�Gulp!� went the goldfish in the lounging room. �Oh me Oh my, my, my.� The blackboard is dusty and dark, the carpet blue and stained. The typewriter went click, click, click. Brown bags of chocolate pudding spilling out of flowing rivers. The pencil sharpener flipped over and roared, the gears chewed at the wooden legs.
�I�m thirsty, I want some sprite. That girl over there has a whole liter of it, why can�t I have any?� asked the cod faced crab.
�Gulp! Gulp!� went the goldfish. The sprite growing smaller and smaller.
Locked up in the tall cabinets were herds of tissues tied with blue zipties. The lights are fluorescent and cast pale halos around the honor students, the rest are in darkness.
�Nevermore,� came the voice over the loud speaker, �Nevermore will schools exist in portables and smelly slobs for lunch.� Dr. Allen the new president repeated his warning three more times, then re-phrased in different words, for ten more.
Because Wisconsin is near Minnesota, there are many cheese factories hence the title of back stabber. Cheese, very sharp cheese, can metaphorically speaking stab people very well. Swiss cheese doesn�t do it quite as well as cheddar. But African cheese, now that is the absolute best cheese for stabbing people. Its got this extra super sharp packaging that is harder than nails and tougher than dynamite. (And dynamite is pretty tough.) So as you can see Wisconsin is the perfect place to adapt too. All you need is cheese, lots and lots of cheese. You�ll fit right in.
�He he he�� said the duck. Of the lake. �Oh No! the sky is falling! The sky is falling! What ever shall we do?!�
�Enter my Kingdom, where all shall perish and non shall live� cried the goose. Of the farm. �Thou shallt never have to worry about skies ever again.�
�Oh No, no, no! We must get to safer ground, the place where the tall rushes grow and the birds hoot and tweet and the rabbits jump in night as well as day.�
�But you shall never find such a place, it doesn�t exist and never will exist. Why who ever heard of such thing as a rabbit? But my kingdom! Ah! Tis twice as better. Thou shall never have to be fed, never bathe, never walk, nor jump, nor�.�
�Well I suppose I could visit your kingdom you speak so proudly of, but I must venture on to find this fabled place of rabbits. The dragonfly, he said he saw a rabbit before. And I believe HIM. HE never lies.� And so the duck climbed out of the lake and waddled after the goose, up and over the gravel path and through the bushes to the stables where the goose promised to stop and rest a while.
�I thought you said we would never have to walk again?� queried the duck.
�Ah, but did I not mention that it was in my kingdom that such fanciful things happen? We haven�t gotten there quite yet. But don�t worry tis only over this next hill and around the bend. We shall soon be able to see my palace of wipper willows.�
�All intermediates! Over here!� The young lady in charge had her hand raised to the heavens. �This way please! No running!� A stampede of adolescent chickens tore down the small lane. All that was left were the pickled torpedoes. The dust from thousands of tiny feet choked the chimneys and clogged drains. No-one dared go outside for fear of the dust, it was everywhere. Anything not tied down with heavy chains was whisked away in the dust storm.
�Events of this nature haven�t happened here since the tornado of �92� said the old wrinkled man buckled to his rocking chair. He leaned back and put his feet up on the rail, a piece of straw dangling from the filter on his gas mask. He watched the roadrunners race in circles, their wings dipped in chocolate tofu. They picked at the pickled torpedoes with their scaly beaks scavenging for golden coins.
The dust had already begun to settle, covering the world with a gritty texture of pink daffodils. A band of glorious red roosters were warming up on a hill in the open country near the town�s border. Their flamboyant feathers were just visible on the horizon, glowing with the fire of their feast. The pickled torpedoes they ate gave them the appearance of sun gods. A spectacular nutrient contained in the seeds was what they hunted every other day through the town streets.
A young man wearing red tights and a long overcoat stepped into the lane down central avenue. It ran straight for miles, with a clear view of the hills on either side. He raised his hand above his head and called out.
�All advanced students! Over here! This way please! No running!�