It wasn’t her fault, though, he repeated to his conscience. And yes, she’d been right. He HAD been
having another of his nightmares. But he hadn’t been stomping through a soggy, too-quiet jungle in
this one. Nor had he been wiping gook blood off his knife with a dirty black scarf.
This dream had frightened him worse than any of those post-war illusions ever used to. In this one,
he’d been trudging through the terrors of Roger Lococco’s loft. Empty now because Roger had
evacuated. He’d packed up camp and moved on.
And he had taken Maggie with him.
My Maggie, Earl Ray heard in his mind, and he hoped to God he hadn’t whispered it out loud for
Sahndra to hear. Sahndra who was lying patiently beside him waiting to hear how traumatized he
was feeling over some ghastly and horrific dredged-up Vietnam memory. Never could he tell her
that the stark cement pillars in the forsaken, hollow loft had struck more utter fear in him than any
unpredictable land mine ever would.
“Honey,” Sahndra whispered to him. “Are you okay?”
He let out a deep breath he’d been holding. His mind screeched what he couldn’t possibly say out
loud: “No! Goddamnit! I’m not! And I may never be okay again! Maggie’s gone! Can’t you see
that? Roger took her! Not just away from me, but away from here!”
So what actually came from his vocal chords was, “Yep..............I’m fine. Go back to sleep.” And he
had extended a hand towards her then out of sympathy, one thing he still felt for her.
* * *
The dramatic and dreadful incident that had driven Roger far away into a sea of anonymity (with
Maggie securely in his grip) had taken place two months earlier:
“Vinnie, make him stop!” Maggie screamed as they came upstairs and found Roger fiercely
battering Upton into the hardwood floor. “He’s killing him!”
And Roger WAS effectively killing the big guy. He held Upton down with a knee and one hand
while maniacally pounding his face and chest with the other hand. The downed man had long given
up fighting back, and Maggie could see that he was conscious only because he cowered now,
drawing his body into a self-protecting semi-circle.
She didn’t recognize Roger’s rabid, disconnected facial expression as Vinnie hurried over and
forcefully pulled him off Upton. And it took all of Vinnie’s considerable strength to do so.
“She’s not hurt, Roga. I found her. She’s okay. Stop it now,” he was saying as he dragged his out-of-
control friend off an old enemy.
Roger’s wild, turbulent eyes searched the loft frantically. When they locked on Maggie’s, the heat
and fury began to drain out of them slowly.
“Everything’s all right,” she told him without words.
He looked down at the object of his rage once more and kicked the man in his expansive stomach
with a worn, scuffed boot. Upton grunted and curled in on himself more. Roger then he glided over
to Maggie, almost invisibly, and enveloped her in his body, defensively. She clung to him and
instantly felt all the nerves inside him squirming and roaring.
“What’d he do to ya, baby? Did he hurt ya at all?” He spoke softly, soothingly to her, even though
he still raged inside.
“I’m fine, Roger...................He just tied me to a chair downstairs.................He didn’t even cover my
mouth.”
“That’s ‘cause he wanted information, Maggie. He WANTED you to talk.” He was very patient.
She was still reeling, and more than a little confused. “Talk about what? What the hell’s going on?”
Maggie understood by now that Upton was incarnated evil from Roger’s distant past. A shadowy,
extensive past that he was slowly revealing to her. She also knew that Roger had enemies, like
Upton, who he’d hinted might possibly come looking for him. For vengeance of some sort.
Today Upton had come looking for him and had found Maggie instead.
“He’s almost out cold, Roga. Ya coulda killed the bastard.” Vinnie was joining their little huddle
now.
“He can drive, can’t he?” Roger’s tone was calm, but Maggie sensed that his psyche was still an
inferno.
“C’mon, Roga. Aren’tcha gonna call the cops?” Vinnie stared at him disbelievingly.
“The cops? For what? He came here looking for me. And he found me. If the fucking cops lock ‘im
up, there’s plenty more out there where he came from. Why bother?” Roger’s eyes were wide and
glaring, asking Vinnie for answers he couldn’t give.
“So ya just gonna kill him?”
“Hell, no! But I’ll send his mangled ass back to the bastards with a message.” He was in control. Of
himself and of the situation.
“Why was he looking for ya, honey?”
Roger had been looking at Vinnie, but now he turned his full attention back to Maggie. Something
vaguely resembling a smile flitted across his features. He touched her upper arm.
“Twelve years ago, I brought down Upton’s pissy little cartel in New Jersey..............Ruined him and
his family..............His brother got in the way and had to be...................eliminated.” Roger sighed
heavily. “And that fat ass over there got 10 years in the joint...............I guess he came out gunning
for me.”
“I read about that in the papers. That was YOU?” Vinnie was incredulous.
“That was me.................You sure he didn’t touch ya, sweetheart? ‘Cause if he did.......................I
WILL kill him.” Roger smoothed her blonde hair off her face. His eyes searched that face for what
she might not tell him verbally.
Maggie briefly related the harrowing events to him: “He said he was an old friend of yours and
wanted to surprise you. He even had a photo of you two together. After we talked a while, he pulled
his gun out and became kinda...................weird and menacing. But not hostile.................He never hit
me or anything............He just made me go downstairs..................And then he tied me to a chair he’d
put in the guest bathroom...............He said we’d wait for you...............and then he’d get what he
came for.”
Roger’s smoldering anger flamed up again, and he flew back over to Upton and grabbed him up off
the floor. Upton stood, groaning, while Roger clutched his jacket with both hands and slung him
backwards against the wall by the elevator. Blood from his mouth splattered the wall. Vinnie had
rushed over too and now stood waiting to see what level of violence Roger would morph into this
time.
“You sonofabitch! You held a gun on her? I’ll fucking kill you if you ever come near her again!”
“C’mon, Roga. Let him go,” Vinnie said, gripping Roger’s arm.
Roger ignored Vinnie. His eyes blazed at Upton. “Well, I hope ya got whatcha came for, you piece
of shit. And you can bet your ass that if ya mess with me again, I won’t be quite so hospitable! Ya
got that, Upton? You cocksucker?” He slammed him against the wall again.
Upton moaned and gasped for air. “You win, Lococco. Kill me or let me go.”
“You ain’t worth killing. Get the fuck outta my sight!” Roger shoved him roughly into the huge
elevator where the beaten man staggered before he caught the wall. The elevator’s mouth closed in
the middle, and Upton was gone.
Roger turned around slowly and stared at Maggie. She’d walked over closer to him, but now she
stopped and backed up a step when she saw the storm still in his eyes.
“And you! Don’t EVER let anyone else up here again!” He spoke softly, but it sounded like a roar.
He was moving towards her, and she backed up another step. “Old friends of mine or not!”
“Don’t start on her now, Roga. She didn’t do a damn thing.” Vinnie had sat down on the blue
leather sofa to catch his breath.
Roger caught up with Maggie now in her timid retreat. Without smiling, he wrapped his arms
around her comfortingly. Comforting for both of them equally. She thought that maybe she had
become warm liquid and was absorbing into him.
“That scared the shit outta me, Maggie. To think ya might be hurt ‘cause of me.” He whispered and
caressed her spine.
“I’m not hurt at all, sweetheart..............Just a little scared too.”
“I’m sorry that you had to go through it.”
Vinnie looked behind him at their intimate embrace. Then he leaned his head back on the sofa and
closed his eyes. His breathing had almost returned to a normal rate.
He and Roger had returned to the loft that afternoon to find Upton standing there to greet them. He
casually held a gun at his side and grinned. It was an ugly, evil grin. Faster than a cheetah, Roger
had scanned the loft and assessed the situation. His eyes narrowed.
“What the hell are you doing here, Upton, and where is she?” He zoomed right up into the evil face
that Vinnie had not recognized.
Upton laughed. “Mr. Lococco! How exhilarating to finally see you again! I’ve been looking forward
to this meeting, I can assure you!”
Vinnie watched cautiously as Roger snarled at the big guy. “Where............the fuck............is she?”
“Who? That charming, accommodating little beauty I found here today? Is that yours, Lococco?
Very sweet, indeed!”
Upton had brought the gun up to chest level now and was about to point it at Roger. Roger, quicker
than the eye could follow, grabbed the other man’s wrist and squeezed specific tendons, paralyzing
his hand. Upton grimaced with the pain.
“Drop the gun, you asshole,” Roger hissed.
As it fell to the floor of the loft with a thud, Maggie’s muffled voice echoed from far away. “I’m
down here, if anyone can hear me!”
Viciously glaring at Upton and still squeezing his wrist, Roger said quietly, “Go get her, Vince.”
Then he had begun his merciless, unfocused pummeling of Upton, without asking him anymore
questions. Questions were unnecessary. He had known his former foes might track him down one
day. He just hadn’t planned to have a soulmate with him who would also be affected. And now that
he’d let this someone into his being, he’d be damned if he’d allow his past to rise up and get her.
* * *
Maggie had been relieved beyond words to see Vinnie come through the bathroom door. Like she’d
claimed, she wasn’t hurt at all, just frightened more than she’d ever been in her life. More scared
than she admitted to Roger later.
For her, the whole ordeal had played out like a bad television drama, with released criminals coming
back for revenge on the secret operatives who had jailed them. She’d gotten to play the role of the
secret operative’s fair maiden, an unwilling weapon to be used against him. But this criminal had
forgotten to read the script because Maggie’s secret operative had outwitted him and then almost
pulverized his wits out of him. To rescue her.
Later that night, cradled in Roger’s arms, Maggie tried not to think about how terrified she had been
that the drama’s ending would come out differently than it had. She nestled against his warm skin,
feeling his heart beat, and breathing in the essence of their love-making that still hung in the air.
He’d been slow and gentle in his passion with her, touching her tenderly as if she were fragile and
precious. The culmination of their pleasure had been a mutual burning explosion tearing through
their joined bodies. She pressed her body snuggly into his now, remembering the cold, distant feeling
she’d had while tied up and separated from him.
“We’re going away, Maggie................This place is too risky now..........Somebody else might
come.” Roger spoke evenly and quietly. Decidedly.
Maggie waited a moment before she answered. “Going away? Permanently?”
“Forever. It’s unsafe here....................I can’t take a chance........not with you around now.”
“But, Roger, this is where we live! What about my restaurant? What about—”
“We gotta let it all go, sweets................I’m sorry..............We’ll start over somewhere.”
Melancholia seized her psyche. The only thing she could find to rejoice about was that he hadn’t
given her the option of staying behind. He wasn’t leaving her.
After a while she spoke again. “How soon?”
“By Tuesday, at the latest.”
Two days. She understood immediately that he was allowing the two days for HER. He’d be gone
already if she weren’t a consideration. So she kissed his chest in gratitude. When he rubbed her hair
affectionately, she knew he’d gotten her silent message.
“So I’ll have time to..............” Maggie thought of a hundred things she wanted to have time to do
before she left town for good.
“To say good-bye to Earl Ray.” Roger had read her perfectly. Again. Saying goodbye to her ex-
husband had been foremost in her mind.
“Yeah. I can’t leave without doing that.”
“I know, baby.”
* * *
“You can’t be serious, Maggie! Just uproot and leave? Where will ya go? What will ya do?”
Maggie was on the Michaels’ deck, sitting at their picnic table. Earl Ray had taken the news far
worse than Maggie expected. His face told her that he was devastated inside. Unmistakably so. It
may look like anger right now, but it would slowly melt into grief. She knew him. She had dreaded
this conversation with him.
“I don’t know any of the details yet, honey. I’m just trusting Roger. He says he’s got it all worked
out,” she said.
“Fuck Roger! He’s always working shit out! And look at the mess he’s made of things so far!”
“Earl Ray, he’s in danger of being tracked down again. And he doesn’t wanna put me at risk.”
“So why doesn’t he leave you here?”
She sighed heavily. “Thanks.................Do you have no concern for MY feelings?.............He does.”
Earl Ray pounded his fist on the metal table, and the umbrella overhead shook. “Damn,
Maggie....................How will I know if you’re all right?”
“Roger says I can contact you after some time. He’ll arrange it.” She cringed because she knew how
he’d react to this.
But he surprised her. He said nothing and looked out into the backyard at his two Dobermans. He
squinted his eyes and pursed his lips. “Who is this Upton guy? I’ll find him myself and get rid of
him.”
Maggie shook her head. “He’s not the only one, Earl Ray. Roger made a lot of enemies.”
“No kidding.” He was still staring blindly into the yard.
“Where’s Sahndra? I wanted to say good-bye to her too,” Maggie lied. It was Earl Ray she’d come
over to see.
“Who the fuck knows?” he said.
“Are you two getting along okay?” She was unsure after that last reply.
He turned his unkind stare on her. “We’re fine. Not that you’ll have to worry about it anymore.”
Hostility in the voice, but pain all over the face.
Maggie felt her heart ripping. “Earl Ray.............I’ll always care about you. I love you. You know
that...............And Roger’s already promised me that I can see you again............one
day................Please don’t make this hard for me..............It’s not my choice..........I gotta go with
him................I love him.”
“What am I gonna do without ya, darling? I think I’ve survived this whole divorce from you simply
because I could still see ya and be friends with ya....................be near ya............make sure you’re
okay.....................And now that’s all about to change..............How am I gonna make it from here on
out, Maggie?”
Maggie felt tears spring to her eyes. God, she didn’t want to cry. “What am I supposed to say to that,
honey? Huh? I can’t change this! I havta go! HE’S my husband now!” She was crying against her
will.
Earl Ray stood up then. Not smiling. Not crying. Expressionless. “Then go. You said your good-
byes. Now just go. I’ll see ya when ROGER deems it acceptable. If the fucker ever does.”
She stared up at him. Was he dismissing her so harshly? “Earl Ray—”
“Bye, Maggie.”
Yes, he was.
She stood up, still crying, and tried to hug him. He responded mechanically, coldly. She kissed him
on both his cheeks and looked into his eyes. “I love you. Remember that. And I’ll miss you most of
all.”
“This ain’t ‘The Wizard of Oz.’”
Maggie felt her knees buckle at this insulting, damaging blow. “Okay, Earl Ray.............I’m going. I
do love you.”
After looking into his green eyes for another moment, trying to find any little hint of remorse, she
turned to go. And she couldn’t bring herself to look back at him again. He’d intentionally wounded
her during their last moments together.
* * *
Earl Ray still saw Maggie walking through the French doors of his house, leaving his life. And he
still heard every painful syllable of their last conversation. He played the entire scene over and over
again in his head throughout all his boring days and every night in bed with Sahndra. This sad
obsession had brought on the nightmares about Roger’s empty loft. It had also brought on feelings of
dissatisfaction and unrest in his marriage.
He had been truthful with Maggie. He’d survived the divorce only because he had never completely
given her up. She remained in his line of vision and part of his life. Until now. Now, his necessary
crutch had been kicked away. And he couldn’t stand alone. Not without her. His Maggie.
He admitted his helplessness/hopelessness to himself after two months of Maggie’s absence. After
weeks and weeks of the traumatic dreams and nightsweats. After days and days of becoming
increasingly ill and intolerant with his wife.
And he knew now he couldn’t accept things as they were in his life. Something had to give.
Truthful with Maggie, yes. But not with Sahndra. Not until now. It would hurt her, maybe
irreparably so. But it had to be done. He had to own up to the truth with her. For his own survival
and because it was the right thing to do.
As he drove out of town in his Explorer with all of his clothes in huge luggage in the back, he
remembered Sahndra’s dark, sorrowful, unbelieving eyes as he spilled the truth to her. It grieved
him even more to hurt her with his own pain. But life wasn’t “The Wizard of Oz.” It didn’t always
turn out happy in the end.
She’d thrown her diamond ring at him and screamed horrors that he knew he’d hear later in his
dreams. She’d shamelessly and desperately begged him to stay and reconsider. To no avail. He’d
made up his mind.
“Gotta go, angel. Roger’s right. This place is unsafe. Too many memories. Too risky. See ya.”
And he, too, left for unknown destinations and a sea of anonymity.
Earl Ray grimaced in the dark bedroom because he knew she couldn’t see him. He caught himself
doing this more and more lately. Grimacing at her words. Cringing at her touch. He didn’t even
make a move towards her in the bed now. Not even a small one.
Author's Note: This story (and the subsequent fiction that follows it) is an alternative to what may have taken place after the Russ Town Saga storyline ended.
