This webpage is dedicated to our beloved Janitor Bill. But to understand Janitor Bill and his crazy life, you must first understand the circumstances leading up to his creation: It all started one weekend, long ago. Well, not that long ago... Over at the SOC All My Children message board, Peppermint Patty proposed that the posters "Write Our Own Storylines" for some weekend fun! The members of the forum had the famous residents of Pine Valley doing all sorts of crazy things (and people)! We discovered that the 'help,' i.e. Coral, Winifred and Stella, hung out at Erica's penthouse while she was a granny showgirl in Las Vegas, sipping drinks and bitching about their bosses. We learned that Dishy David and Zesty Zach had secrets concerning Maria.... they liked jumping on beds. We discovered that Anita cannot die, despite being shot at Tad and Simone's wedding, which, by the way, induced labor, and Simone had twins. Boyd Larrabee drugged Pine Valley's water supply with Gay-Quil, turning the whole town gay, yet making Bianca straight. Kendall and Greenlee ran off together, forgetting about Ryan, a.k.a. Six-Pack-Man. One of the greatest lines was Greenlee saying to Kendall: "And we fought over him in wedding dresses because?" .....*the sound of crickets*" Closely followed by Maria finally admitting to Edmund that she's having an affair with Zach, storming off, and Edmund jumping up out of his wheelchair and telling Brooke that the ball and chain was gone, to get over there and meet him in the bedroom. HA! Maddie and Sam have been SORASed, like Petey, who ripped right out of his clothes like the Incredible Hulk. JR, who was SORASed earlier, declared that he didn't really like Babe, cuz she's a girl, (LOL) and that he just wants a Power Ranger. In our virtual Pine Valley, Miranda was returned to Bianca, and in seeking revenge, Bianca plotted to get even with David by getting pregnant by him and never allowing him to see the baby, but that plan failed. Krystal, a.k.a KWAK, and Mary went on a slut-binge and infected the whole town with the KWAK clap, an std. There was a massive rush on penicillin. Meanwhile, Jeff Martin escaped from the attic, consulted Livia on suing his parents for neglect and a slew of other things, and then proceeded to date Dixie. They dropped Ruthie off at Wildwind, in the midst of the SORASing, and haven't been seen since. In comes our beloved Janitor Bill. One lonely night, Janitor Bill sent an anonymous e-mail to his crush, Greenlee DuPres. But it wasn't quite as anonymous as he'd hoped.... he forgot to hide his e-mail address! So Greenlee read the messaged signed "Your secret admirer," but the reply-to function said, "[email protected]". We're not really sure why the janitor gets a company e-mail account, but, well, this is Pine Valley, afterall. Lots of stuff happens there that would normally never happen! Like being able to get to the beach, to the forest, to the mountains, to the lake, to the hospital, to the University, to the finest (and not-so finest) hotels, all within five minutes! So, anyway, once Janitor Bill's infatuation was revealed, Greenlee, of course, rejected him. That didn't stop his fantasies, oh no! Janitor Bill has a thing for pirates, damsels in distress, and cheesy romances. He quite often pictures himself as the swashbuckling Captain Bill Rockhard, rescuing maiden Greenlee from Jack Sparrow. Janitor Bill lives in a trailer with his wife, Marissa, and their seventeen children. Well, now they live in his brother's trailer, since Marissa went crazy and blew theirs up. Janitor Bill has finally been able to account for all his children, four of which are the mean, nasty girls at PVH. They had a scare with huffing Enchantment Parfum and also the KWAK clap. Unbeknownst to our Janitor Bill, his "wife" is actually his sister-in-law, Marissa's twin (rich) sister, Mame. Mame kidnapped Marissa, hauled her off in a manure truck, and hid her in a well. Deciding trail park living was well below her, Mame masquerading as Marissa, spruced up the place, with man-servants and all! Janitor Bill has survived five deaths, and has had several quite touching eulogies. Meanwhile, Tad and Simone didn't really have time to settle in with their new family before a knock sounded at the Martin door. It was Dixie! With Tad's daughter, Ruthie. Dixie brought it to the new mother's attention that there were in fact two babies of opposite sex. Finally, after weeks, it seemed, Jake came to help out, and named the babies. The sweet little girl is Denise, and the boy is Denephew. Denny, for short. Erica had a conniption that Enchantment Parfum was being sold at Wal-Mart, but Greenlee blamed it on Kendall's upbringing. Simone has to pinch pennies, and feeds her friends scrambled eggs with hot dog circles. Someone is breaking into Wal-Marts all over and destroying the Enchantment displays. So much else has happened in our version of the truth, but sadly, our threads have been deleted five times. Come to the new message board and see what's happened since Virtual Pine Valley got a new ZIP code. Meanwhile.......