by Rachel Torrent

When Julie awoke from her drug-induced nap, she felt like new again. Her aching abdomen had settled down, and her psyche was refreshed and avenged. She’d said the hateful things she’d wanted to say to Earl Ray, the harsh words she needed to get out in order to cleanse her insides. To flush out the hurt.

Because he’d closed the bedroom door to block out noises, and because she could smell it, she knew he’d been cooking. She smiled. He’ll be doing lots of groveling and bending over backwards for me to atone for this one, she thought to herself. This one qualified as their worst all-time rift.

Julie hauled herself out of the bed she’d slept in alone for three nights now and went to take a long, hot shower. She remembered a few times when they’d been in this very shower together -- touching, fondling, kissing, lathering up, running out of hot water, and then quickly falling into bed, still wet, not being able to get enough of each other.

She hadn’t been near him like that in almost a week. But when she re-imagined his face as he stormed out of their bedroom with a packed bag, the tender longing was immediately clouded over by her anger. “Knocked you up and then walked out on you,” Sahndra had said. “That bastard.”

Julie slowly got dressed and made up her face. It didn’t surprise her that Earl Ray did not come in to check on her. He’d been blown back by her breathing-fire words earlier, and now he’d wait this one out.

Completely together now, she walked down the hallway and into the kitchen. Her husband was sitting at the breakfast bar reading the evening newspaper. When she came in, he quickly put it down as he looked up. She glanced from him to the colossal vase of red roses at the end of the bar.

“I brought those for you. I didn’t know you’d be sleeping when I came home this afternoon.” He sounded nervous, anxious. Treading lightly.

“What is it? Two dozen?”

“Three. One for each lousy day.” He watched her, waited for her reaction.

Finally, after a few seconds, she looked back at him. He seemed too unsure to even smile at her.

“I would rather have had you here with me. I really needed you.”

He let out a sigh and stood up. As he walked around the bar to get to her, he said, “Honey, I know. But let’s not talk about it again right now. Let’s have dinner. I made you some chicken and vegetables over noodles. You love that.” He tried to embrace her, but she didn’t hug him back.

“Julie, please…,” he pleaded softly into her hair.

Then she laid her head down on his shoulder but still didn’t put her arms around him. He stroked her hair.

“You’re gonna have to give me a little time, Earl Ray. I’m wounded.” She knew he understood “wounded.” He was a war veteran.

“Okay………..Whatever you want……Just tell me what I need to do. I’ll do whatever it takes, baby.” And she knew he was sincere.

She could feel his heart beating, a little fast. She put her right hand on his chest. “Just give me some time.”

“All the time you need. And when you’re ready………I’m not going anywhere else.”

They ate the chicken dish in the dining room without saying much. There wasn’t much to say.

“Are ya feeling all right? I mean…….with…….,” he tried to ask her.

“Yeah. The cramps have been a bitch, but I’m taking that medicine.”

“Do ya think ya just lost the baby?”

She had been looking down at her plate and eating. When he said this, she stopped chewing and glared up at him across the table. Her look must have said, “You haven’t even come close to earning back the right to ask me something that personal yet.” She didn’t actually say a word out loud.

“Sorry……..Uh…..Feel like going to a movie tonight?” He didn’t want to spoil the civility they’d finally established.

“I gotta go to the restaurant for a little while. Caleb says the grill is acting up. I need to check on it,” Julie said, looking back up at him.

He was visibly disappointed. “Oh. Caleb can’t handle it? Is it something I can fix?”

“If Caleb could handle it, he would. He hates to bother me at home. And no, I doubt it’s something you can fix. I’ll probably have to call the service people tomorrow. I’ll be back in an hour or so.”

“Okay. I’ll be right here.”

Julie offered to clean up the kitchen before she left at 7:45, but Earl Ray refused to let her. As she’d expected he would.

At Renaissance, she parked in front and was locking the car door when Jack French drove his Range Rover in beside her. He got out. He looked as sparkling and fresh as if it were 7:45 a.m. instead of p.m.

“Hey, Jack. You come here every night?”

“Well, I would. If I knew I’d see you every night.” What a bedroom voice Jack had. Even in a dark parking lot.

“Very flattering. But talk will get you nowhere.” Some women might find Jack offensive, sexist even. Julie did not. She liked Jack.

“Oh, that’s not true, Julie. Talk gets me in lots of places.” He laughed, and she felt her heart speed up a little. This man could be called dazzling.

“I’ll bet, Jack. I’m sure you’ve been in more places because of your mouth than you can count.” She smiled at him. He caught the double entendre.

“Yes. I have. Including back alleyways too.” He was smart and smooth.

He winked at her and put his hand on the back of her neck as they walked in the restaurant. He smelled good. Jack always smelled good. For a second, Julie wondered how he tasted.

Once in the bar/grill side, Julie asked him if he was there for dinner.

“Oh, can’t I just stay with you?” He wrinkled up his brow and squinted his eyes. “Being with you in this place is like walking around a full palace with the queen. Isn’t there another tour you can give me or something?”

She laughed at his mock-begging expression. He made her feel good. He made her feel attractive and wanted, and she needed that right now.

“Okay, Jack. C’mon back to the kitchen. I’m only here long enough to check the grill. Then I gotta get home.”

“Ah, is the husband kinda back home like he was kinda out of town last night?”

Julie turned around and looked at him. She realized that he knew the whole story. Probably from Roger, she thought. He smiled his charming Jack smile.

“Yeah…….He’s kinda back,” she said. “Look. I need to get something here in my office. Hold on.”

She ducked into her office off the kitchen and turned on the lamp on her desk. Jack followed her, of course. He’d left his suit coat in the Range Rover and now had his shirt unbuttoned and his tie loosened around his neck. Julie felt his presence in the room behind her but really didn’t mind him being there. If I wasn’t having trouble at home, she thought, I’d be upset that he’s here now.

She dropped her purse on her desk and turned around. Jack was two feet behind her, pretending to look around the room.

“Nice office,” he said quietly.

“It’s nothing special. I don’t get to spend much time back here.”

Jack had been looking into her eyes and smiling at her while she spoke. Now he inched his way over to her until they were face to face, almost touching. She could smell him and see every tiny wrinkle under his eyes. His beautiful, twinkling eyes. She held her breath.

Jack touched her neck, just under her right ear, with the backs of his fingers and slid his hand down along her jawbone to her chin. Lightly. Seductively. She felt chill bumps on her arms.

“You look lovely tonight. Rested.” He spoke softly still as he planted his feet alongside her feet, and his stomach rubbed against hers for a second. She knew she should stop this.

“Jack, this isn’t……I mean we shouldn’t…..”

“Shhhhhhhh,” he said, putting his finger to her lips. She wanted to lick it for taste, but didn’t. She was mesmerized by his eyes.

Then he moved his hand back to her neck and slid his fingers slowly down her throat, over her chest, and to her breasts. He ran his fingertips and palm gently around her left breast and then tenderly cupped it.

“Jack, please stop.” She was breathing hard and could only whisper.

“Ah, Julie. Your nipples are hard. That turns me on,” he whispered back to her as he lightly palmed her other breast.

“This isn’t fair, Jack. You know I’m weak. Less able to resist you.”

“Fair has little to do with life. I’m interested only in pleasing you.”

As he said this to her softly, he pressed his body against hers and his mouth onto hers. He kissed her. She felt him through the pleated brown pants. He had put his hands on the desk that she was leaning against. On each side of her hips. Before she could resist, she found herself responding to his mouth and kissing him back. The tip of his warm tongue touched hers, and she finally tasted him. It made her want more of him. But she knew this was the do-or-die point.

She pulled back from him. “Please don’t, Jack. I can’t. I’m married, and I love him. And as much as I’d like you on me, I don’t want you on my conscience.”

He looked surprised as he licked his lips. “But we could be so good.”

“I know. Too good. I can tell. But I just can’t do it. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to lead you on. Would you please leave?”

He backed up a step, the front of his pants slightly jutting out. “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure. You can go down that hallway to the back door. No one will see you.”

“Are we still friends?”

“Of course we’re still friends, Jack.”

“Okay. I’ll leave this time. But the next time Earl Ray’s kinda out of town, you won’t get off the hook so easy.”

Jack smiled at her again and wiped her lipstick off his mouth. Then he turned around and sauntered out of the room. Julie let out a deep breath. She watched him go and almost wished she could scream at him to stay.

She stayed in her office another fifteen minutes before she felt stable enough to face other people. She sat behind her desk and thought about the incident. She’d been moved by Jack French. Turned on by him. She’d even willingly responded to his advances. A first for her since she’d married Earl Ray. Had she cheated? No, she didn’t think so. It was just a kiss. Maybe cheated in her mind. But she’d done that many times before. She figured Earl Ray had done the same. It was natural, wasn’t it? Could Jack be considered natural?

She and Caleb decided that the grill needed servicing by the company that sold it to them. He said he’d take care of it tomorrow. “You just scoot along home now,” he said to her with a wink.

“What?” She asked him. Did everyone know about her problems with her husband?

“It’s a night off for you, Jules. I know you want to spend it with Earl Ray,” Caleb said, smiling.

“Yeah. Whatever. I’ll see ya.”

Julie left. She wondered why her cook seemed so concerned about her schedule and her personal life. Unlike him. But she forgot about it when she got to her car. Jack’s Range Rover was gone, but he’d left a tiny note on her windshield. “Until next time……” was all it said. He hadn’t even signed it. But she knew. Yes, she knew. She tore it up. Smiling.

Back at home, Earl Ray was watching television and drinking a beer (imported) when she came inside. She was instantly glad to be home. Home where it was safe from temptations like Jack French.

“Hey, sweetheart. Did ya fix it?” He turned the sound down and sat up.

“Fix what?”

“The grill. You said the grill was screwing up.”

“Oh, yeah. The service people are coming tomorrow.” She didn’t make any move to stay in the den.

He stood up. “I went out and got ya some chocolate ice cream. Want some?”

“Not right now. I’m a little beat. I think I’ll just go to bed.”

He was disappointed again and couldn’t hide it. “But you slept all afternoon.”

She wheeled around on him. With that glare again. “Yes, I did. And I’m still tired tonight because for three days and nights I DIDN’T sleep because I was worrying about your ass! Anything else?”

She didn’t wait for an answer. She just turned and walked to the bedroom. He didn’t call out after her or follow her. She washed her face and changed into her gown. Then she climbed into bed and turned off the lights.

She was lonely, though. She even cried a couple of tears. The bed was cold and big. So she was glad when Earl Ray came to bed about a half hour later and sneaked into bed beside her without even turning on the light. She pretended to be asleep, but she smiled to herself when he pressed himself up against her back and put his arm over her. The feel and smell of him were nice. She could fall asleep then.

The next day, he got up very early. He had on his jeans and a brown T-shirt and socks when she woke up. He was sitting on the end of the bed putting on his boots.

“What the hell time is it?”

He looked over his shoulder at her and smiled. “Six thirty. I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

“Why are you up? The store doesn’t open ‘til nine.”

“I gotta take care of some stuff early. But I’m coming back home in a few hours,” he said.

“Why?”

“Aren’t you off today? I wanna see you.”

“Earl Ray, don’t---”

“If ya don’t wanna see me, that’s fine too. I’ll go downstairs out of your way. But I wanna be here. So go back to sleep. I’ll see ya later. I’ll bring lunch.”

He blew her a kiss and left before she could protest anymore. She pulled the covers over her head and managed to go back to sleep for a couple more hours. Then she drank coffee and showered and put her robe back on. She got more coffee and got back into bed. Her period had stopped, and she felt whole again.

All night she’d dreamed about Jack. She couldn’t get him out of her mind this morning. She felt his mouth on hers, his tongue touching her tongue. She felt his hands on her breasts through her blouse.

She untied the robe and moved her hands over her body while imagining Jack’s hands on her. Jack’s hands with no clothes to stop them. She treated herself to an entire fantasy sequence of sex with Jack, in her office, on her desk. The erotic daydream ended in a violent, mind-blowing climax, long- overdue for Julie.

Oh, my, Jack. What an fantasy. Cheating only in her mind.

After she could breathe normally again, Julie got up and got dressed. She felt fabulous. For the time being at least, Jack French was out of her system. She was ready to concentrate on her marriage again. Ready to try. Ready for things to return to what they used to be. If that was possible. She waited in the den for Earl Ray to come back home. And he did. About eleven o’clock.

He brought some sandwiches from the deli and was happy to see her waiting for him. They ate at the breakfast bar, not saying much to each other. Then he cleaned up the mess while she sat down again in the den. He joined her but sat in a chair away from her. She wondered what would happen next.

“Who’s minding the store?” she asked him.

“Does it matter? It’s taken care of. And I’m here. With you.” He smiled at her. He was a little more sure of himself today.

“Thanks for lunch.” Julie was feeling awkward. Not in control.

“So……..Ready for dessert?”

“Chocolate ice cream?”

“No.” He smiled again and then pulled a little blue velvet box out of his jacket that was laying beside him on the chair arm. “This might be better.” He handed it to her.

She hesitated. “You didn’t have to buy me anything,” she said to him.

“Yes, I did. I was a dick. You deserve it. Go on. Take it.”

She took the little box and untied the white ribbon. Inside, she found seven huge pearls on a 14-karat gold chain. “Oh, Earl Ray, it’s beautiful.”

“A real pearl necklace. And seven’s your lucky number. I went over to the place yesterday before I came home and had them make it specially for ya. If you don’t like it--”

“I love it. I’ve never seen one like it.”

“And ya won’t. It was made just for you. ‘Cause I love you.”

She looked up at him and smiled at him for the first time in days. “Thank you,” was all she could say. She had tears in her eyes.

“Don’t start that crying. Please. I have another surprise.”

“What, honey? What else?”

“Well……..I’ve made some reservations for that little bed and breakfast place ya wanted to go to up in the mountains. I got the best room upstairs. It even has its own bathroom.”

She laughed in surprise. He was too much. She certainly hadn’t expected this much retribution.

“Really? That place is booked up for months in advance. How’d you do that?”

“It was a bitch. But I managed it. So we leave in the morning.”

“Earl Ray, I gotta work this week.”

It was his turn to laugh. “No. I took care of that too. Alex and Caleb both said they’d work your shifts. I bribed them. And they want ya to get away. They’ll mind your store. You can pack tonight……..That is…….if ya wanna go somewhere with me.”

Julie let a tear fall out of each eye. This explained Caleb’s strange behavior last night. “I guess I could force myself to spend some time alone with you.” She smiled at him again.

He got up and sat down beside her on the couch. “Let me put that on you.” And she turned around while he did. Then she turned back to him.

“Thank you, Earl Ray. I don’t know what to say.”

“Well, maybe soon, you can say ya forgive me for what I did. I’m sorry. I want ya to believe me.”

“Will you still give me the warm, fake pearl necklaces too? The ones that get squirted out?”

He laughed and blushed. “From now on, I’ll give you whatever you want. No matter what it is.”