Scenes from
BRUISED
( excerpt 5 )
WARNING: SOME LANGUAGE AND CONTENT MAY OFFEND!!
Friday / 11.28pm/ I turn away from the crowd / and
push through the toilet door/ nestling myself in the safety of
a cubicle / what the hell is going on / this can't be just the
drugs / who are these people / they're loonies / this can't be
just the drugs / my mother told me / " never trust the irish
/ they're too spontaneous / unpredictable / the type of people
who are encouraged by revolutionary slogans" / this can't
be just the drugs / didn't I just say that / what's going on/
these people are loonies / my mother was right / it's because
they're bloody irish / irish bloody loonies / may be they're all
on drugs / but why / what am I doing here / maybe it is just the
drugs / that's it / I'm just too stoned / it's the drugs / nothing
to do with the irish at all / I'm sorry ma / but I think you're
wrong about this one / it's just the drugs /
I grab a piece of toilet tissue and give the seat a
wipe / extra shine / extra warmth / a small concession to comfort
/ to help the buttock muscles relax their grip on life's refuse
/ drop my pants and settle in for what could a long haul / (pause
) darker passions laying in wait / in the uncertain sanitation
/ mmmgghh thankless children / whose woe begotten voices clamour
at the door knobs of heaven/ mmmgghh they struggle against sense
/ like a salmon fights its way up stream to spawn / brooding with
uncertain sanity / mmmgghh in the heat of something irish/ ajig
-a jig - ajig ajig jig / mmmgghh / clamouring at the parentless
gate of reason / clenched fists / strike at the red air as the
crowd storms towards the citadel /
mmmgghh mmmgghh mmmgghh / ahhhhhhhhh a job well done
/
someone has just entered the cubicle next to me / the
rustle of clothes / the distinctive clatter of pee hitting the
side of the bowl / hehehehe hehehehe / god i'm so poetic at times
/ I must be irish / a satisfied sigh / smooths the fetid air /
alas we are brothers in anonymity / locked a world of closeted
sounds and disembodied smells / that really is quite poetic -
deep in the truest sense of the word / I really must be irish
/ better not tell mum /( he laughs a lot at this thought and then
stops abruptly / )
the pathos of my situation stopped me short / lingering
at the edge of an unseen presence next to me / crushed by an all
too tangible barrier that keeps us apart / locked in isolation
/ by the violence of civilisation and rough cast concrete separating
us / my cheek rests against the side of the cubicle / I close
my eyes / and imagine the shape of the man next to me / neck /
head / eyes / nose / mouth / bruised into submission by the propriety
of manners that keeps us apart / a tear runs a solitary track
down my face / it falls from the edge of my face / lingering before
it dissolves in to the urine soaked floor / I'm tired / so tired
/ the sound of my own breathing / gives way to that of my neighbour
/ I'm tired / tired of reaching out into the darkness / for a
good time ring paula / i'll ring paula / she was fun / well actually
she wasn't much fun / but you never know she might have changed
/ unlikely / but you never know / she might be on new medication
/ I'm tired / so tired / I feel myself slipping further down the
wall as my thoughts descend into the pitiful dribble of regret
/ I'm tired / I'm so tired / what am I waiting for / who am I
waiting for / I'm so tired / so tired
�
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