It all spells NFL

Don Amore

American Football
First published July 19 in the Hartford Courant.

Remember when the Broncos upset the Packers, Steelers, Chiefs and Raiders to win the Superbowl? And was it only six months ago?
 

 

The NFL has been out of sight and out of mind since Super Bowl XXXII.

Ron Francis is back, sort of.

Mark McGwire, Juan Gonzalez and the Yankees are chasing records.

The Red Sox could exact a century's worth of revenge in one seven-game series with the Yankees in October.

The Secret Service is no longer secret.

Yesss, Marv Albert is back on the air.

France won the World Cup - with absolutely no help from the United States or its allies.

Admit it, you have been too consumed by the frenetic pace of world events to keep up with the NFL. You may remember John Elway being carried off the field, Bill Romanowski thumbing his nose at the Packers and the miracle cure for Terrell Davis' migraine. Vaguely, wasn't there something about Reggie White sounding like Archie Bunker, then retiring and unretiring? Oh, and something about TV and money?

But basically, the NFL has been out of sight and out of mind since Super Bowl XXXII.

We understand. And we're here to help, with our second annual ABCs of the NFL. (And for the right price, we would consider calling it the NBCs or TNTs.) Training camps begin this week - by Saturday, the Giants, Jets and Patriots will all be pouring sweat, tears, ice, Powerade and Creatine in hopes of mixing a championship smoothie.

There's no need to parachute in. Here is a quick refresher on what has happened since, and what could happen hence in pro football:

Arizona, have you heard? This is going to be the year the Cardinals do something. Absolutely. No doubt. They mean it this time.

Brunner, Scott. He is the quarterback Bill Parcells chose over Phil Simms in 1983. Now it's Glenn Foley for the Jets. A broken clock is right twice a day; can a brilliant coach be wrong twice a generation?

Chan Gailey is the new coach who is supposed to turn the Cowboys around. It's short for Chandler, not chance, which is what Jerry Jones is taking on an unknown.

 

This is going to be the year the Cardinals do something. They mean it this time.

DeBerg, Steve. He is back at 44 as a backup quarterback for the Falcons. Apparently, it takes about 20 years in the league to really learn Dan Reeves' offense.

Enough time for ex-Cowboys coordinators Dave Wannstedt, in his sixth year with the Bears, and Norv Turner, in his fifth with the Redskins. Playoffs or bust for both.

Flutie, Doug. He's back in the NFL. He'll back up Rob Johnson for now. But if you have ``the first quarter of the first game,'' you're favored to win the ``when the first chants for Flut-ie start in Buffalo'' pool.

Greenbacks. Playing one network against the other, the NFL raked in $17 billion, money that will keep everybody, owner and player alike, happy for at least a month.

Homer Jones, the last Giants wide receiver to play in a Pro Bowl. That was in 1968, 30 years ago.

Ike Hilliard, the next Giants wide receiver to play in the Pro Bowl.

Junk food. Nate Newton of the Cowboys has given it up and, supposedly, is under 300 pounds for the first time since fifth grade.

Kickoff returns. What we want to see the Giants' Jason Sehorn doing.

Leverage. Until we see otherwise, that's what we assume Robert Kraft is after in his latest flirt with Connecticut.

Middle matchups. Teams scrambled to sign offensive guards and defensive tackles this off- season, hoping to get the upper hand in the quarterbacks' faces.

Never. If you have ``never,'' you are favored to win the ``when the first `we want Dave Brown' chants are heard in Arizona'' pool.

 

Most teams have a "quality control" coach now, and we've yet to figure out just what he does.

O The number of halfback option passes the Jets should have in their game plans this year.

Personnel. The yen to control it has bitten Mike Holmgren, who figures to leave Green Bay for Seattle or San Francisco, which will be under new management, after this season.

Quality control. Most teams have a ``quality control'' coach now, and we've yet to figure out just what he does. Something to do with breaking down film, we're told.

Real grass. Giants Stadium will keep it for exhibition games, and should make it permanent.

Sofa. Barry Switzer (``You tell me, just what's an unloaded gun good for?'') is back where he belongs.

Turmoil. The 49ers have avoided it for a lot of years, but with a far from proven head coach, free agent defections, lame-duck management and struggle for ownership, Team Stability has wandered into Melrose Place.

Underrated. Patriots linebacker Ted Johnson is at the head of this list.

Velcro. Reggie White needs to put some on his lips - at least for a while.

Wiretap. Wouldn't you just love to listen in when either Bill Parcells or Dan Reeves calls George Young at the league office to complain about rules or officiating?

X-Factor. That is Panthers quarterback Kerry Collins. If he mends the fences with teammates he has offended, Carolina will be in position to win the NFC West.

Yancey Thigpen, another free agent the Steelers couldn't hold, is now in Tennessee to give Steve McNair a real target.

Zimmerman, Gary. The Broncos left tackle has retired again. But if Terrell Davis gets stuffed enough, and John Elway gets floored much more, look for another midseason comeback.


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This page updated August 29, 1998
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