By Rachel Torrent

Oh, when will we learn
Really what loving is?
It’s not what you get in return
But what you give.

Lost in her own pleasant little universe, Carli had no idea she was being watched as she walked briskly to her car. She was in the outdoor parking lot of a small two-level shopping/business complex where she had just picked up Alan’s surprise birthday present – some very risqué and very sexy "intimate portraits" of herself in extremely revealing lingerie and very sensual poses. Christine had recommended it.

"Go on, sweetie. You’ve got the bod for it. Blow that handsome man’s mind………..and then you can blow something else," she had said in Allison’s Closet that day.

Carli had blushed just a little and laughed. She admitted that she’d do just about anything for Alan Matthews, anything to keep him happy – now that he was hers alone, finally divorced from his wife, and sharing all his days and nights exclusively with Carli. She found herself wanting to do things for him, give him things, just please him in any way she could.

So his birthday was quickly approaching – an official occasion to shower him with gifts and, of course, her affections. As she walked to her car, she smiled at all her recent scheming and planning. She desperately wanted to pull off a special weekend for him, as special as possible, because he made her feel special. Simply by the way he looked at her.

Today, in the bright sunlight, Carli’s memory seized control of her brain…

Alan had done the surprising the day before. It had been a spectacular Sunday morning, sunny and mild. The kind of day Carli adored, he knew. He’d kissed her cheek and left her sleeping soundly in the bed that was now theirs. He had things to do.

When he returned to the bedroom, she was still in bed, awake now, on her back with the sheet pulled up to her chin. She was grinning sheepishly, lying in wait for him. Then she saw that he was carrying a tray from the kitchen, and she pulled the sheet down some for a better view.

Alan stood beside the bed and smiled. "Morning, beautiful. You look extra special cute under the covers like that………..almost……….well………….shy."

She laughed. "And we both know that’s an illusion, right? What have you got there, Alan?" She sat up in the bed now.

"Sweets for the sweet, my love. I’m at your service." He winked at her and then gingerly set the tray down on the bed.

On it were mugs of frothy cappuccino and croissants – some powered with sugar, some filled with peach jam, some featuring both. Two tiny, velvety, purple blossoms in a water-filled toothpick holder graced the setting as a centerpiece. The coffee steamed.

Carli was flabbergasted. She stared at the scene wide-eyed. "Alan, you’re an angel! What a nice surprise! How’d you know I’m starving?"

He blushed a little. "Thought you might like it."

"I love it, sweetheart! No one’s ever done this for me before!" Never timid, Carli picked up a jam-packed croissant and bit into it. "What’d you do? Tackle that damn cappuccino machine?"

She hated her cappuccino maker. She had never gotten it to work correctly.

"Yeah, it wasn’t that tough." Alan was sipping his coffee. Cream-colored foam appeared on his upper lip.

Carli picked up her own hot mug and eased closer to him. She carefully leaned over and licked the foam off as she kissed him. "Ahh, Alan……..with those gentle, skillful hands of yours on it, that freaking machine probably melted and did whatever you wanted," she whispered, kissing his ear.

Alan laughed, and his face colored crimson again. "All right now, Carli. Stop it. You’re gonna make a mess." He slipped an arm around her waist.

Still nuzzling him, she said quietly, "I’ll clean it up………I promise."

Alan kissed her mouth lovingly and tasted the sweetness of peach jam. His hand moved slowly down to her ass as he caressed her body.

"I pinched those little flowers off your African Violet. Hope ya don’t mind."

Carli looked into his eyes and smiled smugly. "Dearest, you can pinch anything I’ve got……..as many times as you want."

They had spent all the rest of that heavenly day in bed – first devouring pastries and coffee and then each other. With their respective obligations, Sunday was seldom a day they were allowed to spend alone together. So, feeling like they were stealing from the gods, they savored each tiny moment and wasted nothing. Their relationship was still fresh and mysterious enough to make them giddy with anticipation and to energize them beyond their imaginations.

Carli smiled to herself again now as she played it all back in her head. She had a sore vagina today as a result of their delicious and rigorous love-making. As if sex and love were brand new to the two of them, they had not been able to gorge themselves enough with each other. But that was fine too – they still had plenty of time together.

What did I ever do to deserve him? Carli thought. Alan Matthews, the seemingly dull former family man, had turned out to be all her hopes and wishes come to life. Never before had she loved so devotedly and fiercely.

"Well, if it isn’t Miss Jamieson! Fancy meeting you here! I can’t tell you how very nice it is to see you!"

The rather shrill voice, reeking of sarcasm, had startled Carli from her reverie. She jumped. Then she whirled around and realized who had approached her.

"Oh…….uh,……Hi, Amy." Alan’s ex-wife. Just the person Carli needed to see at that moment. Or any moment.

Amy was beaming a huge, insincere grin. She had seen Carli in the parking lot as she drove up and purposely parked near, craving a confrontation. "My, you’re looking well! You must be doing something new that agrees with you tremendously." Amy was shameless and bold with her bitter tone.

"I……um…….You’re looking good too, Amy." Carli stammered. She had no clue what to say to this woman. She feared saying something extremely offensive. She felt no pity for her, but no animosity either. She just wished like hell that she’d missed this conversation altogether.

"Ya think so? Well, I am doing something different now – sleeping alone………But you wouldn’t know ‘bout that, now would you, Miss Jamieson?"

Carli cringed inwardly. "You can call me ‘Carli.’……….Look, Amy, I’m sorry, but I really don’t have time to chat right now." She chose to avoid the subject Amy was attempting to bring out into the open.

"All right then, Carli. I won’t keep you." Amy glanced down at Carli’s package. "Studio Eleven. Isn’t that where they do those glamour shots? Make hideous trolls look decent with lots of makeup and then snap their picture?" She put on a mock serious expression.

"No……..It’s where they do intimate photographs……….in lingerie and stuff……..photos you wouldn’t put up on the wall." Carli felt perspiration break out on her upper lip. Couldn’t this just end?

"Nasty pictures? It’s an X-rated place? Isn’t that the kind of thing strippers and whores like to do?" Amy smiled, and it wasn’t meant to be friendly or warm.

"No, Amy……..This kind of picture is usually a gift for someone special……..someone you’re………extremely close to." Carli couldn’t bring herself to say "intimate" or "sleeping with." She knew Amy hadn’t taken the divorce well at all, and she didn’t want to intentionally worsen things for her by flaunting the facts.

Lightly slapping her forehead as if in surprise, Amy said, "Oh, I get it now! You make yourself look like a whore, get some sleazy photographer to take your picture, and then give the results to somebody you’re screwing!" Her laughter was loud and melodramatic. Almost hysterical.

"Amy—"

"And I happen to know that Alan’s birthday is the fourteenth……….So I guess that means he’ll be the lucky recipient!……..And you know how I know it’s his birthday, Carli?"

Carli said nothing. No sense in throwing kerosene on a blazing fire.

"Because I celebrated the last…….oh, 20 or so with him!"

"C’mon, Amy. This isn’t the place to get into this." Carli was growing restless and wanted desperately to leave.

"Oh, I think this is the perfect place," Amy continued. She seemed to be losing control of her voice. It was rising. And Carli noticed small beads of sweat on her forehead.

"I don’t wanna discuss it here or anywhere else, Amy. So please………I havta go."

Amy was furious. Her rage had been building up to this peak. "You havta go? Go where? To fuck and steal somebody else’s husband?"

Carli opened the door of her car. "I know you won’t believe me, but I really am sorry you had to suffer because of what happened…………Alan and I are happy now." She wanted to explain that she considered Alan a precious gift she’d been given, not something she’d stolen from someone or a prize she’d won in a contest. But she didn’t. The kerosene thing again.

Squinting her eyes hatefully, Amy lowered her voice. "Well, that’s wonderful news. I’m awfully glad you shared it with me. You two deserve each other, you slut."

Carli had heard enough. She turned away from Amy and jumped into her car. She tossed the photos on the seat beside her and sped off.

Her heart raced wildly in her chest, and she couldn’t restrain a few tears of anxiety. Her psyche had been so peaceful and joyous only moments ago. Why did that horribly upsetting scene have to happen?

Carli hoped that the ugly face-off had at least served to make Amy feel better because it had most definitely disconcerted her. She went straight to her house and lay down on the bed. As she took deep breaths to calm her riled spirit, she tried to feel Amy’s point of view of the situation.

Yes, I’d get maniacal too, she thought, if someone took Alan from me. She understood completely then that look of unfathomable loss she had recognized in Amy’s eyes.

Carli was totally unaware, however, that she had been watched by more eyes than Amy’s in that parking lot that afternoon.

* * *

"Hey, Alan. There’s your lady love," Jody Varner had said when he spotted Carli leaving the building. By sheer coincidence, he and Alan were having a late lunch at the upstairs restaurant that overlooked the parking lot. "That’s a real looker you got yourself this time, man."

Alan looked down and smiled when his eyes found her. "Yeah, she’s something. I plan on keeping her."

"Your divorce’s final and all that shit?"

"Just last week. Final on paper anyway. I still got lots of stuff over at the house that I gotta move………It’s a big damn mess, I tell ya."

Jody shook his head. "I wish sometimes that I had the balls to do that, buddy. Eula’s cheating ass can wear a man down, ya know?"

"You’ll know when you’re at your breaking point, when you just can’t take it anymore. Believe me." Alan had returned his attention to his steak.

But Jody was still peering out the window reflectively. Then something caught his eye, and he laughed. "Speaking of big damn messes, check THIS out, man!"

Alan looked out the window quickly just in time to see Amy come up on Carli from behind. "Oh, God," was all he could say. He knew very well how much anger and hostility Amy harbored for Carli. She’d told him many times since this whole thing had started.

He and Jody watched silently as the two women played out their confrontational scene. Although they could hear none of what was being said, the general gist of the conversation was quite apparent. When Carli hopped into her car and zoomed away, leaving Amy in a huff, Alan released a huge gulp of air he’d not been conscious he was holding in his lungs.

"Holy smokes, Alan. What do you suppose they coulda been talking ‘bout?" Jody laughed.

"Probably exchanging a lasagna recipe or something, I guess," Alan said with a sly grin.

"Uh, huh. And I’m the fucking Pope," Jody said.

"Guess I’ll havta have a talk with that bitch. I don’t want her going ‘round creating public scenes like that."

"And then go home and nail the other one……….It’ll make ya feel better," Jody offered.

Alan headed straight to the nearest florist when they had finished lunch. It was bothering him more and more that Amy had so brazenly "attacked" Carli like that. How vicious had his ex been? How much damage had she done to his Carli? How was Carli handling it? He wanted badly to call her and find out, but it didn’t feel right.

Carli, he knew, was kind and good-hearted. She would never be willingly hateful or hurtful to anyone else, and she didn’t deserve the blame and reproach it had appeared she received today. But Amy, he also knew, was still lashing out at whomever she could find in retaliation for her severe pain. Me and my desires, he mused. We’ve changed some lives, haven’t we?

So Alan resolved to swiftly deal with both aspects of this messy situation – the bright side first. He ordered a dozen pale orange roses to be delivered to Carli at her house before the day was over. On the card, he wrote only: Just ‘cause I love you. You’re the bestest. Love, Alan. That should cheer her up if she was feeling down.

After he closed the wilderness adventure store that evening, he tackled the unpleasant side of things. At his old house, Morgan was the only one of the children who was home that afternoon. Eric was still on his tour of Europe with his friends, and Cory was out with Topanga.

It was Morgan, though, who had the least problems with their parents’ breakup. Daddy’s little girl. She’d seemed to understand and accept what the boys could not– that their mother and father were in misery more than in love and that a change was inevitable, no matter how extreme and painful.

Morgan had embraced the turn of events and even spent time with her dad over at Carli’s house. She and Carli got along famously, much to Amy’s chagrin. More fuel for her fiery hatred.

Amy came into the kitchen when she heard Alan and Morgan chatting. She stood in the background and watched father and daughter sitting at the kitchen talking, like old times. Before the scene could sadden her more, she broke into their conversation.

"What brings you over here, Alan?"

"Sweetheart, lemme talk to your mother for a minute. Okay?" Morgan dutifully left the room, and Alan stood up from the table. He was trying hard to leash his temper.

"I saw you at the shopping center with Carli today, Amy." His voice was strained.

"Oh, she sent you over here? She can’t fight her own battles? Huh, Alan?"

"She knows nothing about this. I’m here on my own………….I don’t know what the hell you said to her, but I don’t want you talking to her again…………ever. If you got something to say, some steam to blow off, then say it to me, Amy. Leave Carli alone. She didn’t do a damn thing."

Amy’s face was a mask of disbelief. "Didn’t do anything? Are you kidding me? She’s the whore that broke up our family!"

Alan clenched his fists but stood still. "I broke up our family, Amy. Carli’s not a whore. You should be blaming me, not her. She’s never even said an unkind word ‘bout you."

Amy looked down. Alan guessed she didn’t want him to see her wet eyes. "Get outta here, Alan. I don’t need this crap from you."

"Fine. I’m going………..But don’t go ‘round her again…….I mean it."

Amy didn’t look up or speak again. So he left without saying good-by to Morgan. He’d accomplished his goal. Carli was vindicated.

When Alan arrived at Carli’s house, she didn’t even question why he was an hour late. She was too overjoyed. She jumped into his arms and wrapped herself around him. Any heaviness still hanging around his heart vanished instantly. He laughed and hugged her.

"They’re beautiful, Alan!" she shrieked excitedly. The roses sat on display in the living room.

"You’re beautiful, Carli. You deserve them."

"Why are you doing such wonderful things for me lately, honey?" She was wetly kissing his neck, tickling him.

"Because I love you, sweetie. Isn’t that enough?"

"Oh, Alan, I love you too…………I have forever………And for dinner I made you the best damn lasagna I’ve ever cooked."

Alan almost choked on his chuckle. Lasagna. Probably exchanging a lasagna recipe or something, I guess he had said to Jody. Irony was spooky sometimes.

If Carli had been troubled by her altercation with Amy that afternoon, she showed no signs of it that evening. Alan waited patiently for her to bring up the subject, but she didn’t. Not that night, not ever. Typical of her, he thought later. She had swallowed it all down on her own, opting to not worry him with "her little problems." She was amazing. He wished he’d sent her three dozen roses.

* * *

Alan’s birthday technically fell on Sunday. Carli, however, had planned for the celebrations to begin Friday evening as soon as he closed his store. She had bought him a special gift for each day of the weekend – three in all. She was, it seemed, more exhilarated about the event than he was. She was bubbly and eager like a child at Christmas.

On Friday night, she took him outside town to a cozy, romantic Italian restaurant where they ate pasta and drank Chianti by candlelight. Julie had suggested this place because Roger had taken her there on their first non-official date.

The evening had turned out beautifully. It was a long, leisurely meal, and they felt as if they were the only two people around – in their own pleasant little universe. Alan was now quite comfortable out in public with Carli, and she was bursting with happiness to finally be able to love him openly, the way she wanted to.

Her bright eyes danced in the flickering light of the candle’s flames. Those eyes of hers moved things inside Alan he had forgotten could be moved. How had he ever lived without her?

When they eventually returned home, he made love to her slowly and affectionately – first bringing her to a powerful, bursting orgasm with his darting tongue on her swollen little trigger spot. Then he positioned himself between her welcoming thighs and thrust into her while she still throbbed inside.

Her body was firm and delightful to him, still relatively new territory. He kissed her nipples and gently squeezed her breasts as he rode her. When she threw her head back and peaked again, he felt her tremble under him, and the sensation drove him to his own blinding explosion. He couldn’t hold back any longer.

"Damn, Carli. I’m gonna fill you up," he gasped just before he blasted inside her.

On Saturday, they drove up to the mountains and had a picnic under some shade trees. All alone. And again ideally romantic. The weather was a bit hot, but Alan and Carli were both so feverish already that they hardly noticed.

"I can’t even begin to remember the last picnic lunch I had," he told her.

She smiled. "There’s a ton of things I want to remind you how to do, my love. You gotta learn to live again."

That evening was spent dining at Renaissance, Julie’s gracious gift to the birthday boy. She had set aside a secluded choice table for the couple, and heaped specially-made non-menu items on them. Gratis, of course.

Not to be outdone by his better half, Roger had insisted that Alan and Carli stop by the Snake Pit first. He had reserved a bottle of Dom Perignon for them to begin their festivities with.

"I had no idea he gave a damn," Carli whispered to Alan. "He’s always so aloof."

"Roger’s cool. He just prefers to be alone."

"Except for Julie," she said.

"Yeah. Except for Julie. I can’t imagine him without Julie now."

* * *

Another Sunday. Another near-perfect day. The gods allowed them to spend this one sweetly alone again, like the previous weekend. Alone, but entwined in each other.

Carli snuggled close to Alan and kissed his face until he woke up that morning. "Happy birthday, love ‘o my life," she whispered in his ear when he groggily opened his eyes.

"Umph," was his response as he rolled over into her arms.

She lightly bit his earlobe. "I made breakfast……….so you can keep your strength up, sweetheart."

"You’re gonna kill me, Carli………keeping me up late night having sex and stuff and then waking me so early in the morning……..I’m an old man, you forget," he said against her neck.

"Oh, Alan……..We’re just getting started."

Later, while they ate French toast in bed, Carli’s eyes lit up. "I’ve got one more gift for you, babe! I almost forgot!"

As Alan gazed at the "intimate portraits" she had made just for him, he was astounded, entranced. His breathing became noticeably heavier. "Carli………jeez……..These are fantastic……….You look so……..gorgeous…….You did this for me?"

She was pleased because he was pleased. "Today’s your special day, Alan. I wanna do everything I can to make it a fabulous one for you………I want you to be happy…………’cause you’ve made me so happy…….I love you."

He laid the photographs down gently and directed his gaze to her face. Her eyes were full of her emotions for him. He felt things inside him stirring again.

"Carli, my sweet angel, you’re all I need to make me happy………You’re the best gift of all………You make me feel things that I thought I’d never feel again……….You’re the kindest, most loving person I’ve ever known……..every day is special if you’re in it………Thank you, my love."

She rushed across the bed and into his arms then. Holding her, Alan felt like he was holding everything, everything he never knew he needed so much before now. It was the single most wonderful birthday he could remembering having in his entire lifetime.