My comments on the August 10th episode of Melrose Place
Hi guys:

After only two episodes, The Place is already back in mid-season form. It has started to pretty much suck again.

For the second consecutive week, the show started off with a fantasy sequence. Megan dreamt that during her wedding to Coop, the priest would alternately perform the ceremony and administer last rites to Lexi. Quite an interesting and surreal device. If the show makes the opening fantasy sequence a trademark, they can use it to bring back my favorite dead characters, Sydney and Kimberly.

At The Place, Peter awaited Amanda's return from the Dominican Republic and professed his love for her. She told him she remarried Kyle. Doh! The woman you love is married to someone else. I hate when that happens.

I thought it was cute how awkward Peter was when he tried to hide the roses he was holding when Kyle showed up.

Does anyone else besides me think that the Old Navy commercial with Eartha Kitt is really stupid?

Finally! A line worthy of the "line of the week." When Taylor told Michael the baby was kicking, he replied, "Well, of course he is. You're his mother. I'm surprised he's not screaming bloody murder or holding up a liquor store." Don't forget Mikey, you're his father.

Then when Dr. Halsey ran an ultrasound, the baby appeared normal. I was looking for a big pair of lips, but what I saw looked like an amoeba in the midst of mitosis. I wonder what Freud would say to that.

Lexi got trashed at The Upstairs so Coop was volunteered by Megan to take her home. Lexi stripped off her dress to reveal some lovely lingerie and then hinted she wanted to get intimate. A hot, horny and drunken woman in her underwear is a wet dream come true. But all Coop did was hug her. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE!

Peter interrupted Michael putting the make the the new secretary, Kary. Michael thought Peter had an interest in her, too. Which is understandable because Kary is a really not bad babe. Anyway, Peter said he cared about someone else. Michael ran off the list - Lexi, Taylor, Megan... Amanda. Bingo. Now why couldn't Peter have denied it and said it was someone that Michael didn't know?

Sam was upset when she arrived home to find that Billy and Jennifer were frolicking in the pool. She called Jeff for some consolation, but he wasn't home. She sobbed to his answering machine. Boo hoo. Don't break my heart.

Just as Michael was about to get another wet dream come true by Kary, a car cut them off and forced them off the road. What caused blowus interruptus was a woman in labor in the car that cut them off. I hate when that happens. Fortunately for the pregnant woman, Michael's a doctor and delivered the baby.

Sam couldn't bear to work with Billy any longer. She stormed into Amanda's office to demand that she choose between the two of them. Amanda chose Billy. Next time Sam and Amanda are in a helicopter accident, see if Sam saves her life.

Lexi convinced Megan to convince Coop to marry Lexi. After the ceremony, Lexi's lawyer spelled out the details of the codicil in order for thyem to keep the money. One of the points was that they must be married in fact. So that means that Coop must perform his connubial obligations, and with Megan's blessing. Lucky stiff.

That's it for this week's episode.

Check out my site for a Soap Opera Magazine article about Rena Sofer. It says she's an ex-con, ex-cheerleader buddy of Amanda.

Then there is an Entertainment Weekly article once again portending The Place's demise.

And finally, there's an Us Magazine article about Rob Este's workout routine.

Read 'em all at http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/4616/.

'Til next week...

Stan


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