Did you hear the one about the blonde who thought that "love handles"
referred to her ears?

Hubby: "As a start, I think you should learn to iron, then we could do
without the ironing lady."
Blonde Wife: "Well if you would learn to fuck me properly we could do
without the gardener."

There were three women who were at the gynecologist having pre-natal
checkups The doctor asked the first woman "in what position was the baby
concieved?"
"He was on top," she replyed.
"You will have a boy!" the doctor exclaimed.
The second woman was asked the same question.
"I was on top ", was the reply.
"You will have a baby girl," said the doctor.
With this, the third women, a blond, burst into tears.
"Whats the matter?" asked the doc.
"Am I going to have puppies ?"

A government study has shown that blondes do have more fun - they just
don't remember who with.

A blonde's response to the comment, "Think about it!": "I don't have to
think - I'm blonde!"

Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and
said, "Oh, look at the deer tracks." The other blonde looks and says,
"Those arn't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks." "No. Those are deer
tracks." They keep arguing, and arguing, and one half hour later they were
both killed by a train.

This blonde and her boyfriend were sitting in a hot tub when the blonde
said to her boyfriend, "Is it true that if you pull your finger out, I'll
sink?"

Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of them decides
to call 911.
Blonde: "We need help. We're three blondes changing a light bulb."
Operator: "Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb?"
Blonde: "Yes."
Operator: "The power in the house in on?"
Blonde: "Of course."
Operator: "And the switch is on?"
Blonde: "Yes, yes."
Operator: "And the bulb still won't light up?"
Blonde: "No, it's working fine."
Operator: "Then what's the problem?"
Blonde: "We got dizzy spinning the ladder around and we all fell and hurt
ourselves."

Did you hear about the blonde who:
	-- took an hour to cook Minute Rice?
	-- got into the taxi, and the driver kept the "Vacant" sign up?
	-- was an M.D. - Mentally Deficient?
	-- had a terrific stairway, but nothing upstairs?

A blonde goes into the drug store to buy some rubbers (so she can practice
safe sex). She walks up to the pharmicist and asks "How much for a box of
rubbers?"
"They're $1 for a box of 3," he replied, "Plus 6 cents for the tax."
"Oh," said the blonde, "I wondered how they kept them on."

Imitation of a blonde refuelling... (Flap hand, blowing air into ears)

A blonde and a brunette were talking one day. The brunette said that her
boyfriend had a slight dandruff problem but she gave him "Head and
Shoulders" and it cleared it up.
The blonde asked inquisitively, "How do you give shoulders?"


Q&A

Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A: Gifted!

Q: How do blonde braincells die?
A: Alone.

Q: How do you brainwash a blonde?
A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down.

Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.

Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A: Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!

Q: What do a blonde and your computer have in common?
A: You don't know how much either of them mean to you until they go
down on you.

Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
A: It takes too long to retrain them.

Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
A: (With a rocking of the head from side to side) I dunno!

Q: How do you kill a blonde?
A: Put spikes in their shoulder pads.

Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar on the top of their head?
A: All you can eat, under a buck.

Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings?
A: They have to have some place to rest their ankles.

Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: Her ankles.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been in your refrigerator?
A: By the lipstick on your cucumbers.

Q: Why don't blondes use vibrators?
A: They chip their teeth.

Q: Why do blondes wear underwear?
A: They make good ankle warmers.

Q: What's the mating call of the blonde?
A: "I'm sooo drunk!"

Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?
A: (Screaming) "I said: I'm drunk!"
Q: Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First.

Q: Why do blondes have TGIF on their shirts?
A: Tits Go In Front.

Q: What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side?
A: An interpreter.

Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
A: A mental block.

Q: How do you change a blonde's mind?
A1: Blow in her ear.
A2: Buy her another beer.

Q: What do you say to a blonde that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."

Q: What's the first thing a blonde does after sex?
A: Opens the car door.

Q: How do blondes turn the light on after sex?
A: Kick open the car door.

Q: Why do blondes like tilt steering?
A: More head room.

Q: Why do blondes drive cars with sunroofs?
A: More leg room.

Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob?
A: Because everybody gets a turn.

Q: Why is a blonde like railroad tracks?
A: Because she's been laid all over the country.

Q: Why do blonde girls have trouble achieving orgasm?
A: *Who cares?*

Q: What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear?
A: Data transfer.

Q: How can you tell which blonde is the waitress?
A: She is the one with the tampon behind her ear, wondering what she did
with her pencil.

Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1: "What's a lightbulb?"
A2: One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
A3: Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaady!"

Q: What does a blonde say when she gives birth?
A: Gee, Are you sure it's mine?

Q: What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.

Q: Why do blondes take the pill?
A: So they know what day of the week it is.

Q: What's the difference between Indiana and a blonde?
A: A blonde has larger hills and deeper valleys.

Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a Porsche?
A: You don't lend the Porsche out to your friend.