THREE KINGS
A film review by Steve Rhodes
Copyright 1999 Steve Rhodes
RATING (0 TO ****): ** 1/2
With lots of bullets that go zing, landmines that go boom, and vehicles
that explode into fireballs, THREE KINGS would seem to have all of the
ingredients, including a big name star (George Clooney), for a
traditional summer movie. That the studio has released the picture
instead in the fall, along with other Oscar hopefuls, shows that they
want us to view the picture as something significant.
Regardless of its hype and its respected writer/director, David O.
Russell (SPANKING THE MONKEY and FLIRTING WITH DISASTER), THREE KINGS is
really just a big-budget Hollywood action picture, filled with lots of
violence and explosions, masquerading as an art film. The film's showy
look, like that of a cheap motel television in which the color and the
brightness are turned to maximum, serves notice that THREE KINGS expects
to be taken as something more than just another shoot 'em up. With his
home movie-making proclivity for fast pans and zooms, the director
manages to keep the audience's attention, which is important since the
story frequently drifts aimlessly, getting lost in the desert as often
as the movie's protagonists.
Set on a day just after the end of the Gulf War, the plot is the age-old
one about gold and greed. During the end-of-war festivities among the
jubilant American troops, some of them are still on the job rounding up
the captives. One of the prisoners has a buried-treasure map partially
concealed in his anal passage. The map points to many bunkers, one of
which is said to contain Kuwaiti gold bars stolen by the Iraqis during
the occupation.
"This is a media war, and you better get on board," an angry Colonel
Horn (Mykelti Williamson) lectures Special Forces Captain Archie Gates
(Clooney). Two weeks from retirement, the Captain has made the mistake
of taking care of the wrong media person. When he was supposed to be
shepherding Adrianna Cruz (Nora Dunn) around the war sites, he was off
having sex with another reporter instead.
Adrianna, the story's only wholly comedic character, is not one to be
messed with. Never happier than when she's been captured by enemy
troops and can film the event, she reveals the secret to her success.
"I try to be substance based and not style based," she explains.
Still, she's a pest to have around so she is banished for most of the
movie, sent on a wild goose chase by the captain. Once the captain
hears of the gold, he doesn't want anyone to know that he and his three
companions are heading into enemy-controlled territory to steal it for
themselves. (If you've ever attempted to pick up a bar of gold, as I
have, you know how ludicrous this movie's version is. They clearly make
the bars about 10 times lighter than they are in order to make their
movement easier.)
Along with the captain on the adventure in the desert are the map's
finders, three reservists. Troy Barlow (Mark Wahlberg) is a Detroit
father who works in retail, Chief Elgin (Ice Cube) is a Detroit airport
baggage handler and Conrad Vig (Spike Jonze) is a redneck from Garland,
Texas. They are all ready to quit their day jobs in order to live a
life of luxury. All except Conrad, that is, who doesn't have a day job.
He wiles away his hours back home shooting guns at junked cars.
Like college kids at a Fourth of July party, they fire off their weapons
and listen to loud music as they buzz across the sand in a military
vehicle on their way to vast riches. The fly in the ointment is that
the seemingly heartless captain proves to have a hidden heart of gold.
Expecting a quick in-and-out job, they instead become embroiled in the
internal Iraqi politics of the pro- and anti-Saddam factions.
Along the way there are some funny moments mixed in with the gore that
is carefully designed to having every one in the audience grimacing.
Do we really need to see an inside, slow-motion view of the damage a
bullet can do to our internal organs?
The movie's funniest moment comes when one of the reservists gets
trapped and ends up rifling through a box of stolen cell phones.
Finally finding one with enough juice left in its battery, he attempts
to get the operator to connect him with "Desert Storm." She needs more
specifics, as in a number. He explains that it's "that big army in the
desert."
Although it's never a bad film, it rarely rises much above a typical
action one, even given its pretentious filming style. A movie in need
of pruning, it still provides good entertainment value. Go with low
expectations, and you'll be satisfied although perhaps not impressed.
And if you want to wait for video, the movie, with its "artistic"
imitation of a bad color television, will lose nothing when shown on a
smaller screen.
THREE KINGS runs 1:51. It is partially in Iraqi with English subtitles.
The film is rated R for graphic war violence, language and some
sexuality. It would be acceptable for teenagers only if they are older
and can handle horrific images.
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