By Micki L. Bailey

"Sometimes you just gotta get it out of your system."
--Old Southern Saying

Late Friday afternoon. Time to either start thinking about dinner plans or start drinking. Or, possibly, both.

The easiest choice for Earl Ray Michaels on this particular Friday afternoon was looking more and more like drinking. He wasn’t having much luck focusing on dinner plans or anything else. His thoughts all seemed to be caught in a blustery updraft, whirling around in his head out of his control.

One particularly annoying thought had hit him: Just what in the hell was he doing here in Portland, Oregon? Had he been asleep for the past two months only to wake up now and discover this complete change of scenery? This total rearrangement of his whole world? How, in God’s name, had he possibly ended up here?

As he made a tall drink in his kitchen, he remembered living in Tucson. A sunny, dry city he had felt welcomed by and had grown to love. The recent past had been simple to forget – the Army/Navy store he had owned, his beloved shooting range, and that failed relationship he still regretted starting up. Hell, he had even found a new someone in Arizona to get him through his nights.

But this wasn’t Tucson. This was Portland, a different world altogether. Portland was wet and chilly although it was still late fall. So why on Earth had he left the warmth and comfort of Audrey and Tucson to come to this damp, cold place that felt very much like the end of the universe?

Because Maggie was here now, and she had called him.

Oh, yeah.

And that alone had seemed like enough of a driving force to sustain another major overhaul of his life – leaving southern Arizona and putting down stakes here in Oregon. Because she had asked him to.

Or rather Roger had asked him to, now that he recalled the events correctly. Roger had instinctively known how much good it would do for Maggie’s psyche if Earl Ray, still her best friend, came back into her life again. And so Roger had asked this ex-husband of hers to hang around – under the guise of assisting him with a business venture he was starting. Yeah, that was how the story had happened.

Earl Ray, though, had seen through Roger’s semi-transparent reasoning. He understood fully why he really wanted him here with them, forming this peculiar little triangle. Roger had done it for Maggie. He had loved her that much.

Earl Ray had come to realize now after being around him that Roger actually needed her – that she was maybe the first human he’d ever needed. And that he probably couldn’t handle this lonely isolation up here without her. So to make her happy and to atone for the remote seclusion he had forced on her, Roger sought out what would please her most and stopped at nothing to obtain it for her.

Simply put, Earl Ray thought, because she was what Roger must have, he would get for her what she must have. And, coincidentally, it had been her former husband this time that would best soothe her soul.

THAT is why Earl Ray was right here right now. Because of the intangible, emotional, spiritual connection between the other two in this strange triangle. Sure, he had come initially just to see her again, to assure himself that she was okay. But he’d stayed on because he was necessary. Necessary for Maggie’s peace of mind and, therefore, Roger’s as well.

Okay. It was time now for another drink. This heavy contemplation was working up his thirst, and he had just had an epiphany. The stark realization he’d just come upon is what had his mind in a spin at the moment: that Roger’s adoration for her went so deep that he could not only condone but encourage her ex-husband to rejoin their close-knit world if that’s what she wanted.

Earl Ray knew he wouldn’t be so selfless and tolerant if the situation were reversed. Oh, no. He’d be obsessively jealous and possessive of her, selfishly monopolizing her and expecting her to cling only to him, especially if a former lover was involved.

Yes, he’d kill for her, just like he knew Roger would. But, if it came down to it, he’d kill even ROGER for her. And Roger, he understood, wouldn’t/couldn’t kill HIM because of her. The difference contained insurmountable significance.

Roger was past all that pettiness, it seemed, if he had ever dealt with it at all. So did that mean he loved her more? Because he was willing to please her at all cost? Because he’d protect her and give her anything, no matter what?

At the exact moment Earl Ray realized that the answer to this question was a resounding "yes," he was also hit with the jolting truth that Maggie loved Roger with the same depth and intensity. Like she had never loved him. Roger was her center, her focus, the one she should have found first, the one she would love from now on. Earl Ray understood he’d never make her eyes catch fire the way Roger could.

So as the whiskey slowed down the frenzy of his thoughts, he wondered why it had been his horrid fate that she’d found him first. Was the beauty and happiness of those six years they spent together supposed to balance out the misery and heartache of her leaving him for his best friend? And why in the hell did it all still cause him so much agony after three long years?

He should get up off his ass and call her now. They’d had no contact since the trip to Tucson had ended Wednesday evening. Two days. And he’d acted like such an ass on the road with her. Probably even scared her with his manic, unpredictable aggression and his surprising, pent-up hostility towards her.

It had just caught him completely off-guard to be so alone with and so close to her again. And he had not controlled himself very well. He was truly sorry for it all, but she, no doubt, didn’t want to hear that now. Just the fact that Roger had not torn his head off had been her answer.

But he really should call her now. It was almost Friday night, and, after all, she was his responsibility now. Now since Roger had taken off to Virginia that morning for some more of his "secret agent man" shenanigans and left Earl Ray in charge of his wife’s safety and welfare.

He smiled now when he remembered going over to their loft the day before to discuss the details with Roger. Maggie had been conspicuously absent. "Ah, she’s taken Vinnie shopping for something..............Guess they don’t have any damn malls back East," Roger had said with a chuckle.

Obviously, she hadn’t given him every tiny detail of the trip, or else this scene would have played out very differently. He was almost positive that forcibly kissing Maggie wasn’t one of the things Roger wanted him around for.

So I’ll call her, he thought. Right after I’m done with drink. Roger will be gone for a week or two, and we’ll have to see each other at some point.

"Oh, hey, you," Maggie said when she answered the phone. "I was just thinking ‘bout you."

Feeling relaxed and mellow now, Earl Ray smiled to himself.

* * *

And it was true. She had been sitting there wondering when her newly-appointed guardian would begin his duties. Roger’s plane had left that morning at 9:13 (which he had considered an excellent start), and Maggie had spent all day trying to distract herself and settle the familiar tension she felt building inside.

She was working on her second glass of wine. Or maybe it was the third. Her tension was a dangerous fusing of her usual PMS and the anxiety of this new predicament – the absence of Roger. She was familiar with this feeling and just prayed that the lava inside wouldn’t build up to an erupting point. An old song from the ‘80s popped into her head: "I go crazy when I’m without you."

But she would make it until he returned. She had promised him she would. It was just that this ridiculous movie she’d rented was doing nothing but worsening her agitated state of mind. Yes, the wine was assisting, but not entirely. She had a sense of restlessness and impatience.

Many times before had she felt this way, but in the past two and a half years, Roger had always been around to take the edge off, to be the analgesic, the balm. But not tonight. So she was sitting on the sofa with her feet propped up and trying to turn off the continuous noise in her head. Her memory took her back to the day before.

Coincidentally, she had been out when Earl Ray had visited the loft to hear Roger’s instructional lecture. And that could be attributed to sweet Vinnie, who had innocently complained earlier about his "sad" worn leather jacket.

"It’s freaking cold here, and it ain’t even Novemba yet," he had said with a boyish frown as they ate breakfast that morning.

It was a delicious southern-style spread Maggie had prepared after forcefully dragging herself away from Roger’s warm and sleeping body next to her. The previous night had been long and amorous for them, and she smiled while she cooked as she replayed every inflamed second of it in her head.

Vinnie, with the benefit of more sleep than Roger, had arisen first and drank coffee while she finished. She was sure he had heard her passionate outbursts during the night, but he politely said nothing about it.

"What’s wrong with that piece of shit you wore in?" Roger was eating with his shirt half unbuttoned. He was groggy. Gorgeously groggy, Maggie thought.

Vinnie grimaced. "Well, beside the fact that it’s fifteen years old........."

"And that it stopped fitting your fat ass only about TEN years ago." Roger looked down at his plate. His sarcasm flooded the atmosphere.

"Fuck you, Roga."

Roger raised only his eyes. "Nice comeback, Vince. Very clever."

So later when Maggie heard Roger on the phone asking Earl Ray his all-important question, she quickly sought Vinnie out. "C’mon, sweetheart. I know where in Portland we can find the perfect leather jacket." And Vinnie had been all too willing to spend time in a strange city with Roger’s girl.

Maggie’s thoughts hadn’t included much of her ex-husband until her current one left the city. Then her mind wandered back to the Tucson trip, the trek that seemed so long ago now. Roger’s startling news on her return had arrested all of her concentration and overshadowed everything else.

But now he was gone. And Earl Ray was here. What would it be like between them now? Had she somehow given him the wrong set of signals to provoke him into the behavior she’d seen on the trip? Had she inadvertently caused what had happened? She really wasn’t sure. But they should talk, she knew.

Of all of that was streaming through her overly anxious consciousness this early Friday evening, this was predominant: And dear God, above all else, please let Roger be safe while he’s away from me. Please, oh please, bring him back unharmed. Because I need him desperately.

So when Earl Ray rang her up right about that time, he had no idea what he was stepping mellowly into. Sure, he’d experienced her PMS before – before the advent of an anecdote named Lococco, the anecdote that was not available to her tonight.

* * *

"No, Earl Ray! What are you? Drunk?"

"Pretty much...........pretty much."

They were at the bar waiting for a table in Park Palisades, an upscale, reputable restaurant in the downtown area very close to the loft. Since both of them had been putting the alcohol away and couldn’t very well drive, Maggie had called the limousine service that Roger occasionally dealt with in his auto business. They had been driven safely to this new restaurant and now waited in tall bar chairs rather impatiently to eat.

"Why are you drinking so much? You knew you were on call for babysitting duty."

"How was I supposed to know you’d wanna go out? ‘Specially since you avoided me so damn well yesterday." Earl Ray looked over at her.

Maggie smirked. "I wasn’t ready to see you in Roger’s presence yet.........Don’t bug me ‘bout it.........I’m not in the mood."

He’d already guessed that. Her "mood" was evident – heated and volatile. She seemed as energized as he was sedate. He proceeded with caution. "You gonna tell him ‘bout our trip when he gets back?"

"You mean the other stuff? The stuff I didn’t tell him already?" She was restlessly looking around the crowded, bustling room.

"Yes, Maggie.........the stuff he’d bust me up about."

"Naa. I don’t think so. What good would it do?.............You’d just better learn to behave your damn self."

"If I ain’t learned by now, I guess I’m hopeless." Earl Ray smiled a little smile into his drink.

She looked at him with something bordering on scorn. "Fine. Then you can get busted up next time."

"C’mon, Mags.........I’m sorry. Really, I am. I don’t know what got into me on that damn trip."

"Musta been bullshit since you’re full of it." She was quick to spit out all her sharp-sounding words.

"Roger trusts me, I guess...........leaving you in my care and all."

"No..........He trusts me," she said.

He glanced over at her again as she sipped her wine. Her cheeks were flushed, and she was beautiful to him. "I talked to Jack French yesterday."

Now she stared at him full in the face. Her eyes softened a bit. Jack had always interested her. "How’s he doing?" A quiet voice this time.

"He’s great. Same ol’ Jack. Going through the ladies as fast as he can..........I called to tell him ‘bout LaMont."

Maggie’s face darkened, and she lowered her eyes. "Poor Scottie." She couldn’t get the image out of her head of him laying flat out, splayed hideously and unnaturally on the concrete floor.

"He already knew ‘bout it..........That wretched ex of mine had gotten the news the week before."

She smiled an evil smile. "Wretched...........You’ve been ‘round Roger too long, Earl Ray. He’s got you talking like he does."

"Oh, Roger has another name for her...........cum-burping whore...........I laughed my ass off at that one..........I didn’t know he said stuff like that."

Maggie smiled her evil smile again. "For her, he does.........He despises her.............after what happened." She didn’t go on.

He moved his chair over closer to her, to hear her. "What did happen, honey? You never told me. And that bitch never told me either."

The dark clouds all over Maggie’s face broke out into a storm. Her eyes flared up and took on a faraway look. "Fucking cunt...........She never told you ‘cause you mighta killed her pathetic, whorish ass."

"What, baby?"

"It’ll hurt, Earl Ray."

He laughed sarcastically. "Are you kidding me, man? Nothing about that sad lump of shit can hurt me anymore."

"She was fucking Scottie after you guys got married."

He looked shocked, but not upset. "Really."

"Really. But then he got sick of her..............when she starting putting on the pounds and all...........you know...........when she couldn’t get pregnant."

Earl Ray sighed and signaled for another round of drinks. "Yeah, I know.......turned me off too........disgusting blob...................I hadda turn off the lights to fuck her."

Maggie laughed. "Well, for some odd reason, maybe ‘cause he was the only one left who’d even give her the time of day, she decided to go after Roger."

Now Earl Ray laughed. "Roger? For real? And you musta found out!"

"I caught the fat ass! I just happened to be in the basement parking lot of the loft when they came back from one of their Harley rides, those rides Roger hated giving her by this time ‘cause she was so damn big.........And before she got off the bike, she reached ‘round and grabbed his cock with both hands. I heard her say, ‘Now I wanna ride this.’ They didn’t know I was there."

Earl Ray was wide-eyed and grinning. "And?"

"And Roger jumped off the bike and wheeled around on her with the most hateful expression I’ve ever seen him give anyone. He said, ‘What the fuck?’ And she said, ‘Yeah. Why not?’"

"What did Roger say then?"

"He said, ‘Sweetheart, I’d havta roll your ass in flour and go for the wet spot, and I just ain’t interested, to tell ya the truth.........Comprende?.....Fat girl?......So get the hell outta here before I let Maggie kick your cellulite-enhanced ass.’"

They both howled with laughter. "He saw you?" Earl Ray asked.

"Yeah, when he stood up. I told her to get the fuck away from my husband and me and to STAY away...........We didn’t have much to say to each other after that............foul, nauseating wretch, as you say............She woulda taken him right out from under me if she could have.........pathetic."

"Mags, I hardly think Roger’d rather be under that than under you."

"Yeah, he’s made that perfectly clear," she said.

"Well, the pig never mentioned it to me. Not ‘bout that or ‘bout Scottie."

"Why would she, Earl Ray? She was a deceitful piece of human waste anyway........always lying to somebody............Scottie had a few choice comments ‘bout her too right before he left town..............He was full of contempt."

They’d made the full circle back around to Scottie, and the conversation grew solemn again. "So..........maybe you won’t feel so guilty about leaving her like you did and going to Tucson," Maggie said quietly.

He scoffed. "I don’t feel guilty. I didn’t love her. I told you that. She was a diversion – something to do. By the time I left, I was sick of her needy, shallow personality. Screw her."

"Seems like most everybody did.............God, let’s change the subject. Why’d we even let that cunt waste so much of our precious time?"

A few minutes later, while Earl Ray was in the Men’s Room, Maggie was bumped, rather rudely in her opinion, by someone beside her. Being in a confrontational frame of mind, she turned sharply to face her disturber, who turned out to be a distinguished-looking dark-haired man about her age. He was standing rather than sitting, and he smiled at her which pissed her off because she thought that he might be trying to hit on her.

"Yes?" she asked him sternly.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Did you accidentally hit me, or was there something you wanted to say?" Maggie knew she was being rude, but she didn’t care. Her mood and the wine had combined to effectively alter her personality.

The man tried to smile politely again. "I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I’d nudged you. Please accept my apology."

"Nudge?! I’ll have a bruise tomorrow!" she said melodramatically.

The man laughed again. He must have thought she was making a joke. She wasn’t. "My, what a feisty one you are. My name is Benjamin Katz." He extended his hand warmly.

He is trying to pick me up, Maggie thought unpleasantly. "Yeah, well, I’m the Queen of Sheba, mister. Please just leave me alone, if ya don’t mind. It’s hard enough waiting so long in this damn noisy bar without being hassled by some stranger." She knew her guard was way down, and bravery she wouldn’t normally feel was shining through.

Withdrawing his hand but not seeming as offended as she thought he should, the man said, "You’re waiting for a table in the dining room?"

"So am I stuttering, or what? Isn’t that what I just said?" Roger would put a bridle on me if he was here, she thought. But she was enjoying herself. For the first time all day, she felt good.

The stranger smiled one more time. His teeth were perfect, she noticed. "Feisty, indeed. That’s refreshing."

She narrowed her eyes. "Are you making fun of me now? First you bump me into next week, and now you’re making a joke at my expense?"

"Is there a problem here, baby?" Earl Ray rejoined her and put an arm around her shoulders protectively.

His warmth felt comforting to her. "No, I think I can handle it. No big deal.........Can we get another drink?"

"This is your husband?" The stranger, still standing there, asked.

"Yes," Earl Ray said quickly. And Maggie smiled involuntarily.

"Hi, I’m Benjamin Katz, as I was telling your lovely wife here." He extended his hand again, this time to Earl Ray.

"Earl Ray Michaels, and this is Maggie." Unlike her, Earl Ray shook Mr. Katz’s hand. She kept quiet now.

"I’m sorry if I inconvenienced you. I have to go now. Have a nice evening." Before he left, Benjamin motioned the bartender over. "Russ, give these kind people another drink, whatever they’d like, and put their bill on my tab."

He smiled and left as Earl Ray was saying, "You don’t havta do that."

"Who the hell was that, Maggie?" He asked after he was gone.

"Benjamin Katz. Didn’t you hear the man?"

Several moments later, as they sat there and sipped their drinks, the maitre d’ approached and informed them their table was ready. When they sat down at the spot assigned to them, they were in awe. It had to be the choicest, most elegant table in the house.

"Wow!" Earl Ray exclaimed. "What’d we do to deserve this place?"

"Mr. Katz specified it for the Michaels party, sir," the maitre d’ said softly.

Maggie gasped. Lights were coming on and flashing in her head. "Do you mind if I ask you who exactly Mr. Katz is?"

The maitre d’ looked a little surprised that she didn’t know. "He’s the owner of Park Palisades, madam. Is there anything else right now?"

She caught her breath enough to say, "No..............thank you."

As he walked away, Maggie peered cross the table at Earl Ray. "That’s just great!" she whispered. "I’ve successfully insulted the damn owner! He’ll probably be back in the kitchen spitting in our food!"

"Gross, Maggie. Is that what you used to do at The Sanctuary?"

She sat back and sighed. "No.......of course not. But I can’t believe I was so fucking rude to him."

"Don’t worry ‘bout it, sweetie. That’s just the way you are."

"You shut up the hell up, Earl Ray."

Despite her angst-filled regret, Maggie and Earl Ray enjoyed a perfectly delightful meal. Her entree was rosemary chicken, and he had stuffed pork chops. He pronounced the whole experience the "absolute best" he’d had in Oregon – outside her kitchen, of course. She hailed the food, as well as the service, "excellent indeed."

Then she had added, "I adore this place! It’s all-around wonderful! Roger will love it."

When their waiter told them in a hushed voice that their tab had been "taken care of," Maggie immediately asked if Mr. Katz was still in the building. "I will inquire, ma’am," the waiter had replied.

Mr. Katz was still in the building and promptly arrived at their table shortly. He stood tall over them and smiled that white, perfect smile again. He’s really quite handsome, Maggie thought.

"How was your dinner this evening, Mr. and Mrs. Michaels?" His voice was deep and smooth. Very charming, she thought.

"Superb, man. Your chef outdid himself," Earl Ray said as he patted his stomach.

"The best rosemary chicken I’ve ever had, Mr. Katz. And thank you so much for comping everything. You really didn’t havta do that. And I’m really sorry for being so rude earlier." Maggie said.

"Please........Call me Benjamin........And I’m glad you liked it. It was the least I could do after knocking you into next week out in the bar." He smiled again, and Maggie blushed with embarrassment that she’d been so brazenly hostile to this man earlier.

"Well, Benjamin..........Maggie here’s a cook herself..........Used to have her own outstanding place too."

Maggie sat up in her chair and glared over at him. "A chef, honey! Not a cook! I went to school and passed strenuous exams to earn the title of ‘chef!’ Please excuse him, Benjamin. He’s been drinking for about 47 hours."

Benjamin was laughing quietly. "My chef would love you. He’s always correcting people on that particular point." He glanced at Earl Ray. "These chefs. They must be sensitive about that, huh?"

"Aw, this one’s sensitive ‘bout lots of things...........But she really can cook." He winked at Maggie across the table.

"You really had your own place?" Benjamin directed his attention to her.

"Yeah. For several years. Then we moved up here...........Now I just play in my own kitchen at home." Nostalgia was in her voice.

"That’s so interesting! Say, if you miss the business, you should come in one day soon when you’re not busy and meet Fredo, my chef. He can show you around the kitchen if you’d like.........That is, if your husband doesn’t mind." He glanced back at Earl Ray.

Earl Ray laughed. "I’m not really her husband, Benjamin. I’m just watching her ‘til the real one comes back from outta town."

"She needs watching, huh?" He chuckled.

"Hell, yes."

"Shut up, Earl Ray," Maggie interjected. "And Benjamin, I’d love a tour of the kitchen. I miss mine a lot. That would be lovely."

"Well, here’s my card. You just phone or drop by anytime that is convenient for you. It has been a real pleasure meeting the both of you." He put a small card on the table for each of them.

"Same here, Benjamin." Earl Ray stood up and shook his hand again. "That was a damn fine meal."

"A thoroughly pleasurable dining experience, I must say. I can’t wait to bring my real husband here." Maggie shot Earl Ray a sarcastic look.

Benjamin laughed. "And I look forward to meeting him too. Good night, Maggie." He took her extended hand and kissed it.

In the limo, Earl Ray patted her knee. "He’s sweet on you, Mags."

She squinted her eyes as she looked at him. "You’re crazy."

"No, I’m not. I could tell. I know what it feels like, remember."

She sighed disgustedly. "Give me a break. He’s just a nice Jewish man who happens to own an excellent restaurant that I’ve been invited to get a closer look at."

"Um hmm. And next it’ll be his excellent house up in the hills or his excellent yacht or something else excellent that you get invited to get a closer look at."

"Just shut up, okay? How many times do I gotta tell you that tonight?"

"We’ll just see, Mags.........We’ll just see..........You know what they say......"

She wrinkled up her face with irritation. "What, Earl Ray, do they say?"

"While the cat’s away.............other Katz might chase the mice." He laughed, pleased with himself.

"For the last time, just shut the hell up!"

"But it was fun being your husband again…….like old times, baby." His voice was quiet and full of something like longing. He didn’t look at her.

"Don’t start, Earl Ray. We got a long way to go before ‘the cat’ comes home."