My comments on the January 18th episode of The Place
Hi guys:

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed. We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal.

I have a dream that one day out in the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slaveowners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that one day Melrose Place will not suck like it did today.

Michael had a dream. He dreamt he was rich. I would have thought a Michael fantasy would have had a lot more scantily clad women. But there was only an overdressed Jane, her manicurist and a beautiful, miniskirted blonde (schwing!) who arrived to tell Michael he had a patient waiting. The beautiful blonde morphed into Nurse Amy (schwivel!) as Michael awoke.

Kyle returned to the Jazz Club where Peter caught him with his bag of drugs. They looked like Tylenol caplets. Upset that Amanda threw him out because she thinks he's cheating on her, he grabbed Eve and kissed her, saying if that's what Amanda thinks, he'll prove her right. He should have done one of the groupies last week instead of just watching.

Lexi was upset when she saw a personal ad that Megan had placed in her search for Mr. Right for her. What would Lexi be doing looking at the "Women Seeking Men" section of the personals? Lexi quickly changed her tune when she saw the flood of responses the ad received.

To get the money to invest in Perry's stock, Michael went to Peter's computer and "borrowed" $100,000 from the Children's Foundation. Peter's financial program made it really easy by having a "Transfer Funds To Michael Mancini" function. When they say Macs are user friendly, they aren't kidding.

Ryan overheard Megan making reservations for a hotel suite by the hour and having the bill sent to her PO box. I didn't think those types of hotels required reservations or had suites and demanded payment in cash. Now why would Megan need such a room? Ryan thought that she reverted to her call girl ways.

Amanda received a heartfelt message from Kyle saying he still loved her and wanted to meet with her at the club. He said he was drinking because of all the pressure she's been putting on him because she wanted to get pregnant. That seemed like the perfect opportunity for him to tell her he's sterile. He might have gotten some compassion from Amanda. Compassion... Amanda... Never mind.

Michael went to Perry's house and found people moving the furnishings out but no sign of Perry. One of the movers said that the house was a movie location and that they were moving out the set dressing. A call to Perry's cell phone indicated the phone had been disconnected. Michael began to suspect he'd been duped.

My question is, if the house was a movie set, where was set security?

Megan told Lexi that she had narrowed her search for Mr. Right down to five finalists. Lexi ordered her to date each them to check them out for stuff like bad breath and BO. Which led to the line of the week. Lexi said, "If you could get them to drink a lot, try and follow them into the men's room and take a little peek." If you're a babe, you don't need to get a guy drunk to get him to flash you his whang.

Megan turned on her laptop and opened the file of the five finalists. Number one was Ryan. Surprise, surprise. You couldn't see who number five was, but it was me.

Rikki G and his band arrived at Kyle's without a lead vocalist. Kyle said they can't make it as a rock band in LA without a lead vocalist. So you can make it somewhere else without one? Anyway, Rikki suggested that Eve sing with them and Kyle ordered her to do so.

At the police station, Michael identified Perry from the mug books. Turned out he's a con man who's MO is conning doctors with phony investment schemes. As he left the station, the Ferrari Perry gave him was being repossessed. Now if Michael had tried to sell the car to get he money to invest, he would have learned that someone else held the lien to the car. Even getting the car registered in his name would have told him that.

While performing a song more horrid than anything ever heard at the club (worse than Sean Lennon even), Eve was bumped and grinded by the band members. When she refused to perform with them again, Kyle threatened to tell Peter about her jail time.

Michael was about to tell Jane about the investment gone sour. But Jane interrupted to give him a present. Believing the investment hype, she went out and bought his and her Rolexes. Talk about counting your chickens before they hatch.

Ryan had a meeting with a client at a club that wasn't Kyle's when guess who showed up? Megan, with the first of her dates. What a coincidence! When Megan needed change to pay the valet, Ryan spotted the date hand her money. This aroused his suspicions even more, because we all know that hookers and their johns publicly exchange cash.

Amanda told Eve that she destroyed her marriage with Kyle just like she did with her marriage to Peter. She said she drove them both to drink. But little did she know that she was actually helping their health. Japanese researchers have found that drinking beer helps to prevent cancer. And researchers in New York discovered that drinking vodka helps prevent strokes and heart attacks.

Amanda then wondered what she would do without Kyle. The question isn't what she would do, but who she would do. My guess is Ryan, since he is the only one she hasn't done yet.

Kyle told Peter Eve's secret even though he promised her he wouldn't. He said promises were made to be broken. This sets the stage for Peter to break his promise to Kyle about not telling Amanda about his sterility.

That's it for this week.

I have the spoiler for next week's episode, "A Fist Full of Secrets," posted on my site.

Also new there is a Globe article about Heather Locklear's fast food diet. It says she could eat whatever she wants and not gain weight.

The Globe and The Enquirer covered Alyssa Milano's wedding. There were some new pictures of her husband in which he didn't look quite as gruesome. He just looked like a dork.

Soap Opera Update revealed some spoilers for the February sweeps. Ho hum. Sounded boring.

SOU also reported on Jamie Luner's departure.

Read 'em all at http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/4616/.

Gotta go now and take some cancer preventative.

Stan


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