END OF DAYS
A film review by Steve Rhodes
Copyright 1999 Steve Rhodes
RATING (0 TO ****): *
"There are forces at work here that you couldn't possibly understand!"
Father Kovak (Rod Steiger) loudly lectures Jericho Cane (Arnold
Schwarzenegger). No kidding!
And I thought STIGMATA was bad. Peter Hyams's over-the-top END OF DAYS
can best be thought of as STIGMATA's evil twin.
The story starts in 1979, as the Pope and his Cardinals are arguing over
a girl who will be born shortly at some unknown location in the world.
Most of the Cardinals want to find and kill her, but they are
temporarily overruled by the Holy Father, who wants instead to find and
protect her.
Cutting to New York City, we see her birth, after which servants of the
devil whisk the baby away. Graphically slicing open a live rattlesnake,
they sprinkle its blood over the baby, and they have the baby drink the
blood. Unfortunately, this is one of the more subtle scenes in a movie
that doesn't know when to stop. But we'll get to its excesses in a
minute. Suffice it to say that if members of the Catholic Church feel
that they have to picket a movie, this is the one to go for, not DOGMA,
which has been unjustly maligned.
The story quickly skips ahead two decades. It's now three days before
the millennium.
Yes, this is a millennium film. Think about it. Writer Andrew W.
Marlowe had the opportunity of a lifetime, and the best that he could
come up with is a hackneyed story about the Antichrist and the end of
the world. (For what could be done with a more intelligent approach,
see the recent and wonderfully imaginative character study, Don
McKellar's LAST NIGHT, about the world's end.)
I will not tell you the intricacies of the plot so that you can laugh at
it as I did. The only thing that makes the movie even partially
bearable is the humor, most of it unintentional. In an intelligent but
all too brief performance, Kevin Pollak plays Jericho's sidekick,
Chicago. He also delivers most of the truly funny lines. His best
comes after a bad experience with the forces of evil. "Well, it's
official," Chicago informs Jericho. "I'm not sleeping again." For all
of its gore -- and there's lots of it -- the movie isn't the least bit
frightening. It is, however, frequently gross and disgusting, not to
mention sacrilegious and amoral. But, the movie tries to argue that
"the devil made me do it." Its excesses, you see, aren't its fault.
It's just trying to depict evil.
Along with the baby and the blood scene, the movie has other satanical
delights. One mother commits incest with her daughter as they both lay
naked in bed. The devil is there too you see, and he made them do it.
A bunch of priests keep trying to kill the innocent girl, Christine York
(Robin Tunney), with whom the devil has chosen to mate. As they rattle
off the Last Rites, they try to murder her first in her own bed and
later by the altar in church. Again, it's not their fault, they are
killing to defeat the devil, played in a shockingly bad performance by
Gabriel Byrne. (The devil likes to mock God, as when he refers to the
Bible as "an overblown press kit." The cheesy dialog will have you
shaking your head.)
Wasting over a hundred million dollars, the director calls for lots of
explosions and special effect after special effect for no reason other
than the studio gave him too much money. Moviegoers who count their
enjoyment by the boom will be satisfied; others will be disappointed and
exhausted by it all. The film relentlessly beats you over the head with
the material. Only when it gets so ridiculous that it causes the
audience to laugh out loud does it break the tedium.
Arnold, Arnold, Arnold, what were you thinking when you signed on to do
this? Even if it has enough violence and gore to attract large
audiences, you are better than this.
"How do you expect to defeat me when you are but a man, and I am
forever?" Satan taunts Jericho. The ending, of course, is never really
in doubt, no matter how much bluster the devil manages. After all, he's
up against a superstar. And in the end, the story finds its own
redemption, arguing that it had deeply religious intentions all along.
Making audiences believe this will take a real miracle.
END OF DAYS runs 1:55. It is rated R for intense violence and gore, a
strong sex scene and language and would not be acceptable for those
under 17 or 18.
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Have I seen this movie: Yes
And what did I think: Ah-nuld returns to the big screen after a brief hiatus with End of Days, a God vs. Devil at the end of the Millenium story. This is similar to Stigmata because it has the same basic plot. This is a much darker movie for Schwarzenegger then anything we've seen him do in awhile. There's a lot of great action in this movie including a fabulous subway fight between Schwarzenegger and Satan who's played by Gabriel Byrne... who incidently plays a priest in Stigmata. I guess he wanted to try both sides out. The script is downright laughable at times, and thats what hurts the movie. Lots of religious mumbo jumbo and some crazy priests don't help much either. Also it will be outdated very soon too, since like most apocalyptic movies about the millenium, nothing really happens as we all know. There's not much on plot here, but it does have some decent effects so if you like to see things being blown up, then rent this at least.
I give End of Days 3 out of 5 stars
Review written May 7, 2000
