We have surpassed the European Union French site, and on 15 June 1999 (California time), we became more popular than Beanie Wonderland! Surely there is hope for this world when people have their priorities so clearly defined: we are more popular than Beanie Babies, who are, in turn, more popular than the European Union. We therefore confidently assert that our web site is �a work of recognized stature� under Title 17 of the United States Code. WOO HOO!

Why the two counters show different figures: the number of "Supplicants" represents the number of "hits" from a single computer to our entire web site, one "hit" per computer visit. The EuroSeek� Cool Site counter keeps track of the total number of "hits" on all of the pages and sub-pages on our site. Because our web pages are so inter-connected, each visitor to our site typically visits five or six pages on each visit; this enables us to keep track of the total amount of activity on our whole eleven megabyte web site, and shows us (and everyone else) the importance of maintaining multiple hyper-links.

Are you from Idaho, Indiana, Louisiana, New Mexico, North Dakota, West Virginia, or Wyoming (or anyplace else in the world for that matter)? Are you a fan of the great Leonardo's? Then click on the cute little face below!

OKAY, FANS, LISTEN UP: we are an UNofficial site for a lot of your favorite actors, but we don't get paid anything by any of them or any of their "people," nor do we get paid by any of the movie studios or television networks whose films and shows we promote. We run our website as a FREE public service for you, our visitors, and we hope to keep things that way. Unfortunately, that means that we cannot afford to buy a new scanner for transparencies (i.e., those stacks of wonderful COLOR pictures of your favorite stars which we have piled up here, gathering dust) or a new video card to grab frames of your fave from movies or television shows, or a new high-speed modem so that we can update our web site constantly, instead of every other week or so, etc., etc.

In order to buy all of that neat hardware so that we can upgrade our page, we have caved in and gone commercial. That's right, folks, after almost two-and-a-half years without ANY ads on our web page, we have placed a few selected advertisements here and there within the actual text of our pages. These, unlike those annoying "pop-up" advertisements, are selected by us because we think that they offer goods and services of interest to you. If you "click through" to the businesses which we advertise (and especially if you BUY something), THEY will pay us -- not much, but we hope that if enough of you click through (and hopefully shop online) we will earn enough to buy the equipment that we need in order to upgrade these pages, add more color pics, video and audio clips, etc. If you like our web site, please patronize the businesses which we advertise here so that we can improve our pages.

Remember, the ads which actually appear in the text of our pages are placed there by us, not by Geocities or anyone else, and we have selected which ads go where as part of our own twisted design aesthetics. Clicking through to those ads helps us to help keep you informed of your favorite performers and the movies, plays, and television shows in which they appear. Please patronize these advertisers. (Or else send us lots and lots of money so that we don't need to accept advertisements, can get rid of the ones we have and allow this page to load MUCH faster than it does.)

We recently recruited helpers from California to Qu�bec to Kensington to Queensland (or maybe it was New South Wales) and took out a substantial loan to make some major hardware upgrades for our real work and in part so that we could keep upgrading this site (you may have some noticed some pages being updated several times a day!).

What did we ask in return? That you sign nice notes in our Guestbook (and thank you to the 300+ people who have) and that you click through to the advertisers whom we feature here so that we could earn enough money for this site to pay for itself.

Having earned less than US $5.00 because so few of you "clicked through" to our advertisers (and only one of you actually BOUGHT anything, we note), now that we have hit the Yahoo/Geocities 11 Megabyte wall, we have been faced with a decision: dig deeper into our pockets and lease more web space from Yahoo/Geocities, or add just enough files to take us to the 11 Megabyte limit and then stop updating this page.

(We COULD, of course, move everything lock, stock, and barrel to Fortune City and gain an extra nine megabytes of disk space, but our attitude is: if you don't care, why should we? We could also move some of our larger files to other servers, but that would make our page load even more slowly than it already does, and we have no intention of contributing to "the heat death of the universe.")

This is The Jaundiced Eye PRODUCTIONS Home Page -- we actually use our computers and video equipment and cameras to MAKE things, believe it or not -- and while this place has been "a hoot and a holler" to run, if you visitors don't care enough about it to let it even pay for its own upkeep, why should we divert our valuable time and resources from PAYING work to keep upgrading this site?

SO, The Muse With the Jaundiced Eye HERSELF has decreed that while His Nibs, The Grand Panjandrum, can finish filling up the 11 Megabytes of web space we have (probably for The Thirteenth Floor review, a final update to our "That '70s Show" page, Lion's Gate's Christian Bale flick, Metroland, and possibly something on Touchstone's upcoming The Thirteenth Warrior (which is only natural, since it is based upon Beowulf, and The Grand Panjandrum likes alliteration, with which Beowulf is fantastically and fulsomely filled), there will be no additional updates after the 11 Megabytes of server space is filled up. Decreasing the sizes of some of our larger photographs (which has already begun on Ben and Casey Affleck's fan page here, will gain us a little more space, and we may do some occasional updates after that, but, by and large people:

So that our loyal visitors are not left totally high and dry, we have added links below to several other pages on the web which also devote themselves to (pictures, at least) of young actors, and one or two have mirror sites for young actresses as well, for you fans of Jennifer Tilly, Reese Witherspoon, etc.

(Memorial Day note from the Grand Pandrum: The following paragraph was one of the very first on our page, but it has languished in obscurity for well over a year because the "other" people" link which was its raison d'etre became broken when the organization to which it linked changed its URL. We never got rid of the paragraph, though, and after a long time, we have updated it by adding the names of five of "these people who are here." We think that the addition of these five names only drives home the point of the following paragraph: WE are watching the stars for you, so you can watch out for "the other people.")

The people who are named below are linked to this page because we like them, or because they've done us some favor, or because we abuse them so wretchedly in the real world that we feel obliged to make their cybernetic existences more pleasant.��� Since we LIKE to see these people working (and we'd like it even more if we could figure out a way to squeeze a percentage out of their gross incomes!), we would like our fans to visit sites featuring those of whom we are fans.��� As time goes by (Jesus Marryin' Joseph!� What an idea for a song title!!!) we will add lesser known performers in whom we have faith.� We have been following the career of Ethan Embry for many years now, and are happy to share the growth of his career with you, even though we had nothing to do with it. We have also followed the careers of Ben Affleck, Ryan Phillippe, Danny Masterson, Christopher Masterson, Tobey Maguire, and other major stars of today who were virtually unknown when we started this page in 1996.� Keep watching this page for new names and faces.� Don't bother watching the stars -- we'll do that for you.� Trust us.

OKAY, YOU PEOPLE!� We know many of you are coming here to ogle

For our 1997 "quick opinions," please click here for our Film Opinions page.

• 54.�Our reviewer asks: "54, Where Are You?
  
  
• 13th FLOOR: see our opinions at "THE THIRTEENTH FLOOR"below. This is a MUST SEE MOVIE!
  
  
• ARMAGEDDON:� Our revier says, "Argh!� My God!"
  
  
• BRIDE OF CHUCKY:� A surprisingly good picture!� Jennifer Tilly is wonderful, and those of you who stopped watching NBC's soap "Sunset Beach" after Ben's evil twin killed off Nick Stabile's character (you may recall him as the one who could actually act) will be dee-lighted to see him in this.� It's a winner, but NOT for children.� W8: Worth $8.00.
  
  
• Dancing About Architecture:� Starring Ryan Phillippe.� It's name has been changed.� Scheduled for December release.� More info as it comes in. . . .
  
  
  Something's fishy in The Faculty �1999 by Dimension Films
  
• THE FACULTY: A good, solid, suspenseful sci-fi thriller.� Click on its title to read the review for details.
  
  
• GO: GO SEE GO! W8: Worth $8.
  
  
• GODS AND MONSTERS:� Our reviewer says that it will score Oscar� nominations for Best Picture, Best Director, Best Adapted Screenplay, for Ian McKellan as Best Actor, and a probable WIN for Lynn Redgrave as Best Supporting Actress. (Actually, she lost to Dame Judi Dench.)
  
  
  Billy Bob Thornton and Jon Bon Jovi in Homegrown. �1998 by Columbia Tri-star Home Video.
  
• HOMEGROWN:� On video and DVD, starring Billy Bob Thornton, Hank "Apu" Azaria, and Ryan Phillippe, with John "Third Rock" Lithgow, Jon" That Actor/Singer Guy" Bon Jovi, and Jamie Lee "Halloween" Curtis. Our revier calls it a wonderfully funny film filled with great family values and a demonstration of how one community can pull together in a crisis.� Recommended for everyone!!!
  
  
  
• I STILL KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER: Actually, none of us gave a damn about what any of these people did two-and-a-half years ago in this piece of drek.� Our On-Line Reviewer is planning to lambaste this turkey in a full review very soon, but in the meantime he is trying to think of some creative commentary, having already determined that it is actually worse than Phantoms, for which he created his absolutely lowest rating ever; in fact, he sez that he can think of only two movies he's ever seen that were worse than this thing:� EEEGAH! and Teenage Caveman.� Mind you, our intrepid reviewer has seen such dreadful films as Plan Nine From Outer Space, Attack of the Eye Creatures, and Batman and Robin.� The Gorton's Fisherman should sue the hell out of these people for defaming his image and likeness.
  
  Jimmy (Ryan Phillippe) makes a shocking discovery in Little Boy Blue. �1997 by Jazz Pictures, Inc.� Available on Warner Home Video.
  
• LITTLE BOY BLUE: On video.� Starring Ryan Phillippe, John Savage and Natassja Kinski.� A creepy thriller in which Ryan plays an abused teenager who is forced to stay at home out of fear of his vicious father.� Very, very, very intense movie -- we talked about it for days after seeing it. Sex, violence, murder, kidnapping, child abuse, sexual abuse, substance abuse,� wife abuse, . . . . Not for everyone, but recommended for those who can handle adult subjects like this; it's a film for people who like to think about what they see and discuss it afterwards. Our On-Line Reviewer will be doing a complete review of this film soon.� His viewing advice:� see it, wait a week, then see it again.
  
  
• LITTLE VOICE: This is the international hit in which Jane Horrocks plays "LV" -- "Little Voice" -- a shy young woman who only speaks in a whisper -- until she sings, and then she SINGS.� The movie co-stars Ewan McGregor, a spectacular Brenda Blethyn, and Michael Caine, who won a Golden Globe� Award for playing the slimy agent, Ray Say, who hopes to make a fortune by exploiting LV. It saddened our On-Line Reviewer to no end that Caine was not nominated for the Best Actor Oscar� and that Lynn Redgrave did not win the Best Supporting Actress Oscar�, because, he confesses, when he was a boy he was absolutely convinced that "Alfie" and Georgy Girl" knew each other. Our highest rating:� W8: Worth $8.
  
  
• LOVE AND DEATH ON LONG ISLAND:� A delight.� See our full review by clicking here.� We hope to be able to add some pictures from it soon.� (10 February 1999:� Our reviewer is righteously indignant that John Hurt's performance was not nominated for Best Actor Golden Globe� or an Oscar�.� Hurt turned in one of the best performances of the year)
  
  
• THE MUMMY: Our On-Line Reviewer has told you repeatedly: when a studio REFUSES to send a press kit to a film reviewer, it is because the studio knows there is something fundamentally wrong with the movie and they don't want critics warning the audience. The tactic certainly worked for Universal Pictures: they sucked up over US$70,000,000 before word-of-mouth got around: this is an unimaginative, second-rate "Indiana Jones" rip-off which isn't even a horror movie! If you want to see a good adventure film, rent The Rugrats Movie and save the twenty dollars or so you'll waste on popcorn at the theater seeing The mummy. We'll give you just two examples of how un-original the over-priced special effects in this dreck-fest are: both the light rays bouncing off of the mirrors and the sand zipping around before the mummy's face formed were ripped off from . . . believe it or not . . . the "Young Hercules" television series! We kid thee not, the week after The Mummy opened, the syndicators aired two episodes of "Young Hercules" which had the very same effects for which millions of Americans shelled out as much as ten dollars apiece (plus sodas, popcorn, etc.) to see; the "sand shark" action was such a rip-off that even the direction of motion and the sharp turn were the same! As for ripping off "Indy," what the heck is the significant difference between, "Bugs. Ugh. I hate 'em!" and "Snakes. Ugh. I hate 'em!"? We rate this unimaginative, non-scary, shoddy rip-off as NW5: NOT WORTH $5. If you can see it on a double feature or rent it on tape, you might be getting your money's worth, but -- we repeat -- do not expect a horror movie.
  
  
• PHANTOMS. Available on video.� Our Reviewer had to invent a new, extra, EXTRA low rating for this piece of slime about . . . a piece of slime.
  
  
  Reese Witherspoon and Paul Walker in Pleasantville. Photo: Ralph Nelson.� (c)1998 by New Line Cinema, Inc.� All rights reserved.
  
• PLEASANTVILLE:� As of 10 November 1998, it was Number Two in U.S. box office receipts.� With good reason, says our reviewer, who calls it a classic of the computer age.
  
  
• THE RUGRATS MOVIE:� It's a Klasky-Csupo movie about The Rugrats.� What more do you need to know?� If you like The Rugrats, it's already on your "must see" list, so go see it already.� If you don't know who they are, sit real close to a really big screen (like Pacific's Cinerama Dome in Hollywood) to get a Rugrat's-eye-view of the world.� As Tommy Pickles sez:� "A baby's gotta do what a baby's gotta do."
  
  
• SHE'S ALL THAT: It's fabulous.� Read the review.� She's All That earns our highest rating: W8 Worth $8.
  
  
  
  
  Joseph Fiennes in Shakespeare in Love. �1998 by Miramax Pictures.
  
  Gwyneth Paltrow and Joseph Fiennes in Shakespeare in Love. Photo:Laurie Sparham.� �1998 by Miramax Films.
  
  
• SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE:� A winner!� It has opened to packed houses in Los Angeles and New York, and will be opening soon in other cities. It won a Golden Globe� Award for its screenplay, and, as predicted by our On-Line Reviewer, Oscars� for screenwriters Mark Norman and Tom Stoppard (the latter of whom wrote Arcadia, reviewed elsewhere on our site). W8: Worth $8.00.
  
  
  
  Simon Birch. Photo by Alan Markield.� (c)Hollywood Pictures, Inc.� All rights reserved.
  
  
• SIMON BIRCH:� Click on the name for a full review of this film "inspired" by A Prayer for Owen Meany.
  
  
• SMALL SOLDIERS:� What a foolish decision to market this as a children's movie!� It's great ADULT entertainment, and totally unsuitable for young children or impressionable (read: "stoo-pid") teens.� The "Gwendy" dolls (voiced by Sarah Michelle "Buffy" Gellar and Christina "Wednesday Addams" Ricci) are enough to scare the poopy out of even die-hard horror movie fans.� Terrific cast includes the late Phil Hartman.� Theatrically we give it our highest rating:� W8: Worth $8.00.� AND, we also note that since we posted this message, the video has been marketed as starring Phil Hartman.� Did anyone from the studio call us to thank us for helping them sell more videos?� Nooo . . . .
  
  
• SPEEDWAY JUNKY: See our On-Line review of this up-and-coming film, which stars Jesse Bradford, Jordan Bradford, Jonathan "JTT" Taylor Thomas, Daryl Hannah, Tiffani-Amber Thiessen and others. Highly recommended!
  �
  
• SUICIDE KINGS: A seven star movie.� Out on video, but we give it our highest movie rating: W8 -- WORTH $8.00!� Here's a picture of the . . . uh . . . "bad guys" for you to look at:
  Photo: Scott Del Amo. (c) 1998 by Live Entertainment (now "Artisan"). Left to right:� Henry Thomas, Jay Mohr, Johnny Galecki, Sean Patrick Flannery, Jeremy Sisto.
  
  

• THE THIRTEENTH FLOOR

  : Never mind Star Wars: The Phantom Mis-Fire, never mind The Matrix, The Thirteenth Floor is the science fiction movie to see in 1999! (We didn't use those big letters for its title for no reason!) If you think that this is going to be another big budget, special-effects laden, ho-hum cops-and-sci-fi-guys piece of kay-wrap (like Batman and Robin, guess again. This is a taut, suspenseful thriller, more film noir than science fiction (think what Phillip K. Dick's The Man in the High Castle might look like if it had been given the Bladerunner treatment). Instead of pisssing away money of computer cartoons of robots and such, the producers of The Thirteenth Floor used simple, inexpensive special effects and spent their money where it really counts: they hired a good writer, a good director, excellent actors, production and costume designers, model makers, set dressers, a composer, and other people to make this a movie worth seeing and hearing. Special effects and computer graphics are superbly integrated into The Thirteenth Floor, and are strictly subordinated to and supportive of the story, the acting, the direction, and the production design. Since this film has grossed less than ten million dollars in its first three weeks, we dare say that Columbia Pictures made a big mistake in its marketing of this movie. (An aside to all studios: HOW MANY TIMES MUST WE TELL YOU STUDIO EXECUTIVES TO GET RID OF THOSE DAMNED TEST AUDIENCES YOU USE AND TRUST THE INSTICTS OF THE ARTISTS YOU HIRE TO MAKE YOUR MOVIES?!?! JOE SCHMUCK IN THE TEST AUDIENCE DOESN'T HAVE HIS CAREER RIDING ON YOUR FILMS, YOUR FILM-MAKERS DO -- TRUST THEM!!!)

  We are so supportive of The Thirteenth Floor (see, we are even giving it a second paragraph for our "Quick Opinion," which we don't recall ever having done before) that not only are we giving it our highest rating: W8: WORTH $8.00, but we are taking the completely unprecedented step of urging you to click on its big title, go to our On-Line Review of it and print out the form that you'll find there. Take this form to the theater where you go to see The Thirteenth Floor (one form for each ticket purchaser, please!) and personally give them to the theater manager. If YOU are as sick to death as we are of paying higher and higher ticket prices at theaters so that they can get more and more crappy Hollywood pictures whose studios think that loud "booms" and bright shiny lights on the screen are enough to make you shell out $7, $8, $9, and in some places $10 or more for a film (PLUS candy, popcorn, and sodas!), PLEASE print out that form, get together with a bunch of your friends, take the forms (one for each of you) to a movie theater, buy your tickets for The Thirteenth Floor, and GIVE THE FORM DIRECTLY TO THE THEATER MANAGER. Almost six hundred people visit this page regularly now, and we are the 11th Most Popular Class 1 EuroSeek site in the world, and trust us -- there are more than a few people in Hollywood who know this. If even a few thousand of these forms get printed out and turned in -- TRUST US! -- a lot of Hollywood studios will stop pissing away money hiring computer techs and go back to hiring writers, actors, directors, set dressers, costume designers, etc. and maybe -- just maybe -- they will get the message that people are tired of paying big bucks to see crappy movies and pass the savings back down to us.

  
  
• VELVET GOLDMINE: A hot little number about the Glam Rock era in Britain and the USA.� It stars Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, Ewan McGregor, Toni Collette, Eddie Izzard, and Christian Bale.� Some people have concentrated so heavily on the sexual element that they have overlooked the film's other virtues.� Our reviewer sez that if Costume Designer Sandy Powell doesn't snag an Oscar� nomination for Shakespeare in Love, starring Ben Affleck, she'll get one for this.� A beautiful movie with a beautiful cast in gorgeous clothes! (Note from the Grand Panjandrum: our On-Line Reviewer can sure call 'em! Ms. Powell was nominated for both movies and won for Shakespeare in Love.)

Jonathan Rhys-Meyers in the Todd Haynes film Velvet Goldmine. Photo:� Peter Mountain.� �1998 by Miramax Films.

One of the spectacular special effects from Wing Commander>

WING COMMANDER: Do Not be mis-led by prominent television film critis who either didn't see this film or were obviously not paying attention to it. Not only is this a decent movie, but we actually hope there's a sequel (and when was the last time you heard us say anything like that?!). Our rating: W5: Worth $5.00.

THE MUSE WITH THE JAUNDICED EYE SAYS:

FOR TICKETS TO CONCERTS, SPORTING EVENTS, PLAYS, ETC., ORDER HERE:

On 16 July 1997: someone finally put in a request for Wild America info; we contacted Warner Brothers and received . . . nothing.� In the meantime, thanks to our correspondents at Y.M.S., we can help you find some info on Devon Sawa, Scott Bairstow, and J.T.T.

13 August 1997: what you see here is all we could get.

Okay, so it's Devon in "Lonesome Dove."� At least we tried! (Besides, you can see him in his boxers in Idle Hands, anyway.)





Pinch "Pink" for a link to Dazed and Confused links. Dazed and Confused.� You know:� Jason London, Wiley Wiggins, Ben Affleck, Cole Hauser, Marissa Ribisi, Rene Zelwegger, Matthew McCona-who . . . that film.

Boycott Wendy's.

Thanks to Columbia Tristar (the same people who wouldn't send us a press kit for I Know What You Did Last Summer), we are now uploading pictures from Starship Troopers! (We still have several to upload as of 16 April 1998, btw -- we said we had been busy!)� See Film Opinions for a link to a quickie review.

(c) 1997 by TriStar Pictures.� All rights reserved.

CLICK HERE FOR LINKS TO PIX OF YOUNG STARS!

CLICK HERE TO LEARN HOW TO AFFECT MILLIONS OF AMERICANS!� REALLY, REALLY OLD LISTINGS!



Click on this picture for a link to Corbin Allred's page. (c) by I.B.M.

24 AUGUST 1998 News (with some useful links):

Christopher Masterson in Matthew Modine's Ecce Pirate. (c)1997 (?) by Matthew Modine.

1.Now that we have your attention, we have A LOT of new info and pix on Chris Masterson, his brother Danny Masterson, Ryan Phillippe and upcoming movies and TeeVee shows.

2.We have several (okay, A LOT) of new reviews to be posted this week and next.� At the moment we strongly recommend How Stella Got Her Groove Back and (no, we're not kidding!) The Parent Trap.

3.ABOUT THAT "GAY" THING:� readers of our Danny Masterson page may recall that in an interview with Movieline, Danny said that the oddest rumor he'd heard about himself was that he was Gay.� This was news to us:� we certainly hadn't heard that rumor, and we try to get all the dirt we can on everyone we can.� Chad Allen (by his real name) we had heard about, and Ellen DeGeneres and Anne Heche we've spoken to, but Danny Masterson?!� Great brother-in-law material according to rumor, but boy-boyfriend . . . ?

Then we happened to run his brother's name on a new search engine on which we were listed and - POP! - up we came on a list of sites for young Gay people.� We have no problems at all with that, BUT, there was an error in our site description listing which may have led some people to think that most or all of the people we write about are Gay or Lesbian.� Sorry to break some hearts (and happy to set others a-flutter), but it ain't necessarily so.� Click here for more info.

4.COPYRIGHT NOTICES:� We take them very seriously.� We are professionals.� We try very hard to list other people's copyright notices properly, and expect the same courtesy.� SOMEONE in Hollywood didn't take our notices seriously and is now facing a possible lawsuit and/or criminal charges. We offer this page as a free service to our readers, not as a buffet for free-loaders.

August 20 catch-up news:

1.Chris Masterson was backstage last year at a preview of the play Arcadia in which he played Gus and Augustus Coverly.� For a bit of CURRENT news on him, see item 12 below.

2.Our site is becoming important!� When CBS's "Touched By An Angel" replayed Chris Masterson's highly-rated episode, NBC counter-programmed with his brother Danny's Beethoven's Second.� If you check their pages here, you'll see that WE were the ones who discovered what Nielsen ratings grabbers the Masterson brothers are.� CBS and NBC are listening to us, so should you.� (BTW, that is Danny in Fox's year-delayed "That 70's Show."� As of August 24, WE HAVE PICTURES!)

3.We would LOVE to have more info on Giovanni Ribissi, but two requests from his manager for info have elicited nothing, so much as we would like to feature the star of subUrbia (of whom we have been a fan since "My Two Dads"), we can't because we can't get anything on him.� If any of his "people" are reading this, please check item (2) above and SEND US SOMETHING.

4.We'd love to give you more Tobey Maguire, too, but HIS people won't send us anything, either.� (He, of course, has an excuse: we report on Don's Plum, over which he is being sued.

5.Ethan Embry has a new publicist, so we'll try to get some new stuff on him as it becomes available.

6.Sorry, but we haven't been in touch with Henry Thomas for months -- check the link to his (now official) web site below.

7.We hang with one of the people who did MTV's "LeoMania," so we shall try to get some exclusive insights on him and it for you.

8.Word is that Tate Donovan's upcoming show "Trinity" is a likely hit.� Ha!� We knew he'd be a star twelve years ago. He has, however, had to leave the band in which he sang, played guitar, violin, mandolin, and a few other instruments for the last few years. (Jaundiced trivia question:� what popular teen star, friend of Matt Damon and Ben Affleck and their buddies, co-starred as a little boy opposite Tate Donovan and Leah Thompson? -- Answer will be posted next week.)

8.Apropos of Tate's band, we saw Mackenzie Astin at their recent show on the Santa Monica Pier, and we're almost ready to swear Christian Bale was there, too.

9.Apropos of Christian, his Newsies choreographer Kenny Ortega choreographed "Chicago Hope's" episode "Brain Salad Surgery," which is up for Emmy Awards.

10.We apologize for saying that outside of Atlanta the state of Georgia is 80 years behind the times.� It's more like twenty or thirty years behind the rest of America (but at least the Georgians are in this century, which is more than we can say for a majority of Coloradicals!).

11.After stiffing us for almost a year, Dimension Films has sent us their Fall preview kit, so we'll be posting info on Velvet Goldmine, starring Ewan McGregor and Christian Bale, Dancing About Architecture, which stars Ryan ("Shane 54") Phillippe, and The Faculty which stars just about everybody else.

12. Cutthroat Island News!� No, we are not kidding.� Artisan Entertainment (who recently gave us Suicide Kings) has acquired DVD and video rights to Cutthroat Island and will be releasing a LETTERBOXED version of it, which means that Chris Masterson fans (and anybody who would like to see anyone else to the left or right of the director's wife!) can FINALLY see the movie as it was originally filmed.� We coined the phrase "scanned and panned" to describe our review of MGM's NON-letterbox version, so we are delighted to learn of this development.� If you would like us to review the new, improved, ORIGINAL version of the film, please e-mail us at [email protected] and please specifically request that we review the letterboxed version.

13.We'd also love to post more info on Lukas Haas, but -- again -- we can't reach him through his "people" (in his case, PMK).� We've been trying to find out for years, for instance what it felt like for him to film johns in West Hollywood, which is his hometown, but . . . we just don't know!

14.For fans of early 60's teen idols, be advised that The Disney Channel is now airing "The Hardy Boys," starring Tim "Spin" Considine and Tommy "Travis Coates" Kirk.� It sends chills up one's spine, doesn't it?

15.Finally, as near as we have been able to determine, Esteban Louis Powell is NOT in the erotic "Young Americans" video as we had been previously mis-informed.� He can still be seen, however in the Lesbian love flick, Late Bloomers, which has received rave reviews and is now available in limited release on video.� (As for Ben Affleck's take on Lesbianism, please remember that he killed his Lesbian wife to get a three-picture deal with Disney.� If you have no clue what that means, you are not qualified to call yourself a Ben Affleck fan.)

Esteban Powell Having long been fans of the INCREDIBLY elusive Mr. Powell, we have created An Esteban Louis Powell Page!� Sometimes we get information about him. . . .

Owen Browning Graham in Smoochers

SMOOCHERS News!!!

Find out what the fuss was about.

Where's Cutthroat Island?

WHAT A VERY GOOD QUESTION!� Even though we have Christopher Masterson's photo as "Mr. Bowen" from Cutthroat Island we don't have much other information on that movie, because, the people at M.G.M. were EXTREMELY UNCOOPERATIVE about supplying us with a press kit, even though we were assured on several occasions that one would be sent to us immediately.

Click here to find out more about our low opinion of M.G.M., and our high opinion of many of its competitors.

PLEASE DON'T ROAR AT US

We had nothing at all to do with Roar.� In fact, Sean Cassidy wouldn't return our calls before it first aired, when we were offering him free consultations on its historicity.

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The only good censor is a DEAD censor.� We urge all censors to be good. Q.E.D.

� 1997, 1998 and 1999 by Jaundiced Eye Productions: [email protected]
For a detailed clarification of our copyrights under Title 17 of the United States Code and under the Berne Convention and all national laws giving effect thereto, please click here for an important Legal Notice.

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