In one sentence: Affluent businessman is deceived in love when his fiancée unwittingly becomes part of a plot to extort his money.

In a page:

When it comes to running a successful corporate empire, Shere Khan is at the top of his game. The burgeoning metropolis of Cape Suzette is practically under his thumb. Making money has almost become too easy for him. Partly out of a need for change (call it "Shere boredom" or a mid-life crisis), he decides to take on a mentor. The university has been pressing him for years to join their program, where they help their business majors get a start by working under the tutelage of local business owners. So they send him one of their brightest-- Lila Elise Beckham (Elsie to childhood friends and family). Species: cougar

Lila is an ambitious pupil, who wins Khan’s respect for her devotion to learning business, her innovative ideas (successful, unlike Becky’s ;)) and her free and cheerful spirit. Soon, she also wins his love…

So they date and get on well at first, but Khan is a jealous lover, and Lila is very affectionate and flirtatious. Bad combination. A few of those guys that she was harmlessly flirting with disappear, and the town is aflame with gossip about their relationship (spread mostly by Broadcast Sally). It doesn’t help that Lila is extremely petite (read: tiny) and youthful; she looks like a child esp. next to Khan. Because of Khan’s possessive behavior, Lila feels a bit smothered, even fearful of him. She is about to call off their relationship—as soon as she gets the courage—when an ex-boyfriend calls her in trouble.

Eddie is the guy she never got over. The one that she knows is bad news but she still cannot say ‘No’ to him. Eddie has fallen into bad company. To put it lightly, a relation of Trader Moe is about to break his kneecaps unless he coughs up the money he owes them. He heard about ‘Elsie’s’ luck over the radio and he had to go to her for help.

Lila comes up with the money on her own, out of savings in her bank account, selling the furniture in her apartment and the expensive gifts Khan delights in giving her. Eddie is saved "for the time being", but TM (or maybe a guerilla group; I haven’t decided on this) is using him to extort money from her and (in turn) from Khan. So Lila puts off breaking her relationship with Khan despite her misgivings about him, and he becomes her crutch… a secret support in her time of trouble.

Khan loves her so much! But he has a disturbing dream, possibly recurring, where Lila is standing out on the ledge of Khan tower. Moonlight bathes her body, shimmers off her beautiful white dress; the mountains shine in the distance. He reaches out to her on the ledge and entreats her to come back to him. Her gaze is fearful and she softly utters the words: I’m sorry… before stepping off the ledge.

When he wakes, he realizes it’s a dream. He realizes that he is so in love with Lila that he carries her in his heart even in his dreams. (Not exactly after the dream) he asks Lila to marry him. Lila knows that Eddie is a dream to her—he will never ask her—and Khan has been good to her, despite his jealous, sadistic ways. Hey, she could do worse! And she accepts.

A near date is set for the wedding. A dress is picked out. Without Lila’s consent or knowledge, Khan has his will drawn up to make her the benefactor. Word of this gets around to wrong people. Lila is kidnapped and coerced into making an emergency call to Khan asking him to come to her apartment. It appears that Eddie is the mastermind who thought up the operation. When Lila learns their plan, she throws herself off the nearest mountain. Which is easy since they took her into the woods; actually, I’m debating on whether she does it on purpose or it’s an accident or she tries to runaway, but she’s about to be recaptured and it’s the only other option.

I’m fuzzy on the ending. Whether Khan escapes the trap at her apartment by luck or whether it is called off at the last moment since Lila died. There are some other things I haven’t touched upon. Her past relationship with Eddie. Her parents who actually kind of favor him. Also, I want her to have some sort of relationship with Rebecca, I think, not sure how well she relates to the whole H4H crew… I can picture her being friends with Plane Jane, her graceful friend. Am debating whether she gets wind that something is wrong with the whole Eddie situation… and leaves a note addressed to Khan in Rebecca’s safekeeping.

I’m certain of the characterization I want to give them (Khan and Lila), but the reason for them starting the relationship seems flimsy to me. Care to help?

Of course, Khan is broken up over her death. Angry that she didn’t love him as much as Eddie. I want to imply however that despite all of these conflicting emotions—love, hurt and anger—that he forgives her, and he still carries her fondly in his heart. Part of the reason I want the letter is to give Lila a chance to explain that she did love him.

Thoughts? Opinions? Contributions? Criticism? Comments? Needs to focus more on Khan surely. How? Please help me make this better. One of my goals, in writing this, is to surprise Gidget into liking a romance. Hey, there’s bad guys. It’s not happily ever after. Too bad it’s not B&B, but otherwise it’s fair material. That said, I’d like to keep this confidential. Till it’s done. If it gets done.

Thanks.

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Added 11/06- Obviously, I don’t care whether this is kept confidential or not seeing as how I’m posting it on a webpage. To Gidget, if she’s reading: Hi! J Hope you like romances.

I’m not married to the beginning; Lila and Shere meeting as part of a mentor program has a forced feel to it. IMO, it says loudly, "Hey, I made up this situation to force these two characters together." So, hopefully, I’ll be changing that as time goes on. Feel free to send me an email telling me what you think about it, how it could be improved. I love to bounce ideas off of other people. J