The Name Game

"What a fine life!" Blowin’ every nickel as it comes!" the newsies sang. It was Newsies Singing Hour. The newsies were all happy and dancing and singing. All of a sudden one of the newsies jumped off a stone wall and tried to do a flip imitating the one Pie Eater had just done. Since he didn’t have Pie Eater’s Macaroni Power, he ended up falling on top of Jack, who hit his head on the ground.

"Hey, are ya awright, dere?" the newsie asked sheepishly as he helped Jack up.

"Yeah, I’se awright," Jack said, rubbing his head.

"Sorry ‘bout dat, Jack," the newsie said.

"Me name’s not Jack! It’s Yum-Yum!" Jack said, bewildered.

Part 2

This newsie ran off to tell everybody else about Jack saying his name was "Yum-Yum."

"Sure, buddy. I’m sure Jack says ‘is name is ‘Yum-Yum,’" Race said. "‘Yum-Yum, fellas, can youse believe it?" Race said, looking around at his friends, who all laughed.

"Fine den," said the newsie. "Don’t listen ta me. But when Jack comes up ta ya an’ says, ‘Howdy, da name’s Yum-Yum!’ don’t come cryin’ ta me!"

Part 3

At noon, all the newsies met at Tibby’s. Jack walked in. "Ya mind if I sit wit’ you guys?" he asked.

"A’ course not," Blink said, and they made room for him.

"If I’se gonna sit here, I s’pose I should intr’duce myself," Jack said. He spit in his hand and stuck it out. "Da name’s Yum-Yum."

The guys all started laughing, but Mush, who had been studying Jack’s face very carefully, waved for them to be quiet. He could tell when Jack was making a joke, and he was definitely serious right now. "Um... my name’s Mush," he said. The other guys were all too shocked to follow Mush’s lead, so Mush continued. "An’ dis is Kid Blink, Race, Boots..." he introduced Jack... er... Yum-Yum to all the newsies.

"Nice ta meetcha," Yum-Yum said. "So... what’s good ta eat in dis joint?"

"Um... da knockwurst’s good," piped up Les.

"Da macaroni’s betta’!" added Pie Eater.

So Jack ordered a knockwurst and some macaroni and decided for himself that it was really good if he put the knockwurst IN the macaroni, and that was the first time anyone ever put any kind of meat in macaroni.

Part 4

As soon as Yum-Yum/Jack left Tibby’s, the other newsies decided to go see Spot, because they were sure he could figure out what to do with Yum-Yum. After all, he had brains, and more than just half of one!

They ran all the way to Brooklyn, because it was an emergency, but they had to take time to yell off the Brooklyn Bridge first. "Whoooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" they yelled, leaning forward. They listened to the echo-type thingy, and then continued running.

"Spot! Spot! There’s been an accident!" they all yelled.

"I know. A little boydee whispered it in my ear," he said. He was all ready to go. As they ran back to Manhattan, Spot explained that the only way he could think of to make Jack be Jack again was to hit him on the head again. "Da trick is gonna be ta hit him when he’s least ‘spectin’ it," Spot finished.

Part 5

The next morning when Yum-Yum went to by his papers from Weasel. The only problem was that Weasel fell over laughing when he heard he heard Jack call himself "Yum-Yum", and Oscar thought he was having a heart attack. So Oscar ran out into the street yelling, "Heeeeeeelp! Weasel, he’s dyin’!" At the same time, Morris decided he had better get Jack his papes. Even if he was calling himself Yum-Yum, he could still beat the living schmuck out of him. So Morris tried to count out a hundred papes, but he couldn’t count that high with his shoes on, so he took them off, and then he realized that still wasn’t enough, so he started using Weasel’s fingers. That STILL wasn’t enough, so he took off Weasel’s shoes, and Yum-Yum had to stand there for at least twenty minutes while Morris tried to figure out how many a hundred is.

That left the perfect opportunity for the guys to try to restore Jack’s usual identity. Spot came flying down from the balcony-type thing on a rope, yelling like Tarzan. He was going to hit Jack in the head as he flew by, but he missed, and he was so surprised at missing that he lost his grip and fell on his back. Spot wasn’t about to give up, and he was mad that his plan had failed. He started chasing Yum- Yum around, swinging at Jack’s head with his walking stick. "Get back here! I’se gotta hit ya, or else you’se gonna be Yum-Yum foreva’! Jaaaaack! I mean, Yum-Yuuuuuuuuum!" he called as they ran off down the street.

The rest of the guys went back to the Lodgin’ House. They needed a plan, and quick. Who else could help them? "I’ve got it!" Specs yelled. He put his hand up to his ear like a telephone. There was a dial tone, so he started dialing.

"Who ya gonna call?" Blink asked.

Suddenly someone kicked open the door and there was a group of guys standing in the room with gray work-suits on. They had some sort of weird vacuum-cleaner type contraptions. "Ghost Busters!" the men yelled.

"The Ghost Busters? I can’t believe you’re really here! I’m your biggest fan! Can I have an autograph?" Mush yelled, running up to the Ghost Busters. Suddenly he was attacked by a slimy green thing.

"Don’t mind him. He’s a GOOD ghost," one of the Ghost Busters told him.

"G-g-ghost?!" Mush yelled, and dived under one of the bunks.

"Who’s afraid of that ghost?" chanted someone in the background, and some funky music started.

"It’s our theme song!" yelled the Ghost Busters. "Let’s dance!" And so everybody in the whole room started dancing, even Mush, who had made friends with the slimy green ghost.

Part 6

"Guys! What are you doing? Everybody... just remain calm!" yelled Davy, bursting in the door. "You’re not being sensible enough! You need a plan to get Jack back to his normal self!"

Just then Robin ran in and said, "Holy guacamole, Batman! Stop being so uptight!"

"Aaaargh! I’m not Batman!" Davy yelled, and ran out of the room.

Suddenly everyone realized they were hungry, so they moved the whole party to Tibby’s, where they had Crutchy’s Special Sauerkraut, Pie Eater’s World-Famous Macaroni, and of course, knockwurst.

It wasn’t until Jack walked in that they realized they still didn’t have a plan. So someone threw a big ruby-red cloth over his head, while a couple other people beat him over the head with knockwursts. When they pulled the red cloth off of him, he said, "¡Hola! ¡Me llamo Jack!"

The newsies all looked at each other, and then started beating each other over the head with knockwursts, arguing about whose fault it was.

"Guys! I was jus’ practicin’ my Spanish! If I move ta Santa Fe someday, it might be useful ta know!" Jack yelled, calming everybody down. The World felt the fire and finally knew that things were back to normal.

THE END!!

**Back to Beth's Bombos Fanfiction**
You are cool dude number to visit this webpage since 3/25/99 at 11:14 AM.