My comments on the January 11th episode of The Place
Hi guys:

It was a pretty awful episode, but was saved by one scene. Those of you who know me by now should be able to guess what scene that would be. All others, stay tuned...

Amanda mentioned to Jane that she and Kyle were having a bit of a problem conceiving. Jane suggested they see the fertility specialist she saw after she miscarried Michael's baby. She said he gets really good results. So how come Jane and Michael don't have a child?

Lexi complained to Amanda that her name was not mentioned in the story about the Children's Charity. Amanda told her it was not her fault. After Lexi left, Amanda fessed up to Jane that she does the advertising for the newspaper and that she told the reporter not to mention Lexi. The newspaper is her client. You don't ask a client for a favor.

At the Club, Kyle got a phone message from Amanda. She said to wake her if she's asleep when he gets home. She wanted to make a baby and can't do it without him. Duh!

Kyle, thinking she couldn't even do it with him, threw the answering machine into the wall. Telecommunication devices have been taking a beating lately.

You would think that Robert McBride, the guy whose test results was confused with Kyle's, would have learned by now that he was impotent, then call his doctor, who in turn would call the testing lab, who would say "oops, I made a boo-boo." Then the lab would call Peter to tell him Kyle was unimpotent, who then might tell Kyle the good news. You would think, wouldn't you?

Jane and Michael agreed to terminate their divorce proceedings. Unfortunately, their lawyers were not so charitable and presented them with their bills. And what big bills they were. Doh!

Lexi told Eve that she hired a private investigator to privately investigate Eve. Eve didn't seem too worried, saying all the P.I. would turn up was that she's from the down side of town. Yeah, the side that's in prison. She should worry.

Peter interrupted their little spat and took Lexi outside. He apologized for hurting her and told her to move on. To live in the now. She said OK, but we know she was lying.

Jane asked Ryan to help her and Michael with financial planning. Michael was none too happy. Ryan suggested things like eating simply and no impulse buying. Michael said that's the only type of buying he does. Sounds like me. But that's where our similarities end. I'm a nice guy.

To get out of debt, Michael said he would take extra OR shifts and told Jane to work overtime. Um, salaried workers aren't entitled to overtime pay. And if they were, Amanda wouldn't pay it anyway.

Amanda arrived home to find Kyle drunk and blasting heavy metal music. When played backwards, "Amanda is the devil, Amanda is the devil," can be heard repeatedly.

She told him they have an appointment with the fertility specialist. He said he wanted to try to do it the natural way. She was disgusted that he was drunk and threw him off of her. His kung fu while intoxicated was no good. He needs lessons from the drunken master, Wong Fei-Hung.

The line of the week goes to Lexi. In describing her ideal man, she said, "He's gotta be handsome. He's gotta be smart. He's gotta be good in bed. No wait, he's gotta be good at sex. NOT in bed is better." My kind of gal!

Lexi assigned Megan the task of finding Mr. Right. She said Megan's been a great headhunter for the firm. (Huh, huh. She said "head." Huh, huh.) In exchange for finding a partner for her, Lexi said she'll make Megan a partner and add her name to the company. Sterling Conway Lewis. Just who is this Conway guy anyway?

Ryan asked Amanda what was wrong with Kyle. He said he hadn't seen Kyle this dark since he ran off and joined the Marines. This might be a good time to re-enlist. If the Iraqis continue to intrude into the no-fly zone, Clinton might send in the troops.

Kyle went to NYC to scout a new act to play at the Club. While there, he should take a drive across the Hudson River to the Meadowlands and scout Bill Parcells. Bill does a mean "Kumbaya."

Kyle ran out of the anti-depressants that Peter prescribed. He called Peter and asked him to phone in a prescription to his hotel. Peter said no. Kyle was pissed. I thought he would smash his cell phone. He didn't.

He just threatened to switch doctors when he gets home. Does he really want to do that? Since there are only two doctors in LA, that would mean he'd have to confide in Michael.

Michael took Jane out to a $625 dinner and charged it to the Burns/Mancini corporate credit card. When Peter confronted Michael about the bill, he said he was flat broke and needed a little pick-me-up. He said they had some good wine. For $625, I hope they had a lot of it.

After watching the band perform, Kyle went to the manager, Rikki, to book them for the Upstairs. Rikki said his "boys is the dopest." Which sounded pretty dopey coming from a white guy. Kyle invited Rikki and the band to his hotel suite to discuss the deal.

A full-on party was going on in his suite when Kyle went into the bedroom to call Amanda to explain to her where he be. She heard Rikki and two groupies enter the room when Kyle abruptly hangs up.

Now comes THE scene. The girls and Rikki began to grope. Rikki passed Kyle a bag of pills and tried to talk him into popping one. He did. Then he watched as the girls made a Rikki sandwich. Pretty kinky.

If he thought he was impotent, he should jump everything that moves. After all, he wouldn't have to worry about getting the girl pregnant. But then again, there is the little matter of STDs such as AIDS, syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia and the ever-so-popular crabs.

Under the guise of a marketing research project, Megan asked Ryan where she could find rich, eligible men. Ryan said such men work out at the gym where he plays basketball. She asked to tag along. He asked whether she wanted to play. She said she just wanted to watch. Pretty kinky.

Michael saved the life of some rich guy, Perry Hutchins. To show his gratitude, Hutchins gave Michael a Ferrari. Jane suggested that they sell it to pay their laywer bills. Michael said you can't put a monetary value to the car. Oh, yes you can. And it should be plenty enough to pay their bills.

Kyle wrote Rikki a check as an advance for his band to play the the Jazz Club. He said it was from his house fund and that Amanda would have a fit if she found out. Rikki said mum's the word. You just know that he's going to tell Amanda eventually.

Amanda told Peter she was upset that Kyle went to New York. Peter suggested she go there to bring him back. From this, she figured that Peter knew something was wrong with Kyle. Brilliant deduction, Sherlock.

So she went to see Ryan and told him that she would be accompanying him on his business trip. Guess where? You got it, to NYC. What a coincidence! That's just where Kyle happens to be.

They arrived at Kyle's suite just as the two groupies were leaving. What perfect timing. Suspecting the worst, Amanda pounded on the door. Thinking he slept with the groupies, Amanda smacked him silly again then bolted.

Kyle explained to Ryan that he didn't know who the chicks were. That a whole bunch of people were in his suite partying. And that he drank too much and passed out. I hate when that happens.

Michael went to see Hutchins. Hutchins told Michael that if he invested $100,000 dollars with him, he could turn it into $1,000,000. It was a sure thing. But Michael said he lacked the funds. Duh! He could sell the Ferrari for it.

Ryan caught up with Amanda at the client and asked her to meet with Kyle so he could explain the situation. She said all he would say was that he didn't have sex and then she would have to figure out what his definition of sex was. That line was straight from the Clinton files.

Michael walked in on Peter reviewing the hospital's finances on his iMac. Michael told Peter that a patient was waiting for him. So Peter rushed off and asked Michael to shut down the computer for him. Michael did so, but not before noticing there was $100,000 in the Children's Charity. Funny how the computer was never on Peter's desk until it played a part in a storyline.

Megan completed her questionnaire to determine the perfect guy for Lexi. She asked Ryan to fill it out. Now why would she want to see if her dream guy was compatible with Lexi? You just know that he's gonna be.

Kyle arrived home to find a bag outside the door. I presuming that Amanda packed up his stuff. He ain't got much stuff. I pack more for a two week vacation.

Anyway, Kyle said nothing happened in NYC. I guess she believed him. She said whatever happened occured before he went to the Big Apple. She locked the sucker out.

That's it for this week.

Tune in next week for "I Married a Jock Murderer." As always, I have the spoiler posted on my site, http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/4616/.

Also new there is People Magazine's coverage of Alyssa Milano's wedding. Included is a picture of the groom, Cinjun. If you ask me, he looks pretty gruesome. So I guess there's hope for me yet.

'Til next week...

Stan


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