By Rachel Torrent

“Okay. I’ve got a bitch of a plan, but it’ll only work under one condition,” Sahndra was saying to Christine.

“And what’s that?”

“You gotta have a key to the penthouse.” Sahndra held her breath, hoping.

“Not a problem.”

“Yes!”

They were seated in Christine’s elegantly and plushly furnished living room on the Sunday afternoon following their boyfriends’ big night out with the strippers, the party about which the girlfriends/wives weren’t supposed to find out. And now these two girlfriends were jointly plotting revenge on the secret party’s instigator, the mastermind and host – Scottie LaMont.

“I gave him some house plants not long ago. And he accepted them only if I agreed to water them when he’s outta town. So I got a key,” Christine explained. Sahndra wondered if Christine felt like she had to justify to her the possession of a key to Scottie’s apartment.

“I wish like hell that I’d gone up there last night to water the damn things.” Scottie’s girlfriend lived in the same building that he did.

“Now THAT I would sell tickets to!” Sahndra said as they laughed.

“Hey, Sahndra? You’re sure ya don’t mind me being so open with all this stuff about Scottie and me?”

“Pshaw! Don’t be silly, Christine!”

“I know how hard it can be to see your ex with someone new,” Christine said sincerely.

Without showing the slight reluctance she was feeling, Sahndra said, “Look, Christine. I had my time with him, and that’s over now………..It’s your turn………….I’ve got Earl Ray………for whatever THAT’S worth right now.” They laughed again. “Now here’s what we’ll do………….”

* * *

Scottie woke up an hour later amidst his black silk sheets and instantly leapt up off his stomach in utter shock at what he saw. “What in the fuck are YOU doing here?” he screamed.

Sahndra was lying in his bed, next to where he’d been only seconds earlier. She was wearing just her slip and smiling sweetly at him. “Good morning, darling. Or I should say ‘afternoon’ now. And ‘fuck’ is a very appropriate word to use. Don’tcha remember anything about last night?”

Scottie’s face was a mask of complete amazement. Terror even. He walked back to the bed’s edge now, feeling the physical effects of jumping up so quickly with such a severe hangover.

“Shit. I gotta sit down…….What about last night? What in the hell are you talking about?” He was naked, of course. Sahndra knew he would be, and this contributed positively to the scenario. Plus, she personally enjoyed it.

She made her voice drip with mock tenderness. “It was you and me again, babe…….Just like old times. And God, you were good, Scottie. I’d forgotten how good.”

He stared at her wildly. His hair was everywhere, out of control. “You weren’t here last night, Sahndra. I’m not fucking crazy!”

She laughed. “Oh, honey, you were a little bombed, but surely you remember the hours of love- making and how ya promised we’d never be apart again………I love you so much, Scottie. I’m glad we worked it out.” Sahndra surprised herself with her ability to keep her face straight.

Scottie grimaced and buried his head in his hands. True misery. She took the opportunity to gawk at his admirable body. “No! This isn’t fucking happening! It CAN’T be! What about Christine?”

Sahndra sat up and leaned against a pile of pillows. “Ah, sweetheart, I took care of that just like you said to………I called her and told her to back the hell off………….that I was reclaiming my true love.” She smiled again, dramatically.

Scottie winced. “Omigod! You didn’t! I’m totally screwed!” Desperation in his voice.

“I’d like you to totally screw me again, honey. I can’t get enough of you. How ‘bout it?”

He peered at her for a moment. “Sahndra……….I got trashed last night, I know………and I remember some of what went on………but you weren’t around.” He didn’t know what else to say. His eyes were screaming panic.

She leaned over to him and put her hand on his thigh. It was warm and moist. He flinched. “Baby, don’t worry ‘bout it. I’m not offended that you don’t remember………I’m just glad I came over to talk……….We can start over now like you said. You and me………..forever.”

Scottie’s face wrinkled up, as if in pain.. “This is a fucking nightmare! Somebody wake me up!”

On queue, Christine stood in the bedroom’s doorway now. She looked miserable and dejected. Perfect.

“I’ll wake you up, baby doll………..one last time……….God, I’m gonna miss ya, Scottie.”

Scottie jerked his head in her direction, and Sahndra thought she saw him shudder. Before he could speak, she said, “What are you doing here, Christine? I thought I told you that he’s mine now!” Sahndra moved up close to Scottie now for effect.

Scottie dropped his head back and squeezed his eyes tightly. “No! No! No! What’s going on here?”

“I just had to get some of my things…………I’ll see ya, Scottie………..It was great while it lasted.” Christine retreated.

Scottie peered at Sahndra, horror-stricken. She smiled and backed up just slightly, keeping her hand on his leg. “Looks like we’re alone again, love.”

He jumped up then and grabbed his robe this time. As he threw it on and tied it around his waist quickly, he stepped into the hallway where he could see Christine sitting in the messy living room. She’d already started to laugh. He was playing into their hands perfectly, as if he’d read the script.

Through the sleep grogginess and hangover haze, small but sharp beams of understanding began to penetrate Scottie’s brain. He glanced from Christine and her hysterical guffawing to Sahndra and her Cheshire-Cat grin. And he felt very nauseous. Informed now, but sick all over. This really was a fucking nightmare.

“You’re such a buffoon, Scottie! A sucker and a loser!” Christine shouted to him, convulsing with laughter.

“A goddamn asshole is more like it,” Sahndra said from the bed.

Scottie found his weak voice. “You two bitches………..Ya think you’re really damn cute, don’tcha?”

“We know we’re damn cute, Scottie. Lots cuter than those whores you had here last night,” Sahndra gushed with her anger.

Christine was approaching him. “Yeah, you lying bastard. Out of town, huh? We’ll just see if I ever trust you again.” She had stopped laughing. The humor was now scorn.

“C’mon, Christine……..It was a last-minute deal. A cancellation of my plans………….Me and the boys just got together.”

“Bullshit, Scottie. And I don’t wanna hear any more lies.” Christine was serious. Sahndra was glad to see her stand up to him.

“Yeah, dickhead. You got Earl Ray lying to me too. You’re just a godawful influence, Scottie. And I wish you’d stay the fuck away from me and my boyfriend.” Sahndra had stood up and was putting her dress back on.

“Girls! C’mon! We were just enjoying a little entertainment! No large deal!” Sahndra knew she’d heard Scottie sound much stronger, more sure of himself, than he did now. She felt somewhat vindicated.

He was holding his stomach and looking back and forth at both of the women.

“And you, partyman, will be entertaining your own damn self for a long time. Let’s go, Sahndra. This prick is no large deal,” Christine said.

Sahndra followed her out as Scottie watched. He wanted to convince them to stay, but he just didn’t feel like making the effort. He was in the bathroom by the time they slammed his front door.

In the hallway, they faced each other and grinned. Their plan had gone off smashingly.

“We got his ass,” Sahndra said.

“Yeah, I think so. And it feels damn good.”

“You said it.”

Then they hugged each other and went back downstairs to Christine’s apartment.

As they prepped for their date with Ben and Tyler, Sahndra said to her, “Christine, I don’t mean to bring ya down or anything, but…………be careful around Scottie.”

“In what way?”

“He has the potential to………..fool around.” Sahndra had to spit the words out. The bonding had made her feel obligated.

Christine looked sad. “I kinda figured. He seems like the type.”

“He may not ever do it to you………….if you even give him another chance………but I just wanted to make you aware of it,” Sahndra told her.

“Thanks, Sahndra. You’re a pal.”

“Don’t mention it. Now let’s go and find us some sexy, fuckable men we can rub ourselves all over.”

“You don’t havta tell me twice.”

* * *

Several days later, Scottie gathered his nerve and ventured into Renaissance. He expected Julie to be pissed at him too since Roger had also been at his little bash-gone-wrong. He decided to just find her and get the inevitable scene over with.

She wasn’t in the kitchen although he’d seen her car outside. So he walked down the hallway to her office. And, as if she’d smelled him, she walked out of her office and almost bumped into him. Her usual warm smile for him was absent, replaced by a cold stare.

Using all the force she had in her body, Julie placed both of her palms on his broad chest and shoved him backwards. His surprise, not her strength, allowed her to push him against the wall behind him. She glared into his eyes.

“I’ve been waiting for you to show your face, you sonofabitch.”

Scottie tried to feign friendliness. "Hey, Jules! How've ya been?” He smiled and stood still behind her hands.

“I’ve BEEN better, thanks to you. That was some little trick you pulled Saturday night, Scottie.”

“Sorry, Jules……….It won’t happen again. Believe me.”

She back off from him now. “It had better not………or I’ll have your head on a spit.”

“Is Roger still…………being punished?”

“Why don’t ya go ask him? He may or may not gut you with the pool stick,” Julie said. Still no warm smile.

“I really am sorry. It was a dumb move.”

“Is Christine still punishing you?”

He sighed. “You could call it that. I’m trying my damnedest to make it up to her……….She and Sahndra really fucked me over Sunday.”

“So I heard.” Julie finally laughed.

“Pull Roger back in, Julie. He loves you. He didn’t mess up that night.”

“That’s great, Scottie, coming from you. Mr. Fidelity.”

Scottie screwed up his face. “Ouch. You’re killing me, babe.”

“Kiss my ass and mind your own business, you creep.”

He chuckled, almost inaudibly. “The Julie I know and love.”

“You know Earl Ray’s in the same boat as Roger, don’tcha?”

“Yeah, yeah. I really screwed up this time,” Scottie said quietly.

“I hope all you boys had a damn good time that night.”

Scottie grabbed her and hugged her. “Just don’t be mad at me. Okay, Jules?”

“Okay, Scottie. As long as you swear you won’t try to get away with shit like that again.”

“Never again. I swear.”