Disclaimer: The characters, Melissa Scully, Dana Scully, Margaret Scully, Fox Mulder, and the rest do not belong to me, they belong to Chris Carter. Title: Melissa's Blown Away Rating: Couldn't imagine it being more than PG-13 or rated R for language and suggestive sexual situations. Pretty mild though. I leave the real imagination up to the readers. E-mail Address: I love comments if they're positive of course, so please, e-mail me at Para8Dice@AOL.Com. Thank you. Spoilers: Paper Clip, Blessing Way, Anasazi, and One Breath Comments: Someday, I hope to be as wonderful a fan fiction writer as these people that are my favorites. Shalimar, Sheryl Martin, D.A. Prewitt, Leyla Harrison, Crash and Ten, and Paula Graves. They all write incredible stories. There are so many wonderful writers out there, and it is so wonderful that the internet can help you see people's work that you otherwise never would have. Thanks to: Chris Carter, for creating this wonderful show even if he keeps killing off stars. Gillian Anderson, who is the best actress ever for playing Dana Scully and any other role. Melinda McGraw for portraying Melissa Scully. She made Melissa interesting, and even a pain sometimes, but I have always loved Melissa and I pray that she comes back alive some time. Sheila Larken as Margaret Scully, the sweetest and kindest mother I've ever seen on television. I'd like to thank David and Gillian as the oddest couple for creating more sexual tension than has ever been on any other show. Summary: A during and post Paper Clip story revolving around Scully losing her sister and Mulder losing his father. They cope with each other's support and finally let themselves see each other in a different way. Melissa's Blown Away Margaret Scully burst through the hospital doors. She rushed over to the first doctor she saw. "A, my daughter was brought in..." "Okay all right, what's her name?" "A Scully, Dana Scully." "Melissa Scully?" "No," she paused, horrified. "That's her sister," Margaret said as she realized it was her other daughter in critical condition. "Well we just had a Melissa Scully in surgery with a cranial gun shot wound." XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX She walked into Melissa's room. Her body was completely bandaged. She could barely tell it was her beautiful daughter. Melissa. Where was Dana? Dana... "Missy? It's Mom," Margaret said through tears. "They took drastic precautionary measures due to the nature of her head wound. We've endused coma, to try to relieve the trauma on her brain." "Is she gonna be okay," Maggie Scully asked praying for just one word. One good word. "We've done everything we can right now. We'll be monitoring her around the clock." A tear fell down Margaret Scully's cheek as she shivered with fear. "Nurse, why don't we get Mrs. Scully a comfortable chair." She didn't want to hear these words. Who gives a damn about a chair. Only one thing mattered. All she wanted to hear was, "Your daughter's going to be fine," but those words never came out of the doctor's mouth. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Langly, Byers, and Frohike's Residence Dana Katherine Scully, Fox William Mulder, Langly and Byers all stood together as Frohike came through the room to embrace his thought to be deceased best friend, Mulder. He looked towards Scully and knew she didn't know what had happened. He didn't want to hurt her, but he knew he had to tell her. He'd never met Melissa Scully, but Mulder had shared with him experiences about her. "Agent Scully," he said cautiously. "What? What is it?" "Your sister's in critical condition." She said nothing, but rushed right out of the room in guilt, fear, and angst. Her sister. Her only sister...lying in a hospital bed dying when the bullet was meant for her. Mulder knew exactly where Scully was going to go. He rushed out of the room following her down flights of stairs telling her to wait. He finally touched her as her eyes were wet with tears. "I have to go there Mulder!" "You can't go..." "That bullet was meant for me!" "If they're trying to kill you that's the first place they're gonna look." "Those bastards..." ______________________________________________________________________________ Melissa Scully's Hospital Bedroom "I'm here to see Melissa Scully." Margaret Scully opened her eyes to see a tall, elegant man. "My name is Walter Skinner. I'm an Assistant Director at the FBI." Margaret Scully put her magazine down. She was angry. "I'm very sorry about your daughter," he said sincerely. "Dana asked me to come her and deliver a message," she hoped she'd heard him right. "You've been in contact with her," Maggie asked. "Yes." "Well I wanna know where she is, and if she's okay," as she stood up. "She's okay. She's in a very serious situation which prevents her from being here." Now she was getting impacient. She needed her baby girl. She needed Dana to help her get through this. She needed Dana to help Melissa. She needed both her daughters and she was unable to reach either one. "What kind of situation?" "One we hope to reverse so that Dana can come back to work." ______________________________________________________________________________ Melissa Scully's Hospital Room 4:29 PM Dana Scully burst through the hospital bedroom. There she was. Her sister. The machines, the bandages, the IVs, it was all there. She never thought in her life she'd see Melissa in a hospital. She knew how Melissa had always hated hospitals. Always. Melissa believed they were a place to hide dying people. But if there was any justice in the world, Melissa would be fine. Dana looked at the right side of the room and saw her mother, asleep in the chair. She rushed over to her mother's side. "Mom." Margaret Scully's eyes opened the same moment Dana spoke. "Dana," Margaret grabbed her daughter and hugged her. "Oh Dana. It looks bad. She's...she might not make it." "Yes she will Mom. Mom, she has to. Don't give up hope." "I haven't, I never gave up hope on either of you...but Dana they have. They've given up hope that she'll survive." "No, NO!" Dana's eyes filled with tears. Her vision was blurred from the wetness. Tears spilled over her eye lids and quickly fell down her face like a candle's wax being melted. The drops were so bright Dana glowed like a pearl, but she felt like her heart was being taken from her. Margaret pulled her daughter once again into her arms. Dana shivered in her mother's arms. "Dana, when you almost died, Melissa thought of what you wanted first. I had thought about keeping you on life support if there was one...any chance of you surviving. She didn't. She respected you. She forced Fox and me to let you go, and we have to respect what she wants." "Mom stop. She's not going to die. She'll be fine. Let me go talk to the doctors, I'll take care of her..." The beeping started. Her blood pressure was rising. Melissa was dying. Melissa's heart had stopped. No. The doctors filtered into the room. They removed Margaret Scully. Margaret knew it was over. No matter how much she wanted to deny it, she knew this was the last time she'd ever see her daughter. Tears dripped down her face. The doctors grabbed Dana's arms as she moved closer to her sister. They tried to intervene her from her sister, but Dana argued. "I'm a doctor. Let me help her. Stop it. Let go of me. Please!" Dana broke free for an instance, and ran over to her sister's dying body. She bent down to her. "Missy, listen to me, don't you leave me. Don't you leave me! Fight! Survive." She turned back to the doctors as they grabbed her arms escorting her out and surrounded her sister. Before she could help them save her sister's life, they removed her. Tears flowed down Scully's face as she stood by her mother's side watching them with her sister. She was crying silently. Dana watched the EEG. Her blood pressure was rising. She went into surgery and the damage to her brain was too much. There was nothing they could do. The doctor slowly came out of room, and Dana and Margaret both knew what they were going to hear. Even though the doctor's words were expected, Margaret Scully lost her balance, weakened from her standing position, and Dana supported her mother. Dana kept her mother standing as Margaret Scully's dreams disappeared. Dana looked into the room as the doctor was still talking, and saw her sister's lifeless body. She knew now what her mother had felt when she herself was dying in a coma. Damn those bastards. Damn Mulder, damn Skinner, damn this...this thing that keeps tearing my family apart. Damn the whole world. Damn me! Dana Scully released her mother, in tears that devoured her completely, as she placed her hands on the glass window looking at Melissa. Her sister. Her big sister, gone. She remembered the last time she ever heard Melissa's voice. Melissa was on the phone with her, planning to come over to her apartment to chat. Like sisters. Like friends. Melissa was surely going to drive her crazy about getting in touch with her inner self and quit shutting out the world. Dana's eyes and silent sobbing clouded up the window she pressed her face and hands against. She wondered so many things. ______________________________________________________________________________ Melissa Scully's Hospital Room 7:31 PM Dana looked at the empty room. Melissa was still in it, but she had already left her body. Dana was spending a while with her before they took her. Three hours ago her sister drifted off into another world. Her sister had died and it was supposed to be Dana's life that was destroyed. Her sister had nothing to do with this mess "Scully" had gotten herself into. She touched her sister's hand after she'd passed away, and she felt love from her sister's dead body crawl into her skin and reach her heart. It was impossible, but Dana liked to think that Melissa was right there watching her, always with her. Melissa was so weird! Dana had known that forever though. How could two people who grew up together, in the same room be so different. The fights they'd gotten into. Just as much as Melissa relied on faith, Dana relied on science and logic. Dana had no place saying Melissa was unreasonable and believed in too much. Dana hardly believed in anything that couldn't be proven. Dana Scully refused to believe in a lie. She also refused to believe in the opposite of what she was able to prove. ______________________________________________________________________________ June 21st, 1979 Bill and Margaret Scully's Residence Melissa and Dana's Room 6:45 PM Dana, standing in front of the body length mirror was proud of what she looked like. She'd grown her hair out long, like Melissa's. She was wearing a short, tight skirt. It was velvet blue. A beautiful blue that matched her eyes. She was so excited. She was fourteen years old and going to a party with her sister. A party with her sister's friends. However, she was so close to her sister, that her sister's friends were all people she knew. She always knew that Melissa would steal most of the attention, but Melissa loved Dana and was going to be there for her. No matter what happened. Melissa knew how to use what she had. She was like Erica Kane. Born knowing how to use what she had. Dana often envied her. Melissa got all the boyfriends, all the attention, and never seemed to fail in getting exactly what she wanted. Melissa then entered her room to see Dana looking in the mirror. Dana's hair had extreme volume and it was shining. Dana looked absolutely beautiful. Her nails had been painted a shimmery white, and her make up was subtle and glowing. Her hair was parted in the center, and hung loosely around her shoulders looking wavy and soft. Melissa walked over to her sister and hugged her. Although she was only two years older than her baby sister, she had far more experience in most things. She wanted to look out for her sister, and take care of her. She had talked her parents into letting them go to an end of the year party. Finally. Melissa looked in the mirror. She was wearing a velvet red dress that had a V-neck. It was very soft and sexy. Melissa's hair was blow dried and wild. That was Missy's style. The dress came down and ended just above her knees. She'd helped Dana with her nails and make up, and felt confident that Dana would be noticed. Anyone with brains would fall into Dana's huge blue green eyes. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Car Ride to Party 7:02 PM "Now Dana, don't you worry about anything. If you see the guy you like, let him come to you. When he does, be talking with another guy, or girl if necessary, and make sure you don't let him on that you've been waiting for him. Make him come to you. Have the self esteem to know that he'd be lucky to even put his arm around you." Melissa stepped out of the car and helped Dana. She placed her arms around Dana and walked up to the front door with her. Knowing Melissa would be there the whole time was comforting to Dana. Her sister was always her life savor. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 9:13 PM Dana talked to a few people, but was gradually getting bored. Melissa was on the other side of the room, completely in Dana's view, talking and laughing with her friends. Dana wished she had the spark Missy did to get out in the world and have some fun. She watched her sister, and hoped that someday she could be like her. Dana turned to see him. James. The guy she'd been praying would like her back. Sure, he was Missy's age, but she still craved his attention. Only a two year difference, that was hardly anything. He looked so good. His shiny black hair, his sexy brown bedroom eyes, Dana shivered as he walked towards her. Not a hello, but a hug. He took Dana into his arms and hugged her. He released her and had small talk conversation. She felt like she was melting away. She didn't care about anything else. She had a crush on James. She wanted him to like her the way she like him. It was possibly a fantasy, but so far so good. "You here with Melissa?" Dana's heart sank. In the past, he'd liked Melissa, but she had no interest in him what so ever. She tried to avoid him now as often as possible. The last thing Dana wanted was to be in second place, after her sister. She loved her sister, but she was tired of every guy she liked being in love with her sister. "No," she lied. "She's here somewhere, but I'm here with myself." He nodded his head. She drowned in his eyes. She was knew at liking guys this much. He smiled and her heart was gone. Missy had liked guys for so long, but Dana had waited. Every crush she had became more and more intense. This one was certainly no exception. He took her hand and lead her upstairs. No one had ever taken her anywhere, and what she wanted most was for her to be the only thing on his mind. Him to like her. Just her. His hand was so soft. He opened a door to room with a sofa. He shut the door behind her and locked it. Before she could have any reaction, his lips were on hers. He put his hand on her waist and bent her back ever so slightly. His lips were so soft, she hadn't really expected that. She'd been kissed before, but that was usually dares or a short quick kiss good night. Now she felt like she was the center of attention, and he really cared for her. She felt so honored that he was kissing her. But then suddenly, it changed. His grip around her waist became tighter and she was feeling more uncomfortable the closer he got to her. He wasn't the fantasy she'd imagined. This wasn't the wonderful guy she'd had a crush on. His grip was tighter, his kisses were more demanding. His hands were not gentle and loving, but angry and demanding. His hands moved up to her shoulders and she shivered. His hands pulled down the straps of her shirt, and she felt sick to her stomach. She struggled and pulled away from his reach. She felt terribly powerless. "No," she said. He came right back over to where she was standing and kissed again. Deeply. He was practically finding his way inside her heart, pressing all the happiness out of it and filling it with fear and pain. She felt used. She pushed him away from her again, this time harder and said no more firmly. He didn't listen. He scared her. It was as if nothing she said meant anything. There wasn't much of a chance of calling for help, the music was so loud it was shaking the floor they were standing on. His tongue poured into her mouth as she clenched her fists into his chest disgusted and trying to get him off of her. She said no but her words were barely heard because of the pressure of his mouth on hers. She was getting more desperate as his hands moved up and down her body. Pressing harshly against her soft delicate skin. His hands dug into her flesh and hurt her deeply. She would've moaned in pain had his mouth not been blocking her from speech. She reached her hands behind him and grabbed a hand full of his hair and pulled it away from her. He screamed in pain and she let go and ran. She ran to the door, knowing it was locked, but praying it wouldn't be. He walked back towards her, as she screamed for him to not touch her. She begged for the key but he didn't care. He grabbed her and kissed her. She screamed and pounded on the door... XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 10:02 PM Melissa, laughed with a group of her friends, while smoking a cigarette. She was only smoking one, barely, however her friends had smoked three or four. She liked trying new things, but didn't let them be a part of who she was. She never wanted anyone or anything to create the type of person she was. She was who she was, regardless of the rest of the world. As she laughed and inhaled another breath, she looked around with drugged eyes and realized that she hadn't seen Dana in a while. She at first didn't worry, but then remembered an experience she had that she'd never told anyone. And she feared that Dana might be going through the same thing. Melissa excused herself from the group and looked around for Dana. The more rooms she looked in and didn't find her sister, the more nervous she became. She was supposed to be protecting her sister, not ditching her in the presence of God knows whom. Melissa had searched the basement and middle floor. The only one left was the top, and Melissa prayed Dana wasn't up there. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 10:27 PM As Dana screamed praying someone would hear her, James grabbed her harshly, digging his fingers into her skin causing bruises, and threw her on the floor. She tried to squirm up and away from him. In an instant he was on top of her, forcing her clothes off her body, ripping them in the process. Dana's heart had been taken from her body, and she was disgusted watching him violate her this way. She was looking at him, not just feeling him. When Dana thought there was no more hope, a loud knock was on the door. "DANA!" Dana screamed Melissa's name in fright. "Dana, what's going on?" "Missy, help me, he's trying to rape me!" Melissa ran her body into the door, trying to open it. What kind of sick bastard does this? Rapes young women. The door was getting weaker, but not fast enough. Melissa prayed she wouldn't be too late to help her sister. "You goddamn son of a BITCH! If you hurt her I swear I'll kill you," Melissa screamed pounding on the door, knowing who it was. Finally, the door broke open. James looked behind him as Melissa stared afraid at her half naked sister and the bastard who had done the same thing to her. James grabbed his shirt and stood up. Melissa ran to Dana and hugged her. "I'm so sorry. It's okay now, it's all over Dana. Dana, it's all over now. I'm gonna get you out of here and you'll be safe." Melissa helped Dana clothe herself. She walked over to James who had a rueful grin on his face. He grabbed her hand and kissed it. She shook her hand free with disgust and hit him. Hit him again with all her might. "You fucking ass-hole. How could you do that to my sister? I don't care anymore what you did to me, but how could you do that to her? Was this your revenge at me? How could you do that?" Melissa looked back at Dana, fear in her eyes. Her face was streaked with tears and drained mascara. Dana was shivering. Melissa began to cry, then pulled herself back, determined not to let this bastard win. She grabbed his shirt and pulled him towards her. "If you ever, and I mean ever come near my sister or me again, I will tear off every appendage of your body. You are sick and you need help." Melissa made a fist and punched him in the stomach. "I love it when you get angry Melissa," he said through a laugh. Melissa wanted to throw up herself. She chose to ignore him, she couldn't change him with another wack across his face. Why the hell didn't she know he was gonna be here? Dammit. She walked over to Dana, held her, and supported her as they walked out together, both trying to fight off tears. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Melissa sat Dana down in the car, after ignoring all the questions from the other guests. She told them some great lie. A great Melissa lie. She then got in the driver's seat, beat her hands into the steering wheel. She exhaled. She hated herself. She turned to Dana. Dana was staring straight ahead with an expressionless face. Melissa pressed the accelerator to the floor and rolled all the windows down to embrace the warm air. She drove a little ways, shaking her head and silently cursing herself. She didn't look at Dana, for she knew Dana didn't like to be pitied. Melissa didn't want to pity her exactly, she wanted to tell Dana what a pig she was for allowing this to happen to her baby sister. A fourteen year old was no longer a baby, but Dana would always be Melissa's baby sister. She pulled over the side of the road and stopped the car. Dana still didn't move. Melissa unbuckled her seat belt and faced in sister. She grabbed a towel out of the back seat and wiped the tears off of Dana's face. Blood dripped out of Dana's nose and Melissa aided her. Dana barely noticed, but Melissa had her hold the towel to her nose. Melissa had never felt worse. "You're gonna be okay Dana." Dana didn't speak. "Dana, this was not your fault." Dana shook slightly. Melissa turned Dana towards her and shook her gently. "Talk to me Dana!" "What did you mean when you said 'revenge'?" Melissa sighed. "It doesn't matter. What matters is you getting cleaned up and feeling better." "It does matter Melissa. Did you know he was like this? He did it to you didn't he? Why didn't you tell me?" "Dana, if for a second I suspected that it was him whom you had a crush on, I would've told you what he was like. I didn't because I felt there was no need. I had no reason to believe he would be at the party, or that he was the one you liked. I can't tell you how sorry I am, but I can only try to help you learn from my mistakes." "It was so revolting." "Dana, it was not your fault. You didn't ask to be harassed or abused. Mentally or physically." "I shouldn't have gone upstairs with him. I never thought it would turn out that way. I'd seen him kiss so many girls, I wanted to be one. That was stupid of me." "He shouldn't have touched after the first time you said no." "I wasn't firm enough." Melissa grabbed her sister roughly and faced her. Missy's face was angry. "It wasn't you, your voice, your hair, you dress, or nothing else. You told him no. I don't care if you walked around kissing every guy there while you were naked, you told him no." "I wanted him to kiss me." "No darling. You wanted your crush to kiss you. Not that low life coward who can't get a girl and enjoy her unless by force. None of this was your fault. None. You didn't ask for this. You didn't deserve this." Melissa was amazed by her own words. If someone had told her this when it happened to her, she would've been so grateful. But she'd kept it to herself for so long that it had become a part of who she was. If only someone had cared. She known someone would've, but she didn't have the courage to tell anyone, for she thought too it was her fault. Seeing it through Dana, made her come to grips with what had happened and forgive herself. "I feel so dirty," Dana said in a whisper. Melissa pulled her sister into her arms and held her. "Let it out baby, let it go." ______________________________________________________________________________ Melissa Scully's Hospital Room 8:54 PM Dana hadn't noticed the tears that had fallen down her face from that awful memory of James attacking her. Somehow, she felt that no matter how careful she was, she was always getting into trouble. Being an adult hadn't changed that much. Now Melissa was paying for it. And her mother. Bill and Charles would be at the funeral, but neither one of them ever had much contact with either of their sisters anymore. It was as if they didn't have them. Just a distant name that you once a year send a Christmas card to. At least Charles. Dana hated to admit it, but seeing her brother Bill wasn't exactly top on her list of things she wanted to do. He was always so scientific, like her in a way, and so...boring. Sure, she loved him, but if he wasn't her brother, she wouldn't exactly be friends with him. He was sort of shallow, and he truly believed that his thoughts and opinions were the only ones anyone else should have. He didn't respect people. He was kinda sexist, and just not a joyful person whose family means so much to him. Dana couldn't wait to hear the big speech about how Dana should've been more careful with Melissa's life. Yeah right. Dana stood up, wiped the tears from her face and walked over to her sister's body. She placed a hand over her sisters, it was cold. Cold, lifeless, lonely. This was no longer her sister. Her sister was gone because of her stupidity. Damn it. "Missy..." she said softly through a torn heart. "I love you and I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. You'll never know how sorry I am. Mom and I will miss you so much. Sis, give Dad a hug for me, and tell him that I hope he's proud of me. "I remember when I was fourteen and in my freshman year at high school, the cool thing to do was to give a flower to your crush before the dance. I wanted one from Matt Zane, and he gave his to Hayley Shields. I was still a pretty big geek. As I watched people receiving flowers and getting kisses from their loved ones, I envied everyone. I even saw you in the hall way flirting with your boyfriend at the time. I think his name was Nick Harrison. "Anyway by the last class I felt as if everyone around me was getting a flower, and I was embarrassed that all the girls that were my friends had one, and I didn't. But then, I looked on my desk and there was a rose. A pink rose with a letter. The letter said uh... "This is pink because red to me means in love, but this is a deeper love. My baby sister, my angel. You are the greatest love I've ever had and no matter what anyone says, you are star. I admire you. You're talented, and beautiful, and smart, and fun. Don't worry, you'll catch up. I love you." "And I remember how much I cried at that. You know, it might not have been from whom I wanted it to be from. Matt...but now looking back, by the next year I barely remembered his name. I got a flower from the person who really counted. You. And I know that you don't want me to cry. You want me to believe that you're in touch with your inner self and there's no more pain or tears where you are. But it still hurts. I need you. You're my big sister. I can hear you speaking those words to me now. 'You'll catch up'. I know, I'll catch up again. Wait for me Missy." ______________________________________________________________________________ Melissa Scully's Hospital Bedroom 10:29 PM Dana sat, looking at the empty room. They'd taken Melissa. She was never going to see her sister alive again. Damn those bastards. Dana was still. She had nothing more to give. She had nothing more she wanted to feel. She heard footsteps. She turned to see Mulder's face. He knew. "It happened three hours ago," Scully said as she looked back at the empty bed. "She went into surgery...the damage to her brain was worse than they had hoped. Her blood pressure started to rise and a...she slipped away." Mulder placed his hand on hers as if she were going to break. She sure felt like she would. "She died for me. I tried to tell her I was sorry but I don't think she'll ever really know..." "Oh she knows. Melissa knows." "You were right...there is no justice." "I don't think this about justice Scully-" "Then what is it about?" "I think it's about something we have no personal choice in. I think it's about fate. Skinner told me that he talked to you. That you were insistent about coming back to work. Now if Melissa's death is-" "I need something to back up against." "I feel the same way. We've both lost so much. But I believe that what we're looking for is in the X-Files and more certain than ever that the truth is in there." "I've heard the truth Mulder. Now what I want are the answers." He pulled her into his arms and she cried. Softly, gently. She left the chair and sat on the floor. Crying just barely while in his arms. His warm body was against hers and she felt loved. Even if it wasn't love, it was support, and that was what she needed. Support, trust, someone who cares. ______________________________________________________________________________ Dana Scully's Apartment Building 11:02 PM The elevator door opened and Scully saw her apartment a few doors down. She didn't want to go in there. She didn't want to be alone. She wanted Melissa. She wanted her heart back. She wanted that part of her life back. It was too late. Melissa was gone. Brain dead, biologically dead, technically dead. Scully exhaled softly as Mulder placed his hand in the small of her back and lead her out of the elevator. He didn't want to pry, so he decided he would let her be. Leave her alone. She turned back once outside of the elevator with a weak smile telling him thank you. She turned back and headed for her apartment. She walked lazily, tired, and reached in her purse searching for her keys. Mulder watched her with empathy. He knew what this felt like. They'd both lost their fathers, and their sisters. She found the key and inserted it into the key hole. As the key entered, she slowly sank down to the floor. The elevator door was closing. Mulder saw Scully drop to the floor, pressed his hands against the sliding door, and immediately ran over to her side. He placed his hands around her face cupping her cheeks in his soft warm hands. Two huge blue tears had poured out of her eyes and she looked intoxicated. She looked weak, tired, lost, alone. "Scully..." "Mulder I...I..." she broke down in tears. Tears she'd contained since she first heard from Frohike that her sister was in critical condition. She moaned softly as her hands made motions of frustration as she squinted her eyes. "I'll call someone Scully," he said. She grabbed his arm intensely as he stood up. "No, no. There's no one. I can't see my mother right now Mulder. This would hurt her too much." "Then what can I do Scully?" She cried. Moaning loudly as if someone was stabbing her. Tears overflowed out of her eyes and slid down her face. Her face crumbled and he had never felt worse. What could he do? He couldn't bring her sister back anymore than he could bring his father back. "Okay, okay Scully," he said as he grasped her upper arms and pulled her to her feet. The sobs coming from her mouth tore his heart apart. As he helped her up, she cried out in pain. Pain he knew he wasn't causing, but it was still pain. Pain she was feeling. His arms went supportingly around her as she cried and sobbed. He opened the apartment door and lead her inside. He was pretty much holding her up and helping her walk. He was glad she was so light. Her hand went over her eyes. He sat her down on the couch and held her. She pulled away and looked up at him. Her eyes were so beautiful. When she cried her huge blue eyes could be seen a mile away. "I'm sorry Mulder." "For what? Grieving for your loss?" "For putting you in this position." "That is so you Scully. Always thinking about everyone else first. I'm the one who should be sorry. I caused this." "Shut up Mulder, you didn't cause any of it. If anyone caused it, then it was me. They were aiming the goddamn bullet at me." "You didn't know Scully. You had no idea-" "But I did Mulder. I was leaving hoping to meet her, but Skinner came and I went with him believing he was the man that was going to kill me. So, while I'm yelling at Skinner when he wasn't even the enemy, my sister's lying in my apartment dying from a bullet shot by the real killer I haven't found!" "Scully, tell me what to do and I'll do it." She looked at him questioningly. She knew he was having a heart ache himself. He'd just lost his father. She knew what it felt like to lose a father. He knew what it was like to lose a sister. He was right, they'd both lost so much. Suddenly, he had the urge to cry. It was her loss, but he'd lost the same. Tears filled his eyes as he rested her face in his hands. He slowly moved close to her and her mouth fell open almost in surprise. Wondering what was going to happen, and if it was what she thought and hoped, how she would react. His mouth enclosed over hers. His soft lips caressed her own, as she still cried. Her face was wet and shiny with salty tears. She tasted his lips, tasted him. She felt differently about him than anyone else. All her high school crushes were a girl's love. Ethan and Jack she practically jumped into a relationship with, but Mulder, Mulder was her friend. The only one constantly with her she trusted. She loved. With all her heart. She pulled back and they stared at each other's eyes. His green ones matching her sea blue eyes. Mulder reached for her and practically pulled her from her place on the couch into his lap. His arms held her tightly. She allowed a few more tears to fall and he gently brushed them away. She felt the closeness of her body on top of his. He kissed her lips, her eyes, her cheeks, her neck, all while his hands tangled intensely in her fiery red hair. His mouth went back to hers and rested it there. Her lips cling to his as they kissed hungrily, devouring each other. All the pain in their lives was pushed out of their bodies as this new emotion came running in. Finally, something good in their lives, something serious, something wonderful. Something real. Maybe not realistic, but real. Completely, undeniably real. They both needed to gain what they'd lost back, but even though they knew they couldn't, the part of their heart that had been broken was being filled with every touch... ______________________________________________________________________________ Dana Scully's Apartment 7:31 AM Mulder awoke naked in Scully's bed to the sound of her in the kitchen. He stretched and wondered why the hell she was up so early. He yawned and considered going back to sleep, for he was never good at getting up at an appropriate time, but then remembered what had happened the night before. He practically jumped out of bed and ran to her. She was in slippers, which made her look even more petite than usual. She was wearing a robe, something he never thought he'd see his partner in. She didn't look happy, she was probably thinking about her sister as she stood in front of her stove making eggs. He wondered if she was sorry. Should he be? He wasn't, but was she? She turned to face him. When he noticed she was looking at him, he raised his eye brows with a small smile and walked towards her. She turned back towards the stove. She closed her eyes as he came surrounding her. He rested his head on hers and his hands on her hands. He felt her tense up, and quickly backed away. She turned to him, her eyes sparkling. "You okay Scully?" "No, but I'm getting better. Thank you." "For?" "For being there for me when I needed you. Last night. I needed someone, but I didn't mean to place you in a position you weren't comfortable being in. I understand if you want to forget this ever happened. It's not exactly appropriate, so I understand." "Have I given you any indication Scully that I regret what happened? I've said before, we've both lost so much. Much more than anyone should. We've witnessed terrible things but we've survived them. Survived seeing things no one should ever have to. I'm sorry if I put you in an 'inappropriate' place. Do you regret it?" She looked down, shaking her head telling him no. She looked back up at him and smiled. He didn't see her smile much, and it was wonderful. He knew the smile was forced and watery, but some of the smile was right from her heart. She placed her hands on his chest. "I fixed us a breakfast. I usually just eat an apple on the way to work, I'm not used to cooking for myself or anyone else. So excuse me if I'm a little out of practice." "No one has ever cooked me breakfast since I was living with my mother." He sat down across from her and began eating the scrambled eggs. He smiled a bad smile at the food. "Scully, how old are these eggs? When did you get them?" "Well...I remember I got them on the way to work, I just can't quite recall which job," she half teased. He nodded with a smile and a mouth full of old eggs, and swallowed hard. She giggled a little Scully giggle that he'd heard once or twice. It was worth swallowing her breakfast just to see her laugh. She leaned over towards him and placed her small hand on his. "Mulder, I need to take one day off from the bureau and do something. I guess I changed my mind slightly. I want you to come." "Sure, where?" "I have Melissa's key, I need to go to her apartment. Would you come?" "Sure, anything you want." ______________________________________________________________________________ Melissa Scully's Apartment 8:52 AM Dana walked down the hall to her sister's room. Mulder was right behind her. "I'm here, and I'll be here if you want me to be." She nodded, staying strong walking door after door. She reached her sister's room, and slowly unlocked the door. She looked back up at Mulder. He couldn't read her expression, but he was patient. He couldn't imagine what it would be like to be in her place. Sure, he'd lost his sister, but his sister was eight years old. She wasn't an adult whom he'd grown up with. Samantha had spent only a small portion of his life with her. He had few memories of Samantha, but the ones he had were inscribed eternally in his mind. Melissa was so different. Melissa and Scully had grown up in the same room, lived a few minutes away, and they had gotten a chance to know each other. Melissa was peculiar, but he knew that her heart was in the right place. continued in part 2