Meet me: Saturday, 24th July, Hyde Park Bandstand, 12:30 - 1pm. Be there, or be someplace else.
Jason: my train there takes me through High Wycombe. Are the Wandererers playing?
Tanvir: heck, you almost live there. Track of last time: TLC's "Unpretty". The Wixzard of Salliwoo
Apple Sauce (do NOT =ask!)
Why should we? As all Rocky and Bullwinkle fans know, Applesauce is a part of France, near Lorraine, and the Vosges mountains.

Sally, Jason, good to see you're sticking around. Wet kippers, though. Is there something you'd like to share..?

harking back to early 1996, when sara got a full digest on her own

Those on digest may wish to go back to Digest 741: All Victoria, All The Time. Yes, Sara, someone else has got a full digest.
Yes, people, I am 20 and still have no dr license.
S'nuffink. I'm twentysomething-more, and still sans license. Not that I really need it, or anything.

me in a k/Brendan/Iain sandwhich [pondering]
Well, I certainly have the curves for it.;)
Good.....

Sidebar to keyoneohthree
very yes....just stay on your side of her� ;)
That will be no problem. Whichever side I am on is my side...

nothing for the boy whore ally makes the show, Kenny?
They may have applauded and cheered, but nothing intelligable came out, coz it was all muffled by his hood.

Mmm mmp mph mph mmmph.

Recently, I overdid Rusted Root's new one. I need help.
Go through every CD and every tape in your collection, playing each one exactly once. Apart from the ones that are so crap you chuck them out (:
Or listen to half a dozen tracks on the CD, then switch to see what's on the radio. Even the stations you don't usually like could be playing something decent right now.
If all that fails, go for Internet Radio. There are 2000 stations out there: the good (OZ-FM, BRMB, WKOC) as well as the bad.

Way better than Star Wars (not that it was hard to beat).
Things that are better than Star Wars #804: ONdigital channel 804. The return of BBC WINDMILL 24. A rolling demonstration of the limitations of digital television in the guise of a tourist promotional video of Cornwall. Music by the Aphex Twin.

[ONdigital, the world's first terrestrial television service, is available in selected parts of the UK only. Channel availability may vary. Insult authorised dealers for further information.]

Craig forwards Britany Spears' miniform. She's in The Public Domain, so I can be as cruel as I like.
HAIR: Light Brown
Which shade of dye does she match?

WEIGHT: 105 pounds
Now 120, following her sprained knee in February.

HOBBIES: Shopping,
Ya don't say!
reading romance novels
Ah, Jackie Collins. Full of people with little brain, lots of money, and much bonking.

INFLUENCES: Mariah Carey,
It shows.

FAVOURITE SPORTS TEAMS: Chicago Bulls, New York Yankees
Nothing like a safe choice, is there. Now, if she'd said (ooh) Dallas Cowboys and Atlanta Braves, there would be war.

Craig
No commercials,
Dear BBC CHOICE, once you've re-shown "Murder One", do you want another quality imported drama...
No cheesy logo in the bottom corner
This is why I'm not writing [4] to buy back the rights. I'd sooner have (5)'s almost invisible DOG.
and the end credits roll without any talking.
Curses. Foiled again.

Intriguing scenes on (5)'s repeat of "Fort Boyard" last night. (It fills the gap between Herc and Xena.) There's a game where contestants have to look carefully on the body of a topless female. When the show first went out, at 8pm Friday, we could see just how (er) Sharon-esque she was. In repeats, all there is is a digital fuzz.

Make of that what you will.

You know you've been on the list for some time when the same forwards come through again. It's hello, then, to The One About Womyn In Afghanistan. As I've explained before, there's not a lot more the US government can do. They've already shut off aid to the country, because the ruling militia is harbouring Most-Wanted Osama Bin Laden. They're not going to launch military operations against civilian targets at this stage.

Meantime (and this has changed since March) the Taliban is coming under a counter-insurgency from elsewhere in the country. If you really want to get rid of the nastiness, the best way may be to send weapons to the other groups. Somehow, I don't see that as fitting into the organiser's agenda.

Besides, keoni hit the nail on the head. There's absolutely nothing the UN can do without pressure from national governments. It's the way that organisation does its business.

Nieske (for it was she), quoting me
Nieske's been posting in HTML.
I did? Sorry, I didn't know.
Yep. And you did with the petition.

I don't know where you got these dates from, but they are totally wrong
Aug 22, 1999 Chelmsford V99 Festival
Aug 23, 1999 Leeds V99 Festival The festival runs over two sites. Saturday 21, some bands play in Chelmsford. Sunday 22, they all move and play at Weston Park, Staffordshire - over 100 miles from Leeds. The dates you have look like last years.

the express and star

I had the rest right :)
Sorry, old bean, this is wrong. There appears not to be a proper website for V99, but take a look at www.westmidlands.com for the Weston Park dates. Reverse Saturday and Sunday to find when they're at Chelmsford.

Marj
i touched vicky...n told vicky to make sure she touched her friend, n that her friend touched her dad, n her dad touched tori, n tori touched alanis cuz then its almost like I'VE TOUCHED HER
Wow, cool. How close do I get... well, I've hugged Sarah, who has photos with her arm round Ms Amos, who (you get the picture). So, Marj, [high five]. Cut a degree of separation!

Paulo
discussing whether "Dawson's Creep" or "Party of crap" is better ...Raise the level, please!!!
Okay: FIFA World Team Championships: what are Saudi Arabia doing sending a team there? Could the possibly give Real Madrid or MUN a decent match?

Quoting me:
>They kept Jen, didn't they? And Andaie [spoiler snipped]
I do like Andie. I like the character, and I like her physically.
Be fair, I said nothing about Anduioe. Just that there are plot developments that my mentioning in that line would disclose to UK (and other) viewers.

What I don't like is her "official" website
Overdesigned. Try www.clairedanes.com/

On slapping with wet fish
Is this a sort of obscure english tradition, or just something that people picked up from Asterix?
Well, it's possible. But it's more likely that
[tapping side of head]
These Britons are crazy.

Victoria, Black Widow of the Web
I guess he knows a Tori.
Yes, he does. Life would be better if I didn't.

Are you referring to the author of APP or a particular character? :)
The latter.

Now they're ganging up on me! [delightful squeal] ;)
We will do whatever it takes, within reason. Right, k?

Remember the year Party of Five came out? Of course you do, it was the same time MSCL did.
Pointless factomation: Po5 debuted in the UK at 5:30 Sundays in early May 95. Three months before MSCL came into our lives. That's almost a whole season...

>>~~Victoria~~(I miss Abby)
>Somehow, the ob_south_park response doesn't flow here.
Quit picking on me, Iain, I've had a bad day.
It's not intentional, ma'am. More of an emotional response, the traditional Stan / Kyle double-act just not fitting in. This isn't the ritual killing of Kenny. There are, like, emotions involved.

In fact, I'm on my second wine cooler and ready to try the group thing, if you'd stop insulting me.;)
'Scuse us.

>"Right Here Right Now"
Jesus Jones. Now it all makes sense. Huh? :)
Ohmygawd, she remembers Jesus Jones. Dude!

But no, RHRN was Fatboy's followup over here. With a fab vid.

I'm driving by your house oh no you're not home
(we've done the next bit.)
You've got your hair combed back, and your sunglasses on. Baby!

[BTW: Mark dropped Lisa Forrest's sister Emma into the list. The same one that wrote the book I mentioned midweek.]

Except for the Jamiriqoui song, not my bag, baby...:)
Everything is connected... something to fill an airline sick bag. Jamiroquak.

almost needing a rabies shot was the most hilarious thing ever.
Where's an eight year old law enforcement agent when we need one?

my friend Tommy threatened to set them on fire if they bothered me again
Tommy kicks ass, dude!

Sarah is leaving
Hallelujah!
[/tony_blair]

Sara, who is distinctly not leaving
{Hallelujah! - Tony Blair}
I've tried out msn, netcom mail, outlook express, amonst other programs, and i always come back to eudora light, because its just the best.
Indeed 'tis. Especially for Win-systems, which don't run PINE.

I despise when people use those stupid html things in their emial and it usually seems to come from outlook express?
This is true.

she wrote me today and said, Please don't send me the money,
Prudence writes: If she wants to make a gift of it, then let her. Friends sometimes show their friendship in strange ways. And while this show of wealth can be awkward, especially when you've not got tuppence to rub together, it may be best to let it go once in a while.
{Prudence writes regularly on etiquette for SLATE magazine.}

You think that peole would have the sense to check their webpages on both programs..but nope.
Unless people know that their work will only be seen on one browser, it's common sense to check it against Netscape, Internet Deplorer, and Lynx. You'd be surprised at how many sites fall apart with an over-reliance on graphics.

even if you already have netscape open, it opens in IE!
Sounds like ID thinks it's the default browser. There should be something in Netscape's options like "See if Netscape is default browser on startup". That may cure the problem.

Ross was installing some grpahics program
Name it! Shame it!

And finally. HMG has declared a National Holiday for December 31, being One Year And One Day Before the New Millennium Starts. We got this through our email system Friday:

We will therefore declare this as a 'statutory' holiday, along with 27/28 December and 3 January. Do not think of this as a precedent.�We will consider the implications for 2999, 3999, etc as and when they occur.

LMS: cloud & 22 * Hit the ball up and use your head

First, a word about the London meeting. I had scheduled it for Sunday 24th July. Only, that's using last year's calendar. There isn't another one of those until 2009. Apologies for the confusion. Saturday 24, Sunday 25, IQ 1.

It now turns out that there's another function in Hyde Park on both Saturday and Sunday, so we'll need to move - or find somewhere else to meet - either day.

So... for all the Brits that have come forward in the past day or two. Please answer these:

1) Would you be interested in meeting on 24/25 July in London.
2) If so, which day would be better?
3) Would the other day be good / acceptable / bad / impossible?

Agenda for the day remains (hopefully) sitting on the grass, talking, giggling and doing nothing strenuous. Or expensive. If it's wet, we may have to seek something else to do.

Song of last time was "Your Woman", White Town's 1997 hit. The line: "So much for your highbrow Marxist ways; you use me up and tell me that we're through." Link within the post - APP, anyone?

F-reking hek! It's Nieske's Alphabet Soup Part Six!
Name three 'F' movies...
F-F-F-F-Ffff.

Do you like Friday? What feelings do you have about Fridays?
It's good. Lots of reasons. 1) Friends. 2) South Park. 3) Le weekend starts here. 4) The Frauniad and its Friday Review and Feditor sections. One reviews the weeks news from all over the planet. The other looks at flicks and tunes and stuff.

What's your favourite 'F' word?
Phantasmogorical.

Name five 'F' actors/actresses...
The only one that springs to mind is Felicity Montague, top radio comedy actress.

What's your favourite 'F' band?
[riffle, riffle]
Fatima Mansions? Five Star? Fleetwood Mac? Foo FIghters? Foreigner? 4 hero? Four Tops? Frente!? Fugees? No, it's either the Ben Folds Five or the Fraggles.

keyoneohthree
Vic-TORI-a.......my ex-gal pal's daughter's name is victoria also....we all just called her tori
Aaaah... Reminds me of a Real Psycho (tm). The sort that cuts you up, verbally, without thinking, or showing any emotion. The sort that will mail-bomb you "by accident". The sort that's a darned good teacher by example ):

Speaking of a Tori called Vic, the poems were - well - mazin.
k, Brendan and maybe Iain together could be exciting to watch;)
Someone call? Three blokes? I don't think so, somehow. But while Brendan's away, there might be a [harrumph] space... Keoni, you know lots of way-cool people...

k, to Vic
i like to hug curves......maybe if you were in the middle of this i'd consider it
Mmm, this could also be a possibility.

i wore a dress to high school once, but i never got crowned
Well, so did I. To be exact, a blouse and skirt. Full disclosure: it was Comic Relief, a charity fundraising day where people do really silly things.

Craig
I feel stupid for asking, Where is this "Cabbagetown" you speak of? I've heard of it but I'm not sure if I've ever been there. (Who should stop wandering Yonge St. and wander somewhere else for a change)
Yes, you should. Of all the 'burbs of inner Toronto, Cabbagetown was the place I seemed to be drawn to most days. Partly because my hotel was a block away, but partly because it's great.

Cabbagetown is on the West bank of the Don river, and bounded roughly by Gerrard St to the South, Danforth to the North, and Jarvis St to the West. The heart of the cabbage is at Parliament and Carlton. Lots of community arts programmes, plenty of second hand bookstores, and Victorian/Edwardian housing that is so different from creations like the Rogers building, less than a mile away.

running gag: the cn tower is two blocks away from anywhere in toronto.

The CN Tower appears to be two blocks away wherever you are in Cabbagetown.

The Wixzard of Salliwoo is back! Hurray!
am I the only person amused by the name of this place?
To be honest, that was what brought me wandering that way when Bron didn't show. But it's worth coming back to.

I guess vegetables have always amused me and my friends....sort of like "beware the power of my might TURNIP! It shall defeat your stinking old cabbage!"
Speaking of which, just south of Cabbagetown is Queen Street East. At number 1097 (south side of the street) is a restaurant. Now, I've never been there, so I can't directly comment on the quality of the cuisine. But I gather they do a delicious turnip at Baldrick's Restaurant.

My parents car doesn't have a name, its just sort of called Big Vinnie
Vincent, perhaps..?

From the Public Service Announcement Desk
Victoria~~(Mari-J-uana's bad, umkay?:)
Watch out for "Chums", the latest in the long line of Listee-tv productions. In it, there's a character that makes the cast of South Park look like excellent actors. It's based on someone real...

More on "Chums" tomorrow.

Why do I always miss the beginning of the wedding ep?
Dammit, should have invited you over for last weekend.

Anyway, rewatching the second half, I remembered why I like the show so much. :)
[sigh] Much as I hate to do this, I'm kinda suffering Po5 withdrawal symptoms. Channel [4] had a choice: Dawson's or Five, and went for the more hip one, in spite of it being (IMO) the inferior drama.

That would be OK, with DC running on a Wednesday / Sunday double play slot. Until sporting coverage jumped in, making the Weds slot unviable. And forcing viewers to Sunday midday. When the programme has the added distraction of a blob of lemon curd that (apparently) is meant to tell us we're watching the station we're watching. Like we didn't know already.

To add insult to injury, the final three episodes will be shown in one afternoon. Now, this is a weekly drama. Episodes are meant to be seen at least seven days apart. Not seven commercials apart.

Quite frankly, Mr Peters, this stinks. It's clear that you are using "Dawson's Creek" as a vehicle to drive in ratings on what would otherwise be a quiet Sunday for your channel. You are also acting in a manner that destroys the dramatic tension that the producers work hard to achieve.

I can only assume that this is symbolic of your cavalier intentions for other drama series you intend to broadcast. As a supporter of fine television drama first, and channels second, I will clearly have to think carefully before committing myself to future [4] presentations, lest the scheduling be manipulated in a way that destroys the pace of the entertainment.

{The last two paras are quoted verbatim from a letter I've sent to Andi Peters, Commissioning Editor for Youth Programmes at [4]. The DOG is bad. The scheduling is worse.}

~~Victoria~~(I miss Abby)
Somehow, the ob_south_park response doesn't flow here.

Quoting Sally
>Fat Boy Slim.
"I have to praise you like I shouuuulddddd........."
You guys got "Right Here, Right Now" yet? Check the video...

I nominate Iain as list mom
Oh, darling, such an honour. But I really must decline. For one thing, I'm too much involved with being The Digest Bloke. For another, someone will have to be the List Political Correspondent at some point. Just because that point is 26 years away doesn't stop me from bagging it now. And for another, I'm so not cut out to be a mum. How's about asking Angela who she would nominate, and running with that.

Well, my tan is faded, and I'm wearing a tank top, so I'll say the strap.
Quick, make sure it doesn't show... Surely there's another way to do that...

"Remember how you made me crazy, remember how I made you scream"
Empty lake, empty streets. The sun goes down. Alone.

now I can't insult any of you?
No, no, no. You can insult us as much as you think we can stand. Just don't tell really, obviously, blatant fibs.

Iain "what are they feeding you?"
I'm obviously not their favourite poet.

I watched the Weird Al Behind the Music on VH1.
You lucky, lucky thing. Don't get VH1 here ):

I know, I need help. It's just so addicting......
Nonsense. The guy is pretty fly, for a rabbi.

I got the No Boundaries cd for the Tori Amos song "Merman", and now I like "Last Kiss." It's creepy, in a good way.
I'm thinking of ordering that album in; is it good? People?

Are your balls burning?;)
Umm, let's take this offlist...

Is Tanvir Dawson Leery?
Don't know. Have a look below you, to your right. Do you see a blob of lemon curd, or something else yellow? You do? You, Tanvir, Could Be A Millionaire. Sorrywrongscript.

they need a couple of ugly people to even things out!
They kept Jen, didn't they? And Andaie [spoiler snipped]

MSCL and whether Channel 4 would repeat it over again
No. The rights expired in Dec 97. AFAIK, they're still on the market. Given my current low opinion of the channel, I'd sooner see it repeated on Trouble / Disney / SKY ONE / Rapture than [4].

Imagine the scene. Angela is looking into the mirror. She frowns. Squeezes her face. There's a blob of jam that won't come off. v/o "So I have a DOG". How would the Chase cat cope? Could we stomach epis 9 and 15 running back to back?

keoni
>jessica, my ex, went back home today
Wonderful! Brilliant! Fabbo! Hugs all round.

And Matt
Just a quck post to see how many of the listies are from and/or live in the UK
I does! I does!

Do write about the meeting y'all.

KNW: sun & 21 * You can look inside you, find out who I am too

Last time's quote, "My love for you will still be strong". From Don Henley's "Boys of Summer", as was the title line. Not a tricky one.

Neither was progression in the Intertoto Cup. Montpellier went all over Karabakh, winning 6-0; 9-0 on aggregate. The third round begins this weekend.

Back to the Boys for a moment. It prompted Victoria to say
I like your taste in music, Iain. "I can see you......"
But what does Mr Henley see shining in the sun? Is it your brown skin, or a bra strap?

amazon.co.uk

Anyhow, if you like that song, you may be interested in a novel loosely based around it. "Namedropper", by Emma Forrest, is a thoroughly good read, detailing a girl's summer of discovery and strangeness. Less than five quid from amazon.co.uk, post not included. I recommend it to anyone.

Paulo
Web browsers are for wimps. Real Hackers (TM) just telnet to port 80 and read the data stream.
Pah! True Hakers (R) listen to the sounds on the telewires and interpret the data from that.

most of the "I DON'T WANT MORE MAIL" messages are caused by human stupidity
Most of such messages eminate from *.aol.com. 'Nuff said.

Scott, welcome back.

Victoria
you can actually sue over things said on this list? Yikes!
* I am not a lawyer. Please consult qualified legal specialists for definitive advice. Can't take responsibility for actions as a result of this.*

But, yes. Lawsuits can be brought over things written in email. See the ongoing Justice -v- Microsoft case. Especially in a public forum, such as this, anything you say can be actioned. As libel. Though only against the original poster, not the publisher.

Chelle, the First Lady of Cool Things
my kitty purcilla, who was still living at my parents house, had to be put to sleep.
Och, a non-cool thing. Bless. Hugs. I feel some Phoebe lyrics coming on:

#Chelly cat, Chelly cat, it's not your fault...#

Ugh. Sorry, those were Phoeble lyrics.

Nieske, hugs, too. Good you're still here.

the main joke being that england never qualified for the 94 world cup, hence no song - official or otherwise.

E-E-E for England...
What's your favourite 'E' song?
Well, "E for England", a Philip Pope spoof for England's 1994 World Cup campaign, is kinda cool, in a piss-take manner. Of serious songs:

eat it - weird al
echo beach - martha & the muffins
eloise - barry ryan / the damned
the emperor's new clothes - sinead o'connor
end of the road - boys ii men
every heartbeat - amy grant
everybody up! - the glam metal detectives
everyone's gone to the moon - johnathan king
everything's gonna be alright - sweetbox / sounds of blackness
exhale - whitney houston
eye level - the simon park orchestra

How do you usually Express yourself?
Right here.

What's your favourite 'E' movie?
Er..pass

What do you think about Enrique Vasquez?
Deserves better.

What's your favourite 'E' word?
Ever.

Favourite muppets? Ze Count. Ha ha ha ha ha.

Tanvir
What good films have you seen recently? I myself was kinda surprised by how good Cruel Intentions was, the ending especially.
Do not bother with "Star Wars". Cut the queues, go see "Ten Things..." Not only does it have the gorgeous Larysa Oleynik (sp?) [or Joseph-Gordon Levitt, delete to taste...], but it's also the best Shakespeare adaptation in a long time.

Nieske's been posting in HTML. Please take a [br] from this annoying habit.

Hyde Park on the 25th may be
A little too far to swim, even for a Lady of the Sea.:)
But even if Victoria's not going to be there, plenty of other people can make it. Let me know if you will be there.

Tunes of the week
+ "She's So High" - Tal Bachman (import single)
+ "The Ego Has Landed" - Robbie Williams (North American album)
+ "Last Kiss" - Pearl Jam (to buy Aug 2)
+ Lilith Fair vol 3 (import)
+ "Chocolate Salted Balls (PS I Love You)" - Chef (1998 single)
+ "Born in the USA" - Bruce Springsteen (1984)

Craig
Have you heard of "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels"? The ads always say "The Comedy That Conquered Britain" I'm wondering if it's really that huge over there.
It completely passed me by, until the video came out early this year, and it started taking NAm. Maybe I was just looking in the wrong place...

Keoni, there's nothing unusual about emotions. They have a life of their own. If you could control them, they wouldn't be emotions. Best thoughts to your bud. Best thoughts to you.

Sara
a wireless mouse? wow, I've never heard of that!
Yes, it talks by infra-red, or ultra-violet, or radio waves, or something equally clever. ONdigital expect to be selling keyboards for their boxes by the end of the year, and those will be wireless as well. Darned clever.

Nieske on the Coors
They're playing at two festivals (Glastonbury & Leeds? Not completely sure though) on 22 and 23 August
Try Colchester, Essex, slap-bang next to Sara and Ross'; and Weston Park, only a few miles away from Wolverhampton, formerly Weaverville. And they're the 21st and 22nd.

Glasto was last month, Leeds the following weekend.

Paulo, on Kubrick's newie
There's also a column about the censorship that the film is going to suffer in order to be released in the US:
What's far worse is that the United Station cuts are also going to Canada, even though the film would probably have survived uncut north of the border. Wretched Puritans!

Victoria
If you don't want to, I'll do a Buffy story
[harrumph] Haven't we already done that one..?

Sade
birthdate: Nov 1st
Hurrah! What a cool date!

Almost as cool as Sunday week. You coming to join us in Hyde Park? Drop a line to book your place.

knw: showers & 20 * so much for your highbrow marxist ways

Last time's quote: "He lives in a treehouse in Burbank, California." Regular Animaniacs viewers will know that as being part of the Slappy Squirrel theme song. In discussing "Murder One", I referred to Ted "Slappy" Hoffman, and, in episode one, the Case Commences.

Nieske
YAY IRIS
Back on release in the UK, for no obvious reason, other than it's a way-cool song. See also: "The Boys of Summer".

What? Who? I'm terribly sorry but actually I don't have the foggiest idea what you're talking about...
OK, evidently Dutch tv isn't as good as our Channel Five. Now that is a scary thought... You know of "Daria", the sarcastic teen in an MTV animation. Her sister, Quinn, is a bit of an airhead, and hangs out with other complete airheads. They discuss clothes and makeup and nothing else. Most of the lines in List-less reminded me of these characters. I'm sure it was unintentional...

Reportedly the Dutch tv channel that broadcasted Wimbledon, had 40% less viewers this year,
Sidebar: Germany could only see Wimbledon through pay-to-view television: would the Dutch audience have increased over the border? [/musing]

our one and only hero and my almost-cousin Richard Krajicek lost so soon already...
Third round was lower than we expected. But given that he had a nasty injury...

Victoria
Well, there's really no point, moral, or exciting cliffhanger to this post, just my usual rambling. :)
That's fine, it sounds like a fun thing to do. Making jewellry can always be fun.

Marion, welcome.

Tanvir
Is Crawley in Essex?
Not even close. West Sussex is the county you're thinking of.

I mean there's really crap groups like 911, S Club Seven,
Oi! Don't knock a Fuller_band, else they'll come over and kick your butt. Remember the 21st Century Girls? Thought not.

everyone I know calls the BS Boys the Back Passage Boys, but that's a whole different letter. :)
French, I believe.

Oh, curses. My copies of the next two digests are kinda cut off half way down. Must download them again.

Don't forget to let me know if you're coming: Hyde Park in two weeks.

LMS: sunny & 25 * my love for you will still be strong

The link between my K9 post yesterday and the quote at the end. "***K the millennium" was the one record released by 2K, the band formerly known as the KLF, previously trading as the Timelords. That band's biggest hit was "Doctoring the Tardis", where K9 spent three happy years in the late 70s.

It's rare for me to trail a new tv series, still less repeats. But "Murder One", the greatest television drama of the past four years, is on reruns in the UK. Case One, starring Daniel Benzali as Ted "Slappy" Hoffman in the California -v- Neil Avadon trial, begins again next Wednesday. You'll be able to see it on BBC CHOICE ENGLAND at 22:30 next Wednesday. SKY digital viewers in Scotland, Wales, NI will be able to see the feed; those via ondigital won't. Those thinking of getting a digital system have another excuse.

Drop-quiz! Nieske
What's your favourite 'D' word?
Defiant.

Name five bands/artists with 'D'...
[riffles through hit singles book again]
Dana International, Sammy Davis Jr, "National" Doris Day, Deacon Blue, Def Leppard, the Definition of Sound, del Amitri, Depeche Mode [ob_deca], Thomas Dolby, Dubstar, Duran Duran and Slim Dusty.

Yes, Brendan, there is no Jason Donovan. Yes, Carol, I can't count.

Who's your favourite 'D' actor?
Dana International, as the entire Eurosong audience will agree.

What's your favourite time of the day: dawn, daylight, dusk, or darkness?
Dusk, I guess.

Name a 'D' movie...
Dumbo!

From Nieske's Big List
you write smileys in your snailmail
Do normal smiley faces count? No? Good.

your phone bill is higher than the rent of your house
Not by a long chalk, thank goodness!

you get a job in computers/internet business, just to be able to go online during your work time
/me declines to comment.

you think in html ([p]mom, what's for dinner?[/p])
Shurely [form][p]Ma, what's for dinner? [dropbox height=1 selections=1] [item] fish n chips [item] bangers n mash [item] pasta salad [item] knitting and ketchup [/dropbox][/form]

you are subscribed to at least 10 mailing lists
Guilty, only if you count the various sports announcement lists individually.

you have at least one homepage and maintain at least one other page
That would be my job, in part.

you have both IE and Netscape
What are these modern inventions? Some of us prefer Lynx.

Shannon
favorite hero/heroine (real or unreal): powerpuff girls
Ohmygawd, it's the Other Powerpuff Girls Fan! Those of you who haven't seen this already are missing a treat. Cartoon Network / Teletoon; check local listings for details. It's kinda like the Spice Girls turn into superheroes. Only better. And Bis provide the closing music.

Betsy
I had such a great guy
Where? Who? Which? When? "Great" was not a word that I'd like to use.

Angela
I'm thinking of buying a laptop, preferably used, I need one with as big a keyboard as possible.
The keyboard's really a function of the size of the laptop itself. The larger the laptop, the bigger the keyboard. My best advice is to try before you buy, as the quality varies vastly between models.

I've also heard that the screens tend to be ill lit - is this true?
Some of them are. LCD screens were common until about two years ago, and they're hard to read unless you're looking right at it. TFT screens arrived here in 97, and should be on the second hand market around now; they respond a lot better, are brighter, and generally great. If you've ever seen a TFT, you'll never want to choose an LCD again.

I'll be using it almost exclusively at home
All will take an external keyboard and monitor; some have "docking stations" that allow these things to be permanently plugged in.

am pretty sure I want a modem with it
PCMCIA modems, similar in size to a credit card, are ubiquitous. A new one shouldn't set you back more than $100; you may get one with the laptop anyway.

That's the words of someone who has handled about 500 of the things for his work over the past few years. Your mileage may vary.

Craig speaks of
Sanctuary Vampire Sex Bar
Bronwyn, my dear old thing, weren't we meant to visit there..?

Angela
Dove makes the best chocolate
That sounds a little strange - I associate Dove with a soap "that's 1/4th moisturiser". Not the kind of thing I'd associate with eating. Not even if I was auditioning for South Park.

Sara
what is zapping?
Shooting around channels, looking for something decent to watch. Common in the US, where there are millions of channels. Not known in the UK, where there are but five to choose from. Apart from digi/sat/cable homes, and most of them have that groovy green Now & Next guide.

I thinkt he 'this mail was sent to' though is just a new feature of mail list :)
Dr Wordsmith writes: Ah, using the Microsoft definition of feature, there.

you should make this int a forward
I'm very sorry, but I'm going to have to shoot you.
Bang.
What a senseless waste of human life.

Marj
Kristina like told me shes interested in this other girl megan ....man...granted this weekend we were like on break but now we're not.�To me its like i need her to just want to be with me...she says she does but i want her to tell this megan chick that we're together again....god....sometimes...its just HARD being with her yanno....i cant' even say how just hard.
[hugs] It sounds it.

Something in this whole setup reminds me of Ross and Rachel off of Friends. I can just see you relating the whole tale, and Hugh Laurie interrupting to say "And it's quite clear that you two were on a break!"

Jason's fave shows include
The Day Today,
CM: Financial news, with Valerie Sinatra.
RF: The currency markets were thrown into turmoil today when the Bank of England lost the pound. Trading in the British currency was suspended for 23 minutes until assistant Governor Lionel Cosgrave found it underneath the coffee machine. A spokesman said that usually they reckon it's somewhere down the side of the sofa, or in someone's jacket pocket.

Cow and Chicken, I Am Weasel, Johnny Bravo,
Wot no Two Stupid Dogs? Still, now we've named the entire roster of Cartoon Cartoons...

Victrioa
someone else who doesn't love Love (even the name annoys me).
It's not so much Ms Hewlett's talents as the intensely twee character she plays. So unrealistic it's, like, insane. Disbelief cannot be suspended until the writers give her a life; so-called or otherwise.

Tanvir's been at the HTML-ified posts again. That makes him [DIV] of the day.

Brendan leaving on a jet plane
Start spreading the news, I'm leaving today Brendan, old chap, please, please sort your lounge music from your hippie music. "Leaving on a Jet Plane" was a Peter Paul & Mary track, from the depths of the early 70s. "Start spreading" is Sinatra's "Theme From 'New York, New York'" ten years later.

The weekend's Inter-two-bob Cup action: FC Karabakh Agdam 0; Montpellier Herault SC 3. A great away win for the French side should see them through to the next round. Return leg this weekend.

Angela
I joined Mail List last June sometime,
Which means we've had a year of Angela. Doesn't time fly...

On cat-naming
Red: sort of like calling a cat Spot - plays against type and pays homage to Jordan's chariot
Does anyone else remember Hong Kong Phooey? A Hanna-Barberra toon from about 1973, now running on Cartoon Network (UK, at least). This incompetent superhero is a dog who relies on the Hong Kong Book Of Kung-Fu, and is always rescued by his striped cat, Spot.

Fame moments. Sister Machine Gun. MP3's artists of the day. Played on radio stations on every continent that doesn't begin with the letter A. But how does their fame stack up? On the EFFI, they score 3321.28, making them 25 times as famous as Lisa's sister.

Nieske, on our favourite brand of beer
they're having a stupid Europe vs. USA discussion now, because the Corrs reportedly don't like the USA.
They don't? Haven't the United Stations been taken in by the soft, mid-Atlantic liltings of "What Can I Do?" It's massive north of the border, but these US chaps are a law unto themselves. Fancy not letting That Sunscreen Record into their Top 40.

Brendan
There was a deathly silence over Cakeside as Iain's lifeless body drifted to the bottom of Listees Creek.
Ohmygawd! You killed Iain! You b*stards!
[/south_park]

Is Clueless that good? Isn't it about some Californian girl who just fusses over her make-up or something?
Nah, wasn't that Sarah Reeves' entire role on Party of Five?
[/bitchy_bitchy]

Tanvir
I was invited for an interview by the BBC to give my opinion on an Asian comedy programme callled Goodness Gracious Me, which I love.
Much as I hate to do this, it really was better on the radio. As you'll have seen from the first series. But it's still great. Going for an English, anyone? (:

pwei were big circa 1992.

I think 'Bullet proof' is a great song for when somebody gets killed off.
Not Radiohead, use the Pop Will Eat Itself track. "Everybody's happy now / Everybody's singing / Everybody's happy now / We're bulletproof". To an absurdly happy, boppy techno track, natch.

Gee, I'm showing my age here...

Discs of the week:
* "Astronauts & Heretics" - Thomas Dolby, 1992
* "Spice World" - Spice Girls, 1997
* "Iris" - Goo Goo Dolls single, now
* "The Rockerfeller Skank" - Fatboy Slim, 1998

Cory is right about kissing. So's JSRS. It's, like, the best.

Brendan
My mother is convinved the list is a cult
It's not.

I'm going to be abducted during my holiday in America
You won't.

EVERYONE else says it's weird.
The worst thing that's happened on any trip I've taken resulting from conversations held on this list was spending uncomfortable flights from Manchester to Toronto. The ones to St John's, from London or Toronto, were fine. So were the ones home. As was what I did while other places. More on trips at the end, btw.

From the "It's A Shame!" studio, Betsy
We've decided to just be friends.
It's a shame!

Craig
The one with "Doppleganger Willow" is one of my favourites (Willow in Leather!!!!).
Oh dear. You do realise that I won't be able to sleep for weeks now...

Sara on Ms Danes
And especially how she treats mscl - kind of like it was some kind of mistake, and she wants to put it behind her.
And yet... Harold Wexler wrote Planet Claire yesterday. Some movie guide has said that ditching MSCL may have seemed a reasonable idea, but it sure ain't turned out that way. One hit starring role, and that owes as much to Leo diLaine as her own consummate skills. Not entirely sure I agree with the guide, but there's multiple sides to this argument.

In not-entirely-unrelated news, Claire's long time boyf, Ben Lee, has a single out in the UK this week. It will be interesting to see if he can make it a hit without doing any promotion. In fairness, I hope he doesn't manage to beat the re-release of "Iris", coz that deserves to be massive.

A pig writes:
Toward the middle, you are a realist.
Facing right, you are innovative and active, but don't have a strong sense of family, nor do you remember dates.
Facing front (looking at you), you are direct, enjoy playing devil's advocate and neither fear nor avoid discussions.
[Bear with me on this one: the body's pointing right, but the pig is half-looking forward. Damn my lack of artistic skills!]
With few details, you are emotional and naive, you care little for details and are a risk-taker.
With 4 legs showing, you are secure, stubborn, and stick to your ideals.
[The back legs are just peeking out...]
The size of the ears indicates how good  a listener you are.
[About the size of the eyes.]
The length of the tail  indicates the quality of your love life!!!!
[Guffaw! This is a double-curl with a bow on the end. A lot longer than would be strictly accurante.]

Nieske pens List-less. Is it meant to sound like members of the Fashion Club out of Daria? I can just imagine Tiffany's monotone through many of those lines...

keyoneohthree
wait a minutie....will i get royalties?
Almost. You'll get Sarah Ferguson.

shimelle, the laa-laa of the plains, returns (hurrah!)
"Take Me To Your Heaven", the Eurosong winner swedishblondeheaveneurosonggirl (can you tell i don't know her name?)
Repeat after me. Char-lotte Ni-el-sen. Charlotte Nielsen. Do get it right, else I'll make you listen to the Bosnian and Portugese entries all night.

sang this 'live' on richard and judy...and i so don't understand why richard and judy can say they have live performances for the play-out when it's obvious they all lipsync. is this not a regulated term here?
It is, but she just has to appear in person. Not necessarily sing live.

richard not judy, the latest lee and herring low-budget piss-take of crappy daytime tv

of course, there's prolly something to be said about me and my addiction to richard and judy anyway.
Well, yes. There is. Have a look for Richard Not Judy sometime.

but you never know what the invasion of wal-mart will do to the selling price market on this side of the ocean. :)
Probably feckall. Sadly.

i miss the old dischordant theme tune!
Saturday, (5) @ 5.

warrior princess who knows zero about tennis but is trying to understand the wimbledon finals
Here's all you need to know. American hits ball better than opponent and wins. Everyone is happy. Especially NBC.

Victoria
not just approval, but appreciation from the Porn Queen and the Pirate! Thank you both so much. I would like to thank all the little people...
Oh, no, she's pretending to get emotional. Don't mention your family, or there'll be tears! Tears, I say!

Finally. Anyone up for a gathering in London over the next few weekends? If there are good or bad days, please let me know over the next few days. Hurrah!

LMS: sunny & 23 * when everything's made to be broken

If the subjet line is wrong, full coverage will be provided on BBC Radio 4. "The Archers" will go out on long wave only.

Sara
what is up with my feet!!!? I need some new feet!
Not sure about what to do with problem feet. I know that if there's something wrong with a finger, we can just go to the second-hand shop.

Victoria
I've never been to an English wedding. But I've seen 4 Weddings and a Funeral, does that count?:)
Nope. Nor does watching "Friends" in London. Unless you were at the recording. [envious looks to Putney]

Inspired by keoni, Discs of the week:
"Sixpence None the Richer", the album
"The Animal Song", Savage Garden
"Take Me To Your Heaven", the Eurosong winner
"The Ego Has Landed", Robbie's best
"Alisha Rules The World"
"Watermark", Enya's summer album
Awaiting... new Spice Girls, someone to pick up "Party of Five", and working out the musical equivalent of Kevin Bacon. I think it's Elton John, but need to prove it.

Actually, it's absolutely ages since I bought a full-price UK CD. It was Great Big Sea's "Play" last July. Since then, there have been ones ordered from the States, a whole pile over from Canada, and lots of reduced and sale discs. But no full price CDs in over a year. 'Mazin!

Tanvir
Glastunbury looked a bit disappointing this year (well Skunk Anansie were brilliant)
According to the uk-radio list, Glastonbury is merely an excuse for aging hippies to recall how they wanted their youth to be, not how it was.

Cory!
I don't think that now that I'm no longer a virgin I ought to go dropping my pants all the time.
Well said! Too right!

Okay, it's July, time to make a few quick requests.
1) Do not post in HTML. You may be able to see the nice colours and formatting. Others will find your mail turns into illegible, unreadable mush.
2) Do, please, quote as little as you can. We don't need the whole previous post to make sense of what you're replying to. Some of us pay by the second - and by the byte - for downloads.
3) Be very careful about attachments. Those on digests can't read them at all. Other people may not have the appropriate software to decode it. You may wish to consider putting the item on a website somewhere and telling us where it is.
Thank you!

Brendan
who was Sherman Clump
Who he? His Emma Forrest Fame Index (EFFI) is 15.79. I don't feel at all guilty about not knowing who he is.

Chelle, First Lady of Cool Things
yesterday was one year for me on this list.
Happy one year and four days it is!

Sara
Serena is pregnant. Scary, no?
Ew. Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew. It's almost as sick-making as, as, something very spewsome.

My mom says that shes matured a lot in the last year
A 50% raise for someone on minimum wage is still a pittance.

they've taken that part back, yay!!!
Indeed, they have. Which is good news.

However... there's no way that I can be held to a contract that would not be enforced by an English court. It's clear that the Nu-Yahoo contract is weighted so heavily as to fall fowl of the Unfair Contract Terms Act. And so, doesn't count in the slightest.

For the rest of you, whether the act of clicking on a link can be construed as accepting a set of terms is a very unclear area.

are you talking to Ross?
I know he doesn't read list mail. He's only here vicariously. While what I wrote does apply to him, he's not the chap I had in mind.

Over on the tvcream list, there are memories of "Words and Pictures", a show for 6-year-olds set in a library. There would be a story, a demonstration of how to write a letter, and two or three songs. It was presented by Charley, a cardboard puppet that appeared to be about a foot high; and Vicki Ireland, who spoke through her nose and was the most annoying person imaginable. A number of cream-listers say that this formed stereotypes of other "Vicki"s for them. Another reason why America's Ms Ramble prefers not to use that moniker?

Dr Geyer
MAcabi Haifa - Wasn't that Eli's (long-ex listee) team?
Indeed, that's the case. After they thrashed Paris St Germain in the Cup-Winners' Cup (RIP) last season, Eli and I adopted MH as the list's unofficial pro team, as opposed to Betsy's school team.

Well, I do know one person who is mourning this result then :-)
Make that two - one of my colleagues specialises in Huge Odds bets, and had money riding on MH in the UEFA cup, at 10,000/1. He also had Man Utd in the FA Cup, which is also a loser.

the rat was sharon, dressed as a cat...

Craig
Didn't the Chase's have a Cat? I don't remember seeing it,
The Hallowe'en episode certainly features a rat in the Chase house. (: [Go watch it again]

Tino's name was always being mentioned but he was never seen either, hmmmm. Could the Chase's cat and the mysterious Tino be one and the same?
A theory that was doing the rounds before I got here. Which would make it ancient. But still plausible.

Marj
i'm sure you're all cursing her for mailing me that postcard
No. Why should we? Where would we be without having someone to remind us of the genius that is Alanis Morissette? Or who has as much life and pizzaz as Marj does?

Speaking of which, the very first Daria (Esteemsters) played yesterday. I never noticed that the theme tune's changed in the intervening years. It's become more in tune, less dischordant. For those of you in backward countries that haven't seen the new series, like the USA, it's even better than season 2. The one with the radio crew is a particular hoot.

LMS: sun & 19 * can't pay my bills, telephone bills, automobills

destiny's child, bills bills bills, 1999

Before we go further, a Public Service Announcement. As you may know, Geocities, the residence for my websites, has recently been taken over by Yahoo. As part of this merger, users are requested to agree to new terms of service, which appear to grant Yahoo a royalty-free, irrevocable, right to re-use material posted there. As much of my sites are original content, not published elsewhere, I'm not prepared to grant them that permission.

Now, I'm resident in England, and cannot be forced to accept a foreign juristiction. Better lawyers than myself are poring over the situation at the moment; it's possible that the "irrevocable" part cannot stand up in court.

Until the situation is resolved, I'm unable to update my website. Those of you who watch it weekly for updates may wish to wait a week or so, should alternate arrangements need to be made.

We passed Digest 693 on Tuesday night. Didn't expect to arrive here quite so quickly this year.

Well, the Eurosoccer news you've all been waiting for: Maccabi Haifa took a superb 1-0 win in Karabakh on Saturday. Banado scored on 10 minutes, and the Azerbaijan side were lucky not to condede another goal. The result over two legs is 2-2, meaning that Karabakh progress on the away goals rule. They now face Montpellier in the second qualifying round over the next two weekends.

Iz
no matter how old you are, do your parents still tell you what to do?
Mine try. And fail, sometimes.

Lady Victoria of Absolute Fabulousness
I'm more like Eddy (but better dressed),
This is not rocket science. Pass the frozen chicken.

than that American chick married to one of her ex husbands.:)
If you had to cast AbFab of listies, I might be eighteenth choice Saffy. Way behind the first choice.

Quoting me >Of course, I owe it all to my watcher.
Sorry to betray your trust
Hang on, I never told her. And I don't think Victoria's met my watcher. So ... who was it?

Iain:Because [weezing sound] Brendan, I am your father.
Brendan:NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.............
I am?! This will cause ripples, it will.

Brendan, my son
"Do you have the time to listen to me whine?!"
Dunno. Do you have the nous to listen to Wierd Al's Alternate Polka? Off of 96's "Bad Hair Day".

Ladle Victriola of the See
and I've misunderstood every word to "One Week"
Ah, the BNLs. Betwixt Hootie and the Blowfish and my winnings from Billboard Music Brain. You mean you misunderstood "Hot like wasabe when I bust rhymes, big like Leann Rimes, because I'm all about value. Bert Kampfert's got the mad hits, you try to match wits, you try to hold me but I bust through."

Angelcookie
I've never been a big fan of this "i-gotta-get-drunk-every-weekend" thing that's VERY -I repeat, VERY- common in Finland.
As it is in England, at least in certain (disreputable) circles.

I couldn't even walk up right, I was constantly falling down.
Ouch. It's terrible, n'est ce pas?

I've been configuring a search engine at work recently, and looking at the default list of excluded words. These are the words so common in English that they're ignored by the search beastie. The file ends with what's very nearly the lines spoken by an very inquisitive friend to someone who has been visiting umm-land:
"Where? Which? While? Who with? Would you?"

We hear that
terry fishwick is alive and with us today
Wonderful. Excellent. Pardon me for asking, but who is Mr Fishwick. On the "How Famous Is Emma Forrest Index", he scores the stonking grand non-total of 0.00. Ms Lisasister scores 132.15, an annualised growth rate of just over 200%.

In the A-Z, it's Great Big "C"! Nieske
What do you think about concerts, what was the best one you've ever been to
One of: Crowded House / Voice of the Beehive, Wolverhampton, 6.92; Rolf Harris / Bjorn Again, Birmingham Uni, 3.93; Tori Amos, W'ton, 5.98; Kenickie, W'ton, 6.98.

solos: mary-chapin carpenter, shaun colvin, tom and eddie cochrane, marc cohn, elvis costello

Who's your favourite MSCL character: (Sharon) Cherski, (Jordan) Catalano or (Angela) Chase?
Chase, I guess.

What's your favourite 'C' movie?
I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue.

Over in tellyland,
Tanvir (deciding whether to go on National tv or not - seriously)
Let me reduce this to the simple question: would you be happy to be reminded of this moment ten years later? Does the show have the cachet of "Blockbusters", or is Simon Mayo involved? Are you gunning for "University Challenge", or Cliff Evans? On the other hand, if in doubt, do it.

Angela
there are certainly some males of youthful persuasion whose heartfelt goal is Romantic versus Erotic love - the list is pretty short.
The only (other?) one I know falls into that category is taken. Speak up now, old chap. We know you're out there.

This had led to many awkward encounters where the female of the couple is eagerly reading poetry by moonlight while the male is wondering how long it will take to get her bra off.
Yeah, but if it's half-way decent poetry, that problem will not arise. It won't be the only thing that doesn't arise...

I've said it again and again and will keep saying it- the real thing is worth waiting for darlings, don't settle.
She ain't wrong there, ya know.

keyoneohthree suggests band names
soul ring
Are alive and well and playing in Warwick. Crap, by all accounts.
Silverfish
Creation signing circa 91; like Skunk Anansie, without the ballads.

Priestess Cory Falcon, the Laa-Laa of the Desert, (etc)
The one thing I've found out lately is that if you really like someone, you can't just have sex with them, or even mess around, without having emotional repercussions. Or I can't.
It's not just you. Trust me.

It plummets you into a kind of intimacy that you can only have with a lover. And then it gets hard, and weird.
[sigh]
I'm kinda reminded of she-who-first-took-me. Coz that's the way it was, really. We'd known each other for yonks, had a major make-out session in which we'd almost done it, but didn't. Then kept our distance for a while, then I figured it was time. In retrospect, it was still too soon, and the pressure (from her, and the "everyone else is doing it..." stuff) told.

Anyway.

knw: p/cloud & 19 * the female of the species is more deadly

female of the species, space, "spiders" (1996)