Subject: RATMM FAQ From: kalkin@tiac.net (John Nevins) Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc The Rec.Arts.Tv.Mst3k.Misc FAQ This version is edited and modified by Jess Nevins (kalkin@sunspot.tiac.net), loosely based on the original by Matt "fRiNgE" Duhan and edited with the able assistance of Christine Malcom, Christine Pen~a, Q, M. Sampo, and Brian Henry. If you have suggestions or additions, please e-mail me with "RATMM FAQ" in the Subject: line. Last updated: January 29, 1997 TABLE OF CONTENTS 1) THE FAQ 2) THE NEWSGROUP 3) GENERAL NEWSGROUP INFORMATION 4) NETIQUETTE 5) NEWSGROUP DOS AND DON'TS 6) NEWSGROUP REGULARS 7) NEWSGROUP MISCELLANY & ESOTERICA ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 1) THE FAQ Q: What's a FAQ? A: A FAQ is a list of Frequently Asked Questions about a newsgroup. Q: Is this the FAQ about Mystery Science Theatre 3000? A: No. That FAQ is maintained by Chris Cornell and Brian Henry and can be found at http://members.aol.com/mstienews/ Q: What sort of questions are answered in the MST FAQ? A: Anything related to MST, essentially. The RATMM FAQ is for answering the Frequently Asked Questions about RATMM; the MST FAQ, which can be found at http://members.aol.com/mstienews/, answers the Frequently Asked Questions about MST3K and Best Brains, Incorporated. These questions include: What's the show about? When and where can I see the show? What happened to Joel/Frank/Trace? Where are Joel/Frank/Trace now? What's the deal with syndication? What's the deal with the MST movie? When is Season 8 beginning? Does TV's Frank have a fan club? Wasn't there supposed to be a MST cd-rom? What's going to happen to Crow now that Trace has left? What's this about an MST convention? Q: Then what's this FAQ all about? A: The major newsgroup for discussion of Mystery Science Theater 3000 (MST3K) is Rec.Arts.Tv.Mst3k.Misc. There are a number of people who post to this group, and have been on for quite some time. Thus, this FAQ was created to answer questions that new people may have about the newsgroup and/or its regulars but that do not fit into any of the MST3K FAQs - i.e., that are about the group or related topics rather than the show itself, and which the regulars do not want to have to keep answering. (If you haven't read the MST FAQ first, read it now and then come back to this one - it'll make a lot more sense if you do) 2) THE NEWSGROUP Q: Is RATMM the only newsgroup devoted to MST3K? A: No. The two primary MST3K newsgroups are Rec.Arts.Tv.Mst3k.Misc (for miscellaneous information) and Rec.Arts.Tv.Mst3k.Announce for official announcements. There are two other newsgroups, Alt.Tv.Mst3k (ATM), and Alt.Fan.Mst3k, but they are not available at all sites. Q: What's the real difference between Rec.Arts.Tv.MST3K.Misc (RATMM) and Rec.Arts.Tv.MST3K.Announce (RATMA)? A: RATMM is the general forum for discussion of MST-related topics. RATMA is a moderated newsgroup whose function is to pass on official announcements about MST. The FAQs will be posted there, as well as official announcements from Barbbb (the Best Brains' Info Club Poobah) and Mike Pearce's schedule. RATMA is moderated by Mike Pearce, who will do nasty net.god things to you if you try to post non-relevant drivel there. Q: Should I post at Rec.Arts.Tv.Mst3k.Misc, Alt.Tv.Mst3k, or Alt.Fan.Mst3k? A: For a wider reading audience, you should post at Rec.Arts.Tv.Mst3k.Misc, and crosspost to Alt.Tv.Mst3k. Some people posting at Alt.Fan.Mst3k will receive an error message from USENET stating the newsgroup is redundant or bogus. Q: What's the Charter for RATMM? A: The following: Description: Discussion of TV's Mystery Science Theater 3000. The newsgroup Rec.Arts.Tv.Mst3k.Misc will be used as a forum for discussion of: (1) the television show, Mystery Science Theater 3000 (MST3K), and memorabilia, trivia, and persons related to it; (2) MST3K fanfics, until such time as they get their own newsgroup; and (3) any other shows produced by Best Brains, Inc., until such time as the shows get their own newsgroups. 3) GENERAL NEWSGROUP INFORMATION Q: Why do you all spend so much time off-topic? A: Ours is a free-wheeling newsgroup, with many ongoing conversations about very different topics. We like it that way. Restricting our conversation to just MST3K has always seemed too limiting to us. Q: Are any of the Brains on RATMM? A: The current Info Club Poobah, Barb Tebbens (Barbbb), is here. Ms. Tebbens' email address is Barbbb@aol.com, which is also the email address of the Info Club itself. Kevin Murphy very occasionally posts here. It is rumored that other members of Best Brains, Inc., lurk here, but this has not been substantiated. Q: Can I ask Barbbb stuff about Season 8, or--- A: No. (Please). When she knows things about Season 8, she'll tell us. Remember that being on-line is a very small part of her job, and is done as a favor to us. We don't want to end up pestering her with a lot of unnecessary questions. Q: Does r.a.t.m.m. have a theme song? A: It does now, thanks to Ron Drake: "WE'RE R.A.T.M.M." [To the tune of "My Country, 'Tis Of Thee" south of the Canadian border. Otherwise, it's "God Save The Queen."] Please keep posts OTP Don't flame incessantly "Plan Nine..." won't MST Before we hear from you Please read the FAQ Josh Weinstein of "The Simpsons" crew Ain't the one from here! tORgO's A RUnniNG jOKe Tom Servo's head has smoked At least five times Gypsy is not oppressed Cambot is not undressed And saying Mike or Joel is best Doesn't mean a thing We're nice as newsgroups go We just enjoy the show We're weird that way Don't overanalyze Sit back and feast your eyes True wackos don't apologize We're R-AAAAAA-Teeeeeee-EmmmmmmmmmmMMMMM!!! Q: Does RATMM have any commonly-used colloquialisms, acronyms, or slang I should know about? A: Yup: Baconization: a game, along the lines of Six Degrees of Separation, connecting Kevin Bacon to every movie actor/actress who ever lived. Barbbb: Barb Tebbens, the current Info Club Poobah of Best Brains, Inc. BBI: Best Brains, Incorporated; the company that makes Mystery Science Theatre 3000. Blounge: to, ahem, strike with your breasts. juliewa: Julie Walker, the former Info Club Poobah of Best Brains, Inc. MJN: Michael J. Nelson, the actor who plays Mike Nelson on MST3K. MJP: Mary Jo Pehl; the very-talented actress who plays Pearl Forrester on MST3K. MST: also MST3K; Mystery Science Theatre 3000. A little cow-town puppet show. MSTed: also MSTing. A header, usually found in a post's subject line, which indicates a post containing something to which one of the RATMM members has given the MST3K treatment. *sugh*: kinda like a sigh, only not Tskwm: Tom Servo Kevin Wagner Murphy; the voice behind and operator of our beloved Tom Servo. Q: What are some commonly-used acronyms and slang that appear on Usenet newsgroups, not just on RATMM? A: Among others, the following: BTW: By The Way. crosspost: a message (post) sent to more than one newsgroup. emoticon: an ASCII diagram of a facial expression (like so: :-) ) (look at it sideways if you still don't get it). Used to convey emotion if a message's words are (or might be) insufficient. FAQ: A Frequently Asked Questions list. flame: an insult. : a grin. Meant to have the similar effect as an emoticon. IMHO: In My Humble Opinion. IMNSHO: In My Not So Humble Opinion. killfile: to configure your newsreader so as to ignore every post by the target of your killfile. LOL: Laugh Out Loud. What you say when a post made you Laugh Out Loud. lurking: reading the newsgroup without posting to it. netiquette: Net etiquette; polite behavior on the Internet. newbie: A newcomer. Ob: A grace note put in to an off-topic post to bring the post nominally on-topic to the newsgroup. For example, if I post something wishing one of the regulars on RATMM a happy birthday, I might put "ObMST: When is the video disc coming out?" to make the post at least a little bit on-topic. OTP: Off-Topic Post. A header in a post's subject line notifying people that what you are about to post doesn't have much to do with the subject of the newsgroup. A little-used but much-appreciated device. *Plonk*: the sound of someone falling to the bottom of your kill-file. Generally posted as notification that you are kill-filing someone. ROTFLOL: Rolling On The Floor Laughing Out Loud. What you post when something someone said was really, really funny. RTF: Read The FAQ! A common response to a Frequently Asked Question. spam: to post a completely inappropriate message to a number of newsgroups. Usually applied to commercial postings sent to every Usenet newsgroup. thread: an article and its follow-up articles. troll: a deliberately provocative post, one guaranteed to provoke a reaction due to its sheer stupidity or offensiveness. Also refers to a person who is known to routinely post in this manner. WOTP: Way-Off-Topic Post. When what you are about to post is extremely off-topic. YHBT: You Have Been Trolled. When you took a troll seriously and responded to it. YMMV: Your Mileage May Vary. Which is to say, "you may feel differently than I do." 4) NETIQUETTE Q: What is netiquette? A: Netiquette is the slang among the regulars on Usenet for the proper etiquette - that is, what is and is not considered polite. The following is a list of basic netiquette that you should follow on every Usenet newsgroup: 1. DON'T post private e-mails without the permission of the sender. This is regarded as a gross violation of the person's privacy. 2. DON'T unnecessarily waste bandwidth with "me too" posts - that is, posts that reprint a long post only to add a "me too" or "ditto." 3. DO killfile people rather than engage in a public exchange of insults. Public arguments and unpleasantries waste everybody's time and bandwidth and make the combatants look stupid and/or immature. Take any unpleasant discussion to e-mail. Or killfile them. 4. DON'T post trolls. Trolls are universally seen as a pain in the neck, because they annoy everyone on the newsgroup and don't produce anything positive. And please DON'T feed the trolls by responding to them; they become dependent on us, keep coming back for more, and then we just have to take them out back and shoot them. (Sad, really) 5. DO be careful of crossposts. In rare cases a crosspost may be of interest to every newsgroup that the post is sent to; but usually the crosspost is relevant only to one newsgroup, or (more often) the responses to the original crosspost are relevant to only one newsgroup. Always edit the "To:" or "Newsgroups:" line post to make sure it goes only to those newsgroups to which it is relevant. 6. DO think about what you're going to post before you post it. Is it likely to have been discussed ad nauseum? Is it likely to provoke an argument or bad feelings? Is it going to be unnecessarily insulting or rude or offensive to someone? Is it likely to be answered in the MST or RATMM FAQ? Is it something you really should be discussing with a therapist instead? If the answer to *ANY* of these questions is "yes," don't post them. 7. DON'T use offensive language. While we're all adults, we usually prefer the fun and creativity of euphemisms. 8. DO be careful about the wording of your posts. Remember, people can't see your face when you post; all we have to go on is the phrasing of the post. So what you may intend to be humorous may not be taken that way and what may be an innocent, unconscious error on your part may be taken as a deliberate insult by somebody. Basically, be careful in what you say and how you say it. 9. DO edit out material, in an article to which you are replying, that is not relevant to your answer; that is, don't include 80 lines of text and respond only to the last line. That wastes time and bandwidth. 10. DON'T post binaries to non-binary newsgroups. 5) NEWSGROUP DOS AND DON'TS Q: Oh, is the great FAQ-keeper going to dictate what I can and can't talk about? A: Yes. Well, sort of. See, we don't want to discourage discussion of MST - and we like the newsgroup to be free-wheeling - but we've learned (the hard way) that certain topics and actions only lead to unpleasantness, insults, and pointless arguments. So we ask that you follow these guidelines - we obviously can't force you to adhere to these guidelines, but in the words of former RATMM member Clarinda Carrington, we *STRONGLY SUGGEST* that you follow these rules: 1. DON'T bring up Baconization. It can be entertaining to people who haven't played it before, but we (the regulars of RATMM) have seen threads about Baconization for a couple of years now - yes, *years*, ever since it was first created. Baconization was fun the first time around, but some (many) of us have experienced Baconization outbreaks ten or fifteen times, and it's gotten really old. If you're _really_ curious about Baconization, visit the Baconization web page at http://www.cs.virginia.edu/~bct7m/bacon.html. 2. DO remember, when posting your comments about any MST episode, Sampo's Theorem, which states: "For every MSTie that thinks a particular episode is the greatest work BBI has ever done, there is another MSTie that thinks it's the worst work they've ever done." 3. DON'T bring up RATMM's Taboo Topics. These are matters of opinion, rather than fact; bringing them up inevitably causes pointless arguments and unpleasantries rather than fun discussions. Therefore, we respectfully and humbly ask you that *not* bring up the following topics: a) Who's better, Joel or Mike? b) Why did Josh, Joel, Frank and Trace *really* leave? c) Why don't they get rid of Mary Jo? d) Who's better, Joel or Mike? e) Who's better, Frank or Pearl? f) Religion. g) Politics. h) The merits of one type of computer versus another - i.e., the Mac-vs-PC debate. i) Who's better, Joel or Mike? j) The merits of one sort of on-line service versus another - no AOL bashing, please. k) Why Mike or Mary Jo or any other cast member "sucks." l) Who's better, Joel or Mike? If you have *ANY* doubt about whether a topic is Taboo, e-mail one of the faq keepers (I can be reached at kalkin@sunspot.tiac.net, and am willing to answer any question, no matter how self-evident), read the FAQs, or (as a favor to the group) don't post it. We'd like to maintain a good level of newsgroup harmony on RATMM, and that can be difficult when faced with the Taboo Topics. 4. DON'T insult the regulars. This is the quickest and easiest way to earn the enmity of the rest of us, to get yourself kill-filed, and to make yourself unwelcome. 5. DON'T act like your opinions are facts. 6. DON'T insult any of the cast members of MST3K. Our ninja squads will get you if you do. 7. DO respond to already-existing posts, and let everyone get used to you and your sense of humor, rather than posting new things immediately and starting your own threads, and then being upset because nobody is responding to you. Also, DO lurk for at least a week before posting, so as to get a feel for what is and is not acceptable behavior on the newsgroup. 8. DON'T flood the newsgroup with posts and expect an immediate response. Ease your way in to RATMM. Q: Sheesh! Is there anything I *can* talk about? A: Sure - lots of stuff! But we regulars have had to deal with certain topics over and over and over again, and we're tired of them. By not mentioning them you make us happy, and we'll thank you for it. Look at it this way: say you're at a party. Someone comes up to you (while you're standing underneath a clock) and asks you what time it is. You tell them.They wander away. Five minutes later, someone else asks you what time it is. They wander away. Then someone else asks you what time it is. This is what it feels like to the regulars here when they have to answer various Frequently Asked Questions. Q: What about flames? A: We respectfully ask that you not engage in this practice; it only ruins newsgroup harmony. Q: But what if someone is consistently obnoxious, mean-spirited, lying, hateful, or just plain evil? A: The only effective way to deal with people like that is to ignore them; they do this for attention, and if they don't get it, they'll go away. If a particular person goes beyond civil debate and discussion and into the realm of personal attacks, you also have the option of informing his or her service provider. This is usually done by emailing "postmaster@[name of service provider]" Most internet service providers have policies that prohibit their customers from posting abusive comments or personal attacks on Internet newsgroups, and will immediately warn the individual. That sometimes is all it takes to stop the attacks. If the individual ignores the warnings, repeated complaints could lead to that person having his or her Internet account cancelled. Be sure to include the name of the newsgroup where the abusive material was posted and forward the *ENTIRE* post in which the offensive material appears. Q: But don't they, and we, have the right to free speech? A: Yes, and we have the right to ignore them, or ask them not to be unpleasant. Q: That didn't answer my question - don't they have the right to say what they want? A: To quote from _Zen and the Art of the Internet_: "Usenet is not a right. Some people misunderstand their local right of `freedom of speech' to mean that they have a legal right to use others' computers to say what they wish in whatever way they wish, and the owners of said computers have no right to stop them. Those people are wrong. Freedom of speech also means freedom not to speak; if I choose not to use my computer to aid your speech, that is my right. Freedom of the press belongs to those who own one." Q: You guys are kinda cliquey, aren' t you? A: Well, yes and no. RATMM is a community of friends - a virtual family of sorts - many of whom know each other (or have at least met) in real life, and the threads on RATMM are, in essence, ongoing conversations between friends. This does not mean we are hostile or unwelcome to newcomers. *EVERYONE* was a newcomer to RATMM at one point or another, the FAQ-keeper included. Many of the most popular/famous/well-received people on RATMM were newcomers, not too long ago. We welcomed them with open arms, and will similarly welcome you with open arms. There are a few folks who would object at this point, saying that they were treated rudely by the regulars, or ignored, and that they didn't feel at all welcome here. That is unfortunate, but in almost every case the newcomers did something to deserve their poor treatment - usually not following the Newsgroup Dos and Don'ts. 6) THE REGULARS Q: Who is Christine Malcom? A: She's the Indestructible Gouda Llama Woman, Emeritus. Worship her; sacrifice fudge to her; beware her wrath! Oh, and she's married to Tom Servo. Q: Who (or what) is Mikey Sphar? A: He's Dreamy. Q: Who is Sid Varma? A: Just don't even ask. Q: Who are Noah Singman and Jungle Goddess? A: The William Powell and Myrna Loy of the newsgroup. Q: Who is Q? A: She is the newsgroup's all-powerful extradimensional entity. She's also married to Crow. Q: Who is David Anderson? A: A guy who's ready for some football. Plus he's a graduate of the Shaolin Temple and Michelle Kahn's fiance'. Q: Who is Sampo? A: First Among RATMM Equals. Q: Who is Amy Ashton? A: RATMM's local skating expert and the wife of Paul Wylie. Q: Who is Mike Czaplinski? A: Former member of the Trenton, New Jersey branch of the Hell's Angels and ex-husband of Pamela Anderson Lee. Q: Who is Chad Gould? A: Also known as "Soundwave," Chad Gould's techno-flavored remixes of Edith Piaf and Charo songs have earned him a cult following in Germany. Q: Who is Barbara Heiles? A: Our mom. She's just really swell. (She's just neat, is all) Q: Who are Diane Hodgson and Rick Thorne? A: The hottest, sexiest, most happening couple here on RATMM. All men envy Rick Thorne; all women worship him, especially his big, buttery slab of chest. Diane Hodgson is a pseudonym for a well-known actress whose initials are Audrey Hepburn. Q: Who is Jeffrey Johnson? A: Panderer. Nutmeg smuggler. Wanted in Joplin, Missouri, for manslaughter (he shot a man for snoring too loudly). Q: Who is Rich Johnson? A: The net.name of Quentin Crisp. Q: Who is juliewa? A: Former Info Club Poobah for Best Brains, Inc. Head of her own ninja squad. The epitome of on-line grace, patience and charm. Q: Who is Bryan Lambert? A: RATMM's Biggest Wuss (tm). Q: Who is nicklby? A: Nobody seems to know for sure. (The official answer is a biennial Maltinite leg man, but don't tell anyone, okay?) Q: Who is Christine Pen~a? A: The Tilde~d One. RATMM's Cave Dweller/High Priestess/Sexual Sha(wo)man. Q: Who is Jamie Plummer? A: You've seen the Zapruder film, right? You know that scene where the guy opens his umbrella? You know the guy to his right, with the curly brown hair, wearing the black carnation? That's Jamie. Q: Who is EvilJen? A: One outrageously sexy woman. She bursts into flames, and comes with Buffalo Wings. Q: Who is T-Bone? A: Our blues expert. (Q: Does anyone know who T-Bone _really_ is? A: Yes) Q: Who is Tammy S. Davis? A: The Voice Of Reason. Q: Who is Bill Livingston? A: We have reason to suspect that the person who calls himself "Bill Livingston" is actually the original Marlboro Man - but don't tell anyone that. Q: Who is jess nevins? A: That's me - the FAQ keeper. Also the would-be husband of Gypsy and RATMM's Official Biggest Femme (as confirmed by Tskwm). Q: Who is Barcode? A: Barcode's our own Magnificent Bastard - you've read his book, right? Q: Who is Phil Mueller? A: The leading proponent of the avant-garde Elitist Twerp school of philosophy. Q: Who are Lorelle (Cindy) Anderson, Jonathan "L stands for Lacan" Bare, Doug Barkes, Mike Barklage, BioKen, Carrie (and Tibby), Bob Church, Mike Cohen, Stephen Cooke, creepygirl, Carrie Dahlby, Patrick Delahanty, Blair Dillman, Kelly Donaghue, Billy Duncan, Brian Dunkle, DynaYellow, Doug Elrod, Michael Emond, Erin, Brian Henry, Chris Fischer, Shelby Forsyth, Doug Gale, Sheryl Gere, Greg Gershowitz, Todd Gilbert, Chris Gleason, Jon Hall, Claye Hodge, Rick Hodge, ikaros (the Rev. Dr. Sherwood Forrester), Catherine Johnson, Brock LaReau, Derek LaVassar, Magic Voice, Bonnie May, M-D November, Jay Middleton, Michelle (Pat Zalas), Perri Mongan, Kevin Mowery, Nemo, Michael K. Neylon, Origami Duck, Rainman, Sledge Riprock, Chris Seale, Mandy "Pepper" Shekelton, Angie Shutz, Doug Smith, Spork the Mango Weasel, Sproing, Merritt Stone, Evan Talbott, Steven (thor) Thorpe, TomR, and Bonnie Walling? A: These are some of the people that post often and are part of the core of our family. Beware, as they enjoy having fun and not all they say is true. 7) NEWSGROUP MISCELLANY & ESOTERICA Q: What's the deal with llamas? A: They're, like, the wind, baby. Q: I've seen some people MiSTing Usenet articles. Is there a guide to the proper format for doing this? A: Yes, it is available from Michael Neylon (mneylon@engin.umich.edu). In addition, there is a mailing "dibs" list. To subscribe, e-mail mneylon@engin.umich.edu with a subject line containing 'DIBS-SUB'. Q: What are the Non-Sequitur Police and the Dada Squad? A: They are RATMM's response to trolls and flames. You'll know what they are when you see them in action. Q: What's the deal with all the marriage proposals flying around the newsgroup? A: Well, we're mostly all friends here, and we like each other. A marriage proposal is a way of signalling your admiration and respect for another person. And since most of us have agreed to marry more than one person on RATMM (we aren't bound by pesky monogamy laws here), we're all married to each other. We're just one big happy polygamous family, albeit not without some Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor couples. Q: I have some questions you haven't covered here. Who can I ask about them? A: Me - that is, Jess Nevins, Your Humble FAQ-Keeper. I can be reached at kalkin@sunspot.tiac.net, and I'm willing to answer any inquiries, so fire away. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ _Mystery Science Theater 3000_, its characters and situations are copyright 1997 Best Brains, Inc. This publication is not meant to infringe on any copyrights held by Best Brains, Comedy Central, the Sci-Fi Channel or its employees. The information herein is subject to being wrong. This FAQ is free to distribute not-for-profit as long as this notice remains intact. No part of this publication may be reprinted, in whole or part, for profit or in hard printed form, without express written permission of the maintainer (Jess Nevins (kalkin@sunspot.tiac.net)). ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- --