1. Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A: Gifted!

2. Q: How do blonde braincells die? A: Alone.

3. Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? A: Pregnant.

4. Q: How do you brainwash a blonde? A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down.

5. Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette? A: Artificial intelligence.

6. Q: How does a blonde part their hair? A1: (Action of scissoring legs apart) A2: By doing the splits.

7. Q: Why aren't blondes good cattle herders? A: Because they can't even keep two calves together!

8. Q: What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg? A: Nothing. They've never met.

9. Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink? A: Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!

10. Q: When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain? A: After a dye job.

11. Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane? A1: She'd just dyed her hair. A2: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much.

12. Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up? A: To catch everything that goes over their heads.

13. Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger? A: You can park in the handicap zone.

14. Q: What was the blonde psychic's greatest achievment? A: An IN-body experience!

15. Q: Why is a blonde like a turtle? A: They both get fucked up when they're on their back.

16. Q: What do Darren Millane (Collingwood footballer killed in a recent car crash) and a blonde have in common? A: Put either of 'em in a car and their fucked.

17. Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme? A: Humpme Dumpme.

18. Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

19. Q: How do you get a blondes eyes to twinkle? A: Shine a torch in her ears.

20. Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks? A: It takes too long to retrain them.

21. Q1 How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer? A: There's white-out on the screen. Q2: How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer? A: There's writing on the white-out.

22. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer? A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.

23. Q: What do a blonde and your computer have in common? A: You don't know how much either of them mean to you until they go down on you.

24. Q: What did the blonde think of the new computer? A: She didn't like it because she couldn't get channel 9.

25. Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads? A: (With a rocking of the head from side to side) I dunno!

26. Q: How do you kill a blonde? A: Put spikes in their shoulder pads.

27. Q: How do blondes pierce their ears? A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads.

28. Q: Why don't blondes eat Jello? A: They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packages.

29. Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar on the top of their head? A: All you can eat, under a buck.

30. Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles? A: Because they can't get their head in the jar.

31. Q: Why don't blondes eat bananas? A1: They can't find the zipper. A2: They cant find the pull tab.

32. Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: They have to have some place to rest their ankles.

33. Q: Why do blondes where big hoop earrings? A: To put their feet through.

34. Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive? A: Her ankles.

35. Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick? A: Because red means stop.

36. Q: Why do blondes wear red lipstick? A: Because red means "Stop, wrong hole."

37. Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been in your refrigerator? A: By the lipstick on your cucumbers.

38. Q: Why don't blondes use vibrators? A: They chip their teeth.

39. Q: Why do blondes wear underwear? A: They make good ankle warmers.

40. Q: What do blondes do for foreplay? A: Remove their underwear.

41. Q: Why don't blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts? A: Cause their balls show!

42. Q: What's the mating call of the blonde? A: "I'm *sooo* drunk!"

43. Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde? A: (Screaming) "I said: I'm drunk!"

44. Q: How did the blonde die ice fishing? A: She was run over by the zambonis machine.

45. Q: What's a brunette's mating call? A: Has that blonde gone yet? A2: When is that blonde bitch going to leave!? A3: "All the blondes have gone home!"

46: Q: Why do blondes drive BMWs? A: Because they can spell it.

47. Q: Why do blondes like the GST? (GST -- Goods and Services Tax now in effect in Canada) A: Because they can spell it.

48. Q: What is 74 to a blonde? A: 69 plus G.S.T.

49. Q: Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes? A: Toes Go In First.

50. Q: Why do blondes have TGIF on their shirts? A: Tits Go In Front.