by Rachel Torrent

Earl Ray sat in Sahndra’s living room with a beer. Still waiting for her to come home. He was trying desperately not to worry about where she was. Attempting with all his inner strength not to believe that she was standing him up. He couldn’t find a note from her anywhere.

They had spent that morning, a beautiful Sunday morning, together in bed with newspapers, coffee, and breakfast. The way he’d always loved to do. The way he was teaching Sahndra to love too.

He had called Julie the day before for instructions on making Belgian waffles. Neither he nor Sahndra had been sure if he’d done things right or not, but what delicious fun it had been to feed the results to each other in bed.

How sensual it was for him to watch and feel her mouth as she sucked whipped cream off his fingers. And other parts of his anatomy too. And oh, how much better the whipped cream had tasted to him on her nipples and between her legs. He couldn’t seem to get enough of it and had licked her crevices and folds until she was screaming his name. He’d also had to leave some cream of his own in the warm, snug valley between her breasts. He felt his penis hardening now at the memory.

After that savory, sticky little escapade, they had lain in the messy bed and discussed plans for the remainder of the day. As he remembered, Sahndra didn’t want to leave the bedroom, not to mention the house. She had wanted to cultivate and strengthen this erotic, close bond they were experiencing. She’d wanted as much of him as she could possibly get into her system.

She kissed his chest as he spoke. “Aw, honey, I’d love to spend all day in this bed with ya, but I gotta go to that damn gun show with Jason this afternoon. Remember?”

She raised herself up on her elbow and looked at him. “You HAVTA go?”

He made a sad face. “Yeah, love. I promised him a month ago that I’d go along and advise him. It’s all he’s been talking about.”

“But, Earl Ray, you can make up an excuse or something. Say I’m sick or whatever.” She was begging him not to leave the bed.

“I ain’t like that, Sahndra. You know better than that.” His voice was gentle and quiet. He brushed her cheeks with the backs of his fingers.

“Please………It would be cheating heaven…………Do it for me.” Her eyes pleaded with him.

Now he ran his hand through her hair. “Everything I do is for you……..But I gotta do this one thing for Jason. He’s a good kid, and he’s counting on me. I can’t let him down……..Try to understand, darlin’.”

Sahndra fell back onto her pillow, frustrated. She was losing. “Whatever, Earl Ray………..Go on………Be honorable and as good as your word and all that……..Now I know what really matters to you.” She was defeated and hurt.

He turned to her. “Aw, baby, you matter more than anything to me, and ya know that. There’s nothing I’d rather do than be here with you making love all day. But I havta to do this. It’s important to him. Don’t get upset, please……….I’ll be home at five. I promise. We’ll have the whole evening together.”

“Yeah. Okay. Whatever you say. Just go.” Somehow she felt rejected, scorned.

He placed his warm hand on her stomach. “Sahndra……..I love you……I’ll be back soon…….Okay?” He was almost whispering.

She looked at him. “Go if you’re going. Don’t drag it the hell out.”

As he sat in the living room now and played it all back in his mind, Earl Ray thought he had made the wrong choice. Jason, he knew, wouldn’t have been nearly as hurt and disappointed as he saw that Sahndra was. She loved him whole-heartedly, unconditionally. Jason was simply his dedicated employee. His priorities, he decided, were definitely screwed up.

And now it was after six o’clock. He’d told her again before he left earlier that he’d be home to her again by five. He’d been sitting here in this darkening room now since four because he’d left Jason at the gun show early. He’d wanted to see her, to have her look at him lovingly again. To hear her laugh. To touch her soft skin. He needed her.

He wasn’t fighting off the anxiety well at all. Maybe she’d been more pissed off at him than he realized. Maybe she was out enjoying herself without him. She certainly wasn’t there with him like he wanted so badly. And he knew that if he sat there much longer, he’d implode.

He set the beer down and left. Renaissance was his first stop in his search for his missing companion. If Sahndra wasn’t to be found here, Julie would surely know something, anything. He was beginning to feel desperate.

When he walked in the front door, he hurried through the bar side of the place to avoid the upscale diners on the other side. He had planned to go directly back to the kitchen, even though his privileges to do so were no longer valid. But he didn’t even make it that far.

“She’s not here, Earl Ray.”

Roger had been shooting pool and saw him come in. He was slowly walking over now, holding his pool stick. “She’s at the hospital with Sahndra.”

Roger must have guessed from Earl Ray’s expression that he didn’t know what had been going on all afternoon. And Earl Ray was caught off-guard because, in his frantic state of mind, he’d forgotten that Roger might be here.

Earl Ray stopped and stood dead still, staring at Roger. “What did you say?”

Roger sighed. “Sahndra was with us at the loft right after lunch, and she started having bad pains in her side. We took her to the hospital. She had appendicitis……….But she’s fine now. Julie’s still over there with her. Where the hell you been, man?”

Earl Ray was floored. He stared at Roger and said nothing at first. “She’s okay?” he finally managed.

“Yeah……..Everything’s cool. She’s just wondering where you are.”

“Why didn’t anybody call me? I’ve been over at her house.” Earl Ray was still acclimating all the new information in his head.

“Julie left you messages there. Didn’t you get ‘em?” Roger said, patiently.

Earl Ray felt his stomach turn over. Never had it occurred to him to check the damn answering machine at Sahndra’s house. He hated the thing. He refused to own one. “I didn’t even check it………..What a fuckup I am,” Earl Ray said, mostly to himself.

“She’s in room 724.” Roger tried subtly to tell him to get moving.

She’s wondering where I am, Earl Ray thought as he drove to the city hospital. He wished over and over that he’d stayed with her that day of all days. Like she’d begged him to do. If he had stayed instead of going to that damn gun show, he would have been with her when she got her pains. He’d be with her now.

Julie was sitting in Sahndra’s room when he finally got there. She politely left without fanfare when she saw him walk in. Earl Ray was hardly aware of Julie’s presence at all. He was intently looking at Sahndra sitting up in the hospital bed. Their eyes had locked. He walked slowly over to her side.

Sahndra realized immediately that he was speechless. So she tried to help him. “I’m okay, honey. Sit down here.”

Then he found his voice. “I had no idea, Sahndra, ‘til now………I’ve been at your house……..waiting for ya. And like a fool, I never even looked at the answering machine……..I’m sorry as hell.”

She smiled at him. She was so absolutely happy to see him. She’d been waiting for him all afternoon. “It just happened, Earl Ray. A little minor crisis. Who knew?”

“But I shoulda been there for ya, angel…….like ya asked me to.” He sat down on the bed and took her hand into his own.

“It’s over now. Don’t worry ‘bout it. Anyway, you were right to go with Jason.” Sahndra’s eyes told him that she loved him still. No matter what.

“No……..I wish I’d stayed home……..I’m sorry, Sahndra.”

“Earl Ray, I was selfish to try to make ya stay with me. I thought about it a bunch. You shoulda done exactly what ya did.”

He looked down and sucked in his cheeks, that totally adorable thing that she loved. “Then why don’t I feel good about anything, huh? I feel like I failed you.”

She squeezed his hand. “Honey, ………you did the right thing, and I realize that now. And it’s not your fault that I had my appendix out……….or that you weren’t around when it happened………It’s done……Let’s move on.”

He raised his eyes to hers. “I hate myself when I upset ya, sweetheart.”

Her eyes had tiny tears in them. Joyous tears. “I’m not upset anymore. You’re here now. How’dya finally find out anyway?”

“I went to the restaurant to ask Julie. And Roger clued me in.”

Sahndra laughed. “Roger. He brought me over here………That prick’s good for something.”

They both laughed. The storm had blown over.