The producers promised a finale comparable to those of Seinfeld and M*A*S*H. They lied. The Seinfeld and M*A*S*H finales sucked. This one was actually good.

While fleeing with Sarah, Terri crashed into a utility pole splitting the front end in half. Sarah, who was not wearing her seat belt, managed not to fly through the windshield and was pulled from the wreckage unscathed. Terri escaped with just a scratch even though the airbag did not deploy. I have got to get me one of those cars. The way I drive, I could use those advanced safety features.

Amanda admitted to Peter that she killed Kent. She noticed she lost her bracelet and went back to the scene of the crime to find it in Kent's hand. When she tried to retrieve it, she realized Kent was still alive. She somehow knew that he would kill her, so she thwacked him with a rock.

Lexi and Eve made it back to The Place in warp speed from Oakhurst after Eve recalled her repressed memories. As Lexi called the cops, Eve knocked her out with a pepper shaker.

Eve stripped Lexi down to her undies, tied her up and put her in the bath tub. While brushing her teeth without any toothpaste, she told Lexi she was planning to kill Peter and Amanda.

At the only hospital in LA where Terri's wound was treated, Terri apologized to Megan and Ryan. She conceded custody of Sarah to them. And they lived happily ever after.

Jane finally told Kyle she was pregnant. Kyle was overjoyed. But what made him think it was his baby? It could be Jim's, the psycho artist.

Michael told Peter that Shulman was looking into the missing Children's Fund money that Peter repaid. Why's Shulman on the warpath again? What happened to bygones? Maybe she's not getting any more good lovin' from Visconti.

Eve told Peter that her repressed memories were just a fantasy. Why didn't Peter question her about this statement? Amanda had already admitted to Peter that the memories were in fact real.

Jane was told that she was two-and-a-half months pregnant. Which could only mean one thing - Michael's the father! I'm surprised I didn't see that coming.

Ryan and Megan held their reception at the Upstairs. The last reception held there ended rather unhappily. Jane and Michael broke up moments after their marriage. And Ryan and Lexi ended up naked in the bathroom. It's a wonder Megan would want to hold their reception there.

And just who were all those other people there? They have other friends?

Anyway, Kyle took the opportunity to announce he and Jane were having a baby and invited everyone to their wedding. Amanda was visibly shaken. And so was Jane.

Megan noticed Jane's consternation and followed her into the bathroom. Jane told her it was Michael's baby and that she was going to skip town and leave Kyle.

Why is it that everyone pregnant with Michael's child wants to run away? Taylor took off to Boston with his unborn boy.

Amanda was taking a dump in one of the stalls and overheard all this. She then went and told Kyle. That was nice of her.

The LAPD confiscated files from Peter's office. They found evidence of possible embezzlement in his computer. The only thing that should be on his computer is him putting money into the Fund. How's that embezzlement?

Kyle went to see Jane and told her he didn't care that it was Michael's baby. He said he would accept it as his own child. They hugged and lived happily ever after.

Michael walked into Lexi's apartment and started to kiss who he thought was Lexi. Turned out it was Eve dressed up like Lexi. So that's why she stripped Lexi. She punched Michael out then knocked him out cold with a little statue.

Peter and Amanda were almost run over by Lexi's car. A witness identified the driver as a redhead. Been there. Done that. Kimberly, wearing a blonde wig, ran over Michael in Jane's car.

Back in Eve's bathroom, Lexi summoned up some superhuman strength and broke free from her binds. After freeing Michael, the police showed up to arrest her for the attempted murder of Peter and Amanda.

In trying to explain that it was Eve dressed like Lexi who tried to kill Peter and Amanda, Lexi said that Eve's repressed memories were real. Of course, Peter and Amanda already knew that. This led to Amanda admitting to murdering Kent.

Even though she fessed up that she killed Kent, the police didn't charge or arrest her. What's up with that?

Peter offered Visconti a stack of money to rent his cabin for the weekend. Why would he want to go back there? The last time he was at the cabin, he nearly died.

Amanda went to tell Kyle that she would be skipping town. Good thing she wasn't arrested. She told him she would send him the locket he gave to her when he and Jane have a girl.

Michael brought a judge to The Place to marry him and Lexi. Michael said, "I do." Lexi said, "I don't." And they lived happily ever after. NOT!

Shulman and the cops went to Michael's apartment to find out the whereabouts of Peter and Amanda. Michael said he didn't know where they were. But Shulman knew that Visconti was hiding something. He spilled his guts and told them that Peter and Amanda were at his cabin.

The entourage went to the woods where the cops were going to storm the cabin with their guns drawn. They were afraid that Peter and Amanda would be armed. With what? A rock?

Michael convinced them that he would be able to talk them out peacefully. As he approached, BOOM! The cabin exploded.

Anyone notice Josie Bissett's Neutrogena commercial? Heather with her L'Oreal commercials and Courtney with her Almay commercials now have competition. Josie wasn't out of work too long.

Michael went to tell Kyle and Jane about Peter and Amanda's deaths. He told them that the bodies were so badly burned that they could only be identified by dental records. Yet when he handed Kyle Amanda's personal effects, they were very much intact.

At the memorial service, Eve showed up in her cheerleader's outfit, the sleeves of which were too long. Did her arms get shorter while she was in prison?

She said she was glad they were dead and hoped they rot in hell. She then tossed Peter's ashes all over Lexi, saying she always wanted Peter all over her. The cops, no memorial service would be complete without them, then hauled her off.

And just who were all those other people there? They have other friends?

Much to Shulman's chagrin, Michael was named in documents stating he would become chief of staff in the event of Peter's death. Yeah, like everyone names a successor to their job in case they die.

Basking in the glory of his new office, Michael got a nice surprise. A bombshell nurse was made his assistant. Which led to the line of the week. As she sat in his lap to take a memo, Michael said, "Something's come up..." Schwing! It's good to be chief of staff. Maybe Michael lives happily ever after after all.

In prison with her makeup all messed up, Eve looked like a deranged clown. In a possible lesbian moment, a fellow prisoner stroked Eve's hair and said she was once a cheerleader. Paraphrasing Blanche DuBois, Eve said she always relied on the kindness of cheerleaders. I don't think she lives happily ever after.

The locket which Amanda never took off and was not among the personal effects was delivered to Kyle. So since they just learned that the baby would be a girl, Kyle knew that Amanda was still alive.

On their own island, Peter and Amanda were married once again. They must invest using the online brokerage Discover.com. The toughest part about owning your own island is naming it.

Anyway, they said that Michael was instrumental in faking their deaths by switching their dental records. The million bucks they gave him would buy his silence. Michael definitely lives happily ever after.

But was Visconti in on it, too? If he didn't spill his guts, the cops would never have gone to the cabin to witness the explosion.

Whatever.

Amanda and Peter talked about all the kids they would have. Peter had names picked out. Billy, Alison, Matt, Jake, Jane, Kyle and maybe a Michael. But Amanda said no Kimberly. Too funny!

The show ended appropriately with Semisonic's "Closing Time" and Amanda and Peter walking off into the sunset, just like the Globe and Star said. And they lived happily ever after...

That's it for this week and forever. Can you believe I made it through without mentioning Eve's nipples? Oops, I just did.

Tune in next week for, well, nothing. But I will send you my final thoughts on The Place before I dismantle my mailing list and shut down my site.

New there is an AP report on how The Place is causing eating disorders.

Entertainment Weekly tallied up the vital stats for The Place. How many people did Amanda and Jake sleep with? How many residents tried to kill the other residents?

Heather Locklear told the LA Times Magazine that she's interested in doing comedy.

Jack Wagner shared his thoughts on the cancellation.

Thomas Calabro, Rob Estes, Rena Sofer, John Haymes Newton, Kelly Rutherford and Jamie Luner recalled their favorite Place moments.

Soap Opera Digest recalled its most memorable Place moments.

Celebrity Style named Heather Locklear and Place guest star Denise Richards two of their sexiest Hollywood sirens.

And as a public service, I've posted next fall's line-up for Mondays between 8-9PM so you could try to determine what you will watch instead of The Place.

Read 'em all at http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/4616/.

'Til next week...