[Scene: Pit of Despair.]

[WESTLEY is strapped to a table, unconscious. An ALBINO enters carrying a tray with food and drink. He begins tending to WESTLEY's wounds. This wakes WESTLEY up.]

Westley: Where am I?

Albino: [a raspy, menacing voice] The Pit of Despair… Don't even think—

[The ALBINO coughs, gags, and clears his throat.]

[normal voice] Don't even think about trying to escape. The chains are far too thick. And don't dream of being rescued, either. The only way in is secret, and only the Prince, the Count, and I know how to get in and out.

Westley: Then I'm here 'til I die?

Albino: 'Til they kill you, yeah.

Westley: Then why bother curing me?

Albino: [sighs] The Prince and the Count always insist on everyone being healthy before they're broken.

Westley: So it's to be torture? [The ALBINO nods.] I can cope with torture. [The ALBINO vigorously shakes head 'no.'] You don't believe me?

Albino: You survived the fire swamp, you must be very brave. But nobody withstands The Machine…

[The ALBINO smiles at the thought of it.]

[Scene: The Castle]

[BUTTERCUP walks by HUMPERDINCK and RUGEN in the passageway, melancholy.]

Humperdinck: She's been like that ever since the fire swamp. It's my father's failing health that's upsetting her.

Rugen: Of course.

[Scene: Castle Square.]

[A crowd has gathered, as they did the day HUMPERDINCK announced his engagement. With a crown on his head, HUMPERDINCK again stands on the balcony and addresses the crowd.]

Grandfather: [v.o.] The King died that very night, and before the following dawn, Buttercup and Humperdinck were married. And at noon, she met her subjects again, this time as their Queen.

Humperdinck: My father's final words were —

[A quick cut to Grandson's Bedroom.]

Grandson: —Hold it, hold it, Grandpa! Y-you read that wrong. She doesn't marry Humperdinck, she married Westley. I'm just sure of it… After all that Westley did for her, if she didn't marry him, it wouldn't be fair.

Grandfather: Well, who says life is fair? Where is that written? Life isn't always fair.

Grandson: [angrily] I'm telling you, you're messing up the story! Now get it right!

Grandfather: Do you want me to go on with this?

Grandson: [apologetic] Yes.

Grandfather: Alright, then, no more interruptions. At noon, she met her subjects again, this time as their Queen…

[Scene: Courtyard.]

[Again, HUMPERDINCK stands on the balcony and addresses the crowd below.]

Humperdinck: My father's final words were: "Love her as I loved her and there will be joy." I present to you, your Queen… Queen Buttercup!

[BUTTERCUP appears, as she had the day that their engagement was announced. She wears the same dress, but this time she wears a large and ornate crown. Stepping forward, she encounters a hideous woman.]

Ancient Booer: [in a horrid voice] Boo! Boo! Boo!

[The BOOER stands at the front of the crowd.]

Buttercup: Why do you do this?

Ancient Booer: Because you had love in your hands, and you gave it up!

Buttercup: But they would have killed Westley if I hadn't done it.

Ancient Booer: Your true love lives, and you marry another! True Love saved her in the fire swamp, and she treated it like garbage. And that's what she is, the Queen of refuse. So bow down to her if you want, bow to her. Bow to the Queen of slime, the Queen of filth, the Queen of putrescence. Boo! Boo! Rubbish! Filth! Slime! Muck! Boo! Boo! Boo!

[BUTTERCUP wakes from her dream with a jerk. She leaps from her bed, puts on her robe, and hurries from the room.]

Grandfather: [v.o.] It was ten days till the wedding. The King still lived, but Buttercup's nightmares were growing steadily worse.

[Scene: Humperdinck's Office.]

[HUMPERDINCK and RUGEN are at HUMPERDINCK's desk, planning.]

Grandson: [v.o.] See? Didn't I tell you she'd never marry that rotten Humperdinck?

Grandfather: [v.o.] Yes, you're very smart. Shut up.

Buttercup: It comes to this. I love Westley. I always have. I know now I always will. If you tell me I must marry you in ten days, please believe I will be dead by morning.

Humperdinck: I could never cause you grief. Consider our wedding off. [to RUGEN] You, uh, returned this Westley to his ship?

Rugen: [in a sly voice] Yes.

Humperdinck: Then we will simply alert him. [to Buttercup] Beloved, are you certain he still wants you? After all, it was you who did the leaving in the Fire Swamp. Not to mention that, uh, pirates are not known to be men of their words.

Buttercup: My Westley will always come for me.

Humperdinck: I suggest a deal. You write four copies of a letter. I'll send my four fastest ships, one in each direction. The Dread Pirate Roberts is always close to Florin this time of year. We'll run up the white flag and deliver your message. If Westley wants you, bless you both. If not, please consider me as an alternative to suicide. Are we agreed?

[BUTTERCUP nods in agreement.]

[Scene: Tree Grove.]

HUMPERDINCK and RUGEN walk to stand next to a tree, the secret entrance to the Pit of Despair.]

Rugen: Your princess is really quite a winning creature. A trifle simple, perhaps, but her appeal is undeniable.

Humperdinck: Oh, I know, the people are quite taken with her. It's odd, but when I hired Vizzini to have her murdered on our engagement day, I thought that was clever. But it's going to be so much more moving when I strangle her on our wedding night. Once Gilder is blamed, the nation will be truly outraged. They'll demand we go to war.

[RUGEN snickers and then examines a huge tree, looking for something.]

Rugen: Now where is that secret knot? It's impossible to find. Ah! Are you coming down into the Pit? Westley's got his strength back. I'm starting him on the Machine tonight.

Humperdinck: Tyrone, you know how much I love watching you work, but I've got my country's 500th anniversary to plan, my wedding to arrange, my wife to murder, and Gilder to frame for it. I'm swamped!

Rugen: Get some rest. If you haven't got your health, you haven't got anything.

[RUGEN enters the pit and HUMPERDINCK leaves the tree grove.]

[Scene: Pit of Despair]

[WESTLEY lays strapped to the table by the Machine. Suction cups are attached to his body. RUGEN stands to the left, behind a tall podium.]

Rugen: Beautiful, isn't it? Took me half a lifetime to invent it. I'm sure you've discovered my deep and abiding interest in pain. At present, I'm writing the definitive work on the subject, so I want you to be totally honest with me on how The Machine makes you feel. This being our first try, I'll use the lowest setting.

[RUGEN moves a lever from zero to one. Water starts flowing, powering the Machine. Wesley writhes in pain. After a moment, RUGEN returns the lever to zero.]

[calmly] As you know, the concept of the suction pump is centuries old. [he sits at the table] Really that's all this is except that instead of sucking water, I'm sucking life. I've just sucked one year of your life away. I might one day go as high as five, but I really don't know what that would do to you. So let's just start with what we have. What did this do to you? Tell me. And remember, this is for posterity, so be honest. How do you feel?

[WESTLEY whimpers in response.]

Rugen: Interesting.

[Scene: Humperdinck's Office]