Play It To The Bone

PLAY IT TO THE BONE
A film review by Steve Rhodes
Copyright 1999 Steve Rhodes
RATING (0 TO ****):  **

Writer/director Ron Shelton opens PLAY IT TO THE BONE with a long aerial shot of the famous pyramid. No, not one of those old run-down Egyptian pyramids but one of the fancy new hotels that dot the Las Vegas landscape, home to the lucrative sports of gambling and boxing. As the gaudy neon sign on the entrance to the city modestly proclaims, "Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada."

Probably intended partially as a comedy and partially as an indictment of the sport of boxing, the movie isn't much of either because of its badly underwritten script. "Somebody tell me why a Christian is getting laid, and a heathen like me isn't," is typical of its would-be funny lines. Shelton's non-subtle idea of a visual diatribe against professional fighting is to have two friends pulverize each other as the make-up department applies increasing amounts of fake blood.

The story starts when the fighters in the under card (that's the warm-up event) for the big Mike Tyson title fight in Las Vegas become unavailable. One of these second-string fighters has fried his brains on drugs, and the other has died in a car accident. The sleazy promoters turn to a couple of washed-up LA fighters to fill the bill, offering them $100,000 if they'll fly immediately to Las Vegas and fight that evening.

One of the fighters, the religiously-tattooed Vince Boudreau (Woody Harrelson), is an unconvincing, bible-carrying Christian, who regularly sees Jesus and likes to write "Jesus Saves" graffiti on bathroom walls. When Jesus appears, he looks like a hippie in white robes. After bouts of profanity, Vince likes to pray for forgiveness. Wild sex with strangers does not require any such remorse.

Vince's buddy, Caesar Dominguez (Antonio Banderas), says very funny things, but they are all in Spanish. At least the guy next to me thought that they were hilarious. Not able to comprehend Spanish, I can only comment on his English lines, which were singularly uninteresting. Caesar, we find, was once a homosexual for precisely a year, but he is vociferously not gay. This plot device allows Vince to ridicule him through most of the movie.

You might think that these down-on-their-luck guys would catch the first plane to Vegas, but you'd be wrong. In order to make the story into a road picture, Shelton has them hitch a ride with their common ex-girlfriend in her vintage, sea-grass green Oldsmobile 442. The three of them bicker as they go along the road.

Lolita Davidovich, an actress who has given few, if any, memorable performances in her career, plays their ex, Grace Pasic. Davidovich does provide the film's most impressive visual when she dons a shear, bright red dress that barely covers her body. She is cast as an inventor of items from sox to periscopes. She thinks she'll find venture capitalists in Sin City to bankroll her ideas. One potential investor, the owner of the lavish Mandalay hotel (Robert Wagner), likes her body but not her revolutionary idea for men's sox.

Also along for part of the ride is Lia (Lucy Alexis Liu), a wild woman interested only in drugs and sex. She gets plenty of the latter.

The movie culminates in a long fighting sequence in which Vince and Caesar pound each other until their faces resemble squashed tomatoes. The completely predicable conclusion seems like it will never end.

PLAY IT TO THE BONE runs 2:00. It is rated R for brutal ring violence, strong sexuality including dialogue, nudity, pervasive language and some drug content. The film would be acceptable for older teenagers.

Email: [email protected] Web: http://www.InternetReviews.com