By Rachel Torrent

While she waited for the big doors to open and signal that the divorce was final, Sahndra sat alone on a bench in the courthouse hallway. She thought of Earl Ray and how distracted he’d been the night before and that morning.

He told her that Julie had come to the store to see him. “A private, final farewell,” he’d called it. He hadn’t given Sahndra every detail of the conversation, and she was grateful She didn’t really want to know.

Since then, though, Earl Ray had been far away and down. He drank a lot last night, and she expected him to start drinking early again today. She couldn’t get close to him. It wasn’t that he was being ill with her or even pushing her away. But she knew he was in his own little painful world.

He’ll be okay once this is finally over, she told herself. He’ll return to his sensitive, attentive self, and things will be back to normal.

Back to normal. This phrase made Sahndra smile to herself. The state of affairs around her right now could hardly be considered “normal.”

Julie was in the next room divorcing Earl Ray because she had fallen madly in love with Roger Lococco, who Sahndra used to lust dramatically over. Then, after Earl Ray had been staying with Sahndra and Scottie in his time of distress, Sahndra and Scottie had a relationship-altering fight, which drove Sahndra into Earl Ray’s arms. The two of them had been comforting each other since Sahndra and Scottie chose to separate.

Normal. Right.

Sahndra had promised Earl Ray an exquisite, expensive meal later at a fancy restaurant far outside of town. She had also reserved the most elegant suite in the hotel near there. She knew he needed to get away from all his recent misery. So she planned to make him feel as special as she knew he was. And he was very special to her. She loved him. The way he deserved and needed to be loved.

She had wanted to be in there with him during this bad time. Beside him. But he had preferred that she wait for him. So she was waiting. Patiently. Once those doors opened, he’d have no more barriers on his road to recovery. His road to loving her.

Sahndra wasn’t aware of Roger’s presence until he sat down quietly on the bench opposite her. Had she been that lost in her thoughts? Or was he really the silent phantom his reputation claimed?

“Hello, Sahndra.” He spoke softly.

“What are YOU doing here, Roger?” She felt instantly protective of Earl Ray.

“Don’t be ridiculous. Why else would I be here?” He smiled at her. Briefly.

But she refused to be charmed. “Don’t you think it’s just a little inappropriate for you to show up at the divorce that YOU caused?”

He looked down the hall in both directions and then back at Sahndra. For drama. “Now I’m not so sure anymore that you have the right to preach ‘inappropriate’ to me. Aren’t you on the wrong side of the adultery rules yourself?”

Sahndra’s eyes flashed fire. But she controlled her temper. She hadn’t been prepared for a little battle with Mr. Lococco today. But she had to get used to him and his sharp wit. He was important to Julie now.

She tried to sound friendly instead of hostile. “Roger, I don’t have to explain a damn thing to you, but I will anyway. Scottie and I were doomed. It was over for us. And Earl Ray was there in my time of need.”

“And……conveniently…….there in your spare bedroom.” He smiled again, only for a second. A sarcastic little smile.

“You’re an asshole.” She couldn’t resist that much.

“So I’ve been told. By thousands. ……..Are they almost done in there?” He threw a glance towards the big closed doors.

“How the hell should I know?”

“Well, maybe you could consider this your test run. You’re up next, right?”

Sahndra wanted to get up and slap him. He was gorgeous up close, all in black, but he made her blood boil. She took a deep breath.

“Roger, I don’t know what the hell Julie sees in you.”

“Don’t worry about it………Did you see her before it started? How was she?” He seemed truly concerned for Julie.

“I didn’t see her. I came in with Earl Ray. She wasn’t here yet, and I was in the ladies room when she passed through…….But she’ll be fine,” Sahndra said.

“She wouldn’t let me bring her over here. I didn’t even get to see her last night. I think it’s hitting her hard.”

He really does care, Sahndra thought. She wasn’t familiar with this side of him. Or any side of him for that matter. He’d always been an enigma. But maybe he was actually a feeling human being.

“She had been with Earl Ray a lot of years, Roger. It’s hard to let go.” Sahndra sadly thought of Scottie as she said this.

Roger didn’t answer back. He just looked up and down the hallway again. He seemed tense. So Sahndra tried to ease his mind.

“But she’s got you now. And you’re what she wants most. She’ll be okay,” she said.

He faced her. “I don’t want her to regret it, ya know?”

“She won’t. Trust me. Not as long as you’re around.”

Roger looked down and smiled at the floor. After a minute, he looked up and said, “How’s Earl Ray doing with all this?”

“Well, this thing today brought him way down. But he’s really been doing well.”

“And you should know.” He grinned and raised his eyebrows slightly at her.

“Roger, why you always gotta be such a prick?”

Before he could spit out another quick, biting remark, the big doors opened. The lawyers filed out past them. And then Roger and Sahndra stood up. They waited for at least five minutes more.

Earl Ray emerged from the courtroom first. He looked like he’d just returned from the war. Crushed and grief-stricken. As if he’d given up totally. Sahndra rushed to his side. She wanted to hug him and make it all go away. He managed to look up and smile at her, and she gave him a big smile back. She tucked her arm in his, and they walked on down the hall.

As he passed Roger, Earl Ray didn’t even slow down. He kept walking but stared at Roger without expression. He had already said everything he wanted to say to Roger.

In the car, Sahndra asked him if he was okay.

“It’s over……I’m fine……Can we get a drink?”

“Sure thing, honey. Anything you want.” And she drove him to Seevuplay, hoping it was open at 11:30 a.m.

* * *

Meanwhile, over at the loft, Julie and Roger spent the whole afternoon in bed. She couldn’t seem to get enough of him, and he was completely willing to be there for her and fulfill all her wants and needs. What she needed most was him. His warm, lean body; his soothing, quiet voice; his passionate, unwavering affection. She allowed herself to be swallowed up in him. Doing so eased her foreboding sadness and sense of great loss.

They took a break from their intense love-making in the early afternoon for nourishment. A necessary diversion. They had some Chinese food delivered. Then they sat in bed and ate, sharing stuff and feeding each other. The stereo was playing Blues Traveler.

“I feel so damn much better…….Thank you,” she said to him.

“Don’t be thanking me. I’m not done with you yet.” He winked at her.

“It was a terrible experience……I’m glad it’s over,” she said, almost in a whisper.

“You’re not sorry you did it?”

She looked up at him, chopsticks in mid-air. “No……not at all. Why?”

“I just worry about you, baby. I don’t want ya to start hating me later ‘cause I forced you to leave your wonderful husband for me,” he said, eating.

“Roger, you’re my choice. You didn’t force me. ……….He WAS a fantastic husband and a good person. But you’re what I can’t do without.”

He smiled. “Okay. I’m convinced. The lady loves me,” he said while digging into a small box of food.

“Hurry up and finish. I’m not done with you yet either, mister.”

For hours afterwards, they lay in bed and made love, talked, and joked around. No one else in the world existed for them. Julie felt closer to him than ever before. He IS what I can’t do without, she thought. Slowly, slowly she was beginning to move away from the engulfing pain she had been feeling earlier.

In the late afternoon, Roger was lying next to her, propped up on his elbow so that he could see her face. With his other hand, he traced imaginary lines on her skin. They were both satiated and a little tired. But Julie didn’t want to be away from him, even for a minute.

“So………how much longer are you gonna wear this?”

Julie was sitting up in bed against the brass headboard and had her left hand on her stomach. Roger was touching her ring finger. And her wedding rings.

He caught her off-guard. “Uh……..I hadn’t even thought about it……..I’ve been wearing these for years…….habit, I guess.”

“And now?”

“Okay. I’ll take them off now.” Julie did take off both rings and placed them on the nightstand beside her. “There. No reason to wear them anymore.”

“I’ll get ya another one if ya want,” he said. He raised her left hand and kissed it.

When she didn’t answer him, he looked up at her face.

“What?”

“Volunteering to buy me a new diamond as if you’re going out to get ice cream or something isn’t very romantic, Roger.”

A little flicker of a smile crossed his face. “Sorry, sweetheart. You gotta remember I’m new at all this. I’m playing by ear.”

“I’ll wait for you to catch up. We’ve got time………..Come up here.”

He moved up her body and pulled her to him as he lay his head on her pillow. She wrapped her arms around him. She felt loved and secure.

“Let’s go out somewhere. I wanna buy you dinner. You deserve something nice after this morning,” he said.

“Okay. But can we just stay here…….like this…….for a few more minutes?”

“Sure, baby. No rush.”

* * *

At Seevuplay, Sahndra and Earl Ray had a two-hour lunch. She ate hers. He drank his. Oh, he had solid food, but he ate very little of it. The alcohol was numbing his sadness and helping him. He came out of his dark, quiet mood eventually.

He didn’t want to discuss the finalized divorce or Julie, Sahndra discovered. But he was otherwise doing fine with his conversation by the time they left the restaurant. They had to go back to the warehouse and pack overnight bags for their little jaunt.

Earl Ray never stopped sipping a drink. And Sahndra didn’t mind. He’d been so good to her as a friend and now a lover that she wanted him to be content. Today of all days. No matter what it took.

They checked into the penthouse suite first. It was lovely and worth Sahndra’s money, but she couldn’t help but wince at the memory that Scottie lived in a penthouse too now. Without her. She put him out of her head. This was Earl Ray’s night, and she intended to devote all her attentions to him alone.

So when he lay down on the king-size bed and called out for her, she wasted no time in joining him. He was lying across the bed on his back, and she sat down beside him, kissing his cheek. His empty glass was on the nightstand.

“You look delicious, Earl Ray,” she told him, bending over him. And he did. He still wore the dark blue dress slacks and baby-blue shirt he’d had on at the courthouse. He’d taken off the sport coat and draped it on a chair. He’d also removed his shoes. His hair was tussled, and his eyes were a little bloodshot. But they were shining, and he was smiling. He looked and comfortable and, well, delicious to Sahndra.

“Thanks, sweetie…….And thanks for putting up with me all day……I know I’ve been a pain in the ass.”

“You’ve been delightful. I expected much worse.” She started unbuttoning his shirt.

“I’m sorry if I embarrassed you…….”

“Earl Ray, you’ve been fine. Just relax.”

She pulled his shirt out of his pants and opened it to reveal the well-built chest she’d come to adore. As she bent over to kiss it, Earl Ray ran his hand through her hair.

“I love to taste the salt on your skin,” she whispered as she ran her tongue around both of his nipples. His chest heaved as he sighed heavily. He touched her breasts and found that her nipples were hard as well.

Sahndra kissed a line down the middle of his chest and stomach to his belt buckle. She could see his pants bulging already. Then she sat up and quickly removed his pants and shorts. He let out a groan when her wet lips touched the head of his penis.

After lots of passionate sex, including valleys between mountains Earl Ray had never had the pleasure of exploring before, they both collapsed. Out of breath, he said, “Shit! I could get used to that.”

“I’d let you get used to it, honey.”

“And now I know what the hell Roger AIN’T getting!” He laughed. Julie had not been as well endowed in the chest area as Mel was.

Sahndra laughed too. It encouraged her to hear him crack jokes about Julie’s and Roger’s sex life AND to hear him actually speak Roger’s name after weeks of refusing to do so. Signs of dramatic progress in his recovery.

She wiped the drying residue off her with a bedside tissue and then rolled over into his arms. “I love you, Earl Ray. You don’t have to answer. I just want you to know I do.”

He held onto her tighter and kissed her forehead. Everything was going to be just fine for everyone.