Sunday, 14 March - Mothering Sunday

The Labour Party refuses to comment on reports that a MP was at a massage parlour when it was raided by vice squad officers last October. "We have no comment to make," says a spokeswomin to our reporter, who then hears a whip cracking and some shrieking before the line goes dead.

Another scandal rocks boxing. A World Heavyweight "Unification" bout between WBA champ Lennox Lewis and WBC/IBF leader Evander Holyfield is controversially adjudged a draw. Independent observers agree that Lewis has done quite enough to defeat his opponent. Rumours abound of a fix by lead promoter Don King and his massive hair. A rematch appears inevitable.
Christchurch (day 4): South Africa 442/1 (Gibbs 211*, Kallis 148*; a SA record 315 for the second wicket) Lead is 274
Dhaka (day 3): Pakistan 549 (Inzamam 200*, Ijaz 213, Chandana 6/91) Pakistan's lead is 363

Saturday, 13 March

A petrol bomb attack kills 12 in a shopping centre in Istanbul. The bomb's thrown into the middle of a crowd; responsibility is believed to lie with a radical left-wing group, but may be with Kurdish separatists.
The House and Senate take up similar hate crime laws designed to create injustices and martyrs, and make more difficult state and local police battles agains racial, religious and ethnic violence, as well as violence motivated by disability, sexual orientation or gender. The Hate Crimes Prevention Bill of 1999 in the House has 118 co-sponsors; a Senate introduction is expected Monday, with 31 co-sponsors already signed on.

Dhaka (day 2): Pakistan 299/2 (Ijaz 118*, Inzamam 77*) Pakistan lead by 68
Christchurch (day 3): South Africa 247/1 (Gibbs 113*) SA lead by 77
Kingston, 2nd Test: Australia 256 (S Waugh 100, M Waugh 67, Walsh 4/55) West Indies 37/4 (Joseph 14, McGrath 3/28) WI trail by 219
Man United and Arsenal pace each other, with wins at Newcastle and Everton. Chelsea lose ground with a 1-0 home defeat by West Ham; Leeds are pushing them hard for third place after winning 2-0 at Sheffield Wednesday.

Friday, 12 March

World-famous violinist Lord (Sir) Yehudi Menuhin dies at the age of 82. An official at the Yehudi Menuhin School in southern England reports the musician's daughter called them to say he had died in Berlin. Menuhin was a child prodigy who fulfilled his promise to become one of the world's foremost violinists before extending his range to teaching and conducting.

The US Air Force gears up for its March Madness bombing raids. The Western Conference is led by General Wesley Clark, who tells Yugoslav President Slobodan Milosevic that he has a "vast air armada" ready to strike if Belgrade continues to block peace negotiations on Kosovo. Over in the Eastern Conference, Captain Manning Brown heads a team operating out of Incirlik, Turkey. They've made about 30 strikes against Iraqi targets over the past eleven weeks.
Congressional Republicans pounce gleefully on Al Gore's claim that he was the impetus behind the Internet. The Democrat is accused of rewriting history. Said House majority leader Dick Armey, "If the vice-president created the Internet, then I created the interstate highway system."

Curtis Joseph stops 41 shots as the Toronto Maple Leafs beat the New York Islanders 2-1. Sergei Berezin and Derek King score for the Maple Leafs, who are now five points from Northeast Division leaders Ottawa.
Christchurch (day 2): South Africa 229/1 (Gibbs 101*, Kirsten 65) SA lead by 61
Dhaka: Asian Test Final: Sri Lanka 231 (Arshad Khan 5/38, de Silva 72) Pakistan 33/0 trailing by 198

Thursday, 11 March

German Finance Minister Oskar Lafontaine resigns. The minister, appointed as recently as October, is quitted after a huge row with Chancellor Gerhard Schroder. This is good news for NuLabour's attempts to take Britain into Euroland, as Lafontaine is an unreconstructed interventionist.

Another game, another loss for the LA Clippers, who tie the NBA record for futility at the start of a season. Shaquille O'Neal has 31 points and 13 rebounds as the shorthanded Los Angeles Lakers roll to a 94-75 victory over the winless Clippers, who lose their 17th straight game. The Clippers tie the unenviable record set by the Miami Heat, who lost the first 17 games of the 1988-89 season.
Christchurch, 2nd test, day 1: New Zealand 168 (Astle 44, Pollock 4/34, Donald 3/54) South Africa 54/0 (Kirsten 35*)

Wednesday, 10 March

Riot police force striking civil servants away from federal office buildings with Alsatians, clubs and pepper spray, after a demonstration turns ugly. Two men are arrested, including one who has a "puncture wound". Ottawa-Carleton police, including 26 riot squaddies, are ready and waiting at the same government office complex where three previous peaceful demonstrations took place.
The Red Cross proposes a trust fund to compensate hepatitis C victims excluded from a federal-provincial compensation deal last year. Basic elements of the proposal would see Ottawa give $300 million in cash to be shared by around 20,000 victims.
The US government risks alienating itself on the global stage if it must play the bully in trade disputes, according to Canada's Trade Minister Sergio Marchi. He hopes United Statian officials won't publish a list of trade sanctions in retaliation over Canada�s proposed magazine legislation, as it already has in its trade spat with the European Union over bananas.

Tuesday, 9 March

A Federal Court judge rejects a request to combine two environmental reviews of Inco's nickel development at Voisey�s Bay. Justice Andrew MacKay rules the federal Public Works Ministry can put the project�s smelting and refining plans through one environmental assessment without including the more basic mining and milling processes.
Bigger cities are safer than smaller ones, but largely because they are home to fewer accidental deaths. Toronto, Ottawa, Montreal and Halifax all rank among the safest communities when the per capita rates of unnatural deaths - both intentional and unintentional - that occurred between 1994 and 1996 were measured in 24 urban centres. However, the safest city is St. John�s. Mayor Andy Wells said "Wells, that's obvious. Per capita, you're less likely to be hit by a falling cod here than anywhere else in the world."
The British Finance Statement is made by Chancellor Gordon Brown. He goes for the populist measure, cutting the prime income tax rate by 1% to 22%, and the lower band from 20% to 10%. There's more money to go into schools, healthcare and education. But taxes for petrol, cigarettes, pensions and savings will go up, allowing the UK national debt to be cut by around 10 billion pounds. While it's received very well, many analysts suspect that this will be a budget that keeps the lid on the economy, while providing a brief - but needed - short-term boost.

Monday, 8 March - International Women's Day; Commonwealth Day

London's North Circular Road is closed by a burst water main. The explosive leak completely fills a 15 foot high tunnel, and turns the Hangar Lane Gyratory System into the Hangar Lake Overblown Roundabout. Traffic through West London flows even better than usual.

Port of Spain (day 4): Australia 261 (Warne 25, Walsh 4/67) West Indies 51 (McGrath 5/28, Gillespie 4/18 Jacobs 19) West Indies lose by 312 runs, their 6th straight defeat; they now play England for the World's Worst Test Team.
Lahore (day 5): No play: rain Match drawn

Joe di Maggio, star baseball player, 84. di Maggio was one of the superstar Yankees of the early 1950s, who holds the record of hitting safely for 62 straight games. Off-field, he's best known as a husband of Marilyn Monroe, and part of Simon and Garfunkel's Mrs Robinson.

Sunday, 7 March

Stanley Kubrick dies at the age of 70. The director was the driving force behind Spartacus, Lolita, Dr Strangelove, 2001 and A Clockwork Orange.

Glen Clark, the embattled BC Premier, is set to resign, according to a newspaper report. The Vancouver Sun suggests that the NDP leader, raided by police earlier in the week, will quit next week for the good of the party.

Lahore (day 4) Pakistan 314/8 (Waratullah 121*, Baratilake 2/54) Sri Lanka 60/0 SL need another 325 to win.
Port of Spain (day 3): West Indies 167 (McGrath 5/50) Australia 227/7 (Slater 106, Adams 2/29) Australia lead by 329
Chelsea and Man United draw 0-0 in a bad-tempered match; the winner will face Arsenal. Newcastle win the day's other match, beating Everton 4-1. They'll play Barnsley or Spurs.

Saturday, 6 March

Many men have had love affairs with their cars. Buster Mitchell wants to make it official. Jilted by his girlfriend, Mitchell wants to marry his true love - a 1996 Mustang GT. "I�ve been broken-hearted and hung out to dry, so I am going to the courthouse and try to marry my car," Mitchell said before attempting to get a marriage licence. But officials in Pensylvania say no; while the car is capable of offering informed consent, Buster is clearly insane.

Wales score a historic win over France in Paris. In the European Rugby Championship, they hold on to score a 34-33 victory, their first in France for 24 years. This ends French hopes of an unprecedented third straight Grand Slam. In the other match, England win 25-15 in Ireland.
Lahore (day 3): Sri Lanka 328 (Arnold 123, Karaitharana 100, Wasim Akram 4/30 including a hat-trick; Saqlain 4/86) Pakistan 149/0 (Waratullah 61*, Shahid Ahmed 81*) Pakistan lead by 219
Port of Spain (day 2): Australia 269 (Blewett 58, Ambrose 3/35, Walsh 3/60) West Indies 167/9 (Lara 62, Joseph 50, McGrath 4/50, MacGill 3/41) Australia lead by 102
Arsenal book their place in the last four of the FA Cup after sneaking a 1-0 win over Derby, scoring with just three minutes of play left.

Friday, 5 March - St Pirrin's Day

The banana trade dispute worsens. The US ambassador to London is carpeted twice by the Foreign Office within 24 hours, a record for any nation during the 90s. United Statesion Foreign Secretary Madeline Gonnabeallright is parachuted to London to smooth relations - under the sanctions, US airlines must pay $2500 fines if they land in the EU.

Toy Bair warns that Scottish families will pay an extra 30 pounds a week if Labour wins the Scottish Parliament vote in May. Bair, campaigning in Edinburgh, warns there will be no computers in schools nor teachers in schools. After the shambolic speech, the PM sacked half his personal staff. Reports from Moscow that President Yeltsin was missing could not be confirmed at press time.

The Toronto Maple Leafs break a 43-year-old franchise record for futility, yet win in a rout. Curtis Joseph has 28 saves as the Maple Leafs blanked the St. Louis Blues 4-0 despite managing just nine shots on goal. Ottawa coach Jacques Martin explains the Senators� record-setting 5-0 victory over slumping Philadelphia. "We created some turnovers and we had a great game from our best player." Alexei Yashin scores three and Damian Rhodes his 10th career shutout.
Lahore (day 2): Pakistan 398 (Wamullah 133, Yousuf 83, Wickmasinghe 6/103) Sri Lanka 189/4 (Arnold 81*) Sri Lanka trail by 209; if they score 111 in the next 51.4 overs, they make the final.
Port of Spain, First Test: Australia 174/6 (Elliot 44, Blewett 43*, Walsh gets 400th wicket)

Lord Denning, the groundbreaking judge, passes away at 100. Denning championed the small person in a 35 year career on the bench, and piloted through womens' and other equality causes.

Thursday, 4 March

A battle over bananas between the United States and Europe turns nastier as the United States tells importers that they're now liable for hefty penalty tariffs on $520 million worth of European goods. If allowed to stand, the tariffs - illegal under World Trade Organisation rules - of 100 percent on items such as German coffee makers, French handbags and Scottish cashmere would double their price. The action comes while the US appeals to the WTO over EU restrictions on banana imports; a decision is expected in two weeks.
The rules of engagement for the US and UK against Iraq have changed, according the British defence sources. The new rules are that pilots can attack any installation or sand formation that they think might be harmful, without provocation.

Quarter finals of the Cup Winners' Cup: Lokomotiv Moscow 3, Maccabi Haifa 0; Panionios 0, Lazio 3; Varteks 0, Real Mallorca 0; Chelsea 3, Valerenga 0.
Lahore, Asian Champs (day 1): Pakistan 192/3 (Wasti 80*, Wickmasinghe 3/61)

Wednesday, 3 March

The World Court writes to the USA, vainly urging it to stop the judicial murder of a German-born convicted killer while judges consider considering a complaint brought by Germany. Germany petitioned the United Nations' highest court on Tuesday, arguing US justice authorities were guilty of procedural errors in the case against Walter LaGrand, and in violation of an international treaty on consular relations. But hours later, Arizona governor Jane Hull cleared the way for the execution, which takes place within hours.

Police raid BC Premier Glen Clark�s home in an investigation of the granting of a charity casino licence to a North Burnaby hotel. Clark refuses to comment on the case. "I�ll make a comment later. I�ll talk later. I can�t, I can�t talk. I�ll have a full thing later. I�m not worried in the slightest."
Even before the first snow flakes hit, airlines announce plans to cancel more than one-third of morning flights. "There's 6 inches of snow predicted and we�re being pro-active in terms of preserving the operation," said airport representative Nicole Couture-Simard. Air Canada resumed flights into Toronto as normal later in the day. Reports that British airports would take a leaf out of the Canadian's book next time it snows were confirmed.

The Detroit Pistons hand the Chicago Bulls their worst ever loss at the United Center, winning 108-78. The previous low was an 18-point loss to Philadelphia only last week.
AucklandNew Zealand 244/3 (Horne 60, Twose 65, Astle 69*) Match dies of boredom with SA still leading by 25.
Quarter finals of the European Cup: Manchester United 2, Inter Milan 0; Real Madrid 0, Dynamo Kiev 0; Juventus 2, Panathaniakos 1; Borussia Dortmund 2, Bayern Munich 1.

Singer Dusty Springfield, whose cool, husky voice drove hits such as Son of a Preacher Man and You Don't Have to Say You Love Me, dies after a long battle with breast cancer. She was 59. "She was one of the icons of the music industry," according to her agent. "She was one of the most talented female singers of this century."

Jerry Springer evokes the memory of a princess in defending his TV talk show, which often erupts into pay-per-view boxing between guests. Diana, the Trollope of Wales (dead), was just as cheap and tacky as the plebs featured on The Jerry Springer Show, and they're all as worthy of contempt, he said during a debate at the Oxford Union.

Tuesday, 2 March

Eight foreign tourists are killed and five others rescued as Ugandan army troops shoot it out with Rwandan rebels. The terrorists kidnapped Western holidaymakers in an isolated border region, in an attempt to bring world attention to the claimed injustices inflicted on their ethnic group in neighbouring Rwanda.

Lawyers for the government at the APEC enquiry are being paid much more than the legal aid maximum, while just three representatives for the students attacked by pepper-spraying police are funded at the standard rate.

Auckland (day 4): New Zealand 352 (Horne 92, Harris 68*, Allot 0 in 101 mins, the longest ever completed duck) - trailing by 269, so following on 4/0 265 still needed to make SA bat again

Monday, 1 March

Retired general Olusegun Obasanjo is elected as Nigeria's new president. Obasanjo will be Nigeria's first civilian leader after 15 years of military rule. Allegations of vote-rigging cast a shadow on the final step in the West African nation's long-awaited return to civilian rule, and aides to former Finance Minister Olu Falae, Obasanjo's opponent, said Falae will contest the results.

A lawyer for the man at the centre of the no-means-no sexual assault case will ask the Supreme Court of Canada for a hearing to consider new information. "There's some evidence that the Supreme Court did not have before it that might affect the decision as to whether or not this man should be allowed the benefit of a trial," lawyer Brian Beresh said. After reaching for the Legalese to English phrasebook, we reckon he thinks his client should have yet another day in court. He said the new information wasn�t available during the original trial but refused to describe the nature of it.
The National Council of Women of Canada files a complaint over the behaviour of Alberta Justice John McClung. He sharply criticized a Supreme Court of Canada decision that voided his ruling on a sexual assault case. The council, representing 50 women�s groups across Canada, files a complaint with the Canadian Judicial Council expressing "extreme concern" about McClung who singled out Supreme Court Justice Claire L�Heureux-Dube for his dubious attentions.
Prince Charles eats beef from the bone, as does this week's Welsh Secretary. The foodstuff is banned in the UK, over spurious health concerns and a desire by the government to be seen to do something vaguely related to food safety.

Auckland (day 3): South Africa 621/5 (Cullinan 275* - it's SA's second highest ever total) New Zealand 205/2 (Horne 92*, Donald 2/33) The Kiwis are still 217 from saving the follow-on.