The following are actual statements made in insurance claim forms where drivers attempted to summarize the details of an accident in the fewest words possible. These instances of faulty writing serve to confirm that even incompetent writing can be highly entertaining!

Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.

I thought my window was down, but found out it was up when I put my head through it.

I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of timesbefore I hit him.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.

I attempted to kill a fly and I drove into a telephone pole.

I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached the intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and did not see the other car.

I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

I was on the way to the doctor with rear end trouble and my universal joint gave way, causing me to have an accident.

As I approached the intersection, a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no sign had ever appeared before.

To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.

My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle. An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car, and vanished.

I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, found that I had a fractured skull.

I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.

The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over him.

I saw a slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.

An indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

I was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray dogs.

The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of its way when it struck my front end.