1-  Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy disk?
          2-  I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!
          3-  "Very funny, Scotty.  Now beam down my clothes."
          4-  Friends help you move.  *Real* friends help you move bodies.
          5-  I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.
          6-  The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
          7-  We are born naked, wet, and hungry.  Then things get worse.
          8-  Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.
          9-  The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
          10- Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
          11- The secret of the universe is @*^^^ NO CARRIER
          12- Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
          13- I'm not a complete idiot...some parts are missing!
          14- Always remember you're unique, just like everybody else.
          15- Give me ambiguity or give me something else. 
          16- Lottery: a tax on people who are bad at math.
          17- There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
          18- Artificial intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
          19- I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac.
          20- Learn from your parent's mistakes...use birth control!
          21- Hard work has a future payoff.  Laziness pays off now.
          22- I won't rise to the occasion, but I'll slide over to it.
          23- Double your drive space...delete Windows!
          24- If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
          25- Puritanism: the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be
          happy.
          26- Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
          27- I use to have a handle on life; then it broke.
          28- I don't suffer from insanity.  I enjoy every minute of it.
          29- When there's a will, I want to be in it.
          30- Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check?
          31- Few women admit their age.  Few men act theirs.
          32- We have enough youth; how about a Fountain of Smart?
          33- All generalizations are false, including this one.
          34- Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
          35- Intel: We put the "um..." in Pentium.