A Memorandum from the Management to Employees
It has been brought to the management's attention that some individuals have been using foul language
in the course of conversation between employees. Due to complaints from some of the more easily offended
workers, this conduct will no longer be tolerated. The management does, however, realize the importance of
each person being able to properly express their feelings when communicating with their fellow employees.
Therefore, management had compiled the following code list. It is imperative that all employees understand
and memorize these code phrases so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue.
OLD PHRASE NEW PHRASE
No fucking way I'm not certain that is feasible
You've got to be shitting me Really
Tell someone who gives a fuck Perhaps you should check with...
Ask me if I give a fuck Of course I'm concerned
It's not my fucking problem I wasn't involved in this project
What the fuck? Interesting behavior
Fuck it. It won't work. I'm not sure I can implement this
When the fuck did you expect me to do this? Perhaps I can work late
Why the fuck don't they tell me sooner I'll try to schedule that
Who the fuck cares? Are you sure it's a problem?
Eat shit! You don't say?
Eat shit and die! Excuse me?
Eat shit and die motherfucker! Excuse me, Sir?
What the fuck do they want from my life? They weren't happy with it.
Kiss my ass So, you'd like my help with it?
Fuck it, I'm on salary I'm a bit overloaded at the moment
Shove it up your ass I don't think you understand
This job sucks! I love a challenge
Who the hell died and made you boss? You want me to take care of this?
Blow me I see
Blow yourself Do you see?
Another fucking meeting Yes, we should discuss this.
I really don't give a shit I don't think this will be a problem
He's fucking retarded He's a bit confused
Suck a big one I can do that
Why the hell do I have to do it? No problem
They acted like total assholes They were a bit upset
