Very funny episode. It wasn't quite as good as the Christmas episode where Amanda's boss hung himself, though. Christmas episodes just don't seem complete without a gruesome death.

The boys plus Dr. Visconti dressed up as Santas to entertain school kids. Kyle groused that they would sweat like pigs because it's 90 degrees. I wish. It was 88 just last week, but today was colder than heck. The high was only 55.

Amanda, Lexi and Eve were in a bank to open up an account for their charity. And wouldn't you know it, the only time we've ever seen a Place resident in a bank, it gets robbed. By five guys in Santa suits no less. The robbers needed the cash to buy a Furby.

After surrendering their valuables, Eve sniped at Lexi for chosing that bank. But you can't blame Lexi, that's probably the only bank in LA.

On the way to the schools, the boys were pulled over and arrested for the robbery. A description of the real robbers get away car must have matched Visconti's pimp-mobile.

They didn't try to flee, didn't offer any resistance, weren't armed and didn't have any of the loot on them. Obviously, they did it. Book 'em, Danno.

The police station sequence was hilarious. The guys being led down the hall, being fingerprinted, the hooker next to Kyle cracking bubbles with her gum (by the way, she was hot), the hairy transvestite sharing the cell with Peter and the taking of the mugshots - those were screen gems.

They were put in a lineup where one witness said they all looked alike. Another suggested that they remove their beards. Like that would help. How would she know what the real robbers looked like without their beards? Lucky for the guys the witness was witless, because Amanda, Lexi and Eve were able to recognize them and told the cops that they were their husbands, ex-husbands, boyfriends, ex-boyfriends and some geeky psychiatrist that they let hang out with them.

Since mates of criminals wouldn't lie to the police to protect their men, the guys were released.

Amanda and Kyle arrived home and Amanda was feeling a bit frisky. She said she lived a wild life but had never made love to Santa Claus before. As Kyle would believe it, he has something in common with Santa. Santa can't have kids either because he only comes once a year and when he does it's down a chimney.

Because of the arrest, Ryan was late for his dinner date with Megan. They had also planned to decorate Megan's Christmas tree. That's when I learned that "decorate the tree" was a metaphor for sex.

Jane was painting a picture of the apartment complex on a plate to give to Amanda. For realism, she should have added an exploding laundry room and a dead body in the pool.

Michael interrupted and asked whether she received his message from jail. She said she didn't check her messages. I don't know about you, but one of the first things I do when I get home is check my messages.

On the way to his divorce hearing in the LA County Courthouse, Michael saw the police lead the real bank robbers down the hallway. Mike's attorney said they were captured a few hours ago. So what were they doing in the courthouse and not jail? They couldn't have gotten a hearing that quickly.

And I don't think criminal court and divorce court are in the same building. But I don't know for sure because I've never been arrested or divorced. One would need to have been married in order to be divorced.

What was the story with that judge? Was he trying to be Judge Judy? After calling Jane "blondie" and fining Jane's lawyer for contempt for no good reason, I would have had him removed. But neither attorney figured out that Judge Nicholas was deranged.

So he asked a "Jeopardy"-style question of Jane and Michael. He asked why they remarried. They both responded with title of the Haddaway song that the Butabi brothers bob their heads to on Saturday Night Liv and A Night at the Roxbury, "What is Love?"

The sentence for answering correctly was to spend the holidays together and community service. Can they do that to you in divorce court?

Peter walked into The Jazz club in the middle of the afternoon to find Kyle drunk. He said he was looking for a little holiday cheer, which is impossible to find in California because there's no snow. Well, there's plenty of snow in Lake Tahoe. And the last time I check my atlas, a big part of Tahoe is in California.

Kyle started crying about his "crippled sperm." If I had gotten news that my sperm couldn't swim, I would have sought a second opinion. Oh, wait a minute. That would mean he would have to see Michael, the only other doctor in LA. Never mind.

And shouldn't Peter have gotten any paperwork on the test results? I don't know for sure because I've never been diagnosed as sterile. One would need to doubt his efficacy before even having the test performed.

Hello, major nippleage! Eve went to the Christmas tree lot to see how much money Travis, her ex-prison guard, wanted to keep silent about her time in the poky. She wasn't wearing a bra. And it must have been cold that day.

Travis didn't want money. He just wanted to "decorate her tree." You mean he hasn't already? I thought that was one of the perks of being a prison guard in a women's penitentiary. Perhaps I've been deceived by those midnight movies on Cinemax.

At the AWA Christmas party, Amanda received a phone call from Ryan. He explained he missed work because he was ill. He said he had some bad sushi. Now was that a nice thing to say about Megan?

It must have been cold in the office, too. Eve's high beams were still on (and her left nipple seemed to hang a bit lower than her right) when she showed up to tell Amanda and Kyle about Travis' indecent proposal. Kyle said he would take care of it (the part about Travis, not about her nipples).

Kyle went to the tree lot where he strongly censured Travis. That didn't work. So Kyle beat the living crap out of him. He went back to his car looking remorseful. I wonder if Congress felt the same way.

It wasn't much of a fight. Travis didn't even land a punch. I guess that's why he was a women's prison guard and not a men's. He would have gotten his ass kicked by the convicts.

The next morning, Kyle told Amanda what he had done. She was appalled. She would have voted for censure instead of a beating. Lousy Democrat.

Michael and Jane's community service was distributing toys to children. One kid asked for something for his mom because she just lost her job. I was expecting Michael to ask what she looked like, because he's got a "job" for her. That would be typical of Michael.

But noooooooo. He did an honorable thing by offering the kid cash to buy his mom a gift. They hugged. I cried. NOT.

Jane saw, and was surprised, by this tender moment. He then asked if she could forgive him for the wedding fiasco, the accusations and the bed through the ceiling thing. He said he was really sorry. Jane asked whether he was apologizing.

Duh! He said he was sorry and asked for forgiveness. Dumb blonde.

Lexi showed up at the tree lot just as Travis finished packing up to leave. Kyle spooked him. Before driving off, he told Lexi that Eve had some secrets. Why couldn't he have just told her that Eve was in prison?

Kyle went to Peter's office to tell him he almost beat a man to death because of his situation with Amanda. Peter said it was because of Kyle's heavy drinking. So what did Petey do? He wrote a prescription for a mild antidepressant. Yeah, that's the thing to do - give drugs to a guy abusing alcohol.

Hanson performed at The Jazz Club. I was thinking to myself, those are the ugliest chicks I've ever seen. When Lexi said, "if those boys were a little bit older, I'd take them back to my condo," I figured out that Hanson were dudes. That would explain why the biggest one sounded so manly.

Lexi asked Eve about her secret. They went to a back room where Eve slugged Lexi twice. She barely flinched. Then Lexi slugged Eve twice. She barely flinched. Both these gals could give and take punches better than Billy and Craig.

Before any real damage was done and, unfortunately, any clothes was torn off their lithe bodies, Kyle broke up the fight. Bastard.

Amanda's period was late so she thought she may be pregnant. She took an EPT and discovered that she wasn't. So Kyle may be shooting blanks after all.

Too bad the U.S. ended its most recent hostilities towards Iraq. Kyle could have gone back to try to find his sperm.

Jane was delivered a mysterious, large package. As she opened it, Michael popped out. Awwww, how romantic. They agreed to be nice to each other and started to make out. Maybe that whacko judge knew what he was doing.

Nah. I don't think so. They'll be fighting in the next episode.

After three days of marathon sex, Megan and Ryan were eating a fruitcake. This led to the line of the week. Megan said, "Next time I'm going to grocery shop before the orgy." That's always been my motto.

Megan then asked whether it was just sex or whether there was a relationship in the making. Ryan replied relationship. If he wanted another three days of unbridled passion, that was the correct response.

Peter arrived at Amanda and Kyle's apartment to celebrate Christmas. Peter said to Kyle that Lexi told him he beat up Travis. But earlier when Lexi confronted Peter at the hospital about Eve's past, she never said that Kyle did it. She only said that Travis was beat up. Maybe Peter put the pieces together and figured it out.

Kyle admitted to giving Travis the Rodney King treatment, saying he was coming on to Eve. But Peter didn't fall for that story. He seemed real suspicious...

That's it for this week. The Place isn't on next week. Or the week after that. So that gives us plenty of time to enjoy and recover from the holidays.

Check out my site for a couple of new articles.

Last week's Soap Opera Digest published an article recapping the news headlines from the year in soaps. There was also an article about the best and worst in soaps in 1998. I didn't have time to post these last week just like I didn't have time to post the new items in the current issue. The Post Office was late again in delivering my magazine so I'll post the Place related items next week.

And lastly, TV Guide Guide spoke to the stars of "Charmed." For the first time, Alyssa revealed the identity of her fiance.

Read 'em all at http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/4616/.

So whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa or Festivus, here's wishing you all a happy holiday.