They are the men of the squared circle-this era's modern gladiators.
Each night the prepare for war, ready to engage in a titanic struggle
of good versus evil! No move is too vicious, no tactic too unscrupulous!
If only the whole thing wasn't a giant, pre-rehearshed, bogus, phony FAKE!
Anyway, here's MAD's look at...PRO WRESTLING BY THE NUMBERS
   
- Second biggest breasts in wrestling: Sunny
- First biggest: Yokozuna
   
- Number of white-frost birthday cakes shown on TV, in all the history
  of pro wrestling, that ever ended up being eaten and enjoyed by their
  intended parties: 0
   
- Number of times Ric Flair has said the word "Wooooo!" in interviews: 43,877
- Number of times Ric Flair has said the word "Bosnia-Herzegovina": 1
   
- The number of genuine NCAA college wrestling championships won with
  the following holds...
   
  Full Nelson: 14
  The Heart Punch: 0
  The Big Leg Drop: 0
  The Scorpion Death Lock: 0
   
- How long it would take Ahmed Johnson to coherently pronouce this
  14-word sentence: 5 weeks
   
- The number of times Vader has accidentally mixed up his jock strap
  with his leather mask: 4
   
- How many times the Ultimate Warrior has died so far, according to
  gibbering rumor-meisters on the internet: 234...no, 237...238...wait...
   
- Highest Wrestling Salary:
  #1 Hulk Hogan
  #2 Bret Hart
  #3 The guy who manufactures breakable tables and chairs

- How many symphonies Ludwig Von Beethoven would have written, if he had
  known that his 9th Symphony would be used to introduce HHH: 8
   
- The number of times WCW security has actually made things more secure: 0
   
- The number of times Gorilla Monsoon will see Halley's Comet (est.): 3
   
- The number of opponets destroyed by Hulk Hogan in his career: 137
- The number of film investors destroyed by Hulk Hogan with No Holds
  Barred, Suburban Commando, Santa With Muscles, and Mr. Nanny: 141
   
- How many states gave a plurality of votes to Mister Bob Backlund in
  the 1996 Presidental election: 0
- How many states gave a plurality to H. Ross Perot: 0
- How much money it would cost Perot to accomplish exactly as much as
  Backlund: $23,765,950
   
- The Percentage of people waving signs on Monday Night Nitro who own
  a spell-check: 14%
   
- How many different types of fluids you can expect to be splattered
  with, if you have ring-side seats at an ECW Show: 5