam about a month ago. It said that Dovie's boyfriend was having major problems after being suspended from the football team for drinking. Aunt Sam said that she was worried that he would hurt Dovie. Last night when I went after her, I found her talking to Howie Dorough, telling him about her family. He asked her why she was in the hospital, but she wouldn't answer him. Since he didn't press her on it, I did. I remembered what Aunt Sam had written, and I called her on it. She denied it, of course, but I think that was mostly for Howie's benefit. I knew when I saw her face that I was right, and she knew it too."
The members of *N Sync looked at each other, concerned with the information their friend had just given them.
"My God." Chris said with his head in his hands. "Poor Dovie."
"Justin?" JC tried to bring the conversation back to what had caused Justin's horrified screams. "What did you dream?"
Justin grew pale and shuddered again. "I... I couldn't see him, just her. Just Dovie. I saw a hand come down and hit her, over and over; it wouldn't stop. Her face... It was all swollen and bruised. He just kept hitting her and I couldn't stop him!" Justin's voice rose as he remembered, and his tears fell freely down his cheeks. Chris and JC tried to comfort him, but he shoved them away.
"The next thing I remember is being in a dark room. There was a light at the very front of the room, shining down on an open coffin. The room was full of people, but I couldn't see anyone, I could only hear them crying. When I looked into the casket..." Justin's voice broke, and he began to sob. "It was Dovelyn! Her face was all bruised up, and she was so pale... Then her eyes opened. Her mouth didn't move, but I heard her voice all around me. She looked right at me and said, 'Help me Justin. Don't let me get lost. Don't let me fall'. That's when I woke up.�
His friends looked at him in shock, no knowing what to say. Justin glanced at them quickly. "I'm worried about her guys. I know that dream meant something; I can feel it. I don't know why, but I can't shake the feeling that something bad is going to happen to her."
Later that same morning, Dovelyn awoke with a smile on her face. She had finally met all five members of the BSB and had been able to have long talks with Howie, AJ, and Brian, as well as short ones with Nick and Kevin. Dovie found she had been correct in her perceptions of almost all of the boys. Her only surprise was in finding that Brian was much more of a jokester than she had originally thought he would be.
Humming to herself, she got dressed and went downstairs. To her surprise, she found Lynn and Paul in the living room, having a very serious discussion with all of *N Sync. Justin sat on one end of the large couch, with his mother on his right. On his left were JC and Chris, also sitting. Across the room, Paul sat in his recliner, and Joey sat perched in Lynn's usual chair. Lance stood in front of the stone fireplace. All seven looked very upset at something, and it was obvious that Justin had been crying.
Nervously, Dovie spoke. "Um, good morning?"
Lynn jumped up from the couch and quickly walked to her niece. She threw her arms around Dovie, and then gently led her to the couch. Justin shifted slightly, making room for her between himself and JC. She gingerly sat down, looking like she would try to jump up and run at any moment.
"What's going on?" she asked, frightened. She surveyed the room rapidly, her apprehension growing when she saw that even Paul was looking at her with pity.
"Dovie, sweetheart, I'm going to ask you a rather personal question, and I want an honest answer, all right?" Dovelyn swallowed and slowly nodded her head at her aunt. "Dove, why were you admitted to the hospital last week?"
Dovie stood quickly and tried to get to the stairs, but Paul beat her to them and took her back to the couch.
"Answer your aunt's question Dovelyn,� he said sternly.
Dovie hung her head, trying frantically to think of an excuse that was believable. While she was thinking, the other occupants of the room signaled to Paul to drop the bombshell and put their plan in action, to test their theory.
"All right, Dovelyn, if you don't want tell us, then I'll just ask Matt."
Her head shot up, fear and confusion evident in her eyes. "Matt?" she echoed, "but... How?"
"He called yesterday, while you were out. He's coming up to visit you. I presume you two will want to share your room for the duration of his stay?" Paul said casually.
"No!" Dovie almost yelled, startling everyone in the room, including herself. "I... I mean, I'm sure he won't mind staying in a hotel."
"Nonsense." Paul answered. "The party won't end until late, and it would be silly and ungenerous of us to make him drive to a hotel when his girlfriend is here."
"Party?" Dovie repeated dully.
"Of course. Matt thought it would be nice to celebrate your release from the hospital." Paul continued, trying to get her to a breaking point. "Now, normally, I don't condone alcohol in this house, but I think I'll make an exception this time, since everyone but Justin and Lance are of age. Of course, I'll take everyone's keys beforehand, so no one will try to drive drunk. You all can just stay the night over here." Paul was laying it on thick, and everyone could sense Dovelyn's fear. She said nothing, but the panicked look in her eyes gave her away. They all knew their fears had been confirmed.
"D?" Justin said softly. "Dovie, please look at me," he begged. Instead of defending Matt again, Dovie broke down. She knew she couldn't hide it from them anymore. She held her head in her hands and sobbed.
Slowly, Dovie's sobs quieted, and finally she stopped crying. She looked up at Justin, who had held her as she cried, then transferred her gaze to the other people in the room. Thankfully, Lynn and Paul had gone, so she was left only with her cousin and his friends.
"Justy?" she whispered, using her old nickname for him.
"Yeah, D?"
"I'm so tired. Can I go back to bed, please?"
Justin looked at her, worried. "Are you sure, D? You just got up." Dovie nodded slowly. She needed to be alone. "Okay, Dovie, if that's what you want, but we still need to talk about this."
"I know. I'll come find you when I'm ready."
Justin nodded as he watched his cousin get up and walk to the stairs. He frowned and turned back to his friends. "Well..." he began uncertainly.
JC let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. "Man, Curly, you were right. I just wish she'd told somebody what was going on sooner."
"Well, at least we know now." Joey commented. "We can keep her safe at least and make sure nothing else happens to her."
As the others voiced their agreement, Justin was again hit with the unshakable feeling that Dovelyn was not out of danger. He looked upwards for a moment and prayed that he would be there when she needed him.
When Dovie awoke, it was around two in the afternoon. She stretched, and then rolled over to face the other direction.
"Are you awake?" a soft voice asked suddenly.
Startled, Dovie rolled back over and was greeted by a serious-looking Justin. "Justy! What are you doing here?"
"Watching you sleep,� he said simply.
Dovie looked puzzled. "Why?" she asked. "Why aren't you out with your friends?"
Justin shrugged. "I wanted to be here when you woke up." He paused for a moment. "I've really missed you Dovelyn. I was looking forward to seeing you again so much, more than you know, but this isn't you. What happened to my cousin D? What happened to my best friend?" When he finished, both he and Dovelyn were near tears.
"What happened?" Dovie echoed bitterly. "What happened was that she killed her entire family! She killed her whole life, and her punishment is that she has to live here."
Justin stood, shocked at the venom in her voice. "Punishment? Living here is a punishment? That's a little harsh, D, don't you think? And you didn't kill your family. You were in the hospital for Pete's sake! It was an accident, nobody was to blame!"
"I was in the hospital because Matt and his buddies decided to get drunk. My mother told me to stop seeing him after she found out he'd hit me, but I didn't listen. I was being selfish, and I deserved everything I got that night. If I had listened to my mom, I wouldn't have been in the hospital in the first place. If I hadn't been there, they wouldn't have had to drive out to see me, and they would all still be alive. They're dead because I was selfish and wanted to go out for my birthday!" Dovelyn screamed.
Justin looked at his cousin sadly and understood. Her logic was completely jumbled, but he knew he couldn't change her mind. He decided to pursue her "punishment" theory. "And living here is a punishment because..."
Dovelyn rolled her eyes at him. "Because I hate being where I'm not wanted, and I can't do anything about it. I can't afford my own place, so I'm stuck here."
"Why do you think you're not wanted?" Justin shouted at her, frustrated. "We love you!"
"Sure, Justin." Dovelyn shot back bitterly. "That's why every night I hear Paul and Lynn fighting about my staying here. 'We don't owe her anything' 'she's old enough to live on her own' Oh, yeah, Justin, I'm really wanted."
Justin didn't have anything to say to that comment; he simply stared at her for a moment. "Tell me you're joking." he said flatly. Dovie just looked at him. "Geez!" he cried, getting up and beginning to pace. "I don't believe this. Is that why you've been acting so weird lately?" Dovelyn nodded slowly, and Justin sat back down and stared at his hands. "D, I am so sorry that you had to hear all that, and that you've been feeling unwanted around here. I'm sure that they didn't know you'd overheard them."
"That shouldn't matter, Justin. They said it. Whether I overheard or not shouldn't matter."
"I know." Justin looked at his cousin's tear-streaked face and wished he could do something for her. "You're right, it shouldn't matter. I just wish I knew what to do or say to make you feel better, to make you happy again."
She shook her head. "There's nothing anybody can do. Nothing will bring my parents back. Nothing will bring my brothers back. I just want to be left alone. Just leave me alone, please."
Justin did as she asked, but paused before shutting the door to her room. "I love you, Dovelyn. I want you to know that. If you ever need anything, even just someone to listen to you vent for a while, just call me."
Dovie's head shot up. "Call you?"
He nodded. "Yeah."
She looked confused. "I don't understand. Don't you live here?"
Justin smiled at her. "No, D. I moved out last year. I live with JC and Chris now. The number is on the fridge downstairs. See you later." He quietly shut the door and walked downstairs to go home.
Justin walked in the door and plopped down on the couch. He held his head in his hands, trying to decide what to do about Dovie. He hated seeing her upset and hurt, and he felt helpless to change anything. He couldn't believe that he mother would have been so careless discussing Dovie's living arrangements with her in earshot, but he didn't doubt that his cousin had in fact heard those awful comments. The look in her eyes, as well as his own gut instinct, told him she was not lying. He was still on the couch thinking when JC and Lance came in.
"J?" JC asked, concerned about his friend. "You all right?"
Justin didn't acknowledge his presence. He just continued to sit there, unmoving. JC glanced at Lance, who shrugged. The two then moved to sit next to their friend, and Justin finally spoke up when he felt them sit down.
"Hey."
"Justin? Do you want to talk about it?" Lance asked quietly. When he looked up, they were startled to see he'd been crying again.
"What's wrong? Is Dovie okay?" JC asked, worried.
"Yeah, she's okay, I guess." Justin answered sadly. "She's doing really well for a person who is convinced she is responsible for the deaths of her entire family and knows that she is not wanted in the home she's at now."
"What?" Both men gasped.
"Why on earth would she think those things?" JC asked.
Justin shrugged. "She thinks she killed her family because Matt convinced her that she is basically a horrible person. She thinks that she deserved the beatings Matt gave her and that her family died because she had been selfish in going to a party the night of her birthday." JC and Lance both shook their heads sadly.
"Why does she think she's not wanted at your mom's?" Lance asked.
Justin got up off the couch angrily. "She doesn't think that, Lance, she knows that. Apparently, she overheard--on more than one occasion--Mom and Paul fighting about her staying with them. Paul doesn't want her there, and he's been very vocal about it. I feel so bad for her guys. I wish you'd known her before all this. She was a completely different person back then. She laughed all the time, and goofed off with me. I remember one summer, just before I joined MMC, we decided to give our parents a concert. We got a bunch of tapes together, and sang along to them, and we charged our parents a quarter a piece to get in and hear us." Justin chuckled at the memory. "After the concert, Aunt Sam came up and gave us each five dollars. She told us to put it toward our "When We Made It Big" fund. She was always so supportive of Dovie and I. She was convinced that we'd be a famous singing team one day."
"Dovie sings?" Lance asked, surprised.
"She used to." Justin replied quietly. "I haven't heard her sing once since I left to join 'N Sync."
All three men were quiet for a moment, thinking about the immense difference in the girl Justin just described and the one they'd spent the evening with the previous night.
�Justin? If Paul didn't want her to live with them, why did he ask her to come?" JC asked.
"Beats me." Justin answered. "I think Mom felt that she owed it to Aunt Sam to take care of her. Especially since she had just gotten out of the hospital and all. I'm sure Paul agreed to it because Mom wanted it so much. She's always wanted a daughter, and now she kind of has one. The problem probably started when they realized that Dovie wasn't the same girl they'd seen at the family reunion a few years ago. They were remembering the same girl I was, and this one just isn't her."
JC was quiet for a long time. "Do you think Dovie would feel better if she weren't living with Paul?"
Justin shrugged. "I don't know, but she's already told me that she doesn't have enough money to live on her own."
JC glanced at Lance, who knew what he was thinking and nodded his head in agreement. "Well, I don't know about you or Chris, but I don't see why she couldn't just live with us. We have a spare room."
Justin looked up at his friend hopefully. "Really? You wouldn't mind a girl living with us?"
JC smiled. "No. You know I love Dovie like she's my own sister. I'd love to have her stay with us. I'm ninety percent sure Chris wouldn't mind either."
"You don't think he'd try hitting on her, do you?" Justin said warily. Lance and JC laughed.
"No." Lance answered. "He loves Dovie too, but like a sister. I can't imagine him trying to start a relationship with her." Justin laughed too. Then he stood up, eyes shining.
"Where ya going, Curly?" JC asked, already knowing the answer.
"I'm going to get my cousin!" Justin answered happily, grabbing his keys and walking out the door. Lance and JC heard his car start up and shook their heads, laughing. JC got himself together quickly and stood up.
"Well, Lance, since we're getting a new roommate, would you help me clean this pigsty up?"
"Sure." Lance answered, still laughing. Together, they managed to get the clean-up accomplished in twenty minutes.
Dovie was sitting in the upstairs bathroom alone, leaning up against the wall. She flinched as she heard the front door slam downstairs. She though back on the fight she and Paul had just had, trying to remember how it had even started. She had gone downstairs to get something to drink and had run into Paul in the hallway. The fight was probably her fault; she had probably smarted off to him in passing. She knew though, that he had followed her to the living room and started yelling. Lynn had stood off to the side, looking shocked and appalled at the words going back and forth between her husband and niece. Paul had told her that her family's death was her fault, causing Dovie to run up the stairs and lock herself into the bathroom. It was a few minutes later when she heard the front door slam. She quickly walked into the hall, where she saw Paul and Lynn pulling out of the driveway. She walked back to the bathroom slowly, leaving the door slightly ajar as she sat down. Fragments of conversation ran through her mind as she fought against the voices of Matt and Paul. �It's your fault they're gone', 'Maybe now you'll learn', 'You're worthless! Do you actually think anyone else could ever love you?'
Dovie felt tears fall from her eyes. Maybe they're right. She thought. Everyone would be better off if I weren't around. All I've done since coming here is upset people. With me gone, they can stop worrying about me and get on with their lives.
She raised her head, her tears drying as she made her decision. She was trying to find the best way when a flash of light caught her eye. Dovie smiled, realizing what it was. Her smile faded as she stood and picked it up gently. She carried it over to the tub, laying it on the side as she sat on the floor. She reached up and turned on the faucet, allowing a few inches of water to fill the bottom before turning it off again. Easy clean up. She thought.
With her right hand, she picked up the razor, laying it gently on the inside of her left wrist. She slightly applied pressure and gasped as the first wave of pain hit her. Then she watched, fascinated, as a few small drops of blood disappeared into the water. She adjusted her hold on the razor and prepared to finish what she'd started.
Chapter Three