Has anyone seen the Nike commercial with Atlanta Braves pitchers Tom Glavine and Greg Maddux practicing their hitting because of all the attention Mark McGuire is getting? Was that Heather Locklear and Rena Sofer asking Tom whether he's seen Mark?

Anyway, onto this week's episode...

The show started out on the basketball court with Ryan, Megan, Sarah and Terri playing two-on-two. Megan had established position when Terri drove the lane and did a Dikembe Mutombo and elbowed Megan in the eye. This would normally provoke a bench-clearing brawl, but Ryan did not rush to defend his teammate.

Peter was packing his clothes when he discovered Polaroids of some good times he had with Amanda. That's where I keep my photos, tucked between my Armani shirts. Eve, the bra-less wonder, walked in and interrupted him gazing at the pictures. She explained that it was Amanda, not her, that arranged for him to miss the launch back to the ship. She kissed him and seemingly against his will, threw him onto the bed. I hate when that happens.

Amanda, Ryan and Megan gathered in AWA's screening room to watch the cruise line commercial footage. They saw that it was flawed and the projectionist knew right off that it was caused by x-ray damage, most likely from the airport. But Amanda blamed Megan because Megan's hobby is roentgeneology.

Amanda pulled up to the only restaurant in LA and Peter pulled up right after her. He knew she would be there so he could yell at her for trying to set Eve up with Tony. He said she tricked him into having sex with her. I hate when that happens.

He then said all she cares about is herself and it's no wonder Kyle left her. She went to slap him, but his kung fu was better than hers and he intercepted her attack with a maneuver known as lop sau.

Tony was waiting for Amanda inside the restaurant where Amanda lied that she destroyed the commercial footage because Eve was such a bad actress. If the producers of The Place destroyed footage because of bad acting, there'd be no show.

Amanda was hoping Tony would finance a reshoot. He said no. He also knew she shot her wad with the first commercial and couldn't afford to do another. He told her he was through with her agency. He also told her to move out of his townhouse. Did I miss something? Did they establish last week that that's where she's been staying?

To make things worse, Lexi showed up and left with Tony. Doh!

As Eve was leaving The Place, Billy Joe Jim Bob, the red-neck prison guard/Christmas tree salesman, surprised her. He got a job as a rent-a-cop in LA and intimated that he'd be stalking her and her ever-present nipples. This time, she was not intimidated. Partly because Peter now knows about her past and BJJB can no longer use that against her, and partly because she's gone nutso.

Anticipating she would be fired because of her love of x-rays, Megan composed her resignation letter. Ryan told her not to quit. He said he would talk to Amanda. She wished he would have stood up for her on the basketball court. Hey, Shaquille O'Neal would even stand up for Kobe Bryant on the court.

Amanda went to Wilshire Memorial to explain to Peter that her feelings for him are real. She said she still loves him. He dragged her in to an operating room and said he loved her, too. Then they began to operate.

Terri walked into Ryan's room as he was exiting the shower so he could see her in her lingerie. Her red teddy looked remarkably similar to Lt. Stephanie Holden's Baywatch swimsuit.

Lexi was singing in the shower when Michael tried to walk in to join her. When he opened the clouded shower door, steam didn't rush out. But her naked form was digitally blurred and a hand-drawn cursor followed the movement of the door across the screen.

Lexi explained to Michael that she was going to pitch Tony's cruise line account. Part of the pitch would be sleeping with him. Michael was not happy.

Personally, I would not do business with a woman who would resort to such means to get my account. It's immoral. It's unscrupulous. Don't get me wrong. I'd sleep with her. I just wouldn't give her my business afterward.

The upshot is Michael had to take a cold shower by himself instead of a hot one with Lexi.

Amanda beckoned Ryan into her office and asked him how much money was left in the agency's account. There was $30,000. She told him to divide it among the remaining employees. She was closing AWA.

Okay, two weeks ago, she fired half of what appeared to be a staff of 40. So $30,000 divided by 20 is $1,500. Nice severance package. That's like, my weekly beer money. Thanks a lot, Amanda!

Anyway, she deserves to fold. No ad agency in their right mind would produce a broadcast-quality commercial on spec, let alone one that costs $1,000,000. Stupid bitch.

Ryan went to Jane's bitch house to tell Kyle that Amanda was closing the agency. As Kyle walked away to go to talk to Ryan, you could see that Josie was noticeably pregnant in the background.

At dinner with Terri and Sarah, a clueless Ryan asked Kyle whether or not Terri had the hots for him. Duh! Of course she did.

I know how Ryan feels. I've been told countless number of times that a girl was flirting with me. If only there was a book - "Dating for Dummies." I'm the biggest dummy out there. After Ryan, that is.

Kyle spotted Peter at the bar waiting for Eve to have dinner. He told Peter that Amanda was closing AWA. So when Eve arrived, wearing a bra for the first time in weeks, Peter blew her off and called Amanda at AWA.

Peter wanted to meet her to talk. But she said her lease ran out at midnight, so she would stay there until 11:59. What foresight to time the expiration of her lease to not winning a big account!

Peter arrived at AWA to find a drunken Amanda in the darkened office. The electricity had already been cut off. She anticipated not winning a big account months ago and bounced her checks to Southern California Edison in advance.

Peter and Amanda reaffirmed their love for each other. He said he's planning to leave Eve. Which led to the line of the week. He said, "Every time I leave a woman, she tries to kill me."

Peter took Eve to breakfast to discuss their relationship. Eve suggested they take the second honeymoon they've been talking about. Peter didn't think so. Instead, he gave her the "let's be friends" speech and said he didn't love her anymore. Doh!

Ryan brought Megan onto the roof of The Place. He had a romantic candle-lit dinner prepared for her up there, complete with a pianist. She asked whether the pianist was Michael Feinstein as if we were supposed to know who he is.

It's a good thing the building codes specify that a roof must support the weight of a piano when Amanda rebuilt it. Otherwise, Lexi would have returned home to find a spinet on her bed. Though she most likely would have brought new meaning to the term, "tickling the ivories."

Anyway, Ryan proposed to Megan. She said he was the most wonderful man she has ever met. And that's saying a lot because, being an ex-hooker and all, she's met a lot of men. She said yes.

Lexi went to Tony's house to "pitch" the account. Michael showed up. He knew where Tony lived because all billionaires are listed in the Pacific Bell white pages. He watched as Lexi stripped and started to grope with Tony.

But Tony's wife arrived home and Michael alerted Lexi and Tony to that fact by blowing the horn to his car. A semi-clad Lexi ran out and hopped into Michael's car and drove off.

Now if Michael wanted to sabotage Lexi and Tony's relationship, wouldn't it have been better for him to allow Mrs. Marlin to discover them in flagrante delicto?

Kyle was telling Jane how he went to Amanda's hotel to see how she was doing and discovered Peter was there. Of course, Eve overheard this and it helped to further push her over the edge. She crushed the drink she was holding in her hand. Ouch!

Megan apologized to Michael for trying to win the Tony Marlin account by sleeping with him. She promised Michael would be the only man in her life when who should knock on her door? Yup, it was Tony. She quickly ushered Mikey out and proceeded to take up where she left off at Tony's place. What a lying, bitch slut.

Tony told her to give him a minute while he popped his Viagra. It'll take quite a few minutes. It takes some time for them puppies to take effect.

The pills he popped looked like orange-flavored Smarties. Viagras are blue. Not that I would know. I mean, that's what I've been told. It's not like I need it.

A drunken Eve told Kyle that Peter left her. But she was already over it. In fact, she already had a date. It was Billy Joe Jim Bob.

Back at the love shack, Lexi complained to Tony that she was doing all the work. She noticed that he wasn't breathing and called Michael. Not being a doctor, she needed a professional opinion as to whether or not he was dead. Michael arrived and concurred with her diagnosis. Tony was indeed dead.

Peter went back to his apartment to find Eve in bed with Billy Joe Jim Bob. Eve insulted Peter's prowess in bed before ordering him to leave. She then asked BJJB to put the hurt on Peter and Amanda. BJJB said he couldn't do it. Must have something to do with the security guards' Hippocratic oath.

She threw him out screaming she doesn't need him. After all, she's a cheerleader. And we all know cheerleaders can accomplish whatever they set their minds to. She's completely wigged out.

That's week for this week's episode. Check out my site for the spoiler for next week's penultimate episode, "Dead Men Don't Shut up."

Also new there is news of another Place auction. So if you missed Sotheby's auction last year, now's your chance to own a piece of The Place.

NBC's Denver affiliate will not be showing Kristin Davis' Atomic Train out of respect for the victims of the Columbine High School massacre. All of Kristin's Denver-based fans will be upset. Both of them.

TV Guide gave a behind-the-scenes peek at the finale.

And Alyssa Milano's publicist has been working overtime. She appeared in both Maxim and Us.

Read 'em all at http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/4616/.

'Til next week...