~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ok well I have a lot to say and then nothing at all my world is filled with these thoughts and Ideas but in the end the world keeps going and life keeps on proceeding I am happy with what I have and wish some times I had a lot more but in the end that is life and living and I am here to say no more.. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I wish I could say words that are within my mind, yet if they only did exit of my mouth how foolish they would appear to me. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Life is a trap that slowly closes its clenching grasp around you and your thought and mind with-out freedom leaving you to your empty world ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ lonely dreamer in the highway in the sky ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dream; that in the mind longing to be free... Dying; to be allowed to live and be a part of life... that which is important; freeing the soul and allowing love to exist. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ NO ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ when there is some one that you know then just let your feelings show ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ it is me and you... kind of slipped ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dream on dreamer let your dreams take you to places you have never been before. May your dreams allow you to fly higher then ever and may your life be one filled with love. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I also had another Idea but that kind of was one of those of which was never meant to be said. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ And Then It Ends ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ a smile is but all I really need ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ For what am I a person living life and existing doing nothing to quench my thirst in life and living yet for what it is all but my fault not following my dreams and allowing my heart to be free ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Painful Words That Bite at the Soul call to the mind and Stop only with Death ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Idea of Freedom OH how it would be if the mind was so truly free and the world was as it should be that the ideas that are in the mind would be truly and forever to be set free not allowed to burn within the mind... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I wish I was not such an idiot some times, just sometimes.... i-eee ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ how I wish there was no FEAR.. how I wish I could be a fish how I wish the world is a dish how I wish there were no more tears how I wish my heart was free from me how i wish i could fall in love how i wish for a hug how i wish for some one there how i wish for some one to care how I wish the world was so different how i wish for my loneliness again how i wish for someone to stop loving me how I wish for the worlds renew how I wish for the change of ideas how i wish i could not feel how i wish things would heal how I wish for an empty mind how I wish for nothing to bind how i wish for the end and yet how I wish for it to start over again. ~~~~~~how I wish~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Always Dreaming and yet never ending.... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ to the lost soul tell him that there is no other way find it follow the one in your heart and over all within your dreams follow those dreams until the "river" is dry and the winds do rage till there is nothing more to follow within his heart and his soul shall return and his life will be more then he had ever dreamed of forever that is his destiny... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ok so what in the world is happening? to every one and why in the world? did I hear a beep. is everything ok. well I am bit tired, and I should get up and get dressed? but that is not wrong to say? I should just go back to sleep, but if I only could just? shrug... oh well life and it is all good? that is that? shrug... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ what is the best way to pay for things in life? If you pay with your heart it will always hurts you... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ And in the end the questions are the answers and the answers are the questions. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I dont know sorry, for calling, and bothering, kind of did, not mean, to do that, oh well I am sorry about that and sorry about bothering you. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Tomorrow? oh well I give up on things and living and live and well that is all that I can truly say, nothing else going on in this crappy life, and living and well that is all about it... tell you the truth yea right sure that is what I think and living is life and being is existence and all that is all nothing goes River runs dry tell you the truth... and that is the end. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Old Boring life ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Oh how I would say hello and tell you how are you doing yet you give me nothing in return so how I give you that which you have given me but I shall not! I give you my heart yet you give me nothing back that is life and living you are what you are and yet you are nothing so there. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ This old boring life that I led nothing ever happens for it never ever has that is me I return to nothing and that is it for me ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ OR WHAT???????????? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Just look in to your heart my friend and that will be the return to innocence.. Just believe in destiny.... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ode to the believers of thoughts ideas, and feelings of the heart may they always be allowed to follow these free souls and may there passion lead them to lives never lived before. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ To love, Oh you vicious little creature you you a little Leo with your filled heart your fangs that bite deeply into my soul your true self touching me, but never getting close dream sweet happy dreams filled with joy and love my thoughts are with you and my heart for you have granted me what is most important without even knowing it hope........ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I have know to be myself some times and then at others I appear to be something that I am not... now I wonder to myself who I am now. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ To the foolish ideas in the mind, -ah now I have found you vicious enemy you hid beneath everything seeking your self into me your devious plan attacking secretly, your shifty eyes slowly creeping in for the kill your swift paw jolts for the attack as you pounce your way on top of things attacking suddenly with a heart set to kill. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I have tried, everything you know.. and it still looks as if, it is going to go no where, tell you the truth... no matter what I've done, it appears as if it has gone no where.. from start to finish... I could easily give up, like, I know how, but, to me, giving up? is the wrong thing to do, as always.. so what am I suppose to do??? I don't know. some things have come up, is that fate or destiny? calling to me? allowing life, My life, to be led this way?? you tell me?? but I do know, I've tried, full heatedly, and it appears, as if, Nothing. will come from it.. I do not give up! I continue on, yet, that is life and living.. no matter what I do I am doomed to the end. to live like this???? to continue along, with everything, where as if, nothing really matters, when in all actually it did??? where is my heart? It's in me! where are my feelings? within my heart! where is my happiness? in my feelings! where I am? I exist.. and so let it be. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I have seen I have seen the tears in your eyes I have seen the fears in your smiles I have seen the worry of your mind I have seen the glory of the kind I have seen the hour of splendor I have seen the lower of tender I have seen the tornment of tambour I have seen the reign of no remember I have seen the tears that fade away I have seen the fears that are here to stay I have seen the years come and go I have seen the peers that would not let go I have seen the power of the word and I have seen the power of the bird I have seen the lover and his heart I have seen the lover being apart I have seen the lover with no heart I have seen the skies filled with dreams I have seen the lies of all it seems I have seen the wails and deceit I have seen the trails and defeat I have seen the balance of the power I have seen it all within the hour I have seen the thoughts in my mind I have seen that which they bind I have seen what I felt and felt what I seen I have seen what is in my heart so I have seen the word, lonely forever it seems. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Don't ever let one the ones that you love ever let go. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ There is often to much feelings in the world all of them come from the heart so is it this the heart an evil thing or is it more much more? Friday, January 16, 1998 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Inside myself always looking for something out-side never seeing what is trutly inside seeing that which is not. wanting more than that for I have seen myself empty.. truly the words only that do fit me are Happy-Sad Me forever truly madly that must be. Friday, January 16, 1998 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Always looking, Always trying Always hoping, Always dying Always crying, Always sighing Always here, Always there Always anyway, Friday, January 16, 1998 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I burnt my tonug so what I've done The tears that I've cried The years that I've lied All kept inside with in my own mind The time that I lost the words did not say all in my heart all for today the farther apart the close of my heart the pain of my soul my world fell apart the day that you left so did my heart All that I see echoes you and me Now that I seen what is reality all that I've said rambles thought my head but all that I need is just to let go ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ These are to be just my thoughts and nothing more it should only be taken in that manner... Thoughts are the key to the soul yet thoughts are nothing at times thoughts are of the heart and of the clouds thoughts are free the spirit and kill the mind thoughts bind me to myself.. and these are them... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~