Gotta make this a quickee. I've got to get up early for work tomorrow. Yippee! I've got a job.

Michael was such a quick thinker. When Jane said she was 5 minutes away, he called 911and concocted a story about how Taylor was sick and to send an ambulance to ferret Taylor out of the house. Even quicker than Michael's brainwaves was the ambulance. It arrived seconds after Michael made the call.

Mikey wasn't out of the woods yet. He had to hide all signs of Taylor and infant stuff. Just as he hid the last Beanie Baby, Jane knocked on the door. Phew, crisis averted.

Sam wanted to make Billy and Jen as miserable as possible. She told Jeff, who'll be in Atlanta, where Billy's soul mate, Alison is, to send a fax addressed from Alison to Billy. It should say that Alison still loves Billy. What better way to say "I love you" than by fax!

Taylor revealed to Coop that she'd been having nightmares about the baby. That she was having it for all the wrong reasons. She used it to tried to get Kyle back. She used it to try to get Michael. A piece of advice to you Taylor. You don't get a guy by telling him he's gonna be a daddy. Most guys would head for the hills.

Much to Michael's chagrin, Taylor was released early from Wilshire Memorial (the only hospital in LA). He raced home to try to prevent Taylor and Jane from seeing each other. He wasn't fast enough. All three met and Michael tried to explain the situation.

If he had only explained it to Jane back in Chicago that he got her pregnant. You'd figure Michael to be the type to boast of the proficiency of his sperm. But if he did, we wouldn't have gotten to see him squirm.

Kyle and Amanda talked about getting a house. She quickly ran the figures through her head and determined that if they sold The Place and pooled their money, they could get an OK house. He owns a restaurant that always has people waiting for a table (albeit the same 3 people) and a jazz club full of people watching lame acts. She owns an 8-unit apartment building which never has a vacancy for too long and a supposedly successful advertising business. If all they could afford is an OK house, then all I could afford is a cardboard box.

While Coop was trying to have breakfast, Lexi sauntered into the kitchen with just a nightie on. Coop told her to put some clothes on. With the recent heat wave in LA, I've been saying the same thing to all the beautiful, scantily-clad women prancing about all over town.

Jane returned to The Place to look for a place to live. She reminisced about some of the times she had there. That sequence could have been called, "The Many Short Haircuts of Jane Mancini." Anyway, I was hoping that they would do a flashback with Sydney, and they did two. One of Syd and Jane hugging and another of them fighting and falling into the pool because of Grandma's wedding dress.

Laura Leighton was probably happy, too. Since they used those clips again, she gets paid again.

Billy read the fax he believed to be from Alison. He went to Amanda to get Al's phone number so that he could talk to her. Amanda said she's in rehab and can't accept calls. Yeah, but she has free reign of their fax machine.

This episode's happy drunk was Sam. Jeff called to see how the fax went over and a stewed Sam couldn't have been more elated. Revenge is sweet, especially when you're wasted.

The line of the week goes to Jennifer. She introduced Jane to Megan by saying, "Ex-Michael wife Number One, ex-Michael wife Number Four." Technically, I think Megan should be Number Five because Michael married Kimberly twice.

Even though Kyle banished him from the Jazz Club last week, Peter was there and was able to spot the two wiseguys that Mr. Beck, the mafioso, sent to carry out his plan against Amanda. Peter knew who they were because he saw the label on one of their suits. It said "Gangsters 'R' Us." Peter tried to tell them to be gentle with Amanda. But they wouldn't hear of it.

Amanda offered Jane a job at Amanda Woodward Advertising. It turned out Amanda landed an account with a clothing retailer. Quite fortunate for Jane. Because the chances of the only other employment opportunities at The Place (the Jazz Club, Wilshire Memorial, Burns/Mancini and Sterling Conway) offering a fashion related job are rather slim.

Michael told the whole truth to Jane about how he should have told her about Taylor in Chicago. And that Taylor was living with him because he was trying to do the right thing. And that he went to the reunion perchance to see Jane. Awww. That's sweet.

Jane bought the apology. Awww. That's stupid. That's Michael talking there.

Before Billy went for a jog, Jennifer asked for a kiss. He envisioned he was kissing Alison. Which made Courtney Thorne-Smith happy. Spelling has to pay her for using that clip.

Lexi hinted to Megan that all men are dogs and that in no time, Coop will be all over Lexi. To that, I say, "Woof." Anyway, Lexi said she was hungry and wanted more nuts. Wasn't Coop's enough?

Back at home, Lexi was horny and scantily-clad again. Finally acting like a regular guy, Coop jumped her bones. I'd have jumped her weeks ago. He regretted it in the morning. I wouldn't.

Jane and Taylor bonded so Jane agreed to stay at the beach house to help out Taylor. Taylor was again stressing about being a proper mother when Jane said that Taylor was a good person. That showed just how much Jane knew about Taylor.

While packing for Italy, Billy told Jennifer about Alison's fax. She read it and saw that it said, "And I-I-I-I-I-I-I, will always love yo-u-u-u-u-u-u (sing it to Whitney Houston)." However, she didn't, and neither did anyone else, notice that the sender's ID in the fax's header said "Kinko's Copy Centers."

Megan confronted Coop and asked him if Lexi was seducing him. He said no. He should have said yes. She didn't ask him whether he slept with her. His answer would have been legally accurate and he wouldn't have volunteered any information.

Violating Kyle's ban again, Peter saw the two goons follow Amanda out of the Club. He tried to get them to stop whatever he and Mr. Beck had previously arranged. Again, they wouldn't hear of it and beat the crap out of Peter for interfering.

The goons catch up to Amanda's car and rear ended her. Her car that is. When she got out to inspect the damage, the hoods kidnapped her. They'll soon rue the day they decided to do that.

I've got to get up in a few hours, so that's it for this week.

Read a partial spoiler for next week's episode, "Buona Sera Mr. Campbell," (Dave didn't post his news release from Fox this week) on my site.

Also new is an article about how David James Elliott, who played the sexaholic quarterback, Terry Parsons, on The Place and is currently the star of "JAG," was up for the part of Jake.

And there is also an item about how Heather Locklear is part Native American.

Read 'em all at http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/4616/.

'Til next week...