By Micki L. Bailey

She lay in the hospital bed wondering where Roger was. He was all she could think of. The only person she wanted to see. And she’d surely seen everyone else on the planet today. At least everyone in this hospital. While she lay here. In this room. Where was he?

In her on-and-off stupor, she remembered it was Friday. He was working. Surely Vinnie or one of the nurses had tried to find him. After all, she’d asked them to only about nine hundred times.

Roger refused to wear a pager. “No fucking way,” he’d said on more than one occasion. “Who’s that damn important that I need to wear a pager for?” Well, he might wish he’d had one on today, she thought. Wasn’t she important enough?

And she knew what he’d say to that: “Ah, sweetheart. How was I supposed to know you’d start drinking wine at Cindy’s at noon on an empty stomach? In the ninety-degree sunshine? Hmm?”

That’s exactly what she’d done. Foolishly. She’d taken the day off and gone over to her friend’s penthouse pool to spend the afternoon. Bikinis, sunshine, white wine, soft music, gossip. What a wonderful afternoon.

But her heart murmur didn’t think it was all such a fabulous idea. When she got the pains in her chest, Cindy had called 911 on the cell phone. She’d been rushed to the nearest hospital in the screaming ambulance, wondering all the while why Roger didn’t appear on the scene to rescue her. ‘Cause, of course, that’s what she’d wanted.

“She has a mitral valve prolapse,” she heard her doctor tell Vinnie and Cindy as she was being wheeled to a private room after the emergency stuff was over. Cindy, who wanted very badly to sleep with Vinnie, had called him after she’d tried unsuccessfully to reach Roger at his “office” number. Vinnie had, in turn, put out lots of “feeler” calls to find Roger.

“Oh, doc, she knows about that heart condition thing. She’s told me about it,” Cindy had said to the doctor.

“Well, then, what was with the drinking alcohol out in the hot sun?”

“We didn’t think we’d had that much,” Cindy said.

“This one did. But she’ll be okay with some rest. Has anyone tried to locate her husband?”

Vinnie took his cue. “Yeah, I have. He’s being tracked down now. He’s in transit somewhere.”

So she lay there in this room and pretended to be unconscious even when she wasn’t. Cindy left after a couple of hours. And though she tried, she couldn’t get Vinnie to leave with her. He stayed.

Once when she was awake, he said to her, “Hey, there, you. Howya feeling?”

“Hey, Vinnie. I feel like shit. Do I look that bad?”

“No, sunshine. You look great.”

“Where’s Roger?”

“On his way. Promise. We found him. He knows. He said to tell ya he’ll be here as soon as he can.”

“I wanna see him,” she whispered. She thought she was completely coherent, but maybe she was kind of sleepy. Maybe she sounded too desperate.

“Yeah, I know. He’ll be here soon.”

God, I know I’d be okay if I could just see him and hear him talking to me, she thought as she drifted back into the sedative-induced sleepfulness. A sleepfulness filled with memories….

Ah, the wedding. What a lovely little memory. In that small chapel on the Emory University campus. Only about a hundred people attended. And it had taken place on February 22, only two months and one week after he’d asked her, “So, ya wanna get married?” on December 15.

They’d wanted to see if they could have a “very short” engagement instead of the traditional “long” one that most people had. Roger had said he didn’t understand the extended waiting period. And she certainly didn’t want to wait for him. So they’d put together all the arrangements themselves in a few weeks and tied the knot quickly.

On the wedding day, a Saturday, she hadn’t seen him since the morning before. Vinnie and some of their friends had kept him occupied the night before with that bachelor party stuff. And she’d been busy herself with Diane and their bride-to-be party of their own. But she’d missed him. Oh, she’d missed him. After spending so many nights next to him, it was painful to spend even one without him.

That afternoon, as she got dressed in the antique ivory, lace, off-the-shoulders gown she’d found in a consignment shop for $350, there was a knock at the door of the room above the chapel. Lisa, her maid of honor, answered the door.

“It’s a package for you,” Lisa said and handed her the box.

She sat down, untied the ribbon and opened the little box. Then she gasped. It was an 18-karat gold, heart-shaped locket on a long gold chain. Inside the small locket was a color picture of her and Roger taken at a little state fair about a month after they’d met. Two years before. At one of those little booths. She’d completely forgotten about that picture. The note inside said, “Don’t forget to meet me downstairs.”

A tear snuck out of each eye before she could control it. And she smiled.

“What is it? Is it from Roger? Oh, look at you! Stop that! I worked so hard on that makeup!” Lisa screeched at her.

When she got ready to walk down the aisle in the chapel, she was wearing the new locket. And no other jewelry around her neck. She saw Roger on the right side of the altar with his back to her at first. He wore solid black cut-away tails with a long, thin black silk tie.

As the music began and she started her walk between the guests, he slowly turned around to look at her. She was watching only him. And then, as she saw his face, she burst out with a little laugh. He was wearing the coolest black sunglasses she’d ever seen. Inside the church. At their wedding. And, of course, he wasn’t smiling. Just staring at her with that thin-cheek, pursed-lip look she loved. She had to laugh. Hell, it was her wedding. And he was about to become hers forever.

When she laughed, he smiled, just for a second. Just for her.

“Hey, are ya waking up?” Vinnie was still there with her. She was very groggy, but she knew she wasn’t at her wedding anymore.

“I’m awake. You’re still here? What time is it?” She knew she sounded hateful, but she didn’t care.

“About 6:30. Howya feeling?”

She looked around the room. “I still feel like shit, since you asked. I’ve got the headache of death. Where in the hell is Roger?”

“I don’t know. He’s been—”

She was ill, in more ways than one. She lost her patience. “Vinnie! Read my lips! I want to see my husband! Not you! Get out of my face and go find him! Okay?!”

“He’s here, sweetheart. He’s been in this room for the past hour and a half. Waiting for ya to wake up. He’s in your doctor’s office right now talking to him about your condition. I’ll go get him. Okay?”

“That would be so nice.” She watched Vinnie slink out of the room and didn’t even feel regret. Roger was like balm to her soul. She wouldn’t be okay again until he was around. She drifted back into unconsciousness.

Then, a little later, she woke up again. No dreams this time. Just nothingness between Vinnie leaving and now. Vinnie wasn’t anywhere to be seen this time. But someone else was standing next to the window in her room. He was wearing a long overcoat and had his back to her. The room was dimly lit, but she recognized him immediately.

“Hey, stranger,” she said loud enough for him to hear.

He turned around. Roger. He was stunning to her. As usual. He smiled at her.

“Hey…..” He was at her side then and sitting on the edge of the bed next to her. “You okay?” He almost whispered.

“Oh, I’m okay now,” she said and smiled.

“You scared the shit out of me.” He brushed hair off her forehead. “I might have to beat your ass and Cindy’s for doing this, ya know.” He smiled again.

“She’d love it if you even looked at her ass.” She soaked him in. He was so refreshing to her.

“Then I guess I won’t. Feeling better?” He was staring at her, trying to read her face. She let him.

“Well enough for you to take me home.” She put her hand into his. He closed his over hers.

“Dr. Musani says that’s up to you. Why don’t you just stay in here and rest tonight? It’s 8:00, for Christsake.”

“Roger, no! If I can go home, then take me home. Please.”

He laughed. “You’re some piece of work. Fucking yourself up like this and then begging me to take you home and take care of you.”

“Oh, don’t bitch at me now. I’m not in the mood. Besides, you’ll have plenty of time for that tomorrow.”

“Okay. Let’s go. Oh, by the way, wanna stop by Stooges on the way home for a glass of wine, darling?” He raised his eyebrows for a moment and smiled again.

“Roger, I don’t feel so hot, but I’ll damn sure kick your ass if you keep that shit up.”

He laughed that snickering laugh. “Feisty little girl of mine. Even when she’s down and out in the hospital. Always with the funny lines.” He raised her hand to his mouth and kissed the back of it. Her heart leapt inside her.

“I wasn’t too nice to Vinnie. And he stayed here with me ‘til you got here.”

She was sitting up on the side of the bed, He’d gotten up and was taking her clothes out of the tiny closet. He said, “Yeah, he said you were your usual bitchy self. So I knew you’d live.”

She threw the pillow at him. “You asshole.”

He laughed. “Here. Put this on. And shut up.”

He checked her out of the hospital and took her home. They went to bed. No sex, just cuddling. He held her as she wrapped herself around him in their bed.

This is all I’ll ever need, she thought. All I’ll ever need.