Songs of the Daghda

To the Daghda`s songbook!

VIRTUAL KISSES Oh I'm gonna go and click on the web now, gonna go where I can take a chance. I'll say hi to the guys, and hey to the gals, and click on past DO YOU WANNA DANCE? Cause I'd like to be a VB lover; and I'd love to find a VB romance. I'm just lookin' for a gal who ain't lost all her heart to the Man in the leather pants. CHORUS Virtual kisses ain't gonna do it and there ain't no warmth in virtual hugs. I been typin’ hese pore two fingers off just emailin’ 'til they're barely nubs. But I ain't gonna give up searchin' cause I know somewhere there's gotta be. Some sweet little lonely ol Flathead gal who's been lurkin’ an’ a-lookin' for me. I thought I found her one time, a gal named Flathead in MO. Her hair was dark, her eyes were bright, and her nametag said "Mary Jo" We took our seats in the balcony, and the Little Spirit started the show. And the last I seen of my would be love she was divin’ down ta snag the front row. CHORUS Virtual kisses ain't gonna do it and there ain't no warmth in virtual hugs. I been typin' these pore two fingers off just emailing 'til they're barely nubs. But I ain't gonna give up searchin' cause I know somewhere there's gotta be. Some sweet little lonely ol Flathead gal who's been lurkin’ an’ a-lookin' for me. posted 17th November '97

FLATLEY BLUES

Well, I logged on to the Internet (ba-DUM!),
To see just what there was to see (ba-DUM, ba-DUM, ba-DUM - Oh man, ya know I hear ya talkin'!)

(DUM-DUM, DUM-DUM, DUM-DUM!) (DUM-DUM, DUM-DUM, DUM-DUM!)

I said that I logged on to the Internet (ba-DUM!),
to see just what there was to see (ba-DUM, ba-DUM, ba-DUM - Oh man, I been there where you been!)

(DUM-DUM, DUM-DUM, DUM-DUM!) (DUM-DUM, DUM-DUM, DUM-DUM!)

And I found my Flathead Baby (ba-DUM), had changed my homepage to LOTD (ba-DUM, ba-DUM, ba-DUM - Oh, there ain't no hope for you now, man!)

(DUM-DUM, DUM-DUM, DUM-DUM!) (DUM-DUM, DUM-DUM, DUM-DUM!)

Instead of my own webpage (ba-DUM!), it asked me did I wanna dance? (ba-DUM, ba-DUM, ba-DUM - Oh man, and did ya have to click there too?)

(DUM-DUM, DUM-DUM, DUM-DUM!) (DUM-DUM, DUM-DUM, DUM-DUM!)

I saw that ‘stead of my own webpage (ba-DUM!), it asked me did I wanna dance? (ba-DUM, ba-DUM, ba-DUM - and did ya see the photo icon shakin’, man?)

(DUM-DUM, DUM-DUM, DUM-DUM!) (DUM-DUM, DUM-DUM, DUM-DUM!)

I think I’ve lost my Baby (ba-DUM!), to that sweaty dude in the leather pants! (ba-DUM, ba-DUM, ba-DUM - when Michael Flatley wins ‘em, they never the same, man!)

(DUM-DUM, DUM-DUM, DUM-DUM!) (DUM-DUM, DUM-DUM, DUM-DUM!)

I got those Michael Flatley blues, cause (ba-DUM!), I just can’t beat that man. (ba-DUM, ba-DUM, ba-DUM - hey brother, you just have joined a BIG club!)

(DUM-DUM, DUM-DUM, DUM-DUM!) (DUM-DUM, DUM-DUM, DUM-DUM!)

you know I got those ol’ Michael Flatley blues, cause (ba-DUM!), I just can’t compete with that man. (ba-DUM, ba-DUM, ba-DUM - hey brother, you gotta take a number just to get inside the room!)

(DUM-DUM, DUM-DUM, DUM-DUM!) (DUM-DUM, DUM-DUM, DUM-DUM!)

She just wants her Michael Moments (ba-DUM!), and wants it any way she can. (ba-DUM, ba-DUM, ba-DUM - and there’s nothin you can do, cause you are toast made with Irish soda bread!)

posted 19 November '97

THE DAGHDA SINGS A SAGHDA VERSE Did you know that our own Blue Hawaii once was part of the state we call CA [rhymes with Ah!] Yes the Wai/-kiki sands/ that we surf from used to be/ beach fronts north/ of Ba-ja And the Head/ that the na/ -tives call Diamond once loomed high/ over Cu/-chamonga DAGHDA started to bawl/ his off-key/ caterwaul and the tectonic plates went Là-Bàs CHORUS Oh, you don’t /wanna get/ DAGHDA singin’ ‘cause it spins/ up the storms/ out at sea And his ser/ -enade song/ to his true love drives the Rich/ -ter scale past/ ten point three And some say/ that it brings/ power outages breaking wires/ ‘cause he sings/ so off-key I’m here to shout/ that you’d better look out/ when he sings of his Erin O’ Sidhe VERSE Yes that line / of old vol/ -canic islands strung across/ the Pacific/ so blue I mean Molokai,/ Hawaii,/ and Maui, and Hilo, and/ Oahu too They should be The San Francisco volcano made from lava/ oozing like fiery glue But they’re broken off tops/ from one volcano’s slops/ when DAGHDA roared of Brian Boru. CHORUS Oh, you don’t /wanna get/ DAGHDA singin’ ‘cause it spins/ up the storms/ out at sea And his ser/ -enade song/ to his true love drives the Rich/ -ter scale past/ ten point three And some say/ that it brings/ power outages breaking wires/ ‘cause he sings/ so off-key I’m here to shout/ that you’d better look out/ when he sings of his Erin O’ Sidhe VERSE So if you’re/ goin’ out/ to the Left Coast better bring/ out a gag/ just in case "Cause the sun/ and the sand/ and the ocean make the DAGHDA/ start singin’/ deep Bass Now the fault/ lines are stressed/ to their limits and we don’t/ want to strain/ them in place And if Ol’ DAGHDA breaks out/ the fault lines will shake out/ and Fresno will sink/ ‘thout a trace CHORUS Oh, you don’t /wanna get/ DAGHDA singin’ ‘cause it spins/ up the storms/ out at sea And his ser/ -enade song/ to his true love drives the Rich/ -ter scale past/ ten point three And some say/ that it brings/ power outages breaking wires/ ‘cause he sings/ so off-key I’m here to shout/ that you’d better look out/ when he sings of his Erin O’ Sidhe END

DAGHDA Jim would like to thank DIANE, who gave me the idea, and PAULA, who sneered about DAGHDA’s singing in the first place. I also offer thanks to a possibly bewildered ERIN, who is an innocent bystander, but who afforded me both DAGHDA’s mythic sweetheart and a useful rhyme.
posted 11/24/97

DA VAMPIRE FLAMES AGAIN!

VERSE

Oh, give me a flame
nothing easy or tame
so that I can get spun up all day
Mike’s defenders will scream
want to rip out your spleen
and the VB will boil from foul play.

CHORUS

Flame, flame in your post,
be you lurker, or newbie or ghost
and all day will be heard,
in a furious word, VB’s enrag-ed, outrag-ed host

VERSE

Mister NORMAL’s request
to account for our quest
and a sneer over why we love Michael
Our obsessed ways are bleak,
for a LIFE we should seek,
and forget Michael and his hot ‘cycle

CHORUS

Flame, flame in your post,
be you lurker, or newbie or ghost
and all day will be heard,
in a furious word, VB’s enrag-ed, outrag-ed host

VERSE

If the flamer’s bold addy
shows he’s Jim DAGHDA Daddy
he’ll be majorly sealing his doom
Our revenge will be swift
like a horrible gift
for we’ll chain him inside a chat room.

CHORUS

Flame, flame in your post,
be you lurker, or newbie or ghost
and all day will be heard,
in a furious word, VB’s enrag-ed, outrag-ed host

VERSE

He’ll be verbally flayed
flogged and hassled and splayed
Once the VB colleens all start in
DAGHDA’s goose will be cooked
he will not get uhooked
cause a man in a chat just can’t win

CHORUS

Flame, flame in your post,
be you lurker, or newbie or ghost
and all day will be heard,
in a furious word, VB’s enrag-ed, outrag-ed host

The End

Nelson Reilly's B(l)and(e)

(This time it is McNamara's Band, an old jazz classic, that it sounds familiarly like!)

Oh, me name is Nelson Reilly, I’m the leader of the band
Of midget minded lurkers who just hate your Flatleyland
I specialize in insult ‘cause I want to make you bawl
and since you all have fun on here, I just can’t stand you all

CHORUS

Oh I pick on Mam, and kids I slam, and Tweetie gets the bird
I say you all should get a life, the stupid stuff I’ve heard
And if I ever write you up, my grade will be so grand
I’ll never give my addy to you folks from Flatleyland

Right now I’m making fun of your Michael Flatley’s woes
A sniffle here, a fever there and sure he stubs his toes
I can’t believe this hogwash of sending healing prayer
When I can show that burning candles just makes more hot air

CHORUS

Oh I pick on Mam, and kids I slam, and Tweetie gets the bird
I say you all should get a life, the stupid stuff I’ve heard
And if I ever write you up, my grade will be so grand
I’ll never give my addy to you folks from Flatleyland

Oh me name is Nelson Reilly and I’ve trashed my very name
My grade is Z, my grade point’s down and I’ve no one to blame
My professor read my paper through and smacked me on the chest
Sez he, ‘tis clear from what you wrote, that you’re the one obsessed

CHORUS

Oh I pick on Mam, and kids I slam, and Tweetie gets the bird
I say you all should get a life, the stupid stuff I’ve heard
And if I ever write you up, my grade will be so grand
I’ll never give my addy to you folks from Flatleyland

Posted 2nd December '97

If you would like to compliment the Daghda for his compositions then please feel free!

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