By Rachel Torrent

When Julie walked into the kitchen’s back door at the Snake Pit, the entire staff took notice of her and changed their demeanors. Not in a fearful, cowering way. Just out of respect, the way they looked at Roger. But she was sure they felt much more comfortable around her than around him.

Almost three full months had passed since she’d volunteered to overhaul the dining aspects of the Snake Pit and make it a decent place to eat. Three months of working “in the dredges” with the other employees, as they called it. She’d spent lots of time back here rearranging the whole kitchen and “coaching” the cooks on smarter, easier, healthier food preparation. And they all felt a bond with her because of it. They liked her.

Plus…………..she was Roger’s girlfriend.

And that, in itself, was a whole new ball game everyone was learning the rules for.

His employees had never seen Roger “close to” another person or “care about” someone else. And it was quite obvious now that Julie had gained this status. So they admired and respected her for that too. To win their elusive, solitary boss, she must be something special, right? And besides, if they upset Julie, they would most certainly feel Roger’s wrath.

So they took notice of her when she walked in.

It was about seven o’clock on a Thursday night. Business had been unusually slow over at Renaissance, and Caleb hadn’t needed her help in the kitchen at all. So she had made the obligatory owner rounds in the dining room and then hurried over here to Roger’s bar. To see him, of course. All the time she wasn’t with him she spent waiting to see him again. Young, obsessive love.

They had plans to meet at her house later. They spent as much time there as they spent at his loft. She loved being with him at both places. And he seemed to feel more comfortable alone with her than in a crowd. And she hated being away from him. So tonight she thought she’d sneak in and surprise him. They could leave and be alone together. She could almost feel his hands on her body already.

Randall, the head cook, hugged her. He looked a little surprised to see her. “The boss know you’re here?” he asked.

Julie smiled. “Not yet. I thought I’d surprise him.”

One of the new servers let out an uncontrolled giggle behind her, and Randall shot him a nasty glance. Then he looked back at Julie again.

Puzzled, she said, “What was that all about?”

“Nothing………he’s new here.”

“So where’s Roger?” She was anxious again to see him.

Randall seemed hesitant. Almost nervous. “Well……..he’s out there……in that non-smoking room.”

“Thanks. See ya.” Julie brushed past him. He wanted to stop her, but didn’t. Couldn’t.

She was out in the main bar area immediately. Dark and ominous, as usual. “Atmosphere, sweetheart,” she’d heard Roger say more than once. She looked around for him before she remembered Randall saying “the non-smoking room.” A huge area on the other side of the bar that never completely filled up. She waved at Jake the bartender as she walked over and looked through the smoky, painted glass that separated this room from everything else.

Roger was there all right. Sitting at a table with a beautiful, slim, dark-haired woman Julie had never seen before.

From the looks of things, they knew each other fairly well. They smiled and laughed and appeared comfortable together. Like two people who were several dates familiar with each other. This woman had Roger’s complete attention.

Julie had never seen Roger with another woman. Not even before herself. As she watched the two of them now, her heart recoiled up inside her ribcage. The rest of the world became a vacuum around her. She swallowed, but nothing went down. She forced herself to turn around and march back into the kitchen. Everyone back there had apparently been waiting for her. They half-assed tried to warn me, she thought.

Deciding to react with anger instead of hurt, she said, “Who…….in the hell…….is that?” She spoke quietly, stressing every word, gritting her teeth. It was addressed to everyone.

After an uncomfortable silence, Randall said, “We don’t know, Jules. Never saw her before.”

“Where did she come from?” Julie was refusing her urge to cry. Maybe she was overreacting, but all she could see was a fiery blood red.

“Don’t know that either. They just came in here a couple of hours ago. The bitch didn’t even get a tour of the place.”

“Bitch.” So the staff had taken sides. Her side. This upset her more. That they saw the situation as sides to be taken. “You mean that he’s been out there with that woman for two hours now?”

Randall turned back around to his stove. “Yeah, Julie.” He didn’t want to get involved any deeper.

But Julie couldn’t stop. Jealousy had never been her prettiest or most subtle emotion. “And she’s never been in here before? What about other women? Does this happen often? Tell me, damnit!” She heard that she’d raised her voice. She knew she was just short of a tantrum. She tried to calm herself.

Without turning around to face her, Randall said, “Roger don’t associate with nobody, Jules. I don’t know what to tell ya on this one.”

Julie stood there for one whole minute while they worked around her. What to do now? Leave and pretend it never happened? They weren’t married, after all. But she thought the monogamy issue was a given with them since he’d asked her to leave her husband for him. There was no question that they loved each other exclusively. So what was this today? Had her eyes seen something that wasn’t really there? She decided to take another look.

She gathered herself and took a deep breath. Then she slowly walked back out to the smoky glass. Roger and the sultry beauty were still there. Still having a wonderful time, it seemed. He even reached down and picked up her napkin when she dropped it. And smiled at her. The smile Julie thought was hers alone.

As Julie watched, she felt her tiny world falling apart in huge pieces. In her mind, Roger was acting far too friendly with this strange woman, a woman who obviously wasn’t strange to him. He was all she could think of, and thinking of him now with another woman was exposing her raw skin to an alcohol bath. She was suffocating. All the trust and love she’d thought they shared was dissolving in front of her.

“Here, sugar. This’ll make ya feel better.” Jake was behind her, sliding a nice red drink in her direction. “Sit down and talk to me.”

He had startled her. She caught her breath. Had she been standing there blatantly staring? Was she making a fool of herself?

She sat down on the bar chair so that she could still see the happy couple. And she drank the pretty red drink. “Thanks, Jake. What a fool I am. I shoulda known.”

His turn to look startled. “Shoulda known what?” Then he glanced over at his boss. He laughed. “You’re worried ‘bout that? You? You gotta be bullshitting me.”

“He didn’t know I was coming over, Jake. And here I find him with some model-looking babe. I’m an idiot.” She drank more of the drink, keeping her eye on Roger.

“Look, Jules. That don’t mean nothing. Gotta be somebody he used to do business with or something. You know you’re the cat’s meow.” He smiled at her. She didn’t feel like smiling back.

“Right, Jake. I sure FEEL like the cat’s meow sitting over here watching him fawning all over that bitch. Maybe I should just leave.”

“Oh, I’m guessing that’s not your style at all. Just hang on here with me ‘til he gets up. I’m telling ya, though, ya ain’t got nothing to worry ‘bout. I’ve seen him look at you.”

At that time, their waitress went over to their table, spoke to them and then came over to the bar. She said “hello” to Julie and then gave Jake her drink orders. To the waitress, nothing appeared out of the ordinary. Evidently.

“What’s the boss want?” Jake asked her.

“Nothing. They’re leaving soon,” she answered him without looking up. What was she? Braindead? Julie thought.

Julie turned to her. “Did you say they’re leaving?”

She looked up at Julie. “Yeah. Sounded like he was taking her over to his loft. After they get something to eat.”

Julie stared at her. She either had no clue who Julie was, or she didn’t care. Julie didn’t care either. The calming effect that the red drink had had on her was now null and void. She saw fire in her mind again.

How could Roger do this to her? She thought of everything she’d gone through just to be with him. The uproar it had caused, the lives it had affected. And now she saw it all coming down to this. A cheap affair. With someone she could never compete with. Someone more worldly and refined and stunning than she could ever be. More Roger’s equal. She didn’t think she could accept the black hole this defeat would put her in.

So she let her volatile temper take control. She considered it her only chance of survival.

She hopped off the bar chair and gripped the glass that now held only ice. She slammed it down on the floor, shattering it and making a loud, piercing noise.

“I don’t need this shit!” She screamed, not caring who heard her. Might as well go out in a blaze of glory, she thought. Or a blaze of fury. Or just a blaze. Give ‘em all something to remember her by.

She grabbed her purse and stormed away towards the front door. Tears were in her eyes, but a volcanic eruption was in her soul. She knew she had to get outside before she lost all control completely.

But she didn’t make it.

Roger saw her for the first time when the glass shattered. He jumped up without any explanation to his table mate and ran after her. He must have known instantly that calling out to her wouldn’t slow her down. Nor would grabbing her arm. So he just did the most logical, quickest thing he could think of.

He tackled her.

He caught up with her and simultaneously wrapped both his arms around her from behind, forcing her to stop. He held on to her so tightly that she couldn’t move forward another inch. She knew it was him. She could smell him.

“Whoa………..Where ya going in such a firestorm, Little Miss Dangerous? Hmmm?” He said to her quietly, softly, soothingly.

Her heart ached. “Anywhere………..away from you…………..Sorry I fucked up your date.” She almost choked getting this out.

Without letting go of her, he moved around in front of her. To face her. He held her arms and looked into her eyes. “My date? You think Jody is my date?”

She finally raised her eyes up to his. “Jody? How nice. Well, what else would it look like to me when I see you sitting at a table all over some gorgeous woman? Huh, Roger?”

He moved his right hand to brush her hair off her face. Two tears had rolled down her cheeks. “Honey, you got it all wrong. Jody is Vinnie’s cousin. You know my buddy, Vinnie, I told you about? She called from the airport. She had an unexpected layover. That’s all. Not a date.”

Julie looked his face over and couldn’t find any insincerity. Could she have been wrong? Was he really her beloved after all? He smiled at her.

“I saw you, Roger. You looked like lovers. I was dying over at the bar watching you two.”

He almost laughed. “No, no, sweetheart. YOU’RE my lover. The only one I got. Jody’s just somebody I haven’t seen in years. I was trying to be nice. I do that sometimes, ya know.”

Julie let two more tears fall. His voice was slowly calming her erupted soul. “The waitress said you were taking her back to your loft.”

Now he did laugh. “Damn bitch waitress. She’s outta here tomorrow. We were leaving to come over to Renaissance. To eat. To meet you. I was just describing the loft to her. C’mon now. You gotta know me better than that.” He wiped the most recent tears off her face.

“You’re not fucking her?”

“She’s a lesbian, Julie. And no, I wouldn’t fuck her even if she wanted to. I got somebody else for that.”

Julie dropped her head now. Roger pulled her to him and hugged her tightly. He rubbed her back and stroked her hair. He kissed the top of her head. She soaked it all in, the balm to her psyche. Thank God. Thank God. Thank God, was all she could hear in her mind.

“Are you okay now? You believe me?” he asked her after a little while. The rest of the world had stopped for them.

“I guess so……….I’m sorry for creating such a scene.”

“Ah, that’s just you being you, baby. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Now c’mon. I want you to meet her. I told her about you, and now you’ve made a damn fine entrance.”

“I’m embarrassed, Roger.”

“I’m proud of you. Ya think I want some wimpy little girlfriend? Huh?” He kissed her temple.

Julie looked up and breathed in some fresh air. “Okay. If you say so.”

“I say so. And, God, I guess I’ll have to take out more insurance on the bar in case I ever piss you off again.”

With his arm around her, they turned around and faced the rest of the bar, the bar that had suspended motion during the fireworks. Roger ignored their stunned staring and went about his business as usual. But he kept either his eyes or his hand on Julie the remainder of the evening. And she didn’t mind that at all.

* * *

As it turned out, Julie and Jody got along famously. Jody admired her for her “guts,” and Julie admired her grace and beauty. Julie told her she couldn’t wait to meet her cousin Vinnie whom Roger talked so much about.

They went over to Renaissance and got the primest of the prime tables. Excellent food, excellent service. When Jody pulled out her wallet to show Julie photos of her “girlfriend,” Roger winked at Julie across the table. She laughed. Sometimes he just coaxed those little laughs out of her.

A potentially world-shattering rotten evening had turned into a fabulous affair. After dinner, they drove Jody back to the airport where she had only another hour to kill. Julie hugged her and didn’t even cringe when Roger hugged her too. He was hers, and she knew it. She’d have to go to therapy for this insane jealousy.

Later, in the brass bed in the loft, she decided against therapy for the jealousy. Because it had turned Roger into a hungry animal. He seemingly couldn’t wait to sink his teeth into a woman who would get so riled up like that for him. A woman who would risk her public reputation just because he’d pissed her off.

He dove into her as soon as they could get inside and out of their clothes. She lay there and let him devour her, feeling every single nerve in her respond to his mouth and fingers. She closed her eyes against the white light that hit her when her orgasm ripped through her body. And when he let her, she licked and sucked him with all the passion she was feeling, enough to draw fluids out of him he didn’t know were still possible.

Then, later, he was lying with his head on her stomach and his arm across her thighs. She touched his sweaty back. And smiled. No sounds in the room except their breathing and the occasional car outside.

“I got so furious tonight when I thought someone was taking you from me,” she whispered.

“Nobody’s taking me from you. You’re stuck with me. Get used to it.” It tickled to feel his mouth moving against her stomach.

“I’m sorry I made a fool of myself at your place. Those people must think I’m a lunatic.”

“Fuck those people. And that new bitch is gone tomorrow. As soon as I get there.”

Julie didn’t really care about the waitress or her fate. “I love you, Roger. I really do.”

“Yeah. Me too.”

Julie ran her hand through his damp hair. “I feel so much better now. Here. With you.”

He sat up and turned over then. Facing her, with his arm over her abdomen. “Why don’t you just stay here all the time?”

“What?” She wasn’t sure she’d heard him correctly. Or understood him. Or something.

“Just move in! Why do you keep living in that fucking house?”

She was shocked. “Well………because………..you never officially asked me to live with you, I guess.”

He laughed. “Well, I’ll write it down for you if you want. I’d rather you live over here with me. Ready to make that step, baby?”

“I’m ready, Roger. You sure you are?”

He kissed her right breast, raising his eyes to look up at her face the whole time. “I told you even before you ever told Earl Ray about us that you could live here. What are ya waiting for?”

“Nothing now, I guess. I’ll……..I’ll pack tomorrow.”

“Hesitations?” He kissed her left breast.

“No. No hesitations. I just want YOU to be sure.”

“Look, baby. I want you with me all the time. I wouldn’t ask you if I didn’t mean it. So let’s make it ‘official,’ as you say. I’ll even help you.”

Julie felt tears come into her eyes. Again. “What did I ever do to earn something like you?”

“I’m telling ya – you’re STUCK with me. I’m no damn prize. You’ll regret it later.”

“Yeah. Well, we’ll see. Just give me plenty of time to find out.”