Weaver's News Spin

July 1998

A review of events and their interpretation.  
Friday, 31 July
Traffic chaos in Birmingham after two sheep escape from a butcher in the city centre. The wooly fleecers first stop at a photographers, to get a picture of their day out taken. Then they stop at the Alex to book tickets for the baalet, and for the forthcoming production of Baatholemew Fair. Headed for the jumper section of C&A, the two cut through the Queensway tunnels, where they're arrested by police after they overtake the stationary traffic on the inside. Officer Ewean Kerr said that the two would face no charges, after their hoofprints showed they weren't behind a recent series of ram raids.
 
Thursday, 30 July
President Clintern will give "voluntary testimony" to Independent Counsel Ken Starr at the White House on August 17. The testimony will be videotaped with Clinton lawyers present. The arrangement is "an effort to achieve prompt resolution of this entire matter." In exchange for his testimony, the subpoena that had been served to Clinton will be withdrawn.

Hoping to cash in on the Internet, two tiny islands off the African coast hope to boost their economies by selling unique Web addresses. Ascension Island and St. Helena are offering for sale World Wide Web addresses that use the two-letter suffixes assigned to the islands, "ac" and "sh." Each address costs roughly $60 to $100. The normal export of the islands, which combined are just over 1/15th the size of Prince Edward Island, is frozen tuna.

Mike Tyson, visibly shaken and angry, curses under sharp questioning and refuses to deliver his prepared statement as he appeares before the New Jersey Athletic Control Board Wednesday, bidding to regain his license to box. Tyson was quizzed about his banishment from boxing after biting Evander Holyfield's ears during a bout last year. The board adjournes after hearing from Tyson's attorney and said will meet August 6, issuing its decision two days later.

 
Wednesday, 29 July - Chuck and Dead's 17th anniversary
High farce at the Tour de France. Last night, the Dutch TVM team were unceremoniously carted off by Albertville police, without eating, and didn't get to bed till gone 3. The riders go 32 km, stop, and world champion Laurent Jalabert leads his ONCE team out of the race. The crack Banesto squad of Abraham Olano and former champions Indurain and Delgado also pull out. The farce ends in Aix-les-Bains over two hours late.

Burmese opposition leader Aung San Suu Kyi and three companions are running out of food, and her health may be failing on the sixth day of a silent protest against government curbs on her travel, diplomats say. The government disputes the claim. The group was blocked Friday from traveling to meet supporters. The 1991 Nobel Peace Prize winner and her companions have since refused to budge from where the car was stopped or to discuss the government's request that she return to the capital.

 
Tuesday, 28 July
Monica Lewdwinsky will testify before a grand jury that she did umm President Clintern, but no-one asked that she lied about the matter. In return, persecuter Kenneth Starr has promised not to take any action against her.

Quarter finals of the One Day Trophy. At Old Trafford, Lancashire (255/4 - Atherton 76) beat Nottinghamshire (249/9 - Gallian 83, Chapple 5/57) by six wickets, with 13 balls in hand. Leicestershire (101/2) beat Warwickshire (98 ao - Mullally 5/18) by 8 wickets with 23.4 overs left.
Hampshire (295/5 - Aymes 73*, White 69) beat Middlesex (151 ao - Langer 57, Udal 2/11) by 144 runs. And Derbyshire (218/4 - Slater 82, Barnett 60) beat Surrey (217/7 - Martin Bicknell 48*) by 6 wickets with 31 balls left.

 
Monday, 27 July
Tony Blair reshuffles his cabinet. Minister of Domes Peter Meddlesome finally gets his seat at the Cabinet table, and becomes President Meddlesome of the Bored of Trade. Alistair Darling moves from the 4am shift at Spin Central to become Social Security Secretary. Stephen Byers moves from obscurity to Chief Secretary to the Treasury; so no changes there, then. Nick Brown enters the cabinet as Agriculture Minister. Harriet Harmless is the biggest casualty, dropped from the First XXII.

IOC president Juan Antonio Samaranch calls for drugs to be allowed if they don't harm atheletes' health. The cheat's charter is roundly condemned by all sides, except for a certain Italian watch manufacturer.

England don't lose a Test Match. Hussain makes 58, Atherton 98* and Alec Stewart 45* in 38 balls as England wrap up their win by mid-afternoon. It levels the series at 1-1, with one match to play. England (336 & 247/2) beat South Africa (374 & 208) by eight wickets.

 
Sunday, 26 July
British Telecom announces plans to link up with US communications giant AT&T. The deal, described as "not a full merger" will provide seamless global communication services to multinational companies, as operations outside the UK and USA will combine. The carrot for regulatory authorities in both countries is a reduction in costs, which would be passed to customers.

Mika Hakkinen wins the Austrian Grand Prix, from David Coulthard. Michael Schumaccer overcomes a drive through the gravel to finish third.

England bowl out South Africa for 208 - Fraser 5/62, Cork 4/60 sees Fraser take 10 wickets in the match. Cullinan makes 56, Cronje 67, and a lively 35 from Boucher makes a contest of it. Set 247 to win, England close on 108/1 - Atherton 43*, Hussain 25*, Butcher 22. England require another 139 to win, with nine wickets remaining.

 
Saturday, 25 July
A lone gunman kills two guards in Washington's Capitol building. President Clintern leads praise for the dead men. It's not believed the gunman has any links with any anti-government organisation.

A researcher finds that British beaches are too clean. Many councils, wanting to get "clean beach" awards, have been systematically removing algae and seaweed, on the grounds that it makes the place look untidy. But these are foods for many small animals, and their absence is having dramatic effects elsewhere on the food chain.

In the Fourth Test, England are bowled out for 336; Ramprakash 67*, debutante Flintoff 17, Allan Donald 5/109. England, trailing by 38, struck quickly in the South Africans' second innings, taking Kirsten, Liebenberg and Kallis cheaply. Cullinan and Cronje added 71 for the fourth wicket, closing on 92/3. South Africa lead by 130, with seven second innings remaining.

 
Friday, 24 July
Foreign Minister Keizo Obuchi wins the nomination of Japan's ruling party for prime minister Friday, taking a majority in a first ballot and a major step towards the helm of the country's slumping economy. Obuchi is virtually certain to win next week's election for prime minister in Parliament, replacing Ryutaro Hashimoto, because the LDP has a comfortable majority in the lower house.

Admission charges at top British museums will end, says Culture Secretary Chris Smith. The major cultural icons will get an extra 100 million pounds over three years, cash that will allow such institutions as the V&A and Science Museum to stop charging admission fees.

The tense Fourth Test continues. South Africa are bowled out for 374 before lunch - Cronje is out for 126, but Elworthy makes a worthy 48. Gus Fraser takes five wickets. Atherton and Butcher combine for an England record stand at the ground of 145 for the first wicket - Butcher 75, Athers 58, but the middle order is shaky and England close on 202/4. England trail South Africa by 172, with six first innings wickets left.

 
Thursday, 23 July
The Vancouver Aquarium launches an FM radio station. The only thing it plays is whale music. A microphone placed on the east coast of Vancouver Island picks up the sound of whales rubbing their bellies on beaches and frolicking in the surf. Orca FM (101.7 in the Vancouver area) is already a hit amongst locals, with the speech being more intelligable than the Rush Limbaugh show, and the music better than their local GWR station.

The reformist mayor of Tehran is sentenced to five years in prison on corruption charges in a case that has riveted Iranians and come to reflect the growing struggle for power between reformists and hard-liners in Iran's ruling clergy. In addition to the jail term, Gholamhossein Karbaschi is barred from holding public office for 20 years and sentenced to 60 lashes - the flogging suspended because of his social standing. He was also fined 1 million dinars - C$500,000.

Day 1 of the Fourth Test is finely split. South Africa are put into bat by England, and stutter to 26/2 before Kallis makes 47. The side are still in trouble at 196/5, but a spirited 113* from Cronje, and a doughty 50 from Pollock steers the Springboks away from humiliation. South Africa 302/7 versus England.

 
Wednesday, 22 July
The Blairite project to reform the Lords continues as the Upper Chamber votes on plans to lower the age of consent for homosexual males. The Commons voted by an overwhelming majority to reduce it from 18 to 16 last month. The Lords tonight vote overwhelmingly to throw out that amendment, drawing criticism from gay rights groups, and playing into New Labour's hands on their proposed reforms of the Lords. What they don't point out is that the measure would still have been lost had no hereditary peers voted.

The heaviest fighting in weeks casts new doubt on peace efforts in Kosovo and increases fears that violence could spill into neighbouring Macedonia. A fourth day of clashes near Orahovac in central Kosovo leaves at least 36 ethnic Albanians dead, according to Albanian sources. The continued fighting led the UN Security Council to vote Tuesday to expand the peacekeeping force in Macedonia. Further ammunition for those in the US seeking to justify the UN, and those in the UK supporting the recent defence white paper that would allow Britain to take part in two such operations at once.

The first American to fly in space, astronaut Alan Shepard, dies at Community Hospital near Monterey, California. Shepard was one of the original seven Mercury astronauts named by NASA in 1959, making his historic flight in 1961 aboard the Freedom 7 spacecraft. Ten years later, he walked the moon as commander of Apollo 14. He was 74.
 
Tuesday, 21 July
The International Monetary Fund approves an $11.2 billion support package for Russia. The money will to bolster the nation's battered currency, the rouble, and ease a financial crisis that's crippled the economy. Russian President Boris Yeltsin should press ahead with tough economic reforms, with an immediate $4.8 billion payment. The rest of the loan will be paid later in the year if key economic measures, including tax reforms, are carried out.

A 23 year old man is charged with the murder of three young brothers killed when a firebomb was thrown into their home. The attack horrified Northern Ireland and helped dissipate a week-long protest by Protestant marchers insistent on parading through a hostile Catholic neighborhood. Police would not identify the man charged with the murders, but said he was from the same community where the Quinn brothers -- Richard, 11, Mark, 10, and Jason, 9 -- lived.

The Canadian Red Cross goes bankrupt. It's a measure intended to prevent the charity in compensation negotiations for victims of tainted blood transfusions. A proposed scheme would reduce a $5 billion bill to a maximum trust fund of around $250 million. The victims, infected with Hepatitis C between 1986 and 1990, are unhappy with these limitations to their claim.

 
Monday, 20 July
The teenage sons of Prince Charles are upset after a newspaper spoiled a surprise they were planning for their father's 50th birthday. Princes William and Harry had asked Stephen Fry to write a play for the celebration; the boys would perform it with Oscar-winner Emma Thompson. The tabloid Sunday Mirror reported the secret plan. A royal spokesman said the party will go ahead anyway in August, and didn't point out that this marked the end of the non-invasion of the boys' privacy that all the tabloids signed up to in the wake of their mother's death last year.

Israeli and Palestinian representatives hold the first direct high-level talks in months and agree to a round of talks aimed at ending 16 months of stalemate. The meeting between Israeli Defense Minister Yitzhak Mordechai and Yasser Arafat's deputy Mahmoud Abbas decides to set up teams to tackle issues blocking a Israeli troop withdrawal from the West Bank. More talks are scheduled.

America's Environmental Protection Agency stands by its finding that secondhand tobacco smoke causes cancer, in spite a federal judge's decision that its 1993 report was in error. Although lawyers are still reviewing the ruling handed down by U.S. District Judge William Osteen in North Carolina, officials say an appeal is all but certain. Following a tobacco industry law suit, the judge ruled the EPA based its report on inadequate science.

 
Sunday, 19 July
A tsunami in Papua New Guinea kills more than 1000 people. Around 600 bodies are recovered already, and there are many more floating in a lagoon. Many low-lying villages were swept away when the wall of water, produced by an earthquake near the Soloman Islands, struck on Friday.

Three Orange Order chaplains resign over the recent events at Drumcree. Two others are also expected to leave in the next few weeks. Talks are still continuing in an effort to resolve the crisis, but there's still no agreement.

The Open championship at Royal Birkdale goes down to extra holes after Mark O'Meara and Brian Watts tie at level par 280. O'Meara wins by one shot after the 4 extra. Tiger Woods finishes clear 3rd on +1. The top Brits are Richard Russell and the 18 year old amateur Justin Rose, both on +2, along with Furyk, Parnevik, Love, Rocca and Bjorn.

 
Saturday, 18 July
Team Festina are turfed out of la Tour de France. A masseuse was arrested ten days ago, with 400 vials of drugs in his possession. The team manager and doctor have been arrested, and there are reports that manager Bruno Roussel told the police that drugs were administered to the riders to improve their performance. In order to maintain the "good name" of la Tour, the team are out on their ears. The team riders, led by French mountain champion Richard Virenque, opted against taking their positions at the start. This is either a gross miscarriage of justice, or the first signs that cycling is trying to clean up its act after years of rumours.

Nelson Mandela marries for the third time. His new bride is Graca Machel, the widow of Mozambique President Samora Machel, assassinated by South African elements in 1986.

Leicestershire pull off one of the most amazing County Championship wins of the season against Northamptonshire. At the start of the final day's play, Northants were 161/6 in their second innings, still one run in arrears. But a maiden century from Graeme Swann (111) and 56 from Paul Taylor allowed Northamptonshire to bat 63 overs to finish all out for 365; Leicestershire's target for victory was the highly unlikely 204 from just twenty overs.
Wells and Maddy hit Devon Malcolm for 16 from his first (and only) over, and Franklyn Rose for 19 from his first. Acting captain Chris Lewis blasted an unbeaten 71 from 33 balls, including five fours and four sixes. In the end, Leicestershire were home with four wickets in hand and five balls remaining. The figures of the three bowlers that Northants used in the second innings, all past and present internationals, make for sorry reading:
Bowling O M R W
Malcolm 1 0 16 0
Rose 9.1 0 93 3
Taylor 9 0 91 1

 
Friday, 17 July
The UK is to screen blood to eliminate the risk of passing new-variant CJD, a disease linked with mad cows. NV-CJD has already killed 26 people, and there's believed to be a 1/2500 risk of contracting the illness from infected blood. There's a 1/1750 risk of dying in a motorcycle accident.

Serb police raid the headquarters of an unauthorized ethnic Albanian parliament Thursday, moments after its members swore in separatist leader Ibrahim Rugova as president of the self-styled Republic of Kosovo. About 20 armed riot police and 10 plainclothes officers went into the office of the Democratic League of Kosovo, the province's largest ethnic Albanian political party. The officers seized documents but made no arrests.

Priests in Kentucky are to carry pistols. They're worried about being robbed of their collections by bandits. Opponents view this move as being totally un-Christian; Nancy Kergiew of the Kentucky Christian Squad is quoted as saying Jesus would have puked. 2 Corinthians 3:12, IIRC.

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