By Micki L. Bailey

When she pulled into the underground parking lot of their building, Maggie saw Earl Ray there about to get into his Explorer. He stopped and waited when he spotted her driving over to park beside him.

"Those folks in that last loft on the top floor aren’t home……..if that’s who you’re visiting……I just checked," he said when she emerged from the Mercedes.

"Not even the asshole husband?" She turned around now, and Earl Ray saw her battle-scarred face for the first time.

He was a bit startled, but he camouflaged it. Breaking into a smile, he said, "Do I smell trouble for America’s Happiest Couple?"

Maggie wrinkled up her nose and slammed the car door shut. "Fuck that," she growled.

"What happened?" He stepped around the automobile, closer to her. "You been crying?"

She grabbed her purse to find her compact. "Christ. I must look scary."

"Ya look fine, Mags. What’s the problem?" he asked again.

"Roger." She glanced up at him and then back into the little mirror, dabbing her face with reconstructive powder. "Roger’s the damn problem."

"He musta really screwed up this time. I ain’t seen you this mad at ‘im since Scottie’s party with the lap-dancing strippers" He laughed at the memory.

Maggie snapped the compact shut and peered at him. "I guess you already knew about that vacant restaurant building he bought."

"Oh………that. I thought he was gonna have that thing renovated before he showed it to you." Earl Ray looked slightly puzzled.

"Well, it seems he so desperately wants me out of Benjamin’s company that he couldn’t wait to show it to me," she spit out bitterly.

Earl Ray sucked in his cheeks and smiled at her. "Aw, baby, Roger’s too sure of himself for that shit. He ain’t worried ‘bout Katz."

"Yes, he is, Earl Ray. He bitched about how much time I spend over there," she sighed.

"He wasn’t bitching, Maggie. He loves it when you go over there. He says it ‘lightens and brightens’ you up."

She smirked sarcastically. "Sure. So the next logical step is to try to buy it for me, or some place like it, and ruin all that."

Maintaining his patience, Earl Ray touched her arm gently. "I don’t think he tried to ruin things, honey……….He was just trying to make it better for ya……….to give ya even more of what was making you smile."

Maggie looked at him for a moment, deep in thought. "Running a restaurant is hard work, Earl Ray. I’m not ready for that again," she said quietly.

"Well, seems like he told me he’d get you as much help as you needed……….in case you didn’t wanna work so much."

"You’re shooting down all my legitimate arguments, ya know," she said, very sadly.

He rubbed her arm one more time and then removed his hand. "Just telling ya what I know."

"You wanna come upstairs for a drink?" She didn’t feel like going into the "money" part of the fight, but she didn’t want to be alone either.

Earl Ray shook his head. "No, baby. Thanks, but I’m the last person who oughtta be around if Roger comes home."

"Why? You’re getting to know ‘im as well as I do."

Earl Ray smiled again. "I knew him before you did, Mags………..You always forget that part."

"Yeah, and you always freaking remind me. Hey,………if he crashes at your place tonight, will you let me know?"

He furrowed his brow. "Was it that bad?"

"Yeah." She almost choked trying to get this single word out.

"I’ll call ya if I hear from him………And I’ll be home if ya need anything. Okay?"

"Thanks, Earl Ray."

He kissed her forehead lightly and left. Maggie then hurried upstairs to the loft. After finding zero messages on the answering machine, she took some Melatonin and climbed into bed. It was only 5:30 in the afternoon. But she was exhausted. And feeling very down to boot.

Before she dozed off, she went back over her argument with Roger. Then she went back over her chat with Earl Ray.

Maybe, she thought, I misinterpreted Roger’s motives. Maybe he wasn’t as jealous of Benjamin as I suspected, but really did want simply to surprise me with a grand, stunningly impressive gift. Or maybe it was a little of both – maybe Roger was subconsciously trying to outshine Benjamin in a male macho kind of way, and I was the benefactor.

Even if his intentions were more honorable and sincere than she’d given him credit for, even if she owed him an apology about that, there was still the other issue – his vicious accusation about the money. And this matter she was helplessly unable to figure out. She had no clue where it might have come from. It was a tremendous mystery for her, one she fell asleep attempting to work through.

* * *

Maggie lunged for the telephone when it rang. "Yes! Uh….Hello?"

There was a pause on the other end that instantly filled her with hope. "Maggie? Are you well?"

False alarm. It was only Benjamin. Her insides deflated back down. "Hey, Benjamin……….Yeah, I’m fine…….Just a little on edge…….Sorry."

"I phoned to see if you’re coming by the restaurant later today. I had a special request for your grilled salmon." His voice was smooth and unhurried. No harshness. Very nice.

Maggie grimaced at the receiver. "I might sit this one out today. I’ll call Fredo with that marinade recipe. Is that cool?"

"Of course, dear." After a moment of silence, he continued. "Did you guys come in last night for a drink only? I didn’t see you in the dining room."

"What?" Maggie felt thick, horrible dread building up inside her like sludge. Roger had not come home the night before, and she didn’t have even a hint about how or where he was. She feared, though, that an unpleasant and unsolicited hint was forthcoming now.

"I spotted your charming husband at the bar just after the dinner crowd, and then I saw the two of you leaving out the front door. I was too far in the back to call out to you."

Her mind raced at break-neck velocity. "Oh, Roger had some things to go over with one of his business associates………I begged outta that one."

Benjamin laughed politely. "All I could see from that distance was tall and blonde. I naturally assumed it was you."

Maggie laughed too, although she was collapsing and suffocating inside. "Occasionally, I let him out by himself."

He laughed again, and Maggie knew he hadn’t bought her tale about a "business associate." But he was too diplomatic and well-mannered to pursue it. In fact, he changed the subject completely.

"Well, perhaps I’ll see you tomorrow then."

If I manage to live through today, her mind screamed. "Sure, Benjamin. I’ll drop by tomorrow."

She didn’t remember hanging up the phone. And all she could see was black. Her psyche took on all the qualities of chaos. A dark, dark night of the soul.

Roger left Park Palisades in the company of another woman?

This situation was far worse than she had imagined. Far worse than bad situations had ever been for them before now.

Time was quickly approaching noon. Maggie had gotten up, showered, and dressed just like any other day. Simply to keep her head above the strong-willed quicksand that threatened to pull her under entirely.

Earl Ray had not called her with any news whatsoever, nor had he answered her two pages to his beeper. She felt isolated and abandoned. She hadn’t been in this big city long enough to know where to look for him or for Roger. And she was beside herself with anxiety – even before Benjamin’s innocent but revealing phone call.

And now, after that call, she felt totally betrayed. But that she couldn’t allow into her head right now. That, if it was true, was an irreparable gaffe in her relationship with Roger. And "irreparable" was not a word she could work into her life with him at the moment. No, she just wasn’t strong enough for that. Could he have really done this heinous thing?

Then, before she could collapsed in on herself, a thundering thought struck her. Wasn’t turnabout fair play? If Roger had turned to another for understanding or solace or whatever, then couldn’t she do the same? It didn’t take her long to convince herself that this truth must be engraved in stone somewhere.

And then it took even less time to decided on who would provide her with the most……..retribution? No, wait. The goal here was satisfaction. Ah, yes. Sweet, immediate gratification. Nothing like it to ease a psyche’s misery. This was one of the Ten Commandments, right?

Quickly and frantically, she searched through the boxes they had never unpacked for her old address book. Until now, she hadn’t needed it. When she finally found it, she glanced at the clock and prayed that Jack French would be promptly in his office, even with the time zone difference.

Yes, it had to be Jack, her buddy from where they used to live. Jack, who Roger had actually expressed avid jealously over. Jack had never failed to create tiny "sparklers" in her. And he had always found a way to make her feel good. She surprised herself with a grin when Jack’s secretary put her on hold while transferring the call into his office.

"Hello, beautiful! Where’ve you been all my wasted life?" he almost screeched when he recognized her voice.

"What’s going on, Jack? You won’t believe how much I’ve missed you." Maggie longed to see him again in all his debonair glory.

"God, honey, I’ve been so lonely and hungry ‘round here without your bewitching personality and your amazing culinary expertise."

"Ah, Jack, you always knew how to make a girl feel………..special." And it was true. She felt better already.

"So how’s Prince Charming, after he whisked you away like a thief in the night?" he asked.

"Roger’s fine," she said while thinking silently: He’s getting everything he needs. "I guess Earl Ray told you that we’re off up here in Portland, Oregon. It’s gorgeous and all, but it’s a little too cold for my taste."

Jack laughed. "Yes, you were the hot-blooded one, weren’t you? You been taking care of yourself?"

Well, I’ve made a huge mess of my marriage, she thought. "Absolutely……..Things are wonderful……I’m even doing a little cooking at a cool restaurant in town."

"Really now? You sound good, darling." He lowered his voice seductively. "I’d love to see you again."

"Oh, me too, Jack. You just don’t know."

They talked on for quite some time, filling each other in on the recent events of their respective lives. Jack’s conversation, of course, was laced with sexual innuendo and double entendres. And Maggie had never welcomed and appreciated it more than she did now. After that phone call, she felt surprisingly uplifted, and glad she’d chosen Jack for some much needed cheering and relief.

That is, until she heard Roger come in the loft’s front door.

Requiring a couple of minutes to muster up all her courage, she finally walked out of the bedroom to confront him. She found him standing in the kitchen drinking a Ginger Ale. He wore the same dark clothes he’d worn the night before, but he seemed refreshed and none the worse for spending a night away from his own bed.

Her too-clear mental image of him leaving Park Palisades with another female flashed across her mind in a bright explosion, and she winced before she could shove it away again.

He darted his eyes in her direction as she approached, and Maggie tried to ignore her sinking heart. "How thoughtful of you to come home and let me know you’re okay, Roger." Her voice came out much calmer than she felt inside.

He swallowed and set the can down on the bar. "Yeah, here I am so you can start in on me again, Maggie." Same catty tone from the day before.

"You know? If you’re gonna fuck around on me, you could at least do it with a little discretion and not blatantly in front of my friends." Now she sounded steely and cold.

Roger looked puzzled for a second and then realized what she meant. He smiled and she shivered. "Ahh…………the omnipresent Mr. Katz to Maggie’s defense……….Just lovely."

She walked around the bar, glaring at him. "Did you have to pick up some whore in the place where I work, Roger?"

Without blinking, he said quietly, "Is there a certain etiquette for……………what did you call it?……….fucking around?"

Maggie charged and pushed him then as hard as she was capable with both of her hands. "Damn you! How could you do this to me?" she snarled.

It was all she could think of saying, the only question howling in her head. Despite her will to stop them, huge tears filled her burning eyes.

Roger stepped back and looked down. "I’ll try to be more considerate next time, sweets," he said, softly but sarcastically.

She felt flames raging in her chest, but she refused to let them consume her. "Oh, no……..no more next times, Roger…………You’ve screwed up, so to speak, your one big opportunity……..I ain’t hanging ‘round for the encore."

Flushed and furious, Maggie turned to go. But he was on her with one swift, agile move. He grabbed her arm.

"Baby, wait. It wasn’t—"

But the blunt hatefulness in the look she spun around and gave him shut down the rest of his words. "Tell it to the bimbo. And get your damn hands off me. I don’t want you ever touching me again." Quiet, vicious words that came spewing out with teardrops.

Roger released her, and she fled from him. She snatched up her purse from back in the bedroom and tore through the den towards the door.

"Maggie, for christssake! Wouldya just listen to me for a second?"

She stopped and glared at him one final time. "I think I’ve heard enough……..Fuck you."

Then there was the inevitable slamming of the door. Almost a reverse replay of their fight from the previous day.

Roger stood alone in the kitchen and felt the stunning chill creep up his body. All of the warmth in his world had just stormed out the door and abandoned him.

* * *

Maggie drove blindly through the city towards her new "restaurant." Oddly, she felt she might find some comfort there, some weird consolation to dull her intense pain. She could at least be alone. With her intense pain.

Before she went inside, she phoned Earl Ray one more time from the car and was shocked to hear him answer. "Why haven’t you returned any of my messages?" she asked, a little too harshly.

"I was getting to it, angel. I’ve been……….tied up. What’s the matter?"

"Well, I’m over at this fabulous vacant building that my dazzling husband has so kindly purchased for me, and I can’t find a damn thing to slit my wrists with."

Earl Ray sighed heavily. He’d been here before. "Maggie……..what happened?"

"I’d rather tell you face to face……….You’re so cute when you gloat," she said wryly.

"I’ll be right over. Don’t do anything stupid. You hear me?"

"Yeah, yeah," she droned.

While she waited for Earl Ray, Maggie inspected the inside of the place. Roger had been right, she sadly admitted to herself. It was an excellent-quality structure that could easily be fixed up into a fine restaurant. She ran her fingertips over the inlaid blue marble in the bar and then pictured a plausible table layout on the hardwood floor upstairs.

"Whadaya think? Twelve tables of different sizes? Sixteen would be too crowded," she said when she saw Earl Ray standing in the doorway.

"You really thinking of doing this?"

She shrugged. "I gotta do something to support myself after I divorce Roger."

Earl Ray watched her intently. She was upset; that was obvious. Upset enough to cry and not worry at all about her appearance. "What’d he do now, baby?"

Maggie swallowed a huge lump in her throat and turned away from him, trying to hide at least a little of the damage that she’d just suffered. Quickly and chokingly, she blurted out the details of her conversation with Benjamin. And then she told him about her more recent and more terrible encounter with Roger.

Earl Ray couldn’t hold back a chuckle, and she turned on him vehemently. He tried to soothe her. "Honey,………he didn’t call you last night like I told him to, did he?"

She didn’t understand, and logical thought was not easy for her at the moment. "Nobody called me last night. All I know is what I just told you."

He was still smiling. "Roger showed up at my place around ten, just like you predicted he would……..And I was………occupied. So I told him to make himself at home and to be sure and call you……..that you were worried sick ‘bout him…………..I guess the asshole didn’t do it."

Maggie was trying to piece it all together. "Ten o’clock? That’s only about an hour after Benjamin saw him with his ladyfriend………….Isn’t that enough time to take care of business?" she asked.

"Sure it is, Maggie. But that’s not how it happened……….I woulda known when he got to my apartment……….He was there all night, honey, not with some strange bitch..………honest."

"But he picked her up, right? And left with her too! So why not fuck her?" Her eyes were wide and blazing.

Earl Ray laughed. "I don’t know, baby. He didn’t confide in me. Maybe he just wanted to see if he still had the touch…………..but I’m telling you……..he got rid of her shortly after they left the restaurant."

"Maybe she just sucked him off in the car."

"Maggie, you’re imagining stuff, making things harder on yourself……….Now c’mon. Lemme take you and get you something to eat. You look like you could use it."

Over lunch, he convinced her that her husband had, for some unexplained reason, decided to abort his plan to cheat on her, if he ever had one at all, and that there was still hope for her seemingly doomed marriage. "And I ain’t gloating, for your information," he said across the table.

Feeling much better, maybe even a little hopeful, she smiled. "So tell me, Earl Ray……..what exactly were you ‘occupied’ with when he showed up last night?"

He blushed and charmingly sucked in his cheeks. "You remembered."

"I’m not totally self-centered. What were you doing?"

"It was a ‘who,’ Maggie………..A nice lady named Deena," he said shyly.

Maggie broke into a grin. "Oh, yeah? Why is this the first I’ve heard of Deena?"

"Well, you’ve been so wrapped up in Roger since he got back from Virginia and all………I just didn’t bother you with it."

"She’s worthy of you? No, wait. I’ll be the judge of that. When do we get to meet her?"

He blushed again. "Roger met her last night and gave her a thumbs-up………..I don’t know ‘bout you meeting her, Maggie. I’ve only known her two weeks………"

"What am I gonna do, Earl Ray? Scare her to death?"

"Now that’s a strong possibility. But you need to worry ‘bout affairs in your own backyard, baby. Why don’t ya go home now and talk to ‘im? He didn’t seem real happy with current events when I saw him last."

She grimaced. "You really don’t think he screwed around on me?"

"I really don’t, Maggie. I’m pretty sure I coulda detected it if he did."

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I know……….You knew him WAY before I did."

Roger wasn’t home when she returned. And he hadn’t left a note either. Here we go again, she thought. Round three. So she reclined on the bed with a glass of wine and waited.

I have so much to say to him. Where should I begin? How about:

"The new restaurant was a wonderful surprise, Roger, and I might even be able to make it work……………And thank you so much for everything you give me, even though I don’t give a damn about your tons of money. You gotta believe that……….You are what I love…….more than anything in the world…….And I guess you really didn’t sleep with that woman. I couldn’t bear it if you did……….So can we just get past this and move on?"

Yeah, that’s good, she thought. I’ll use that as a base and build on it from there. We’ll be okay again. As good as new. The world will be right once more. God, just let him come back home soon.

Maggie set the wine glass on the nightstand stretched out on the bed. She wasn’t aware that she had dozed off until she felt a familiar, lean body sidling down on the bed against her own body. She opened her eyes and looked directly into Roger’s face as he slid his warm hand over her abdomen.

"Hey." It was a sultry bedroom whisper.

She tried to answer him, but her heart seemed to be blocking everything except breath from escaping her body. He moved his hand from her stomach up to the hollowness at the base of her throat and then slowly down her chest.

"I didn’t fuck around on you……….I was at that place ‘cause I thought you’d show up there………….and that woman sat down next to me at the bar………I was working on getting wasted, and we started talking, and………Well, she wanted to go to some dance club, and I agreed…………just to have something to do………But when we got outside in the parking lot and she saw that I wouldn’t be much use to her………she left me in the dust."

"Okay, Roger." It was all she could manage, but it was a start.

He went on. "And I’ll get rid of that damn building too………..Sorry ‘bout all that."

Maggie clutched his wandering hand in hers and held it lovingly. "No………..Let’s keep it………..I maybe could do something with it………..It’s a cool place."

He smiled. "Ya think?"

"I hate this fighting with you."

"We’re not fighting anymore, are we?" Maggie swooned just listening to his soft voice, falling under its magical spell.

"The money can go to hell, Roger………..as long as I get to keep you."

"I’d give it all to ya, baby, just to get ya to keep me."

Now she smiled back at him., and it felt so right. "I adore you, Roger."

He brushed his index fingertip gently across her lips. "Same here, sweetheart."

Then he put his mouth on hers and drew her to him, hungrily and needily. And she clung to him, hungrily and needily.